Au Fait
by peterpauper
Summary: "It matters not how strait the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul." Sequel to Alexithymia.
1. Authors Note

**Au Fait: Authors Note**

_Au Fait: being up to particular stan__dard or level especially in being up to date in knowledge._

Au Fait is the sequel to Alexithymia. Without the first story the second is incomplete. It needs its foundations. So please, if you intend to read this story please have read its former first.

I would rather have you understanding the story than getting lost within it.

For those of you that have read Alexithymia, I hope you're looking forward to Au Fait. I am sorry it has taken so long to get to this point, but I have been busy and transitioning and stressing my brains out. Hopefully it wont happen again. I plan to post weekly, sometimes more and rarely less. I don't want you waiting in the lurch for the story so I'll update as often as I can. Bare in mind though that I am busy.

As per usual, I value reviews highly. They really are the fuel to this story. You can make it on half a tank of gas, but you feel better if it was full. Your input, constructive criticism and contact means a lot to me and I really appreciate it. Without sounding prosaic, if you're reading, please be reviewing. I will try my best to reply to you as well.

Blessings,

- P.


	2. Preface

**Preface**

* * *

_Out of the night that covers me,  
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,  
I thank whatever gods may be  
For my unconquerable soul._

_In the fell clutch of circumstance_  
_I have not winced nor cried aloud._  
_Under the bludgeonings of chance_  
_My head is bloody, but unbowed._

_Beyond this place of wrath and tears_  
_Looms but the Horror of the shade,_  
_And yet the menace of the years_  
_Finds, and shall find, me unafraid._

_It matters not how strait the gate,_  
_How charged with punishments the scroll._  
_I am the master of my fate:_  
_I am the captain of my soul._

_(William Earnest Henley, Invictus)_

She had expected to die. She had been prepared to die. She had thought that her end had come.

And yet, when the opportunity for life had arisen, she had grasped at it. Held onto it. Maybe even begged for it.

She had expected to die. Perhaps she had.

The moon had always been constant in a world of darkness. It had made it so that things were never dark in the sense that they were bad, but rather dark in the sense that they were misconstrued and maybe even a bit lost. They were lives, not antagonists; the anti-hero's.

The moon became a constant guide. It was timeless, ageless and never once moved. It was a consistent force in a world that was not. It was something beautiful in a place where there was very little pleasure. It was something that reminded a person about how far they'd come and what they'd gone through.

This was not the moon of the Real World. That sky moved. It twisted. It had a time and an age. It could be good and bad, big or small, phasing or full. It was inconstant and constant at the same time. It too, was life. It was just a different life. It was a process of evolution over time.

Said moon seeped lazily through the windows of a hospital suite. It oozed over ugly teal floors and into the mirror above the sink. It shifted between the curtains and onto the sheets where a still figure lay.

There was a beeping machine and the drip, drip, drip of medical equipment. A yellow light crept under the door and through its long, thin window. Outside a whole world stirred. Inside, a soul woke up.

The figure shifted. Every inch of her being felt heavy, groggy, stiff. Through her torso throbbed a dull pain. Two pains and the tightness of skin. Her head swam for a moment and then a pair of sharp green eyes opened. They blinked before exploring.

A set of long fingers searched up to a pale throat and found it smooth and whole. Her hand moved down to her hipbone and found a layer of padding under the sheets. Under her ribcage was the same thing. With a confused expression, the patient ventured toward her centre.

Her features changed as she found the skin under her sternum. The whole place where a hole had been. She sat up quickly and felt the pulling of stitches on unhealed wounds.

Her mind reeled pictures of what had happened. She remembered vividly. Falling, falling, falling. Her throat had been slit. Her body had been damaged. She had lain on earth and asked not to die. Now she was in hell.

The girl turned her head to take in her environment. Her eyes caught the mirror across the room and they searched her face frantically. Her hands went up to her cheekbones and looked for something that should be there but wasn't. Her mask. Her mask was gone.

Inside, the Novena Espada pressed against the confines of a human body. Inside, the Novena Espada was still alive; but it was trapped. Kira Sato felt a desperation growing inside of her. It clawed through her being. The body was tight and uncomfortable and her reiatsu was crashing against it like the ocean crash against rocks would during a storm. The body. The human body.

Her sight was not so clear, her sense of smell dull, her hearing less than sharp. Everything was human. But it wasn't. It was a shell, it was a cage. It frightened her. She couldn't get out. She couldn't get out.

She tried. She tried very hard. And nothing. It felt as if she would burst at the seems from the pressure, but they never gave way.

The girl ran her fingers through her hair as her breathing rate increased. Nothing made sense. She had woken up to a nightmare and nothing made sense. Nothing was in place. Nothing felt right. It was confusing. Frightening. Desperate.

The beeping monitor climbed as her heart-rate did and the door to the room opened to reveal a friendly face. It was a juxtaposition.

"Miss? Are you alright? You shouldn't be sitting up just yet." The woman was nice. Human.

The woman could see her. The woman could see her and she wasn't cowering in fear. Internally, Kira Sato was trying to get a grip on herself and her situation. Internally, she couldn't quite find that footing. Her entire life was spiralling out of control with every new revelation.

The woman approached. She was wearing white with a red cross on her pocket. A medical sign. Kira felt the pain in her body and remembered waking up in a human hospital – but only for a minute. She thought it had been a bad dream or something she had imagined. Never in her entire life would could she have dreamed this situation. Never in her life could she had imagined something so cruel. Human medicine on a human body but an Espada soul and life. She wasn't in Hueco Mundo. Her body was not that of an Arrancar but her soul and every other inch of her was. Completely pure in its remembrance of the word and existence of Espada. Kira Sato, Novena Espada was alive. She was struggling. She was trapped.

The nurse stood by with a worried expression. "The doctor is on his way. We didn't expect you to wake up so soon."

Kira brought her gaze right onto the woman's. She was still breathing unsteadily.

The little nurse started for a minute. The window to the soul. A pair of frank green eyes caught her off guard. They held something that no human could ever dream or imagine. Something that humanity could not comprehend.

The patient was a young woman of around 17 or 18 with long dark hair that spilled down her back and framed her face. Her skin was the pale; as if it had rarely seen the sun, and her physical form suggested a life of activity. She had appeared on the doorstep to the hospital, bleeding and dying at a quick pace. She had woken up for a moment in the ER, but had said nothing. Since then, she had been asleep. Liquids and blood were fed to her body through tubes. Little pieces of string held her stab wounds together.

Rumours went hither and thither to work out where she was from. The tattoo on her shoulder suggested maybe gang violence. Her lack of ID, wallet or phone suggested a mugging. Nothing made sense. She should be in school. Maybe a family would list someone missing.

Kira discovered no reminder, no comfort in what she was. All she found was a damaged body and a roaring reiatsu. Everything hurt. It all hurt. From her core to her fingertips. Body and soul. It ached.

The girl noticed that her hand was shaking slightly. She noticed that she was losing control. Like a human, she was losing control. The Novena Espada fought to quiet herself, but the situation would not have it. She could not settle. For the first time in her entire life she was truly afraid.

Her breath became shallower, uneven and then gasped. She clutched the paper gown she wore and stared frantically at the room like a hare caught in a car light. She wanted to scream but her throat was closed. Her mind reeled and sent sparks flying as it tried to hit the breaks and work out where it was.

Nothing like it should have been. Everything was drenched in shock and confusion, anger and horror.

Kira Sato bent over her torso to ease the pain oozing from her stomach. It burned. It ached. From the tips of her fingers to the middle of her soul; it hurt. The girl cried out just once. It was a sound that contained the lonely and the lost. Her arms wrapped around her body.

They should have let her die. They should have cleansed her soul and sent her to Soul Society. They should have killed her.

Instead, they had sent her to hell.

* * *

_For this story we're going to assume that the whole fight with Aizen hasnt happened yet. I know that doesnt run with the story; think of it as cutting the events with Karakura Town and moving them back a bit. I do plan to include them, but this story doesnt work with the events that the Manga is exploring right now. Dont worry - they will be part of the story. Eventually._

_Constructive criticism and reviews are very, very much appreciated and I will try my best to reply to all of them._

_- P._


	3. Chapter 1

"There are four questions of value in life; What is sacred? Of what is the spirit made? What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for? The answer to each is the same."

(_Don Juan deMarco, Johnny Depp)_

**Chapter 1**

**

* * *

**

It was quiet. Still. The world seemed calm. The world kept spinning. The sun kept rising and the moon kept returning.

Kira Sato preferred the moon of the real world. It let her know that time was passing and that she wasn't stagnant. It let her know that progression was possible. It reminded her of herself.

The girl stood alone on a vast balcony. The smell of salt wafted up on a navy-blue breeze and the sound of crashing filled the background. In the distance was a shimmering silver; the night was dancing on water. The figure had her arms crossed over her body. She stared out at the ocean and watched in complete silence.

Home was a long way away. Home was a place she had never been.

The Novena Espada remembered vividly what had happened to her a month prior. She had cast off her ties with Aizen, attacked her own team and lost. The pain of having her throat slit was engraved into her memory and the acknowledgement of death that had gripped her would forever be something she knew. And yet...

Kira raised her fingers to the skin of her neck and felt it smooth and untarnished. The rest of her was not so whole and clean. Her torso had taken two massive blows. Her body, her human body, was still repairing.

Her human body.

A fake body.

She was Kira Sato, Novena Espada. She was not human. Yet she was trapped. Captured. Stuck. Like a tiger pacing behind the bars of a small circus cage. It felt like she was being watched. Like she was alone. Like nothing made sense at all; everything was just out of her reach. Everything was human.

The body was tight and uncomfortable. Her reiatsu ripped at its interior wall, fighting to escape. Her exterior remained placid and silent. Inside, everything was screaming. The difference was so great. The level of strength, resolve, awareness; everything was opposite. It hurt every minute of every day. She forgot how to sleep and nearly remembered what it was like to just lay still and rest, even if just for a moment.

The strain on her mind didn't let her sleep, her body didn't heal quickly and her world was somewhere she couldn't get to. Not that she had plans of returning. Hueco Mundo, Las Noches, the world of the Hollow. That universe, that place had been her place of development. Now that Aizen had cast his pawns aside and proved that he could have won the game on his own, without them, Kira wanted nothing to do with that world. She had finished there. All that was left in that place was sand and the empty rooms of the Espada. They were gone.

Every single one.

Kira had thought of Grimmjow as she lay in the bed of an unknown hospital. The doctors and nurses and other humans had been seeing her and speaking to her and trying to fix her; she had been thinking of deeper things. The situation was not hard to explain – the girl was stuck in a human body in the human world. How was another matter all together. Grimmjow on the other hand, the fight above Karakura Town, and the outcome of the war...Kira knew nothing. The Substitute, Aizen, the Shinigami, Grimmjow...they could all be dead. They could all be alive.

Grimmjow had been alive the last time she had seen him. Hopefully he still was. Hopefully she would run into him again; without looking, without trying. They seemed to run parallel to each other. They were both solitary, but being alone with someone else is better than being lonely. His companionship had been like one you would find in the trenches of war. They had been through so much individually on a common level, they had both survived. They both shared time in a boring corridor, practicing and talking and annoying each other. Two people able to escape the other, but unable to find the complete desire to. They were two people. Two different people. They were friends. The sort that charged the enemy after a firm handshake and a quick thank you. The sort that made stupid, impossible promises.

The first night Kira had woken up in hospital had been difficult. She had been terrified and confused. Shocked beyond belief. It was a wake-up call to a nightmare. Every day since then had been hard. The girl had thought constantly about her situation. About what was keeping her. It was like a solid force was wrapped around her soul; her original being. Like a binding spell.

Only Shinigami used binding spells. Only Shinigami used faux bodies. The Arrancar never needed to survive in the Human World; they would or they wouldn't. However, like the Shinigami, they possessed distinctly human traits like emotion, hunger and physical pain. They were all people. All of them. Maybe.

Kira exhaled slowly and blinked out of though. The now-scar tissue on her torso was difficult to move with. There was a jagged line reaching from her hip-bone up to her belly-button and another just below the slope of her ribcage; right near her Hole. A space that was filled. The girl ran her fingers through her hair and turned away from the ocean. The new sight that confronted her was both depressing and slightly comforting; a reminder of where she was and of what she needed to do. It was a starting block for a race she had not entered.

Where Kira was, was a rehabilitation centre for patients recovering from serious injury. Not that her injuries required her to be there per say, but because the doctors and nurses had realised that she had nowhere else to go and/or that her situation had no other alternative. She had given no contact details, no next of kin, no home address. Nothing. She didn't even say what happened to damage her so badly; she didn't tell. All Kira had given was her name. She had confirmed an age a doctor threw at her; it wasn't her real age by far, but the girl didn't know what that was anyway.

Kira was, to them, the humans, a girl that had appeared nearby, bleeding and dying; someone who had no home, friends or family. In fact, those things seemed to confuse her. The initial prognosis was amnesia. They stuck with that for lack of alternative.

What Kira needed to do was something that concerned no human. No human except one. Kurosaki Ichigo. He knew Shinigami who knew how to work a faux body and retract binding spells. Kira had a devastating desire to find out what had happened that day over Karakura Town and a desperate need to get out of the human body. It was weak. The sight wasn't sharp, the hearing wasn't clear, the smell wasn't distinct and touch wasn't attentive. It wasn't right for an Espada. It wasn't right for a non-human.

They should have killed her or healed her fully – not stuck her senses to hardware it couldn't work with. It was like auto-immune disease; her body wanted to attack itself. It wanted freedom so badly.

There were not a lot of people at the particular centre Kira was at. If one could call it a centre. It was really just a big house with an ocean view. There were five others; none of which the girl had ever spoken to. Kira only spoke to nurses and doctors; people who could fix her. Human World medication was slow and painful and left scars.

The Real World was a nightmare in waking.

Kira entered the house via the kitchen and was greeted by a warm face.

"Sato-san!" A middle aged woman said, looking up from a newly brewed tea-pot. "Did you enjoy your walk?"

The girl looked at the woman. She was probably ten times older than the human. Kira simply nodded. She was treated like an equal when she had always been an elite. Things had changed. Physicality turned out to be more powerful than anyone ever imagined.

"Are you hungry?" The woman's name was Laura. She was a missionary. Or something. Kira didn't actually know what that was.

"No." Came the dense reply. "I am not."

Laura leant on the kitchen bench and looked at the young woman as she passed through. The newcomer was tall and lean. Her hair, straight and dark, hung down her back in an elegant sort of way. Her expression was always ordered and controlled.

The girl had been sent from Tokyo General Hospital. She'd had to ask where that was; Tokyo, not the hospital. Television, radios and phones were all a little confusing. She knew how to use them; she just never really knew why one would. The keepers at the house had to make sure she didn't exercise- a difficult task. Their patient went running on the beach and returned with blood seeping through her shirt from where she had pulled her stitches open again. It was as if she didn't understand healing processes. She didn't. She didn't understand how humans worked. How they healed. How they lived.

Sleep was something Kira didn't get and it was hindering her. The circles under her eyes were like faint bruises and she found her thought slow and groggy constantly. It was difficult. When the girl relaxed, she lost grip of her reiatsu and it tore at her from the inside. It ripped her apart and brought her back violently.

Laura was only a volunteer, but the head matron of the house had often spoken, in a low voice, of the times she had been woken to the sound of muffled distress from Kira Sato's bedroom. The girl had nightmares often. She never spoke of them. She never screamed. She just struggled.

No one knew the reality of her situation. Kira didn't even know the full reality of her situation – it was impossible to grasp. It kept her up, it made her tired, it didn't let her heal, it trapped her and tortured her and insisted she keep sane.

The middle-aged woman put a hand on Kira's arm as she moved past.

The girl stopped quite suddenly and kept her gaze straight ahead.

"Sato-san, do you need to talk about something?"  
"No." Kira turned her eyes to the woman's.

Laura reacted by blinking. The girl's eyes were frank and sharp and a little unnerving. "Are you sure?"  
"I'm sure." Came the steady reply. "I'm going to my room."  
"Okay..." The woman gained her senses after losing them momentarily. The person in-front of her was bizarre and the world she surrounded herself with was just the same. It made no sense.

Not to the Real World, not to Kira Sato herself.

Everything was wrong.

Everything hurt.

Everything was out of place – even her soul.

What do you do in that situation?

What can you do?

Kira Sato did what she had always done. Every day. Every single day of her life. Her life. Her own. She did what kept it going. She survived. This was not her life. This was her soul in the wrong place. This was wrong.

Kira was fast losing her ability to tread water. Denial wasn't a river, it was an ocean. One that even the most able, capable, person could not fight for long. If the spirit was strong and the body was not then the spirit would pass on. It would be renewed and born again. Kira didn't want that. Not one bit. She had worked with everything she was to achieve what she had – to find herself. She had worked so hard and had it stripped away.

She would drown. Soon.

Kira Sato found herself on the beach frequently in the days that consumed her like a sultry tide. The house she found herself in was a traditionally built pile with big windows, private balconies and the bleary smell of medical equipment. It was so...human. The rooms in Las Noches had been there for a reason; the only reason for the place the Espada found herself in was to keep the weak going and put them back on their shelf. It was a place to repair. In Hueco Mundo, you repaired quickly or you died. But she wasn't in Hueco Mundo anymore. Not even close.

Kira found she couldn't even wish herself back there. No one would. But she would never wish anyone or anything into the situation she was in. Every minute of every day she expected to wake up and go about daily life. So much so that she rarely sought sleep. Kira was tired. She was in pain. She was wounded. She was weak. Constantly. Humans were constantly weak, fragile, soft. Their skin broke so easily. Their minds gave in so readily. Their senses were so dull it was a surprise that they could even function. It was like falling from grace. Kira had fallen and landed in a place worse than any imagination could comprehend.

To be trapped while free. To be whole while healing. To be powerful while weak. Everything was a juxtaposition. Everything was unknown.

The girl sat on the sand of the beach behind the rehabilitation house and stared at the waves. The sky was grey, the water was grey, the sand was a light tan colour. It was a little like being in Hueco Mundo. It was like forgetting.

Kira inhaled slowly and closed her eyes as a pre-storm breeze whipped through her hair. She wore it out more now. She didn't know why. The girl had woken up with it down and had never really found the need to pull it up again. It tickled her face as the wind lessened again and played in another patch of beach. Kira ran her fingers through it and pushed it back off her face.

"Sato-san?" A small voice carried over the girl's shoulder.

"Hai?" Kira replied deftly, her tone disinterested and un-emotive.

"A big storm is coming, you should come inside." A woman's voice. Laura's voice.

The girl turned her neck to take in the intruder. She was wearing a loose fitting cardigan and clutching it to herself as the wind picked up again. The woman had auburn hair and wrinkles around her eyes. She was smiling.

Kira looked back at the sea. It was angry and restless. She knew the feeling. She wanted to walk into the water and let it take her away. But that would be giving up. That would be breaking her promise.

"Hai." The girl agreed with the need to go indoors and stood from the sand.

Kira was wearing a thick strapped black singlet over a pair of light blue jeans. As she moved, her hair shifted off her right shoulder and blew to the left, revealing the inked skin.

"Sato-san, you never did tell me what the tattoo was for?" Laura enquired as the girl reached her.

"It's important." Was the steady reply.

"Is it for a team?"  
"No." Far from it.  
With that, the girl nodded once, ending the conversation, and separated her path from the woman's. They were still a hundred meters or so from the house, but Kira had no desire to discuss her past with someone who could neither comprehend nor understand it.

Her's was fast becoming a lonely existence, that in the human world. It was just as solitary as Hueco Mundo, but there was no understanding, no comparison, no empathy, sympathy or similarity with anything. Elite was a different classification and surviving was a different mechanism.

There were millions more faces in the Real World, but Kira had never felt so alone. She hadn't felt that for a long time. A very long time. It had been below the sands of Hueco Mundo when the feeling had gripped her last. Above the sands, everything changed. It became harder, but there had been something. Someone. Never there for her, never a constant companion, never a partner or a pair; just there. Same world, same existence, same desire. Friend.

Now, nothing.

Nothing at all. Just the angry sea, the bitter wind and the tearful sky. That was it. That was all that was left. Kira felt herself fading away, she felt herself drowning at sea.

The storm hit with limited mercy. It whipped water at windows, blew light through the clouds and rumbled threats with no teeth. Limited. Everything was so limited.

Kira Sato in the middle of her bed and marvelled at the storm. At how something so immortal could pretend to be mortal. How power could pass over so simply. She had never been in a true storm before, and now that she had, she felt like she had lost something she hadn't quite possessed to begin with. It felt so human to be thrilled by such a partial force. And it did thrill her. It tingled chilly down her spine.

The world of never-ending night had been limitless. You could be as free as you wanted. Go where you chose. Be who you wanted to be. Lived like only you could and survived for that right. The future had loomed ahead constantly. Waiting. Saying 'take it, I'm yours'. And they would chase it, smiling. There was nothing evil or dark about it; it was the same thing everyone went for. That unsaid, unheard, untasted fruit of humanity that defined every person - freedom.

Now there was no such thing. Kira couldn't even stretch out her hand to reach for help. She would just have to stumble through her plans, tired, wounded, trapped and hungry. The Novena Espada had been part of an elite group. The top. The best. The hard workers, the survivors and in some respects, the comrades.

Kira Sato had shot for the top. She had been smaller than the rest, weaker, even slower. But she had been determined. She had been willing. She had grown, become stronger and ran faster. She evolved. Flew. It had been exhilarating. Kira had been so alive. She was on the trail of life itself, seeking the reward. And then it had all gone to the dogs and that which she had never seen, but knew so intimately, shattered into unrecognisable pieces.

_I shot for the sky, I'm stuck on the ground  
So why do I try, I know I'm gonna to fall down  
I thought I could fly, so why did I drown?  
Never know why it's coming down, down, down.  
Oh I am going down, down, down  
Can't find another way around  
And I don't want to hear the sound of losing what I never found._

_(Jason Walker, Down)_

Grimmjow Jeagerjaques was sitting alone in the dark, brooding. Across from where he sat perched a bookcase. It hovered there with its relics. Books that would probably never be read again by their owner. She had never come back.

Not to her room. Not to her world. Not to her friend.

The man noticed that, balancing on corner of the girl's bed was a white piece of paper. It almost disappeared against the sheets. It had been there since the day he had first left the infirmary. Not once had he touched it. Not once had he felt the need to.

Yet, on that day, he picked it up. It was a letter.

It was not addressed to him.

"_Kurosaki Ichigo, _

_I'm not surprised that not everything lasts. There's more to living than being alive. I've been here for a very, very long time and I never really thought about whether or not I liked it or not. When I met you, you triggered something in me. Your power is so similar to mine, but people accept you. You don't attack the people you live with to survive. You live a beautiful life and you live with a power that is just like mine. I can't help that this is me. I can't help that this is how I look. Why is it so wrong for white people to hate black people, but it's okay for Shinigami souls to hate Arrancar souls? _

_I'm going to be able to defeat Gin, but I'm going to try. Trying is better than accepting something you hate. I hated you once. I really did. You frightened me. You have everything that I had to live without. Is there one thing that I possess, any life experience that I have had, any object, ability...whatever, is there any part of me you would feel jealous of? _

_The only difference between my soul and yours, Shinigami, is that you were born somewhere pretty. You had the opportunities, the family, the friends. You had it all. What would you do in my position? Would you do as I have done? Would you die trying to make your life different? I read somewhere that 'It's better to fight on your feet than live on your knees'. So, I got up off my knees, I stopped bowing to a man I didn't worship or follow and I went after what I wanted. I still don't know what that was, but I went for it. I want a life that is mine. Doesn't that make me more human than you? Don't my powers echo yours? I can't help that I am what I am, but I can make the most of it. I can make promises and keep them. I can make friends and keep them. But, today I learnt that, even if I give my word on something it doesn't mean that I'll be able to keep it. _

_Goodbye, Kurosaki. Next time you see Grimmjow, and you will, tell him that I tried._

_Kira Sato, Novena Espada."_

"Csh." Grimmjow tossed the letter aside.

She had written it before she had left that last time. She had known she would not come back. She had known that she would die. It was not suicide, it was acceptance. Nothing was going to stop Kira Sato going after her own freedom, going after Aizen. Nothing was going to stop her. She had thought it out, known she would have to face one of her enemy's subordinates and known she didn't have much of a chance.

It hadn't scared her. But it seemed that she had been sad. She had seemed lonely. She mentioned her friend only once, but it was more than he'd ever mentioned her. He probably never would. Not out loud, not with definite words. It just wasn't him.

Grimmjow didn't even know why he was in Hueco Mundo. No one had summoned him. No one moved through the hallways. Nothing happened. It was silent. He didn't care.

Kira had gone to Gin prepared to die. Prepared to go down having achieved her goal; a realisation of self and freedom. Now, in the desperation to keep that life going, she had died. Really died.

Kira Sato began to consider herself gone. That letter she had penned before leaving was real. Every second that passed was darker than the one before. Every moment was slipping away. Every effort. It was all going away. Disappearing through her fingers.

She craved freedom now. She had left to be free of Aizen . Now she was more bound than she had ever been…or maybe she was just aware of it this time.  
Still, she couldn't get out.

A strange feeling came over the girl. A peculiar want. She wanted to cry but knew not how.

Grimmjow would have smacked her over the head. But he wasn't there. He had always been there, not for her, but he'd been there. The silence wasn't so bad if it was created by him. Now he created his own in the egg-shell halls of Las Noches.

If Aizen was around, if Aizen had survived, then he wasn't doing anything to call the last Espada forward. The last Espada. The Sexta. This made him proud. It made him happy. It stung him briefly with solitude. But that's how it had always been.

To hell with it all. All he had to do was survive. He had to survive to find Kurosaki.

Kurosaki Ichigo.

The Shinigami had mail.

Kira woke up sharply after a new dream. It wasn't the usual one. She hadn't been falling, she hadn't been drowning and she hadn't come out of it gasping. It had been soft at first and then blinding. It shocked her, held her paralysed and then left her.

She came back to herself all alone and cold. It was supposed to be summer, but she was cold. Inside, she was freezing.

The girl sat up and put her palm on her forehead, as if that would help. She exhaled, closing her eyes. The curtains near her window fluttered and she slid out of bed to them. The moon was high and full and so unfamiliar. This moon changed. It moved. It was dictated by time and space and it created both just by existing.

This moon had a purpose. But it was just as lonely as the moon in Hueco Mundo. Maybe its why the Espada lived indoors, trained under an artificial sun and within empty halls. The deathly quite made them aware of what they were – stagnant. They had reached a point of optimum evolution. There was no more up and the fall was very, very far.

Kira felt herself slipping over the edge. It had been a month. A month without running, training, fighting, hunting. A month in a vulnerable, breakable, human body. Her tattoo never faded.

The girl ran her fingers over her shoulder and let them sit on the edge of the ink. She held her other arm around her waist, gripping the fabric of a plain black t-shirt. The humans had given her clothes. Pale jeans, basic shirts, singlets and the like, shoes that were flat and dainty and worn by every other girl her age – apparently. Kira wore long white pants to bed. It was the only familiarity. White.

The girl closed her eyes, the green vanishing into darkness. She stood in the breeze from the window. It rested on her lips, making them taste like salt.

When the Novena opened her eyes all she saw were the sky and the moon. Not the sea, not the trees below. She was on a second story and she had not once thought of casting herself out of it. The cliffs above the water though, they were friendly.

Her fingers continued to tingle with the pressure of her reiatsu. It must be a suppression body, she would tell herself, it must be. Nothing else could hold her back and still let her be her. Even though that was a juxtaposition.

It took her sleep, it took her rest, it took her life. The Shinigami were cruel. It was so, so…cruel.

Kira wandered back to bed and slid beneath the covers. She closed her eyes again and lay very still, pretending to be asleep. It was better than knowing that she wouldn't. She thought she could fly, and now she was going to drown.

One by one, one by one, one by one. The Espada fell. There were two left. One losing what she never found, the other going on as if life were the same. It was for him, maybe. It wouldn't be the same. Nothing would be the same; but he would. Decades later, he hadn't changed.

Kira smiled softly at the thought. It was nice to know that something was constant out there. It was nice to know that she'd had a chance to spend time with him.

She remembered vividly the feeling of his blood seeping through the back of her jacket. He'd blooded her and bled on her. She hadn't needed him, but sometimes it the things we don't need that make all the difference.

It had been good. So good. They kept finding each other and through it, they knew each other. It wasn't voluntary, but no one objected, really. They had been travellers, vague companions, comrades and then friends. It had taken a hundred or so years, but it had been natural. It had never been enemies, oppositions, traitors and rivals, though there had been threats and fights.

Nothing romantic, just two souls finding each other. Somehow. He probably didn't think of it that way, but he probably didn't think of it at all.

The girl felt strangely sad. It was like she missed him in a way that meant she'd never see him again. The pleasantness of familiarity fled, leaving her cold again.

It is better to be alone with someone than fighting with nothing in sight.

* * *

Constructive Criticism is more than welcome. Reader reviews are very important to me and I will do my best to reply to every one.

So, I apologise for any errors in advance and I hope they were not too annoying. I find I cant lay my stories out as I used to and I'm trying to find a new way to set out new paragraphs and segments of the story. Every little dash I put in ends up dissapearing and if anything gets put in bold, then everything else does it to. So, please hang tight until I get a handle on the changes.

Blessings,

-P.

P.S) I hope you're watching the World Cup. :)


	4. Chapter 2

_"__Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength._"

_-August Wilson_

**Chapter 2**

**

* * *

**Walls moved inward and inward, walking forward, moving closer. They didn't stop sliding towards one another. They formed a box, those four walls, and then the box began to shrink. It came closer and closer and closer and the door got smaller and smaller and smaller. It was the size of a sleepy breath and then it vanished. The walls kept coming and the roof began to crumble.

The feeling of suffocation engulfed Kira Sato. She was very aware of a few things. The night. And the pressure against her soul. It was painful. It was desperate. It clawed at her and screamed silently from inside. It couldn't escape. It couldn't get out. It had never felt like this before. Never anything like this.

This world, this place, this sensation; this was wrong. All of it wrong. This was cruel. She felt as if she had died and been put in a grave before her time. She wasn't ready. She had to get out. There was no other option.

It had been a long time. Too long. She had been stagnant for too long. In her world, she'd be dead and replaced before a week of inactivity was out. Kira had been hiding. She was scared. Scared of what was really going on.

She knew one thing though. She had to get out. The weight in her fingertips and the sleepless nights; this wasn't who she was. This was not who she had survived to become. And she shouldn't have survived. From an evolutionary standpoint, she shouldn't even have made it to become an Arrancar.

She wasn't strong, she didn't have a great level of endurance and she was smaller than the rest. An easy meal. She'd had to become quick, accurate. She'd wanted to live so much that she refused to die. Under the sand, Kira had battled and battled, getting torn open and tearing others open until she advanced through to the surface. There it got harder.

The Novena hadn't been able to take down anything bigger than her at that level. She'd had to learn though. The hard way. It was there that she learnt her own tactics. Quick killing was the only way that worked; she'd get tired otherwise and die. It was amazing that she'd made it so far.

And then there was Las Noches, where individuality counted as a weakness and a strength. Where freedom was the extent of your ability.

Kira squeezed her eyes shut as anxiety climbed her throat. She'd survived. She was there. She got her tattoo. Her form. Her sword. And now…she was stuck and alone.

This wasn't her. She was trapped. This was a human who looked like her. Arrancar don't fade after a day. She was an Espada. An Espada. The Ninth most powerful in Hueco Mundo. That meant something. But right now, it meant bugger all.

Shit.

She wanted to hit something. Hard.

She knew what had happened. Or so she thought. She was bound and immobile in an unbound and mobile body. Sort-of. They were her injuries, her facial features, her emotions. It was her. So her. But it wasn't.

It needed to make sense. Kira had broken free from Las Noches only to fall into another cage. One she couldn't even see or fight against. It needed to make sense. It needed a Shinigami. She needed out. Desperately. So much so that every inch of her faux body tingled with it.

They should have just killed her.

_A young Arrancar wandered through an empty building. She was on a mission in the Real World. It wasn't often that she got to go outside of Las Noches except to hunt. It felt nice to be in a space that wasn't either closer or endless. _

_It was a circle and it just kept spinning round and round. _

_The future Novena Espada knew that she would find more for herself than egg-shell white and sand. She'd always known that there had to be more than contentment. _

_Aizen had given them something to do and now she did it because there was nothing else. Because she didn't know anything else. Because she hadn't discovered anything else. _

_Kira Sato walked into a dark room. She could feel its size and emptiness in a breath. She could see its walls, high and lined with books. A room of books. Hundreds upon hundreds of them. The girl stared at the spines of stories in a moment of wonder. _

_Each page had something different on it. She knew about books and she knew about stories, but she didn't know that there could be so many. _

_The first book she ever held was called 'Schindler's Arc'. It had a woven black cover with gold writing and it was the first beautiful thing she'd ever touched. That's probably why she took it. The room belonged to no one now. Not after she had finished with the building. _

_She only took one book because one was all she needed. No one knew about her find until weeks later when she had put the thick pages down and left them alone in her room. _

_"What's this shit?" _

_"It's a book." She was a little annoyed that her room had been violated. But it wasn't the first time. "It's about Jews."_

_"What's a Jew?" The pages got a cursory flick-through. _

_"Jew's are a people group that were killed off for being Jewish. A man called Schindler saved them because they couldn't save themselves anymore." The woman watched as the book was scrutinised. _

_"Uhuh."  
She reached out and took it away from the abuse she saw it receiving."The Jew's weren't weaker than anyone else, they were just in a situation that they couldn't help and someone happened to get the upper hand over them." Pause. "It was quite brutal." _

_"It's just a story."_

_"Yeah."_

_"You just look all pathetic and weak-minded about it."  
"You should read it." The suggestion seemed dangerous, but it would be alright.  
"Like hell I'll read it."_

_Her first book was her first insight into the ugliness that was the world. Not her world. Kira was thankful for her endless sand now. No one got killed simply for being what they were. They got killed simply because it was not enough and because someone else had to be. _

_Then again, it was just a story. _

Time never really used to matter. It had never really been there like they had. It had never been measured because it had always been dark. Time was gauged with emotion, boredom and success.

Now, time was told by the sun, the world and complete reality.

Kira felt herself flitting into and out of the day. She could feel heat and cold and shivers and she could feel herself walking towards a point where fighting anymore had no point. She was tired of fighting.

Not fighting for her life or for survival; she would always do that. But fighting toward the knowledge that things would get better. It had been a month the first she had ever known. And it was hurting her badly. As time passed, the theory that she would learn to cope failed. She wasn't coping and she didn't know how to get away.

She had to get to Kurosaki Ichigo. She had to get out of the body. She had to get to herself once again.

Kira clenched her teeth. She was so ashamed about having begged for her life. In one moment, they could have sent her off to Soul Society. It had only taken a moment to send her plummeting to earth, blood filling her throat, her mouth and the pores in her skin.

Sometimes that's all it took; one moment. That's all it took to end a life, start a life, change a life. An entire eternity balanced on a moment. A breath. A word. A single act. Life came down to a high-wire for everyone.

You either fell or prayed someone would catch you.

Sometimes you had to catch yourself.

Kira Sato moved through the house she had been dying in restlessly. It was late. Everyone else was asleep. She was dressed, awake, frustrated. Desperate. It clawed at her legs like a needy child. She just wanted to run.

Run away from that place. Run away from her nightmare.

But she couldn't run. Not as she was. Not like she had. She would get to Kurosaki and Karakura Town. She would get there. She had to keep moving or she would lay down and not move again.

The girl opened the door to the office that say beside the rehabilitation unit's foyer. Inside hung a block of wood that housed a variety of keys. She knew which one she wanted. The black car. The one that belonged to the on site psychiatrist and her beady little eyes.

It had been a month. A whole month too long.

She was going to run. And then she could lie down and go to sleep.

_Sand. Endless sand. All directions. All winds. All nights. Always night. Just sand, the moon and some sticks. That was her existence at that point. _

_A lean figure lay on a ridged flat. She had a deep chest and a flimsy waist. Long legs, lengthy tail, delicate feet. The markings on her face made it look like she had cried endlessly over something, but the truth was that she'd never even thought to shed a tear. Some people may look at the same lines and say that they resembled the way Spartan helmets protected the cheeks of warriors. Some people might even say that it looked like a Cheetah, though she had no spots to prove it. _

_The __Adjucha tapped her tail on the sand listlessly as she watched her surrounds. They were constantly changing, but they constantly looked the same. _

_A low growl made her glance over her shoulder. A deep set male lay nearby. He rested in a ready position. He was annoyed with her. It wasn't unusual, but they kept with each other. Why? They would say that they didn't know, say that the other kept appearing, say that they just always ended up near each other; and they'd say it all listlessly, bitterly or offhandedly. Truth was that they were both lonely in their own ways and that they felt satiated together. _

_"What?" Kira asked to the overcast figure. _

_"Can't you ever just lie down and not think?" His chest rumbled. _

_"Just compensating for you."_

_"Don't fuck with me." _

_"You? No." She put her head down on her fore-feet, her back to the future sixth. "Have you ever wanted to just stop trying this game?"  
"You're full of shit."  
Silence. "Me neither."_

_Grimmjow stared at her back. Her tail still thud, thud, thudded into the sand. She was restless. Most days he wanted to walk away from her. She never followed him and he never followed her. Yet, when they moved they moved the same way. They seemed to be after the same thing. She was just more female about it. _

_"Something is out there." Pause. "Can you feel it?" Kira lifted her head again, her ears pricked forward. _

_"Go to effing sleep."_

_She stood up instead and stared across the distance of Hueco Mundo. "Don't be disinterested just yet. You'll leave this place one day. When you're really that bored with it." _

_Grimmjow didn't reply. He just glanced angrily at her. _

_The female's posture was straight and long. Anything with a force could knock her over; if it hit her and if she didn't hit it first. It was so touch and go with her. The only reason she hadn't broken yet was because she'd made sure to fall on softer ground. The day she discovered stone may just be her end. She shouldn't even be on top of the sands. She should have died long ago. Maybe her identity was too much for that. _

_Grimmjow shifted onto his side, his back now to the woman. The scene he now saw was the same as the one she stood in front of. _

_Kira stared at her view for a while, not worried, just thinking. Something had changed in Hueco Mundo. Things were changing for them. Something was coming. Her purpose was to find out what it was. Then, to find out what her new purpose was. _

_The feline figure relaxed away from thought and wandered a few steps before lying down. _

_He faced one direction. _

_She faced the other. _

_They weren't watching each others backs. Just the views that the other couldn't see. _

The sound of an engine roaring broke through the light of early evening.

Kira Sato stared out the front windscreen of the car she was seated in. Her hands gripped the wheel tightly. The speed and the control were the closest she'd gotten to her true self in months. It felt nice.

If she closed her eyes, she could imagine the pressure away. The pain. The scars. She could imagine she was anywhere but where she was and anywhere but Las Noches.

Kira had left the rehabilitation centre. She had been locked away for too long, taking her own situation and placing it on one she could easily escape. As easily as sliding the psychiatrists car-keys into her pocket as she left his office.

The girl had been going mad. She was tired. Exhausted. In pain. Alone. And she had to sort it out. If this had been Hueco Mundo, she'd be replaced and dead. She was the Novena. The Novena Espada and hell, she was going to get herself back even if it meant driving a car into Kurosaki Ichigo's house.

Kira paused. A wave of shame pricking at her insides. She had begged the Shinigami to save her life. It was pathetic. And now, she had to beg again. It was enough to make her angrier at herself than she was at them.

The Espada swore and pushed the accelerator further down, spurring the car on.

Somewhere within Las Noches, power stirred. The throne room had not been empty. The halls had not been abandoned.

The Espada had been a group. They had cared if another of them had fallen and they didn't want to lose one of their own; it was like watching themselves fall. They were the ten elite. The best. Those who had been through everything that the other nine around them had been through, only with their own individual flair.

They were their own and they were part of the Espada. It became life.

It is not known when the original Espada were first brought together, but the theory was that they were in existence before Aizen's defection from Soul Society. Maybe he had brought them together, maybe they had done it themselves; but after he arrived in Las Noches permanently, they were not the same. A group functioning within a group. Membership and position became important.

Aizen had frequently sent the Espada out to search for the Vasto Lorde-class Menos. Maybe to accelerate their development. Maybe to just have them close. But most of the time, they came to him.

Kira had headed for Las Noches herself. Grimmjow too. Who knew how many others had gone to the castle and died on the way. It was a lifestyle.

A Garganta opened the sky above Karakura Town, unnoticed by its occupants. The reiatsu was faint or well hidden and the carrier was being careful.

A car continued to race down the highway, flying towards a similar destination. But cars don't run on spiritual energy, they run on fuel – a fading commodity. The engine light had been on for a while, Kira hadn't noticed. She didn't know what an engine light was. She didn't really care either. Anything that needed a light to let you know that it was dying was a little pathetic. There is no light in death, only hope or despair.

The girl started as the engine began to splutter. Or not so much splutter as faint and wake up suddenly before passing out convincingly. Kira smacked the steering wheel, as if that would help. She knew how to drive forward, turn and stop. She also knew that the big red sign beside the road meant petrol.

It had flashed a good mile or so behind her. Horns blared from passing cars. She started a pile-up.

"Shit." She opened the driver's door as the car rolled to a stop in the middle of the highway. No one else was around, but she would have stepped onto the tarmac anyway. Kira slammed the car shut. "Shit."

She was wearing a simple pair of jeans, a light black jacket over a cream shirt and a hair-tie. Her eyes searched up the road.  
The pressure of the faux body made her constantly aware, anxious, restless. Pissed off. It was hurting her and she wanted to rip it to shreds. She wanted to use Sonido and flash her way to Kurosaki's house. Rip his window out and force him to take her out of the body.

A human on a Shinigami? Like hell it would be. She was the Novena.

The girl pressed her forehead against the roll-bar of the car and breathed. It was unsteady. She felt like she should find a place she shouldn't get up from again. No one stopped to help her. People swore and hurtled past in their cars. The noise was intense.

Kira felt for the first time that she could collapse. That she didn't have to keep fighting today. She pressed her head against the side of the car and flattened her hand against the window. She was tired. It was her nature to fight until she died. No rest until then. You were immortal until someone or something broke into that immortality.

Dying from exhaustion, suffocation, starvation and loneliness; exposure essentially, was a pretty devastating way for an Espada to go. Her breath was restrained, her soul unfed, her society untouched. Maybe she would just vanish.

She would believe that. Death from exposure. It was very possible. Even for her.

Her knees felt like jelly. She'd stolen a car in her desperation. She'd hung out in someone's house for a long time, hoping she was still an Espada when she knew the truth. She was, she really was. But she didn't know why.

Kira pulled herself together as a truck rolled past. It was followed by a friend. Rumbling. Roaring. Like animals.

No. She steeled her expression and glared at the view down the road. She had to keep going.

No. Her chest dipped as her breath faltered. Even her soul ached. It hadn't hurt like it did since long before she'd broken through the sands of Las Noches. Since the other Hollow had tried to tear her apart.

Her mask was gone. There were bags under her eyes. Her skin was cold even though she felt a raging heat through her limbs. She breathed though parted, pale lips. Kira had never been good with long distances and this was turning into a marathon.

The girl exhaled shakily. The need to lie down and rest was overwhelming.

No. Kira shook her head vaguely and pressed her fingers to her eyes before opening them.

She'd never lie down to this. Like hell she'd ever lie down to something as pathetic and a weak as a human body and a Shinigami spell.

A car screamed past, blaring its horn.

Kira looked around the highway. Her eye caught something picked up by the passing car's headlights. She blinked at the latest piece of signage. She couldn't believe she hadn't noticed; 'Welcome to Karakura Town'.

Oh, the irony. It was like a kick in the pants.

The girl stared at the words as they vanished. She would never lie down to die. She'd have to be killed first.

It took her until midday to reach the main streets of Karakura Town. She didn't know where she was at any point. Just that she'd left a stolen car in the middle of the highway a few hours before. Chaos and collateral. The human world may not be fond of it, but they were used to it. Maybe more so than she was.

Kira found it hard to walk aimlessly, but she did have an aim. It was the reasons her legs kept working. The sky watched her with a dark expression. It had been getting angrier all day. Kira had only ever really seen blue sky, night sky and rain before. She knew what everything else was, she'd just never really experienced it.

That's the difference between life and living; experience.

But she'd experienced a lot more than anyone else would. A lot of death, a lot of pain and a lot of peace. If her life so far hadn't been worth it, she wouldn't be alive. Kira knew this. She knew it so well. Its why when she wanted more than anything to lie down and give up, she didn't.

And she hated herself for it at that point. Kira paused and put her hand on a telephone pole. It was dark.

The Novena looked around to see if she could identify everything. The last time she'd been to Karakura Town hadn't been there to sight-see. The time before that she had found Orihime's reiatsu and the time before that Kurosaki's. No buildings or roads or street signs. Just power and locality.

But Kira had identified one thing since entering the town. She could still sense small amounts of reiatsu. The town was buzzing with spiritual pressure, she knew that, and she could feel it faintly. It was like hearing a song in someone else's car. You double guessed until you knew.

Still, she couldn't find Kurosaki's reiatsu and every time she tried it was like she was going to explode. Like her seams were going to all rip apart.

Kira saw houses. All lined up like little blocks. Karakura Town was intact. Its residents were residing. They hadn't all been sucked up to create the King's Key. The Novena had her fingers crossed on Kurosaki being alive and seeing the town so alive gave her hope for that.

It made her wonder about Aizen.

The girl looked further down the street and found a patch of light. She wandered towards it and found a large, empty park. It looked lonely. She'd killed a soul in a park like this one not too long ago. Not something she was proud of. The Espada didn't need to consume souls anymore; they didn't need to get more powerful except on their own accord. But they could.

Kira put her hand around the chain of the swing-set and lowered herself into the wooden seat. Shingami found hollow in places like this. Maybe they would find her. Maybe Kurosaki was on the prowl. The sun was going down; things always happened at sunset. It was so mysterious. Beautifully the colour of life, death, breath and blood.

Nothing happened. Nothing as the sun vanished and the evening picked up the messy pieces. The girl had her forehead pressed against the chain of the swing, her eyes closed and her breath shallow. A slight sheen of sweat covered her face and her knuckles were white from her grip on the swing.

There was no moon that night. Just pin-prick stars. They stretched eternally. It was beautiful. Kira couldn't remember if there were stars in Las Noches.

The girl opened her eyes and wondered what she would do when she found Kurosaki. She couldn't force him to help her and she was above begging for it. She'd ask, and if she said no…

She didn't know what she could do. She was pathetic. Tired. Weak. Still, she was the Novena. She could feel it. It was hurting her to not be able to access her power. To have it destroying the body she was currently trapped in.

It was like a torture suit strapped permanently to what she knew she was.

Kira exhaled slowly. She then stiffened. A hot stream of air travelled down the back of her jacket. It was followed by a low growl. The girl could feel that there was something behind her, but its reiatsu didn't register through the mess that she currently was. But something in her picked up. Like an old lesson. Like a memory.  
The Novena turned her head slightly so that she could glance back. A large bulk stood behind her, its pointed, open mouth dripping. Teeth barred. White skin gleaming, armoured. There was a hole in its throat and a spike at the end of its tale, like a flexible spear. The Hollow had a stocky frame, but it would be able to use Sonido. It rumbled.

Kira knew that it could smell something in her. Something that didn't scare it back to Hueco Mundo. Something that made it think of her as prey. It could feel her reiatsu. She wasn't hidden. A Hollow had been drawn to her. This made the girl happy for a brief moment.

This happiness vanished as the Hollow swiped at her with its tail. Kira ducked under the blow and ended up on her stomach on the ground. She had to roll quickly to avoid being crushed from the follow-up blow.

"Shit." She breathed.

A basic level Hollow thought it could kill her. She really was in a pathetic state. Kira instinctively reached for her sword. She only found her hip-bone. She lifted her palm to release a Cero. Nothing happened.

"Back of." She said lowly, standing to the feet. The Hollow was still confused by her. She looked human but smelled of soul.

The animal growled and leapt at her. Kira stepped sideways as quickly as she could as she reached out to grab the beast. Her body was as big as its head and she fought to stay gripped to its foreleg. It was her tactic. Get close and end it. Attach to them so that they couldn't do anything but you could.

She couldn't do anything. Kira lost her grip as the Hollow shook itself. She rolled into a bush on the opposite side of the park. The skin on the balls of her hands rubbed away in the dirt and she received a cut on her arm from a wayward branch. A branch had cut her.

She'd once been able to stop a sword with her bare hands. Kira's heart sank as she realised how unable the human body was. Then she felt the adrenaline burning in her arms and legs. It was a familiar feeling. It had followed her entire life.

Without knowing any better, the girl grabbed a thick branch from the ground. It was weighty in her hands. She stood her ground until the Hollow came closer. It was sniffing the air curiously. More so than before.

It stretched its mouth towards the bleeding on the girls arm. It was interested in the break in her body. Kira knew that Hollow weren't interested in human blood and it made her wonder.

With a cry of effort, she swung her weapon hard at the animal and caught it just below the eye.

It reared up, snarling, before landing hard. The girl stumbled backward for a moment before swiping at the animal again. It took her branch in its teeth and bit down, breaking it easily. Kira didn't have a chance to react as the Hollow whipped its tail around and caught her in the side.

The Novena didn't flinch or cry out. She just took it, thinking that she could give it back and wondering why she hadn't. A searing pain wove through her side as her shoulders made impact with the ground and slowed her path through the dirt. She was bleeding from a heavy gash. The girl touched it. The blood smelt salty. It seeped through her clothes.

Kira growled angrily and stood up. The Hollow was sniffing again. It smelt for her side. A light-bulb went on in the Espada's head. It was a faux body. It was holding in her reiatsu. Maybe when it was broken, her power seeped out. It explained the slight hesitation in her attacker, though she was wounded and weaker than before.

Kira stood upright, waiting. She watched the animal move unsteadily as she swayed on her feet. It could smell what she was, but not well. She was powerful. Kira knew what the Hollow wanted. He wanted to evolve and he needed to eat other Hollow to do that.

The injury in her side ached terribly. It stretched far and carried the throb of brokenness through the girl's entire torso. The pain reached up to her collarbone. And it wasn't even hurt, just pissed.

Not good. At all. She would die a pathetic human if this went on for much longer.

_There is no feeling on earth like that of falling. There is a point where you lose control, even if you've not moved once or twisted, spiralled or cried out. It's like backwards drowning. Fast and filled with air. _

_But Kira wasn't. Her throat filled with thick, hot liquid. It tasted like bitter salt. Like defeat. She fell. _

_The girl hit the concrete at speed and broke right through. She was suddenly underwater, surrounded by silence. Not comfortable silence. It stretched in every direction, moving and waiting and watching. It filled every sense and it deafened her. Kira twisted in the water and saw redness wash up in-front of her face. Her throat. _

_Her throat. She put her hand to it and felt her fingers slide through the skin. The Novena felt physically ill. A sharp pain carried through her torso, ripping her open. And then it vanished. Another. Right below her ribcage. She cracked. And broke. _

_A pair of sly eyes laughed in front of her before vanishing. _

_Her side split open and soon the water was red. _

_Thub bub. Thub bub. Thub bub. _

_Kira pressed her hand to her chest. She felt it. Right there. Her heartbeat. For a moment she was peaceful. _

_Thub…bub. Thub…bub. Thub…bub. _

_Things slowed. _

_Thub. Thub. Bub. _

_The girl swam upwards, the need for air suddenly soaring through her body. She could feel her broken skin catching on the water. Up. Up. Her heartbeat slowed. _

_Thub. Bub. _

_Thub. _

_Nothing. Silence. Again. _

The Novena didn't notice the Shinigami landing near the entrance of the park. Their records indicated that two hollow were battling, one's power growing quite quickly.

Kurosaki was about to break them up when the Hollow roared and twisted. What was supposed to be another beast was a bleeding girl. She stood at the ready, waiting. When the animal lunged at her, leaping forward into the air. She threw herself at it, dropping to her back at the last moment.

The hot breath of the Hollow ran over Kira's face as it missed her by inches. She drove her feet up into its throat. Her shins took the brunt of the force and felt as if they would split. The girl gasped sharply. The Hollow growled and stepped back in shock.

Kira went to stand and found that she couldn't. She wanted to, with everything. But she couldn't. The girl's eye's darted around. Her hands, her feet, her arms, her legs…all of it felt heavy. Like it was weighted by leagues of water. Her chest felt like it was caving in. And she bled.

Not like this. The Novena felt cold. Not like this. Her eyes darted around, searching the Hollow for its next move. It's final move. Kira wanted to close her eyes but forced herself to watch.

So quick. Everything that was life or death happened in just a moment. One moment. And then it was gone. It was frightening. The girl gritted her teeth as the Hollow's tail came down at her again. The closer it got, the more desperate she felt. She was the Novena.

Kira inhaled sharply. Get up. Get up. Get up. It was all she could think. Get the hell up. Not like this. Never like this. Nothing.

And then.

There was a loud crack as the Hollow tail met its opposing force. "Csh."

The beast roared as its limb was ripped from its body. It howled in pain. Kira saw him. The white jacket. The arrogant ego. She could feel the quickly tempered reiatsu faintly. Grimmjow. The Novena felt every single piece of her screaming to move and not being able to.

"Yo, Brat, what's this shit?"

Kira's lips parted but no sound came out. A red glow filled the Sexta's palm and exploded into the Hollow. It was gone in a second. One second. So easy. So quick.

A voice. "OI!"

Kira blinked.

"OI! What are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing, Shinigami?" Grimmjow growled loudly.

The girl felt a rough hand haul her up by her collar. She came face to face with the Sexta Espada. He saw the lines under her eyes, the translucent tone of her skin, the paleness of her lips.

"You're pathetic." He hissed.

Kira smiled softly. It took everything she had. Blood dripped off her torn jacket, letting it seep down to the ground.

Grimmjow eyed her. He could feel her, smell her, through the crack in her body. But that was all. Just a little beam of sunlight. It's not much use against a whole world. With a harsh exhalation, the man thrust his hand through the girl's torso. Right below her sternum. Punching a hole below her ribcage, right in the middle of her body.

Kira's eyes flew wide open as she gasped. Her hands flew up and gripped onto Grimmjow's elbow. He still held her upright. She met his eye. His face was blank. The sound of blood dripping to the floor filled the silence.

The Novena felt her seams explode. They all ripped apart. There was a short burst of white light and then a silent thud. The girl inhaled deeply and felt herself. Grimmjow held her upright. His hand right through her hollow hole, covered in the blood of whatever had been holding her for the last month or so.

He looked over her shoulder at the human body that lay in a crumpled mess. It looked just like her. He looked at the Novena. It didn't look like her. The dark lines, the translucent skin, the pale mouth. She breathed deeply then shallowly. She bled from a hole in her side.

But she was out. She was free of the body. Kira felt everything she was tingling with joy and freedom.

The girl felt her fingers slip from Grimmjow's arm, spots digging into her eyes. Her breath was ragged and her body was screaming at her to stop. Just stop. Stop hurting. Stop moving. Stop everything. But it screamed it's thanks to. Thank you for getting out. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

There were goose-bumps hiding under her skin. Kurosaki Ichigo was there. He had come. Kira felt herself lean backwards. She let the world catch her fall and took a face-full of stars. Grimmjow had dropped her. The faux body lay beside her, still and broken.

Kira stared upwards, pain and exhaustion gripping every single cell in her body. The bloody Shinigami faux body. Their sadistic cage. It was gone. It was off. And she felt vaguely peaceful, quiet. A taste of happy tiredness drifted through the exhaustion. Thank you.

"Oi, Shinigami. This your version of animal cruelty?" Grimmjow's voice carried over the park haughtily.

"Grimmjow…"

The Sexta spat in the rubble that had been a swing-set.

When their time came the Shinigami wouldn't miss them. Shinigami are like that. They're exclusive. They're deadly. They're pretty well perfect, beautiful, shaped. They fought for life. The Espada fought to be alive.

That was their main difference, and their main defence.

* * *

Reader reviews and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated and I will do my best to reply to all of you.

I still havent mastered this new layout, so the story isnt spaced how I would like it. I hope this isnt a problem.

I also hope you're still watching the World Cup. :D

Blessings,

-P.


	5. Chapter 3

_"The unreal is more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on."_

_-Chuck Palahniuk _

**Chapter 3**

**

* * *

**

It was a gloomy, overcast morning. The sun didn't even bother to battle the clouds, it just watched lazily as the warehouses behind the back streets heard their first living noise since they'd been abandoned. Something, someone, was crying out in pain. It was sharp and aggravated and unstable. The faint smell of burning flesh mixed with some unknown substance. It hurt more than any injury would. Like a reminder that you sucked enough to get hit.

Kira had woken up sharply to the sensation of fire through her side. Her newest wound, the Hollow inflicted gash, reached into her and stretched its fingers right through her body. She knew the feeling.

The girl felt a rough hand clamp over her mouth as she instinctively tried to move away from the source of pain. She'd have bitten him under any other circumstance. Instead she squeezed her eyes shut and became very aware of the cold concrete digging into her shoulders, her heels catching the dust of the floor as they shifted continuously.

Muffled noises of discomfort escaped as the Novena was held firmly in place. The pain roared, stumbled and settled into a steady throb. Kira opened her eyes and blinked carefully. Her hands were tightly wrapped around the wrist that balanced her mouth closed. Grimmjow's other hand was on her side, a soiled rag reeking and dripping with a brown substance. A tipped over bottle leaked the remnants over the floor.

His knee was at her hip, opposite to where the gash had been, making it so that she couldn't reflex herself away. The wound was gone now. Destroyed like she could very well have been.

Grimmjow expected a kick in the ribs, a knee in the stomach, teeth into his palm. She didn't do anything. She just breathed hesitantly, entirely still. Her lips were pale, her eyes framed by dark circles, her skin translucent and the veins below just visible in places where it had begun to stretch tight.

The Sexta dropped his hand to her collar and hauled backwards as he stood. Kira didn't let his wrist go as she let her feet find the floor. Her knees were like jelly but she could breathe. Oh gosh, she could breathe. She was out. She was out. The girl felt like she'd be okay. She was out.

Her head throbbed as her senses struggled to catch up after such a long break. Her muscles ached as they found freedom again. Her bones were stiff. Her everything exhausted. But she was out. Finally. Thank you.

Grimmjow stated blankly. His face was apathetic, but somehow displeased. You could always trust him to appear bored until you gave him something entertaining. Same old. Familiar.

Kira inhaled steadily, her eyes dropping to his collar as her chin dipped down. Her breathing was shallow and she swallowed in an attempt to control it.

The Sexta thinned his mouth. "I don't owe you anything now, Brat."

Memories of sand under her feet and his blood seeping through her back flooded back. She nodded and closed her eyes.

Silence.

"Thank you." Her voice was soft and weary.

He didn't reply sarcastically, he didn't reply with 'baka'. He didn't reply at all.

Kira let his wrist go with one hand and let it fall to her side. Her fingers brushed against the hilt of her sword. They moved to her body and found the hole below her sternum. She could already feel the cool sensation of her mask as it ran along her cheekbone and dipped down beside her nose. She was the Novena. And she was alive.

The girl let her other hand loose and felt Grimmjow drop his grip from her collar. She swayed on her feet for a moment before sweeping her eyes down. Her old clothes covered her. Black and White. Ripped. Bloodstained. Arrancar. Espada. It was all there. It felt good.

Kira felt the last month hit her like a fleet of buses. The scar tissue on her torso tugged at her movements lethargically. The absence of damage on her throat frightened her a little. They had sealed her away. Locked her up. Tortured her. Bastards.

The Novena stepped forward slightly to steady herself. Grimmjow watched with a blank expression, his hands now buried in his pockets. He didn't reach out to catch the girl as she stumbled forward. He simply watched as her body crumpled exhaustedly at his feet, her figure in dire need of rest. She wasn't weak. She had just been too strong for too long.

Time. She needed a breather. Just a moment. Just some time.

Kira felt the coolness of concrete again. She waited for the berating comments. 'Pathetic'. 'Baka'. 'Weak'. Nothing. Silence.

And he was there.

_Above the dome of Las Noches sat a solitary figure. She had her hair in a ponytail and her jacket pulled tight against the inevitability of cold night air. The view was so familiar. Sand, sand, stars, twigs. It just went on and on and on. Timeless. _

_The newest Espada sat with her feet dangling off the edge of a pillar. A few feet away, another was doing the same. An empty bottle of sake sat in the middle of the circle and for miles they saw the same thing. _

_Grimmjow stared at it silently, his elbows resting on his knees._

_Kira watched it quietly, her hands behind her back and her arms bearing the weight of her torso. _

_They weren't watching each others back, just staring at the view behind it, not giving anything away because there was nothing to give away. Different angles, same picture. Different lives, same picture. Different souls, same picture. _

_It's a wonder why anyone would want to evolve and not just die and be born again somewhere else. It's a wonder why anyone would fight to live in a place like Hueco Mundo. To want to survive. They were different. Special. They fought for life, not to defend it. _

_But they felt pain all the same. _

_"It's getting late." The girl said flatly, humour evident in her expression. Late, early – it was always timeless in Las Noches. _

_"I ain't tucking you in, Brat."_

_Kira smiled from the corner of her mouth. "Don't even think about it."  
"Csh." He was humoured. It was his way of saying 'welcome to the club'. _

_Welcome to the top. To silence. _

The Urahara Shop filled with the confused faces of Shinigami. Ichigo, Rukia, Renji, Matsumoto and Toshiro. The Captain had his arms crossed over his chest. He had been called out of Soul Society.

The sun was rising vaguely through some drizzle. It had been a few hours since two Espada had vanished from the radars of the Shinigami. The torn body of a young woman lay in the room on a bamboo mat. A hole gaped through her torso and a gash slipped down her side. They tore her clothes open.

Her face looked sunken. It looked empty.

"Grimmjow said she was suffering." Ichigo said flatly, his arms crossed, his eyes on the table they sat around.

"Her reiatsu had been sealed with the faux body." Urahara was tired. Glum even, but all together serious. "Usually the victim doesn't notice until they try to release their power. The body was a prototype."  
"So she was actually suffering?"  
"I can't answer that."  
"Why did she come to Karakura Town?" Renji was a little ticked off.

"Maybe she was looking for me." Ichigo met the Captains eye.

Toshiro maintained the look. "I was the one who found her. I'll take full responsibility."  
"She may be dead, Captain." Matsumoto stated eagerly.  
"Her friend isn't." He blinked and turned his head to the woman. "This is a serious problem. We cant do anything until they reveal themselves."  
"When will that be?" Rukia seemed to be thorough about it, but she had seen the Novena. She and Ichigo had seen her. The question was she suffering wasn't relevant, it was why she had been.

"They may leave." Urahara was detached in thought. "They may return to Hueco Mundo."  
"No." Ichigo said. "They wont."  
"How can you be so sure?" Rukia doubted him.

"Would you go back?"

Silence.

The silence went on. A day. Two days. A week. Two weeks. Three weeks. Four.

Silence.

No ticking clock. No nothing. Just unmoving quiet and a desperate search.

_"Everything here is dead."Kira stared over the sands of Hueco Mundo. It went on in every direction. Las Noches loomed behind her. "It's all dead."_

_"It's what happens when you die." A smooth voice filled the space beside her. "You can't go on thinking that you're a human anymore. You're not worth being human anymore. It's why you're here."_

_They had become worth so much more. Ulquiorra stared over the emptiness. "It's just an illusion. We might be dead, but I bet that if I could see what I looked like when I was in the Real World…I'd look just like me. Your soul doesn't change. It gets manipulated. Just your name and address." _

_The Fourth said absolutely nothing. She, by evolutionary standards, should be dead and he thought so too. She was too … human. _

_"Don't tell Grimmjow we got sent out together. He'll kick my ass." The Novena stated flatly as she continued walking. _

_No reply. _

Kira Sato lay on the floor of the abandoned warehouse. It was hard and chill and dusty. It was a holiday from the soft beds in the rehabilitation centre. She would trade all the fluffy mattresses in the world for the feeling of relief and freedom she could now feel.

The girl looked at the rusting ceiling above her. "You killed Kurosaki then?"

No reply.

"You didn't." Her tone was low. Honest.

Silence.

Kira lifted a hand above her face and opened and closed her fingerers against the misplaced shafts of light. "Is it…because of Aizen?"

Grimmjow sat on a create not far off, his elbows on his knees, his hands hanging. His expression was hard.

"He's alive, isn't he?" Kira dropped her hand. "That's why you haven't killed Kurosaki. You want Aizen dead and there's only one person who can do it."

His knuckles went white.

"When you get your kingdom, can I be the jester?" Kira brought her eyes to his, her voice nearly a whisper. "I'll be good, I promise."

Grimmjow blinked and scoffed. "Who say's I'll let you?"

The Novena laughed once, very quietly, as she lay there. She was very still. "But it hurt all the time. It felt like I was drowning all the time. Being crushed. Everything was suffocating and collapsing. It was like my bones were all going to snap any second and that simply moving would destroy me."

"You're deluded if you think I'm interested in your pathetic little story."

"You're interested. You're just a jerk. If you weren't interested, you wouldn't be sitting there."  
The man growled. Some days he really did not like her.

By the time the sun went down, Kira was able to roughly stand. The bottom quarter of her jacket hung down to behind her knee in tatters and her shirt was ripped through the side. Her hair had been managed into a ponytail, but pieces escaped. It looked like she was fresh from a fight, and in so many ways, she was.

"We have to talk to Soul Society." The Novena said as she slowly moved towards the doorway. Her motions were stiff as her muscles protested.

"Like hell we're going to talk to Soul Society."

"Where are we going to go? The Shinigami are probably hunting us like dogs. This place, like this, is not suitable."

"Then go back to Las Noches."

Pause. "Would you go back?" Kira put a hand on the metal doorframe and looked out over the concrete and weed desert that was the area they were in. At least it wasn't sand.

"Csh."

"They're going to find us, Grimmjow. They're coming."

"It wont be hard to kill them."  
"You violent pig." Kira smiled briefly. "Do you want to die?"

"I wont die."  
The girl shook her head briefly. She felt the need to sit down. She pressed her spine to the doorway and slid down so her legs were stretched out in front of her. "Are you implying that we're not already dead?"

"If you enter that thought patter, I will beat the crap out of you."

Kira rested her head back. "Yeah…you've got a soul. Its what makes you want to live so much."

Silence.

"They're coming, Grimmjow." Kira closed her eyes. "They're nearly here."

Silence. Neither of them moved.

They did come. As soon as it was dark, they came. Figures dressed all in black headed by a slight woman in a Captains uniform. She was accompanied by a white haired boy, a busty red-head and a tattooed man. All of them had captain level powers. All of them were capable.

Kira was still sitting in the doorway. She turned her head and took them in. She didn't move. The sound of feet scuffing the floor diverted her attention. A figure loomed above her, his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the Shinigami and their secret op corps.

"Espada." The woman said in an authoritarian tone. "You are not wanted here."  
The pair in the doorway didn't reply.

"We have orders to send you back to Hueco Mundo or exterminate you like the rodents you are."

Kira exhaled slowly and rose to her feet. She tried not to move too much. She'd never been so stiff in her entire life. And exhaustion was still very much an issue.

"Shinigami." Grimmjow said flatly. "We don't give a shit whether you want us here or not." He took his hands out of his pockets. "And you don't get to choose who gets exterminated."

"Your existence here is a mistake - "

Kira, who had been eyeing the white-haired captain, spoke over the woman. "You're right. Our existence is a mistake. But not ours." She drew her gaze to the apparent leader of the group. "You're the ones who didn't kill us as Hollow. You're the ones who let us fester in Hueco Mundo. You're the ones who didn't get to us in the first place. The day that our chains of fate were ripped from our bodies was the day Soul Society failed. It's a wonder we hate you, you betrayed us as souls. All of this is your fault."

There was silence.

Kira took a step forward. It was not smooth or silent like it would normally have been. "You don't get to call us rodents. You don't get to judge us on how we choose to repair what you broke."

The woman blinked. The man beside her spoke. "You begged for you life that day."

The Novena turned herself to him.

"You told us to not let you go. And here you are."  
"And here you are with your swords and your little army." Kira breathed in roughly as she straightened herself.

"Csh." Grimmjow spat. "Don't waste your breath, Brat."

The girl paused. "No. You're right. They're not good enough for that. They don't deserve that." She looked the group up and down before turning her body and awkwardly pulling herself back towards the doorway.

Ever since arriving in Hueco Mundo, Hollow fight to regain what Shinigami inadequacy stole from them; humanity. And they keep fighting until they obtain it. They cant help but devour souls; its how they survive. They eat each other, they eat Shingami, they eat the humans that Soul Society hasn't reached yet just to spite them.

And then there are those who break free. Who wander around a constant night, surrounded by naught but sand and the knowledge that recession will occur if they don't kill others who have made it that far. When Aizen arrived, they could feel it. Something changed. He started accelerating their development; creating his own Espada. The nine were around long before Aizen; they aren't his idea. Just his manipulation. He gave a deathly purposeless life a little guidance. The moment the Espada started to acknowledge themselves, he discarded them like waste.

They shot for the sky and got stuck on the ground thanks to him. Their dreams and hopes, the things that kept them alive and fighting were just pieces of his game.

"Wait." It was the voice of the white-haired Captain. "We don't want to attack you."

"Eh?" Grimmjow's voice was rough. "Ain't that why you're here, Shinigami? Ain't it your job?"

The Captain was silent a moment. "Our job is to save souls."

Kira stopped and listened.

"And you're right about our failures."

"Captain!" The woman said, stopping him.

The other man also seemed taken-aback.  
"No. The girl is right. We failed them when we should have saved them."  
"We did just fine by ourselves." Kira said lowly, not turning to look at him. "Our souls are just fine."

"You mean to suggest that you have a soul?" The first woman said in a sharp voice. "You have no soul."  
Kira looked up at Grimmjow. "We are more than dust. That means something."

Blood and emotion. They were alive. Living. Breathing. Feeling. The Sexta met Kira's eye and held it. His gaze was cold and steady. She was fading out again. She was still in a bad way. In the time they watched each other, she let him know that she was scared. He saw her weakness but no shame. It felt pathetic to him.

"We will leave you here under watch and talk to Soul Society." The young Captain said.

The other Shinigami protested, the man with the tattoos even drew his sword and prepared to attack the Espada. But in the end, all there was was silence, two figures and a meaning no one could yet comprehend.

With a sharp sigh the apparent leader, the woman, agreed. She spoke a warning to the Espada before ordering her men to watch them carefully. They would be killed in one moment of suspicion. If they could get close enough to draw their swords.

Kira moved slowly back into the darkness of the empty warehouse. It was chill inside and it smelt like wood shavings. More than one set of footsteps joined her in the large room. The reiatsu of the woman burned up the Novena's nose like acid. She smelt sweet and bitter like honeyed vinegar. The presence of her secret op corps lingered around, oozing in from the roof, from the walls, from corners.

"Oi, Shinigami. The hell you think you're doing?" Grimmjow's voice was rough and invasive.

"I am Soi Fon, Commander-in-chief of the Onmitsukidō and the captain of the 2nd Division in the Gotei 13."  
"That doesn't answer the question."

"I'm here to make sure you don't do anything stupid. Surprise me by not stepping out of line."

Kira glanced back over her shoulder at the woman in the Captain's uniform. "Where is said line?"

"What?" Soi Fon's eyes shot to the female.

"This line we can't step over, where is it? I am going to assume it's metaphorical unless you draw something on the ground. If by line, you mean to lay down rules, then don't even bother mentioning it." The Novena's voice had dropped.

There was an iced silence. Grimmjow scoffed. "Shut your trap, Brat. You look like shit."

Kira gave him a look before placing herself on one of the empty crates that were stacked around the room. Her back found the coldness of the wall and she breathed.

The Sexta was not at all pleased. Displeasure radiated off him. You could nearly taste it. There was a Shinigami and he was not fighting, smiling or drawing his sword. Instead, his fists were clenched at his sides, his jaw locked in place. The fortunes of heaven and earth couldn't stop Grimmjow from doing what he pleased; yet the forces of deeper need, instinct even, were more binding than any captor could comprehend.

Half an hour later, the white haired captain was back. He brought with him the red-head and the guy with tattoos. A man in a cloak and green hat accompanied them. There was also a familiar little reiatsu. Like a raven. Kuchiki Rukia. And then the most unfortunate of them all; Kurosaki Ichigo.

Kira could feel the hairs on the back of her neck rising against them. Every cell in her body shot into fight-or-flight mode. Flight had never really been that much of an option. The girl remained in her place, crossed legged on top of a wooden box, an arm wrapped around her torso and her back straight.

Grimmjow was leaning against a steel pillar nearby. Though you couldn't see it, Kira knew he was close to exploding. His face was knitted together in a resentful, revengeful, furious way.

"The reason you have not been removed yet is because of Aizen." The white haired captain spoke smoothly from the get-go. "If he intends to create another army, we imagine he will use the same tools as before."

"So we're not under attack because you predict a new breed of Arrancar?" Kira blinked slowly.

"Hai."

Every different Arrancar is exclusive. There is no new, there is no old. They were just as they were, surviving and fighting and bleeding and breathing as they always had been. The Novena inhaled but said nothing.

"We expect you to cooperate with us."

"We are not animals, Shinigami, despite what you believe. Maybe once, but not now. If anything, it is expected that you at least treat us with dignity." Kira met the eyes of the Captain.

"We saved your life, how is that not dignified?"  
"You say that as if I owe you something." The Novena leaned forward slightly. "Let me tell you something, Shinigami, I would have rather died than have gone through what you did to me. You are bastards, sonsofbitches and low-lives. If you treat anything like you treated me, then you are not even worthy to set yourselves above us."

The man blinked. "What?"

The man in the hat stepped in. "Sato-san," he was the first to use her name, "was the faux body so truly uncomfortable?"  
Kira was silent. "Every single second of every second day that I was in that torture suit was the worst second of my life." Her tone was frank and unforgiving.

Grimmjow remained silent, his eyes locked on Kurosaki.

"Are you still in pain, Sato-san?" The man enquired.

The girl did not reply.

"I am Urahara Kisuke, I created the faux body."

The Novena swung her attention at him. If she wasn't so tired, she would have leapt at him and torn him to shreds. And he could tell.

"It was designed to act like a binding spell whilst allowing you to maintain your freedom of motion."  
Kira opened her mouth to say something but ended up unfolding herself from her seat and extending her legs to the floor. In a few long strides she closed the gap between her and the man. He was nearly as tall as Grimmjow and stared down at her without moving. The sound of a sword being drawn didn't register. The Novena slapped Urahara. Hard. Not hard enough for his hat to tumble off, but enough to make him wish that maybe it had.

"Let me see your scars, Sato-san." The store-keeper turned his face to her, redness filling the pale gap on his cheek.

No one moved. They all watched. And waited. There was an airy thud as the girl's jacket hit the concrete and the maintenance of nothing as her fingers moved her shirt up, folding it neatly to reveal her stomach.

She was lean, lithe, pale. The hole beneath her sternum was on display. Just down and beside it sat a wretched looking scar. Jagged, red and hideous. By her hip, on the opposite side, stretched an uneven line. It was a rich red colour, only just healed. The space where the rip in her jacket was placed was empty. There was nothing.

"You were injured." It was Kurosaki. "By the Hollow, how'd…"  
"That's none of your business, Kurosaki." The Sexta spat.

"Grimmjow…"

Urahara said something next. Nothing relevant to the feud between the pair of men. "Who did this?"  
"Ichimaru Gin." Kira replied. Every time she breathed she could feel the scar tissue tug a little.

The red-haired woman hesitated. "Gin?"  
Kira eyed her. "Yes."

Matsumoto looked at the Espada's body. If what she said was true, she should not have survived. The way she was now was obviously not healthy. The girl had bags under her eyes and an angled boniness about her limbs. She was not in the shape she needed to be to survive.

"Orihime Inoue can fix these scars." Urahara mentioned carefully. "With some rest you'll recover completely."  
"Will I recover what I lost during that time?" Her dignity. He pride.

There was quiet.

"Take us to Soul Society." Kira said smoothly. "Take us to Soul Society, give us food, shelter and respect and maybe we will help you."  
"Like hell you're going to Soul Society!" Ichigo yelled.

"Then like hell you're ever going to get our help against Aizen." Grimmjow spat in sharp reply. "Listen, Shinigami, you don't want us here. We don't want to be here."  
"Then go back to Hueco Mundo."  
"Would you go back?" Grimmjow met the red-head boy's eyes. "Eh, Kurosaki? Cant you hear the shit you're talking?"

Kira spoke quietly. "Its there or here. Everything in Soul Society is composed of spirit particles, the only thing here like that are human souls. We've got to eat something." Her tone was nearly playful, but a threat underlay it.  
"We could kill you right now." Soi Fon insisted.

"You need us." The Novena replied, folding her shirt down and retrieving her jacket. "You need to defeat Aizen. When that is over, we will be gone."

Kira felt casually tired now. It was no longer desperate. By speaking to the Shinigami, it felt as if she has let a weight off herself. It was still there, at her feet, reeking of some unknown substance. Dreams she had but couldn't see. Interests that had been cast on the wayside. The things that made her Kira Sato, but that had been killed by the Novena Espada. That was who she was.

One of those two.

Or both of them.

The equilibrium, if it existed, if it was anything at all, was something she sought. It was not in Hueco Mundo and the Real World was her living hell. It would take the force of humanity itself to get her to confess that she was terrified of their world. It was so brutal, so beautiful; so mortal.

* * *

Another week, another chapter. I hope you enjoyed it.

Constructive Criticism and reviews really do add fuel to the progression of the story. I will reply to each message individually.

Thank you for reading. Keep safe. Keep well. Keep happy.

Blessings,

-P.


	6. Chapter 4

At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need.

_- Greys Anatomy_

**Chapter 4**

**

* * *

**

The Urahara shop smelled of bamboo boxes and hard candy. So simple, so honest. And yet, a hypocrite that housed gods of death. Kira Sato woke to a stripe of sunlight wandering down through a window. She was on a futon staring at a ceiling in a cream room with green detailing, sliding doors and a hardwood floor. Half an arms length from her mattress was another.

It was empty. Its pale sheets strewn carelessly aside. They smelt deep. If 'deep' was the word to describe it. There was no ominous flavour, but rather a sense of perception. It was not overbearing or sickly, neither too weak nor too strong. It was somewhere near the centre, but just off.

Kira groaned and crossed an arm over her eyes. She remembered leaving the empty warehouse with an escort of Shinigami. But she had no recollection of actually lying down to sleep. The girl was warm and comfortable. She felt like she could curl up in a ball and drift in an out of drowsiness for the next while or so. Contentment was a pleasure that rarely came around. It was nice.

However, 'nice' never lasted long for an Espada. Her senses shot up painfully as the reiatsu of Shinigami became dense and think around the room, around the building; above and below. Kira lifted her arm off her face and stared at the ceiling, her expression flat.

Once again she had put herself in the hands of the Shinigami and once again they'd got the better deal. Or stolen it, cheated for it and just about screwed the Espada over to achieve it. Rank mattered, they all knew it. If you could put the sixth and ninth most powerful enemies beneath you, then you were above them. It was a safer position that not being in control.

That was it. The Shinigami had control. Damn it. Kira clenched her jaw and hissed lowly. She felt the skin on her stomach tug. The scars were still there. She couldn't imagine that away. Not even if she tried.

Very quickly, The Novena Espada developed a headache.

The door to her room slid open with a hiss. Her reiatsu must have slipped out a bit without her realising. The presence of a very familiar soul caused the hairs on the back of the girls neck to rise. She ran her hand down her arm to stop goose-bumps from forming. It was instinctive, this reaction, it was a reaction to this…boy.

The red-head of Kurosaki Ichigo appeared in Kira's peripheral vision. She turned her face to his. He looked solemn, serious.

"You're awake." His voice was controlled.

Kira's reply was smooth. "Well observed." She turned her gaze back to the ceiling.

"Are you feeling better?" The young man put a hand behind his neck.

"I am feeling more rested, if that's what you mean. I'm still sore."

"Sore?"  
"Well, if you weren't able to move for a month or so, you'd be pretty achy too."

"You could move?"  
Kira exhaled slowly. "Just because the body is moving doesn't mean you are. There is more to living than being alive, Kurosaki."  
"What is your 'more' then? What keeps you alive?"

The girl was silent. "I don't know yet." She met his eye. "You came here for a reason other than philosophy."  
"Hai." The business demeanour he took on was swift. "As you are probably aware, you are under constant watch. Soul Society is in discussion about what to do with you. You will be transported to a facility away from here and kept under house arrest until further notice."

"House arrest?"  
"Hai."  
Kira smiled. "You told Grimmjow that yet? Or have you killed him?"  
There was a silence. "He is still alive."  
"Then don't tell him he's under house arrest. That's a challenge and a half and he'll defiantly take it on."

"Sato-san?" He sounded personal now.

Kira nodded at him, indicating that he go on.

"Why hasn't he…"  
"Why haven't you killed Aizen?" She replied, cutting him off.

The silence that stretched answered every question that followed.

Kira slowly sat up, careful not to pull on her stitching. She'd been laying down for a long time and her bones were against anything else. She forced them in the opposite direction. "I'd like to see him."

Kurosaki Ichigo hesitated a moment before nodding and waiting for the Novena. She stood to her feet with lithe hesitation and then found her sword in the corner of the room. Her shirt was badly mended and her jacket beyond repair. Her hair hung down her back and her long fingers brushed it off her face. She was fragile. Like a willow tree. Like a doll.

And yet, the tattoo on her shoulder said otherwise. Or maybe it just expanded the picture. Kurosaki led the girl to the ladder that led to the cavern below the Urahara store. She descended, her motions becoming smoother as the reiatsu of Grimmjow Jaegerjaques started to move around them.

Another reiatsu was battling his, but it was not as strong, not as destructive and not quite as in need of a venting session.

Kira let her feet find the ground. Her eyes found the figure of the man she had met before, the creator of the torture suit, Urahara Kisuke. He waved at her. The woman, the captain, stood beside him, her arms crossed and her expression harsh. Soi Fon. Or something. Two captains to watch an Espada spar with a vice captain.

Kira didn't say anything to them. Kurosaki stood behind her, his arms at his sides. The girl watched.

A large bone snake roared out of the sky and at a figure standing close by. Grimmjow dodged and the creature crashed into a cliff-face, sending dust and rock flying. He laughed and shot toward the Shinigami controlling it.

"This is your Banki? It's disappointing, Shinigami!" There was a sharp crack as the Espada's fist collided with Renji's stomach.

The Shinigami flew backwards, tumbling over himself before landing in a heap near Urahara.

"Okay, Grimmjow-san!" The store-keeper said cheerily. "Enough today."

Kurosaki moved slightly, as if he were thinking of going to help his friend up. He thought the better of it. The young man noticed the Sexta Espada's eyes on him, but only recently. They'd slipped backwards only a millisecond before. The loathing was evident. The amusement and entwined anger even more so.

"Oi, Kurosaki! What's the Brat doing awake?"

"The Brat woke up." Kira called back. "Asshole." She said under her breath.

The girl had to quickly bring her arm up above her face to prevent it from getting punched in by a grinning Grimmjow. "You're pathetic, Brat."

Kira shoved his fist off her arm. It felt bruised. In a swift movement, she drew her hand across his face. The man laughed brutally and lifted his palm. Revenge was a dish best served cold; but Grimmjow didn't care. His fingers wrapped over the top of the girl's skull and he stared down at her. He would crush her head in a moment. He could. His muscles contracted, clamping down on her in a threatening manner.

Kira crossed her arms and gave him a long suffering look. The laugh vanished as Grimmjow roughly ran his hand over her head before shoving her away. The girl muttered an insult at him before smoothing her hair down.

"You'll live." He said, his smile vanishing and his eyes locking onto Kurosaki. "For now."

0

The small group climbed back to the surface where Kira and Grimmjow stood to one side, Shinigami emerging from all around. The Espada pair had acknowledged each other in a way that no Shinigami or human could comprehend.

Their territory was not under threat from the other, but it didn't mean they liked having them on it. They annoyed each other, got mad and argued with each other; but that's really part of what friendship is. They see through the enchantment without being disenchanted.

"Now that Sato-san is awake, we can officially move you to your new location." Urahara said, his tone bright. "We do not have the facilities here to keep proper watch over you and we need to do that in order to protect the town."

Grimmjow's expression was detached, blasé and uncaring. Kira looked slightly curious. She liked to watch things unfold. The Sexta Espada only liked the unfolded version.

"Soi Fon and her agents will escort you there and you will be placed under constant watch. Your reiatsu must not exceed a functional level and if you intend to move about town, you will do so in a gigai with a tracker in it. If you intend to attend school then you will have to address a Captain. If you are accepted, you will be in the same class as Ichigo and Rukia and you will do so in the gigai and not leave the body until you are back in your accommodation."

Kira stiffened. "No."  
"What?"  
"Understand this, there has never been an idle day lived in the life of an Espada. And there has never been such an invasion or privacy. And our options, though limited, were not brought down to your methods of detention."

"Eh?" Grimmjow rumbled. "If you think you can control me then you've got something coming to you."

Urahara glanced at the pair. "We will not be actually watching you, simply observing your reiatsu levels. We are aware of rights. Soul Society has expressed interest in you and we would not like to tarnish this relationship."

"Consider it pre-tarnished then." Kira stated flatly. "Remember the last gigai? I cannot trust you now and I will probably never trust you with something like that ever again."

"It is no trap. The one's made for you have no inhibitory applications."

"I don't give a damn. Your last 'living arrangement' for me was in a human hospital in a place I had never been. Ever."

"Sato-san, do you want to understand yourself better?"  
Silence.

"Soul Society is interested in whether or not Arrancar possess abilities that can be used against Hollow."  
Against Hollow. So they were not Hollow. They were the result of a constant evolution where death was constant but had never resulted.

"You want to experiment on us then?" Kira was rigid.

"We want to see if a connection between your present state and the soul we didn't save still exists. This has never been studied before."  
The girl stumbled. She didn't know how to reply to that. She knew she wanted to know as much as they did. It would prove her theories. Her ideas. It would answer her questions. Her life, universe and everything would have a link beyond destruction and darkness. That light at the end of the tunnel might actually lead somewhere.

"You have not yet fully recovered, Sato-san. I encourage you to rest some more." Urahara motioned down the hall to where her room was.

Kira eyed him. She had no use of the room or the people within it anymore. She had to process. So she turned her back on them and walked, completely unaware that Grimmjow had done so half-way through the conversation.

She found him leaning on the wall across from her futon. Kira sat on her bed and took her sword off, placing it on her lap.

Silence.

"Csh." Grimmjow clenched his jaw.

"I know, it's pathetic."  
"You're weak. You've lost your touch, Brat. You'd be dead if this was Las Noches."  
"This isn't Las Noches." She met his eye. "This is much worse." This was the beginning, the emergence of a new soul in Hueco Mundo. The beginning of the devouring stage. The beginning of the birth pains. You had to fight it, survive it and adapt to it.

"You look like shit."

Kira sighed and lay down, her gaze still on him. "You look very much the same. Pissed off, bored, apathetic somehow all at the same time."

Grimmjow laughed once. "Pray I don't kill you in your sleep."  
"Dear God, I pray that Grimmjow doesn't kill me in my sleep." She mocked him lightly.

The Sexta Espada eyed her blankly for a moment. "You'll be fine, Brat. You'll be just fine."

Kira smiled vaguely. "Don't push your luck."

0

The next morning, when The Novena was able to move without a headache forming, they were taken to their new 'accommodation'. It was a very small, two storied house in a suburb of elderly folk who rarely received visits and were stubborn enough not to care. The building was barely a breath away from those on either side. It was skinny and long and coloured a lazy white. It was a quiet, open suburb where eyes could hide without being seen and the watched could not move away from where they were pinned down.

Well played, Shinigami, well played.

There was a kitchenette and a small living room with table, chairs, couch and TV. A small bathroom was attached to an even smaller laundry. Upstairs was a single bedroom with an ensuite.

The house was a flipping matchbox.

Kira turned to Urahara who had followed her up the stairs and into the main bedroom. "There's one bedroom."

"Hai, Sato-san."

"I don't think you comprehend how territorial Grimmjow is."  
"I don't see the problem with that if only you are residing here with him."  
"I can see numerous problems."  
"Trouble with the young couple?" The man was so light even though he should be serious.

"Couple?" Kira stopped in her tracks. "No. We are not a couple." That thought had not even crossed her mind before. Sure, she'd assaulted the Sexta Espada with a nearly-lethal kiss, but that wasn't anything meant for intimacy or closeness. Sure, they were 'close', she guessed, but not intimate. Never like that.

"Well, then, Grimmjow can sleep on the floor or on the couch."  
Somehow, Kira doubted he was going to be a gentleman and let that happen.

"There will be Shinigami posted all around and the house will be watched for suspicious movement."  
"Hai." Kira crossed her arms and stared at the little room. "You don't have to worry about anything happening."

"Its to late to stop that, Sato-san." Many, many, many thousands of years to late.

The Novena was silent. She didn't look back at the Shinigami. She didn't even look at the empty place where he had stood after he and his comrades departed. The hum of the fridge could be heard from the second story. That was going to get annoying.

Kira wandered down the stairs, her muscles protesting aggressively. Grimmjow sat on the couch, his hands in his pockets, his eyes on an advertisement for health equipment.

Silence.

Humming fridge.

Silence.

It had really come to this.

0

They both knew that they needed to do something. They had to train or fight or wander aimlessly around some endless hallway. They had to eat and sleep and do whatever their personal characters led them to. Kira would read, think and work on her speed and flexibility. Grimmjow would stalk around endlessly looking for prey, he would work on his techniques, he would lay in solitary confinement with nothing in his head; just silence.

She was fluttery.

He was solid.

She was smooth.

He was rough.

Each had their flaws and each had their abilities. But at the end of the day, he was the sixth and she was the ninth. At the end of the day, they were both Espada.

Kira pulled the fridge open, used to the human contraption from her time in the rehabilitation centre, and took out a box of milk.

"Do you want some?" She said lowly.

Silence.

The girl poured the white liquid and put it back in the fridge. She sat on the arm of the couch and held a glass out to Grimmjow. It vanished from her fingers.

It was half an hour in and it was boring. Nothing was happening. Nothing moved. Things just started and ended and space was limited.

Kira decided to explore a bit. She found spare blankets and pillows, various food-stuffs that the Shinigami had maybe thought they'd eat instead of souls – if that was the conclusion they had been running with anyway. There was also a small collection of books, board games and a few movies. It was like a deceased holiday house.

The Novena then struck exactly what she'd been searching for. At the bottom of the pantry was a small cupboard. Inside said cupboard was an assortment of dusty bottles. She tugged a rectangular one out and blew on it. A scrawled script covered its front along with an aged picture.

Grimmjow soon found a new glass in his face. This one with a golden-brown liquid in it that burnt the throat and settled easily in the stomach. His eyes took on a mischievous grin as Kira collapsed on the couch beside him and put her feet on the coffee table.

This was familiar. This was more like what they knew. This was what they carried with them wherever they went. It was a taste of home, camaraderie, it was comfortable. It was what proved their friendship.

"How am I supposed to get back into shape in a place like this?" Kira said evenly.

Grimmjow smiled faintly and disappeared behind his glass. He watched the Novena stretched her arms up above her head, bend down to grab the balls of her feet and roll her neck. She was uncomfortable and sore. She had unmoving scars on her torso and terrors in her head.

It was like they'd whipped her without reason and left her in the rain after they'd picked her up from beside the road and saved her from that particular fate.

And still, the man did not care. She was just there. She was like a shadow. Sometimes she vanished but he'd accepted that she'd never go away completely. It was frustrating, invading, but seemingly unavoidable. If there had been a choice to change it, neither of them knew if they'd make it or not.

Kira stood and pulled her body out by lifting her hands above her head and lifting onto her tip-toes. There was a subtle crack as some vertebrae pulled itself loose. The girl vanished only to be replaced by the screeching of the hot water pipes. The sound faded out to the noise of water.

The Novena stood in the shower, a human object washing her as a soul. The warmth melted the tenderness in her muscles and the ache in her bones. The steam cleared her head. The moment she closed her eyes all she could see was sky. Endless sky and a figure standing over her, blood dripping off his sword, his fox-face grinning slyly.

Kira opened her eyes and blinked the water out of her lashes. The sound of the ocean filled her ears and the smell of hospital soap hit her nose. Just for a second. It was enough. The girl felt her pulse drive up. Her pulse. Her heart driving her faster. Her limbs tingled and her fingers found her throat. It was smooth. They paused and dropped, trailing her ribcage and landing on the jagged scar beside her hollow hole. It had uneven edges.

The one by her hip was just as gruesome, just a different shape. Pain comes in many shapes. It keeps coming. Life keeps creating more. Life. They were living. To feel is to live. Kira clenched her fist, swore lowly and flattened her palm against the floral patterned tiles of the shower.

A loud banging tore her out of her head. "Oi! Brat! Get out!"

"You're not going anywhere, you can wait." She replied, her fingers wrapping around the tap.

"I don't want to wait."  
Kira sighed. "You're going to have to."

There was a sharp click and then a gust of cool air. "Sorry, I couldn't hear ya through the door." His voice was sarcastic. "Now beat it."

The Novena was very glad for frosted glass. "Grimmjow, close the door and please be on the other side. I'm not coming out right now."  
"Why not?" His tone was territorial. The house was apparently mostly his. Just like his room. Just like her room in Las Noches.

"I'm indecent." Kira replied.

"I've seen you naked before."  
Silence. "What?"  
"When you were born. It ain't nothing special. Now get out."

Kira felt indignant. "Give me a towel." She held her hand outside the door and waited. She was handed what she asked for. The water stopped and she appeared wrapped in the white fabric. "You're an ass."

"Yeah, yeah. Just get out."

"Its our house. Its not yours. You have to share."  
"Sure, Brat. Just make sure you don't get in my way when your time is up."

"You're just doing this because you're bored."

The man smiled smugly. "Your point?"  
The girl fumed. This living arrangement was already not working. She slammed the bathroom door shut leaving a very amused Espada inside. The lock was snapped and the room was no longer private. A victory is a victory, no matter how bloody – or not, the battle field is.

0

When Grimmjow emerged from the bathroom, Kira was sitting on the end of the bed, her drenched hair sticking to her shoulders and face. Her clothes were in the bathroom and now damp from the condensation.

Grimmjow tossed them at her and sauntered back downstairs. The doorbell rang. He made no effort to go answer it. Kira pulled her clothes on just as a Shinigami opened the door. It was the white haired captain. His vice captain and the red-head Grimmjow had been fighting before followed him into the house.

"Your gigai are here." He said without introduction.

Kira looked at the two bodies the vice captains held. They put them in the chairs at the dining table, crowding the room, and stepped back. Grimmjow scoffed and ignored them.

The Novena eyed the bodies and then the Captain. "You're a bastard."

He stared at her. "What we did to you was wrong, but in no way unjustified."  
"Say that when you've gone through something similar." She turned her face to him. This day was just dandy.

"All you can do without these is sit around this house. If you want to use the space below the Urahara store, you have to go there wearing these and are only permitted to take them off when there."  
"Screw you." Grimmjow stated. "If you think we're going to just sit here, bored, you've got something coming to you."

"Excuse me?"  
"Entertain the thought. I will be."

Kira agreed entirely. All that kept her from launching across the room and hitting the Sexta was the scarring on her stomach and the weakness she knew she'd obtained. One meter out from the hit, he'd take her down and blow her face off.

Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic.

The Novena opened the door for the Shinigami and waited silently for them to get the hint. They did and left in a tense moment. She slammed the door behind them and looked at the bodies again.

Contraptions is what they were. Horrors. Night terrors. Nightmares. She was not going anywhere near them. For the very first time in her life, Kira was truly afraid of something she knew and that in itself was terrifying.

A moment later, a glass of scotch was under her nose. Grimmjow took a swig from the bottle. Kira snatched it from him and stalked off to the living room, damp, frightened and annoyed.

And dangerous.

She was still the ninth. She was still it. She'd prove it to them. Bastards.

0

* * *

Thanks for reading the chapter. I am sorry if it was a bit rough, I did delete chapters 4-6 and re-wrote them at short notice (which is also why this post is a bit later than usual). I would have held off and waited a bit before posting it, but I decided not to. I'd rather have someone point out the mistakes I make and look over (in a constructive manner) and be able to fix them as a writer for future pieces of work. If I acknowledge my flaws, they're easier to deal with.

So please, by all means, point constructive criticism is welcome. I do my best to reply to each review I get.

Again, thank you for reading.

Blessings,

P.


	7. Chapter 5

_If the whole universe has no meaning, we should never have found out that it has no meaning: just as, if there were no light in the universe and therefore no creatures with eyes, we should never know it was dark. Dark would be without meaning._

- _C.S Lewis_

**Chapter 5**

* * *

It was windy. It whipped Kira's hair around her face, stinging the skin. She could see the sky and a sly face. Her hands were covered in blood. Her throat burned, gurgled, overflowed. Her stomach felt like it had been ripped open. The girl looked down at the holes in her torso and saw white maggots crawling out from inside. They were eating her corpse. It was just a body. It was just worthless. There is no feast if there is a soul.

Kira desperately began to brush them away, pull them off. She struggled before noticing the earth coming up to meet her quickly. She hit it with a very hard thud. It shattered every bone in her body as if she were glass. She became nothing in a flat second.

She couldn't move. She couldn't do anything except feel limited, restricted and in pain. Every inch of her felt pressurised, like it would implode. Like her ribs would break if she breathed. Like her legs would break if she walked.

The Novena Espada lay there and began to rot away. She began to turn to dust, first from her fingertips. Death did creep. It just stalked, and stalked and stalked and then it took you down. It devoured you completely until there was nothing left.

Kira shot up from her sleep and clamped a hand over her mouth to stifle the gasp she made as she came up. There was a long pause before she ran her fingers through her hair and let her fingers run cool against the side of her throat. Her breathing was uneven and she could feel a tingling in her limbs.

The girl swallowed and dropped onto her back again. She was on the couch. Grimmjow as a territorial pain. The bathroom was his when he wanted it. Actually, every space was his when he wanted it. This had been established before the first night had began.

The nightmare had kept Kira awake for most of the evening. She kept returning to it. Sometimes instead of landing on the earth she landed in the faux body they had put her in. Those dreams were the worst so far.

They made it feel like she would truly disintegrate into nothing. Like her life would just fade out and she would be left with nothing at all. Not even her soul. She was a soul. This was all she had. When that was gone, where would she go?

If a Shinigami killed her, she would go to Soul Society. But if she died…she had died. She'd had to die to become what she was. She wasn't lingering in the world and somewhere deep inside; Kira knew she hadn't torn herself away from it by herself. She'd been hunted. That had been her last defeat.

It had put her in Hueco Mundo. It had put her at the bottom. Somehow, it felt like no ties had been severed, what had been…maybe it could be regained. Maybe it could make sense. Maybe that's why it didn't make sense; because it once had. Because she knew but couldn't comprehend.

No one had ever studied Arrancar. Everyone had just assumed they were Hollow and that Hollow were animals.

Kira swung her legs off the side of the couch and stood up carefully. To assume that something has no meaning or origin…surely you would never know. Because you can comprehend that there is no beginning for creatures such as herself, surely that means there is the chance of a beginning itself. It had to be paired with something. It had to have an opposite reaction. There had to be more. To feel that there had to be more must mean that there was more.

The girl walked over to the window beside the TV. It looked at the neighbours house. Their lights were off, but they had been up earlier. They were an elderly couple that pottered around. They were too old to come say hello to their new neighbours whose lights turned on and off but who they had never seen. On the other side lived a student who seemed to dwell only in one room with his computer.

The Shinigami had picked people who would not drop by to see the newcomers. They wouldn't be able to see them unless they were in their gigai.

Kira crossed her arms and glanced at the bodies that lay against the lounge wall. They had no eyes, they had no life. They were blank canvases waiting to be filled. The girl exhaled slowly and turned her sight away from the bodies. She could feel the Shinigami around. They were just letting out enough reiatsu to be known but not enough to be a threat.

The Novena padded her way to the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. She didn't even notice the moonlight. It was so familiar. She was so used to it. She had to get back into shape. This whole waiting game was not good. It would have never happened under any other circumstance. Under any other circumstance, she would be stronger or dead.

Maybe that's how it should have been.

Kira put her glass down, still full, and walked to the front door. She opened it and stepped outside. The steps down to the sidewalk were easy. The concrete was firm beneath her feet. The Novena stepped further out, right to the middle of the street. The house was near the top of a long, flat piece of road. The girl walked the few extra strides to the very tip of its end and stared right down to the beginning.

A sharp movement caught her eye. In an instant, she was confronted by a Shinigami. It was a man in a captains robe with long white hair.

He did not seem like a threat at all. He didn't feel like it either. He didn't even smell of Shinigami. He didn't smell of anything judgemental of the sort.

"Sato-san, you should not be out of your house."

Kira was quiet.

"I am Ukitake Jūshirō, Captain of the 13th Division."  
The girl met his eye. "I have to do something."  
"You know you cannot be out of your house. It is dangerous."  
"For who?"

Ukitake was silent. "Sato-san, please try to understand where we are coming from."  
"I haven't been so idle in the entire time I've been..." Pause. "Since I went to Hueco Mundo. The constraint is insane."

"I apologize for the discomfort."

Pause. "Really?"

"Hai."

"I apologize for doing this then, but permit me this one freedom." Kira's tone was placid and even.

The second after her sentence ended, she took off. She didn't use Sonido, she didn't raise her reiatsu, she didn't do anything except begin to run. The balls of her feet pounded the road surface and her hair shot behind her, unkempt and unrestrained. It felt good. The girl smiled.

The burn in her muscles was nice. It mixed with the adrenaline and created a pleasant buzz. Soon though, the road ran out. Kira slowed and realized that in the few seconds she'd been sprinting, she'd forgotten that she'd been defeated, forgotten her nightmares, her pain, her scars. It had freed her from what was holding her down.

The Novena stretched her arms above her head as she started to walk back. The pull of her scar tissue took her back. But not all the way. She'd made progress. Each step was progress. By the time she reached the Shinigami Captain, she was calm. Though she had seemed so before, it was evident now.

Ukitake waited for her. He was not threatened. He seemed to understand, or at least try to. "Are you feeling better, Sato-san?"  
Kira nodded. Somewhere inside her, she hoped she had not got him into trouble by leaving the house. "I hope you understand that immobility for an Arrancar is likened to death. Something has to keep us alive and we have to keep doing that something."  
"What is your something?"  
"I don't know yet. Right now, its finding out."  
"And when you find out?"  
"Then it will be that."

The man smiled. "If you don't tell anyone about leaving the house, I won't tell anyone. They were going to put a barrier up, but we decided that would make you distrust us."  
"We already distrust you. But not so much." Kira smiled softly.

"I hope you find what you are looking for, Sato-san. In my experience with Arrancar, I have found you very similar in character and emotion to Shinigami. You are capable of it, just as we are."

"Thank you, Ukitake."

"Our secret?" He smiled.

"Hai." Kira found herself liking this man. This tall, thin, white haired Captain who seemed to respect anything that breathe simply because it was alive. "Our secret."

"Can I have your word on it?"  
"Do you trust my word?"  
"We'll find out."

Kira nodded once. "Then you have it."

Without another word, the girl turned around and headed back to the house. She was sure other Shinigami had seen what had happened. But at the same time, she was sure that their Captain would assure them of the legitimacy and safety of the occurrence. It was just a run. A stretch. Still, she hoped it would cause no trouble.

Kira opened the door to the house and slipped inside. Upstairs was quiet. The brute still had the bed. If she dared to take it from him, she'd end up on the floor. Or through the floor.

Grimmjow was going through crap too. He had to restrain himself from killing Kurosaki and any other Shinigami he came across. It was a lot of restraint. It was a lot of bottled up anger. It was a lot of undirected fun. Sometimes. The Sexta loved to fight just as the Novena loved to run. Each to their own, so long as you could accept each other.

Kira lay down on the couch again and watched the ceiling.

0

When Grimmjow walked into the living room the next morning he found the Novena Espada fast asleep, her one arm above her head and the other on her stomach. She looked peaceful, vulnerable, nearly fragile.

Not that he gave a damn.

The Sexta Espada tipped the sofa forwards sending its contents tumbling to the floor with a confused thud. Kira landed on her stomach. Her first reaction was to groan in severe displeasure and bury her face against her arm before lifting her head to glare at Grimmjow.

"You look like shit." He was grinning.

"Why do you have to be sadistic this morning?" Kira scrambled into a sitting position and gathered her blanket in her lap. "I just want to sleep."  
"I could have killed you just then."  
"I'd have liked that much better."

Grimmjow put one hand in his pocket. "Get up, brat."

That tone. Kira knew that tone. It meant 'meet me in the hall'. It meant he was agitated or bored or in need of a venting session or all of the above. Yet he looked like Grimmjow. Then again, he was usually agitated, bored or in need of some form of entertainment. When the Novena first found Kurosaki, she thought he'd be trouble but not so much for her directly. Or rather, indirectly.

Kira dropped onto her back on the floor and pulled her blanket over her face. "Bugger off."

The covers were gone a second later, the hand that removed them quickly reaching for the girl's collar, gripping it and hauling her to her feet. The Novena protested all the way to the front door, down the stairs and onto the street.

Grimmjow paused, her flailing figure still an arm's length away. "Oi! Shinigami! We're going to your friend's house."

Kira finally shoved him away and straightened herself out. "And I'm the brat." She breathed.

She got a mischievous smile for her efforts. Shinigami appeared all around along with the captain from the night before. They didn't say anything as the Espada moved toward the Urahara store. It was easy to find with its high spiritual pressure content. Sonido and Shunpo were both used beside each other for the same purpose. They were just opposite beings. Apparently.

The Novena Espada knew what Grimmjow wanted. She didn't know if she wanted to give it to him. He wasn't asking in his usual manner. He wasn't even asking. Not that it ever mattered anyway, but this was not a play-fight, it was not a training session, it was not a moment with a friend.

Grimmjow didn't even acknowledge anyone on his way through the store. He headed straight for the trapdoor and the open space below. He was smiling, but only because he was about to exact his frustration on something.

Kira followed him down but didn't move from the bottom of the ladder. "I'm not your punching bag, Grimmjow. I'm not your shrink either."

"No, you're a Brat. Entertain me."

"No. I haven't slept, trained, been well for a while. I refuse to be your stress ball."  
"Baka."

"Just because you want to hit Kurosaki in the face doesn't mean I should break a rib."

Grimmjow's smile vanished. "Don't mention Kurosaki. Don't even think about him around me."  
"Why, because he beat you?"

Kira didn't feel anything other than the cold metal of the ladder against her back and the rough hand of her friend on her throat. She hadn't moved to block the attack, not once.

"Say that again." The man threatened.

"I'm your friend, Grimmjow. I have to say it. Who else will?"  
The Sexta's grip tightened. Kira did nothing to stop it.

"You lost, Grimmjow." She struggled to get the words out. "I lost too."

The man released her abruptly. His moods were giving everyone whiplash. "You're weak. Of course you lost."  
"You're a soul; you can't win all the time. At least you're alive and prepared to do it again." Kira fingered her throat. It felt crushed.

Silence. "Baka." His anger seemed to seep back into him. "You can't even get into your gigai."

"How is that related? You haven't gone near yours either."

"If I can get defeated by Kurosaki, then you can get over your pathetic excuse of 'torture' here on earth."

"So you admit you got defeated?"  
"I do not go down to anyone who looks down on me."  
"He didn't look down on you. I never look down on you. We're just not looking up either."

Grimmjow let out an edged sigh before shooting forward at the girl again. She caught his fist with her palm, the force sending pains down her arm. Kira pulled his attack down and swung her free hand around at his face. The Sexta leaned away from it easily, quickly turning the girl's previous defense against her by inverting her grip on him and twisting her arm behind her back. He drove his weight forward and didn't do anything to soften her landing with him knelt over her.

Kira growled and struggled a bit.

"Have we got ourselves a deal?" A smug voice drifted down to her.

The girl nearly rolled her eyes. But she understood what he meant. He meant that they should forget about it all and do what they were best at. No one had to say it. They wanted to feel alive, so they did what they had to in order to maintain that feeling. They did what they could to prove their lives.

Kira lifted the hand he didn't have in his grip, aimed it over her back and shot a cero straight at the Sexta. He was gone in a flash, waiting. She came just as quickly with a kick aimed at the underside of his jaw. Grimmjow caught her foot. The Novena used his grip as leverage and lifted off the ground, swinging her other leg around at her opponent. She wasn't such a dull blade. It was like riding a bike. If either of them had ever seen a bike before.

Grimmjow dodged her attack before letting her go. He drove a punch straight into her stomach, forcing her to keel over toward him. The man took the girl's hair in his palm and lifted her head up to face him. It was usually tied up; down her hair was defiantly an advantage to an opponent.

"You got soft, Brat." He was smiling.

Kira filled her palm with a cero and drove it forward. Grimmjow did the same with his free hand. The resulting explosion was sharp and loud. The Shinigami that had come to observe the Espada turned away from the sharp light and shielded their eyes from the dust.

Out of the cloud shot a feline figure. She drew her sword as she turned to face her oncoming opponent. Even though it was not a serious fight, the reiatsu was immense. It was like watching two planets fight each other.

Grimmjow caught Kira's blade with his palm and pulled her close to him. The girl drew her sword back and put her foot in the middle of his chest, driving herself away. As she distanced herself, she saw what she had gone to achieve.

A red line covered the Sexa Espada's skin. She was able to cut him. She was truly an Espada. Kira felt like she had achieved something. Like she did her first night with her tattoo. But her attention was not so sharp and Grimmjow slammed into her, driving her into one of the many rock faces dotted about.

The Novena felt her shoulders eat into the surface, they bruised already. She grimaced and stared at Grimmjow as he held her pinned to the cliff.

"Novena." He said evenly.

"Sexta."  
"Don't forget." He let her go. Kira let herself to the ground easily. She was panting. She was tired. She felt good.

No one is more like you than you are. It doesn't matter if society thinks your hobby's are weird, their perspective depends on where they stand. Maybe you have a better view. Maybe you've been denied a view. Maybe you'd never looked. But you knew which one it was and you knew who you were. If you wanted to turn around, you'd find the courage to. You'd find the way. The ability. Kira wanted to turn around. She had already come face to face with her greatest enemy and found them not quite so bad. She found them quite similar to herself.

The world had expanded. It wasn't so scary. Just parts of it.

0

Kira found herself confronted by a busty Shinigami with auburn hair. Her reiatsu was that of a Vice Captain but she appeared to be one of the unseated in Soul Society. The Novena had to stop herself from giving the woman a once-over but found that she was on the receiving end of that treatment.

"My Captain has been informed me to inform you that Soul Society has provided you with new clothes." Her voice was sweet and almost a drawl.

Kira paused. "What's wrong with my clothes?"

"Besides the horrible repair job?" Matsumoto held out a box and waited until the Espada took it.

Grimmjow was sitting against the wall, his elbow on his knee and his expression smug. His friend seemed a little out of depth. Life and death situations they could handle, sometimes it's the little things that are the most difficult to understand.

"It's not a Shinigami robe." The Novena stated flatly, denying the idea flatly. Instead she found a white jacket and a black shirt, exactly what she had worn proudly in Las Noches. There was a long silence. "I cannot accept."  
"What?" Matsumoto seemed taken aback. "Why?"  
"No Shinigami counterfeit of an Arrancar uniform will be suitable. I would rather wear this than that."

"But what you're wearing is nearly a dish-rag."

"What you offer me is worth the same. Please try to understand."

"Don't be ungrateful. Soul Society doesn't have to offer you anything. They don't have to consider you like they are, in fact they should probably have exterminated you already."

Kira put the lid on the box quietly. "It is the same for the gigai."

"No. You're afraid of the gigai." It was a new voice.

The Novena glanced over her shoulder at Urahara. She didn't say anything.

"Sato-san, these are just clothes. You left Las Noches and therefore no longer represent them."  
"I am not human and I will not represent them, or your little work of torture, simply because of the Shinigami say-so. If it happens it happens on Espada grounds. You want me as much as I want to be away from Hueco Mundo right now so I'm going to lay down a boundary."

There was a short pause. "If we're layin' boundaries then I'm saying that no Shinigami can stop me from going out that pathetic excuse for a house" Grimmjow rumbled from his corner. "I didn't come here to sit in a room and punch a rock wall just to be in impasse with dumb-ass Shinigami."

"What did you come here for?" Matsumoto stated flatly.

Kira knew. She didn't say though. He came to facilitate the path he was walking down. He wasn't there because she was. He wasn't there because he wanted to be. He was there because he saw where he wanted to go.

The Novena walked out of the room, palming the box of clothes off to Urahara on her way out.

He said one more thing before she left. His words rang in her ears, they struck a cord. They were so simple. So seemingly meaningless. "You should explore the world."

Exploration. Exploration. It's not understanding, but it goes deeper. It goes to the heart of knowledge. It's more exciting. It's the core of every experience. To wander, to seek, to find, to meander, to stumble across, to avidly pursue. Kira didn't falter in her step or pause in the door, she just kept walking.

Already Grimmjow was ahead of her. He used Sonido to flit from place to place, racing back to the house. It was unspoken, but they raced each other. There was no '1, 2, 3, Go.' The boundaries between them had been laid. Some of them just had to be found. Some of them had to be tested.

Being faster, Kira did take the lead momentarily. Being fitter, Grimmjow took the lead when she hit her plateau and grinned at the figures of Shinigami as they tried to keep up.

0

Back again. Back in the little house with its little rooms. The gigai still lay against one wall, a bottle of sake sat on the countertop and a bag of potato chips lay beside it. Kira sat on a high stool and lifted the shiny packaging of the snack; she peered inside and picked out one of the retarded folded chips.

Too slow though. A hand from behind took it from her. As Kira turned to object, the entire bag vanished from her side. And then the sake. Grimmjow took what he wanted, whenever he wanted.

"You can't keep doing that." She was seriously considering becoming a hermit now that she knew what it was like to have a territorial, egoistic ass around all the time.

"Try stop me."

"Sharing is caring, Grimmjow."  
"I don't care, Brat."

Kira turned in her chair to face him and propped her elbows on the counter behind herself. "We need to set some boundaries." She was half smiling, toying with the idea that he would actually agree.

"Eh?"  
"I'm the lady and its ladies first, so I get the bed."  
"You snooze, you lose. And you ain't no lady."

"If I'm in the shower, then I'm in the shower. Don't go breaking the door down, just wait your turn."  
"I'll use whatever room in this house I want to when I want to. If I got to abide by the Shinigami rules that you got us into, then I'm going to abide by them for myself."  
"You can leave, Grimmjow." She knew he wouldn't. The threat of Shinigami killing them when they tried to wasn't the thing holding them back, not at all. It was the threat of Aizen. If they had hackles they would rise at the mention of his name. He was worse than Kurosaki, so he had to go down first.

"This is where I'm staying. Consider yourself lucky that I'm letting you live on the couch."

"You're letting me live?" He could have killed her on so many occasions. He wasn't letting her live though, he just wasn't letting her die. Dragging her bloody body to a place where it could be put back together was proof of that. And it was mutual. "Come on, Grimmjow. You couldn't even kill me when I kissed you."  
The man scowled. "Like all things revolving around me and you, you only get to do it because I let you."  
"Somehow I have a hard time believing that." She paused. "What, do I have coodies or something?"

"Csh."  
"If I have something as simple as coodies, then you have STD's. Everywhere."

"What?" He knew she was playing with him. It's the only reason he didn't break her ribs.

"How many girls have you been with, Grimmjow?" Kira cocked her head to one side quizzically.

The Novena didn't flinch when the man leant his arms on either side of her and brought his face right above hers. "What's it to you, Brat?"

She stared him straight in the eye. "I'm not a whore. I am not your punching bag. I am not your play thing." Her voice was low. He was right above her. So close and yet, somehow so far away.

"Oh, but you want to be." He rumbled.

Kira turned her gaze away from him. "Don't confuse me as a remedy to your cabin fever."

The Sexta ran his hand up the side of her neck and under her chin. He turned her face sharply back to his and spoke in a near whisper. "Relax, Brat. Like I said, you ain't nothing special."

The Novena lifted one of her hands and latched it onto Grimmjow's collar. She pulled him swiftly to her before turning away at the last half moment, letting the Sexta end up with his face right beside hers. "If this whole Real-World thing has taught me anything, Grimmjow, it's that everybody is special and everybody has a weakness."

"Yours is a fake body."  
"Yours is the truth." She still had his collar between her fingers. The hand he had used to turn her face to him was back beside her, trapping her dangerously between himself and whatever she could be laying dead on in a couple of seconds.

Kira let him go in the same moment that Grimmjow leant away from her, his scowl dark and apathetic. He dismissed her with a seemingly uncaring gaze.

The Novenas eyes ventured across the room to the gigai. "What do you think about going out?"

"Eh?"  
"Like…experience the world of people. I mean, we're people too but human people." There could be categories. Human people, Shinigami people and Arrancar people. Or rather, those who could become Arrancar people. Maybe.

"Baka. They 'ain't got nothing we haven't."  
"We haven't got potato chips."

"Csh." He dismissed her as dumb. "You just told the Shinigami you wouldn't have anything to do with their clothes or inventions."

"I wouldn't so long as they were offering." The conversation had pretty much killed any chance of being offered anything besides a pass to Soul Society for research and training reasons. "The Shinigami expect something from us, but not that. We can't leave here as Espada, but we can as humans. You could get into a fist fight with Kurosaki and not kill him? Ride a motorbike. Pick up some ladies."  
Grimmjow eyed her as if she were a lunatic. She was being playful. And thoughtful. Both annoying traits.

"I could pick up some handsome young men."

"Ha!"

"I could go to a store and buy something to tie my hair up."

"With what money? Idiot."

"I was half hoping you'd encourage shop-lifting."

There was an amused silence. He toyed with her idea. Beating her to a pulp was getting boring. There was only the Brat around and there was only a limited range of options if they followed the Shinigami rules.

Grimmjow tossed the packet at Kira. "So, how ya going to get over your little phobia of faux bodies?" He knew. He knew she wanted to see and taste and experience a life other than the one she had lived. She had to know that there was something different. This was the way she had discovered. This way was terrifying.

Kira didn't say anything. She didn't know about that. Her boundaries and her rules were not the same as anyone else's. She hated the Shinigami offerings. She hated the options she'd been given. But at the same time, the opportunities that had been presented suddenly seemed like grand adventures. Suddenly there was somewhere to go. Something to do.

The girl sat in front of her gigai all night long. The light touched it in the morning, changing the skin. It went from grey to a little pink, orange, clear. It looked like a body. That's all it was. That's all. That's all. That's all. That's all.

Kira exhaled slowly. She ran her finger down the cold hand. Something was pulling at her like an invisible cord. Like something had caught her and was pulling her in. The last time she'd felt that before was when she saw Las Noches for the first time. It was an evolutionary tugging, an urge, a desire. Something no one knew or understood but that was needed and wanted and craved.

The unknown is scary. But not for the Espada. It was going back to what they had been that was the frightening bit. Going back to the time they had been fighting and struggling and trying to move forward but seemingly not going anywhere. The time on the sand. The time below. The time in the faux body.

Because she felt it, she had to mean it. Because she meant it, she had to be sincere about it. It had to be truth. Kira knew it was truth. She knew what she wanted, what she wanted to do. What she needed to do. She could feel it surging through her, going against the words she's spoken earlier, against what she had turned her back on, against her nightmares. The Novena wanted to get back into shape, she wanted to be what she was.

But she'd been that already. That too was going back and the only way for an Espada to go without dying is forward. Not one step back.

The Novena inhaled shakily and straightened her spine. Very slowly, she slid her hand into the hand of the faux body. Her fingers closed and opened and wriggled. And then there was a dull thud as she pulled herself out of the body.

Silence.

The morning arrived officially. Upstairs, Grimmjow slept. Downstairs, Kira woke up.

* * *

So, another chapter posted. I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you thought, all constructive criticism is welcome.

Thanks so much for reading. I hope that you do read the quote I put at the beginning of each chapter. They are relevant to the chapter they are with as well as the progression of the story. And most of them are pretty awesome quotes. ^.^

Blessings,

- P.

p.s) I'm using '0' instead of a dash to break paragraphs. If this annoys anyone, let me know. The editing section keeps removing my dashes and its a bit annoying. Apparently the number zero overcomes all though.


	8. Chapter 6

_Things don't go wrong and break your heart so you can become bitter and give up. They happen to break you down and build you up so you can be all that you were intended to be._

- _Charles 'Tremendous' Jones_

**Chapter 6**

**

* * *

**

Time. Time. Tick tock, time. It just went and on and on, surging nearer, surging apart. Did they know how much time they'd spent travelling together?

Yes.

One night.

And now, a couple days.

0

_Kira put herself into the faux body. All of herself. Her entire being. She squeezed her eyes shut and waited for the pain, the anxiety, the fear. It never came. _

_She stood and breathed steadily, in and out and in and out. Her heart rate sped up and a moment later there was a soft thunk. The gigai fell to the floor. _

_The Novena Espada stood above it, breathing silently through her mouth. She stared at the body. Its shirt had slipped up as it fell, revealing a grotesque looking scar on her otherwise pale belly. The girl blinked slowly as her hand unconsciously found the uneven, raw ridges of the original wound. _

_But she could breathe. She was out. She was out of Huedco Mundo, she was out of the body, she was out of her mind. And it just felt…like it would be okay. She would be okay. One more time. _

_Kira picked the gigai up and faced her fear once again. Why? So that she could live a dream._

0

When Grimmjow made his way downstairs and to the living room, he saw long dark hair and the edge of a frank green eye as the girl turned to half acknowledge him. He could feel her power moving and shifting as per usual. It was faint, but he'd lived with it for so long it was just like oxygen. So regular.

The dark circles under her eyes had not faded a little more that morning. She hadn't slept. She wasn't heading back to normal. Something was making her pace like a tiger in its cage.

"Morning, Brat." He hauled the fridge open, took out a carton of milk and drank it straight from the box.

Kira remained silent. She sat on a kitchen stool, her legs and arms crossed and her back rim-rod straight. She stared flatly at the counter top. "Let's go out today." The tip of her finger drew a long line on the counter.

"Baka. I'm not dumb enough to take on that many captains just to go wandering."  
"We're allowed to."

"Eh?" Silence. Grimmjow put the box of milk down firmly. "You better be bloody kidding or I'll seriously hurt you."  
"You can do that after we go legally wandering." The girl lifted her eyes. "I mean, its okay."  
"Csh."  
"Grimmjow, its okay to be curious."

"You cant even go near the faux body let alone get in it."  
"There's more to me than fear of fear, Grimmjow. I want to do this. I want to see what people are like, if people are like us. They don't have any power, but that's not all there is."

Pissed silence.

"I mean…you like sleeping and sauntering and being an ass. I like reading, wandering and being a pain in your ass."

Grimmjow cracked a sly smile. "Don't get full of yourself, Brat."  
Kira shook her head at him, vaguely amused. "Come on, you could learn to drive. This house is dull, it's boring. That basement type thing, it's just a basement. I have to get stronger again, but I'll never be like I was." She stood slowly. "I'll be better."  
"I seriously doubt you could be worse."

The Novena picked the milk up and smacked her friend over the back of the head before putting the fridge door between them and putting the carton away. When Grimmjow shut the door, she was standing there, her arms crossed. He paused a moment, his hands half way out his pockets. Something was different.

The man's one palm slid into the open and flattened against the Novena's head. The act was becoming familiar now. Instead of giving her a flat-handed noogie, he turned her face sideways and then back again, his eyebrows knit together. Kira swatted him away.

"Put yours on. We're going out." The girl strode out of the kitchen and smiled to herself.

Grimmjow returned his hand to his pocket and watched her go. The different clothes, the lack of mask, the lack of hole. He hadn't noticed. She probably wouldn't have noticed if their roles were reversed. She was Kira. He was Grimmjow. She was the Novena. He was the Sexta. They knew each other, they knew themselves. This new exploration of self in the girl was no new thing to Grimmjow. But for the first time, she'd outdone him. She'd faced a real demon and defeated it.

0

Kira found herself in the bathroom. Her heart was hammering in her chest. She could feel all her powers. She could get out of the body. Yet…everything in her was on edge. It was easier with Grimmjow, he'd punch her out if she needed it. But alone…she wasn't strong like him. She wasn't brave like him.

The Novena examined her face in the mirror. Green eyes, sharp features, black hair that fell loosely down her back. Pale skin, long fingers, lean form. She was a predator. She was a soul. Kira twisted her hair over her shoulder.

The girl wore human clothes and not her Arrancar uniform. Black boots, faded jeans, three-quarter cream cardigan and a charcoal singlet. It had come with the body and was inconspicuous and easy to move in.

The door to the bathroom slammed open. "Oi, Brat. Hurry the hell up."

Kira glanced over at the door. She gave Grimmjow a once over. He was completely, entirely him. Moved like Grimmjow, acted like Grimmjow, felt like Grimmjow. But his mask was gone and his torso covered for the first time in what seemed like ages. The man's faux body wore a plain white v-neck t-shirt, dark jeans and Doc-Marten type boots. There was a thick black band on his left wrist, a watch attached.

"Well, that was easier than expected. I was half hoping you'd say no and punch the idea out of me."  
"This is more fun." He leant against the doorframe with his forearm. "And I'll get to punch the crap out of you later. If you piss me off, I won't hold back."  
"You hold back?"  
"Are you still alive?"

Pause. "Point."

Grimmjow laughed once and stood upright. "Now," his face became rapidly serious "get out of the bathroom before I throw you through the wall."  
Kira raised her hands in defence mockery before walking past him. She was surprised. Grimmjow, Sexta Espada, was in a human body. He was playing the human. He was playing. Now it made sense. He was bored and he wanted to do what he did best; play. He'd toy with you until you wanted to die, toy with you until he was satisfied, toy with you until he was bored and needed something else to work on.

He'd never moved away from one thing though. There was always one thing that hadn't died, hadn't been put to one side, become boring. One thing. She was always there, even when he avoided her, when she avoided him.

Kira hoped to one day understand their bizarre relationship. She hoped that maybe the Shinigami, if they accepted them, would make a study of her soul so that she could discover what tied the Novena and the Sexta at the beginning. She didn't know. She didn't remember. But there had to be something. There had to be. Just like there had to be more than a monster to her soul. There had to be more to life than death. There had to be more to living than being alive.

0

The Shinigami were present in the street by the time the Espada even reached the front door. They waited for them. They waited.

"You have entered our agreement." Kisuke stood ahead of the group. "I am rather proud of this achievement."

Kira heard Grimmjow shut the door firmly. "Don't get full of yourself."  
"I meant proud of you, Sato-san." Kisuke tilted his hat upwards so she could see his eyes. "Now that you're in the gigai, our agreement was that you would remain in them. Except for when training yourselves under my store." He was smiling.

"I know." The Novena Espada replied smoothly. "Expect us to be under your store a lot."

"You still don't trust the gigai?"  
"No."

Grimmjow rolled his neck and pushed his way in front of the girl. "There ain't nothing about the whole situation to be liked, Shinigami. If it weren't for your lousy attempt at defeating Aizen, we wouldn't be here."

The insulted silence swept through the Shinigami. Soi Fon, Hitsugaya, Ukitake, Matsumoto, Kira, Renji…they all felt the rough words as if they were as sharp as the Espada's sword.

The Sexta Espada continued to make his way forward, stopping only when his feet found the sidewalk. "Listen up, Shinigami, you do your job and we'll do ours, savvy?"

"Savvy." Kisuke replied steadily. "Now Soul Society can begin to decide whether or not you can be trusted. You will be under intense surveillance until the decision to take you there or force you back to Hueco Mundo is made."  
"If you kill us, you'll send us to Soul Society anyway. And if you don't, we'll vanish from you until we can get in ourselves. There is no way Las Noches is our home while Aizen resides there and there is no way you'll be okay with two Espada in the Real World. There are things we both want to know, so don't get pushy." Kira made her way to the sidewalk. "This is a fifty-fifty deal. But we'll break the bargain if you even show the slightest inclination of doubt."

"Hai, hai." Urahara waved the statement off. "That is understood." He paused. "But since you obviously want to get out of your house, Matsumoto and Yoruichi will escort you wherever you want to go."

"Whatever." Kira turned away from the group and the two women who emerged from it. The Novena simply walked down the sidewalk.

Grimmjow was already ahead of her, his hands in his pockets, a seriously annoyed, withheld expression on his face.

0

Yoruichi was the first to match Kira's pace. The feline woman stood above the Espada but didn't look down on her. She didn't wear a gigai, she simply walked.

"I'm Yoruichi -."

"I know." Kira cut her off. "Urahara said so. You know who I am."  
"Yes, but it is customary to exchange names."  
"But you know who I am."

"Yes…but…"  
"So isn't that just repetitive?"  
"How do you great each other in Hueco Mundo?"  
"Once."

The Shinigami laughed. "I like you Sato-san."

Kira hesitated. "You what?"  
"You've got gumption."  
"I don't follow you."

"You use your head to interpret what your heart says. It's a rare skill."  
"No, it's a bloody annoying skill. Why are you so friendly, you should dislike me greatly."  
"Do you dislike me greatly?"  
Once again the Novena paused. "I don't know you."  
"I don't know you either, Kira-san."

"Wait…you think I have a heart?"

"Well, I guess we'll find out when you get to Soul Society."

"Shut your traps." Grimmjow growled from in front of them. "Where the hell are we going?"  
"Where do you want to go?" Yoruichi offered. Like a host.

Kira kept wondering at this woman. She was very peculiar. She knew what she was doing. She knew what they were. And yet…like Ukitake, she didn't just make a sweeping generalisation. These people were easy to like because they didn't dislike you from the word go.

"I want to go beat the crap out of Kurosaki, but I gather its not on offer."  
"Not right now."

Matsumoto, who had been following the group, spoke up generally. "We could go to the mall? You're young people, young people like the mall."  
Kira wondered what a mall was. The Vice-captain behind her wore a gigai. A shirt with stressed buttons and a shorter skirt than was appropriate. Then again, she was tall and…blessed.

"What's a mall?" The Novena enquired.

"I hate it already." Grimmjow stated flatly.

0

Turned out that Kira wasn't much for malls either. She'd never been offered so much choice before. So much variety. There were bookstores, home-ware stores, clothes stores, café's, jewellery, supermarkets…it was all there. So accessible.

It seemed too easy. It felt…vaguely familiar. A weird feeling rolled off the Novena as she discarded it at her feet.

"So, how young are these people?" Kira glanced around at the humans around her.

"Average age…14-25." Matsumoto observed. "How old are you?"  
"I have no idea."

"What?"  
"What, like we had the sun moving through the sky to help us tell time?"

"She's like a baby." Grimmjow said from under his storm cloud. "Just moving around, making noise, spouting shit."

Kira gave him a long look. He grunted at her. The girl's gaze then shifted behind the man to a group of fashionably dressed clones. They giggled from behind their painted nails and set their eyes on the tall, fit, rough looking man. The Novena wondered at them. Maybe they thought his hair was a funny colour, because it actually was.

"Sato-san, have you ever thought about wearing make-up?" Matsumoto interjected.

Kira blinked. "I know you have to watch us, but I'm not your friend. You don't get to make comments like that."

"Oh, no! I didn't mean that you needed it. Just if you were going out at night you could really do something for those eyes and some blush on your cheekbones…"  
"Don't get carried away. She'll always be a brat." Grimmjow muttered.

Yoruichi managed to speak up at that moment. "Matsumoto, Kira-san has a point. We are not here to be their friends." She met the Novena's eye. "But it doesn't mean we cant try to get along. You need provisions and other clothes if you're going to remain in those bodies until Soul Society comes to a conclusion. You'll need pyjamas, soap and food."  
"We have food." Kira said easily.

"That was just for show. You didn't have to eat it." Matsumoto replied.

"What were we supposed to eat?" The Novena was a touch confused.

"Wait, you eat food?"  
"Well, you haven't lost any souls in the last few days, now have you?"

"Well, no."  
"Not that we couldn't go hunting." Her tone was threatening. She was an Espada. She was just a soul too. They'd remember both. "But we're an evolved species. We don't need to devour our own kind anymore."

"So that's true then?"  
"Yes." Kira crossed her arms in a nearly self-conscious matter. She hated the look she was being given. Even if she explained it, they would never understand. Not even close. They'd never had to grow their power and lives like that. They'd never had to fight for absolutely everything, even the rights to another day.

Grimmjow thumbed over his shoulder. "Oi, Shinigami. I'm moving. Want to watch me do it or do you want to start a fight?"

His near grin made Kira smile. She knew what he wanted to do.

Instead, they found themselves in a large store. A woman with a tight bun approached them, asking if she could help. Matsumoto told her that her visiting relatives needed some clothes because their luggage was stolen.

Relatives.

Relatives.

Related.

The words reverberated around. They lingered.

Grimmjow was led away first, gents were easier to dress. Matsumoto, who was enjoying herself a bit too much, told the woman that he needed semi-formal attire, sleeping attire and casual attire. She then dragged Kira off.

"I will hurt you if you so much as try to lay a hand on me again." The Novena said flatly, breaking the woman's hold.

Matsumoto blinked. "I'm sorry, Sato-san. But you can't hurt me anyway." She smiled. "There are Shinigami, secret op's, all throughout the store. You'd be taken down in a minute."

Kira's expression grew long suffering. "I am not your friend, Matsumoto. But I am not your enemy either."

"Not for the meantime." She replied honestly.

The moment after the tension, Matsumoto had pulled Kira into a section of the store. She then stuffed the girl into a change room and handed her numerous items. The woman was trying her best to keep the Espada entertained, keep her mind off what could possibly happen.

Kira knocked lightly on her change-room door. "Grimmjow?" She hissed.

"Piss off." He didn't bother to lower his voice.

"Are you dressed?"  
"Wouldn't you like to know, Brat."

Kira rolled her eyes. "We need an escape plan."  
Silence. He was listening.

"I say we run like hell."

Grimmjow laughed. A moment later, Kira heard the curtain to her room pulled open. The Sexta Espada stood there, amused in a button up white shirt and black dress pants.

Kira, however, was in her jeans and plain t-shirt bra. She turned to the man and raised an eyebrow at him. "We seriously need a knocking rule."

There was a short gasp from behind Grimmjow. It was the dressing room assistant. She was quickly silent and moved swiftly from the room. Matsumoto, who was sitting on a chair nearby, stood up and made her way to the change room. She stopped in her tracks at the Novena.

"What happened to you? Does that hurt?"

Kira pulled a shirt on. "Its fine."  
"How long has that been there?"  
"Since you failed above Karakura Town."  
"Did one of us…"  
"Yes."  
"Who?"  
"Ichimaru Gin."

Matsumoto seemed to hesitate.

"He's one of you." Kira met her eye. "He's a Shinigami. It was dumb to think that they could have honest intentions while coming from our direction. Its why we came to you."

"Surely Orhime could fix that for you."

The scar tissue on the Novena's torso made itself known. It tugged dully. She knew Orhime could fix it. But then she'd be indebt to that human girl.

"Oi, Brat, we're done finding clothes."  
Kira met his eye. "I can't believe you actually tried some on."  
"If 'run like hell' is all you can come up with, think harder."

"Why don't you think about it?"  
"Because you're thinking usually pisses me off. This type though, is okay."

"Just because you're wearing nice clothes doesn't mean you're a gentleman." Kira crossed her arms.

"Ha! I'm glad you remember."

Matsumoto observed the exchange. Yoruichi stood behind her, eyeing the pair. She thought about the Novena Espada's scars. They were deep and brutal. They would have hurt. She would have bled and suffered. And by the way she put her shirt on upon their discovery, they were something she'd rather forget.

As the Shinigami pondered this, Kira stood in her now closed change room. She shut her eyes and imagined the whole event with Gin, with the hospital, with the rehabilitation centre…she wished it all away. For a moment it vanished. But as it did, so did she.

0

Kira stood with her arms crossed at the exit of the store. Grimmjow leant against the glass wall, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders arched characteristically forward. Matsumoto was paying for what she deemed they needed while Yoruichi stood a couple meters away from the Espada.

The taste of distrust, and even of disgust, still flowed between the two groups. The façade of friendship had its purpose.

Kira let her eyes travel over the people walking by. A young couple linked arms and smiled as they drank bubble tea. A group of adolescent males hung out near a corner and talked, used their mobile phones and playfully beat each other up. Young children got pushed past in parent driven prams. Girls with friendly smiles hovered from store to store, spending the same amount of time in each as they did walking from place to place.

The Novena Espada observed a group of three young women. They looked to be the same age as she was, though were probably ten times younger. Such was the difference between their lives. They got short and sweet, the Espada got long and bitter.

The trio all wore the same thing, white button up blouses, grey skirts, tall white socks and black shoes. Their hair was all very different but at the same time, so similar in the effort put into creating it. They were pretty.

Kira glanced sideways at her reflection in a store window. Just behind the image was another, one of a woman in a two-piece swimsuit with a fancy hat. The Novena knew she could be pretty. She was tall and could maybe be elegant. She had pretty decent hair, nice eyes, good features. Some would say she had great genetics, but that would mean that she was developed from something. From two people. It was a strange thing to ponder; that she, that they, had been created to look as they looked, move as they move.

Kira could never be strong like Grimmjow or as skilled as Urahara. She wasn't build like them. She was built like her, and she couldn't change that. But apparently you can accentuate what you want to and hide your flaws.

How you could hide your defeat in a two-piece swimsuit was beyond the Novena.

A small giggle turned her attention back to the girls. Her hearing, sight, smell…it was all as sharp as it would have been if she had not been in the body. In fact, she felt like she could launch a cero at that moment.

The trio were eyeing something behind the Novena. Kira didn't have to know what. Grimmjow was wearing a shirt that accentuated his…level of ability. He was fit, no one could deny that. He had this whole 'bad boy, rebel' type thing going on. He was dangerous. And girls were interested in dangerous? Well, maybe humans were dumb.

One of the girls leaned over to her friend and whispered in her ear. The second girl's face became wide and her eyes locked right onto the Sexta Espada. The other girl leaned in, listened, laughed and pushed her friend forward.

The girl in question smiled mischievously and put a finger to her lips to silence her friend's giggles. She then closed the gap between herself and the seemingly detached pair. She walked right up to Grimmjow. Like…right up to. Approached him directly. If only she knew, she'd be running directly away.

"Hey." She said, her voice was nice. Light, airy.

"Eh?" Grimmjow glanced down at her. "Who are you?"  
"I'm Mai. What's your name?"

His tone was bored, distant. "None of your damn business."

"Well, None-of-your-damn-business," Mai smiled "I just wanted to say hello."  
Kira nearly laughed at how oblivious he was. And yet…there was this uneasiness. It just appeared from nowhere. It was weird. Misplaced.

The Novena walked up to the other Espada and put her hand on his shoulder. "Hey, Grimmjow." She watched the man's expression before turning to the girl. "Hi, we haven't met. I'm Kira."

"Hi, Mai." The girl was a little unsure now. "Are you two friends?"  
"Vaguely."

"Are you from around here?"  
"No. We've travelled long way."  
"Together?"  
"Sure."

"So you're…" The girl was cut off by the arrival of Matsumoto.

The busty Shinigami juggled numerous bags happily as she called out. "Come on, you two. You said you needed groceries for your house."

Mai blinked. "You live together? How old are you?"  
"Old enough." Kira smiled.

Grimmjow was eying her silently. He didn't say anything. He just glowered.

"So, we have to go. Nice to meet you, Mai." The Novena waved lightly before turning to Matsumoto. She walked over with Grimmjow half a step behind.

His voice was low in her ear. "If you play dumb girlfriend ever again, I will rip your guts out."

"Because you were totally enjoying the real thing." Kira replied. "Are you blind? Girls everywhere want to devour you."  
"I'm aware."  
"Wow, that's not egotistical at all." The Novena crossed her arms. "I was just helping you out."  
"Did I ask for your help?"  
"Did you ask me to stop?"

Silence. Smug, egotistical silence.

0

Supermarkets for people who have never been in supermarkets before are very, very, very confusing. Shopping for clothing is different, you do that so you wont be naked and so that people don't point and go 'oh my gosh, that person is naked'. Shopping for food is so you wont starve, and so many people are starving today its not like it's a really big thing anymore. In a way. Kind of.

Kira pushed a shopping trolley while Grimmjow wandered lethargically somewhere behind her. A glassy clinking brought her attention back to him and the groceries he thought they needed. Sake. Cheap sake. The Novena smiled.

Matsumoto appeared swiftly, Yoruichi had not left the Espada for a moment. The Vice-Captain was holding aloft two pale blue bottles.

"I assume you have 'normal' hair, Kira-san?"  
"Um…yeah?"

"And Grimmjow?"  
"What?"

"Well, the bottle is the same colour as your hair. So we'll go with this."

Kira paused. "I'm going to the basement." She let go of the trolley. "I'm done shopping."

"Eh?" Matsumoto queried.  
"This world isn't so different from mine. You eat, you bathe, you sleep. They just don't fight, they've lost their primal instincts. They are no longer souls as souls should be, they're just human."  
"What do you mean by that?"  
"How does a human soul, so saturated in humanity, move from one world to another?"

"By dying?"  
"And when they arrive in their new world, surely fragments of their old lives remain, thus producing souls that contain more 'pampered' ideals than they would have if say…they'd lived one hundred years earlier."

"You were once human."

Kira smiled. "Once."

"Shut your trap, Brat. You're giving me whiplash and it's my turn to give you some." Grimmjow moaned. "You're like a freaking…woman. Its pissing me off." He then promptly turned around and started walking off.

The Novena Espada followed him, questions and nearly-masked insults aimed in his direction. Yoruichi followed them swiftly after sharply telling Matsumoto to pay for the groceries and deliver them to the house. Their assignment had decided it had had enough. In their world, enough was enough. It was just…the reason they could stop. The reason they weren't immortal.

It could happen so quickly, it could happen because they were bored, sad, not paying attention. For Kira and Grimmjow, instead of saying enough was enough, they said 'enough for now' and did something else. The Novena would meditate upon what she had seen, the Sexta would brood, get into dangerous mischief and get annoyed at his only friend.

Grimmjow turned sharply on Kira and caught her by her shoulders. "Stop talking."

"I will not."  
He covered her mouth with one of his hands. "Stop. Talking."

Instead of needing space, Grimmjow needed peace. It was his one solitude, and he found it in boredom, meandering and the bits of life between fights and thought. Kira was one continual broadcast of though. She was as useless as a degree in philosophy, but somehow just as interesting and boring at the same time.

Damn it.

Kira stared flatly at Grimmjow. His hand dropped and she continued to stare.

"Good." He grumbled at her silence before reaching across their distance again and destroying her hair.

Yoruichi observed the act. It was new; the girl hadn't learned to avoid it yet. She hadn't reached a phase where she wanted to. The depth that could be seen in people that have known each other for an age is bottomless, so much so that they can't even see its end. They'd run out of air before they even came close.

0

An hour later the pair were below Urahara's store. Matsumoto, Renji, Yoruichi, Hitsugaya, Soi Fon and Urahara himself stood and watched. Espada fighting as Espada was dangerous. It could so easily get out of hand.

There was a sharp crack as the female of the pair got planted shoulders first into the ground. She kicked up into her opponent's stomach and forced him off her before throwing herself quickly at his figure. Kira's fist just missed Grimmjow's stomach. Her shinbone found the side of his ribcage before promptly being caught. She was hauled into the air.

She'd got a hit on him. She smiled.

"Don't get weak on me!" Grimmjow roared as he shot after her. His palm found her throat. "Don't get pathetic."  
Kira drove her knee at him, getting away in the moment his instinct reacted for him. "I thought I was pathetic."  
"Vaguely." He grinned and shot a cero at her.

The Novena got out of the way just in time to block his sword coming down at her head. She looked over her own blade. "That means you're getting worse, or I'm getting better?"

"Don't flatter yourself."

"You're champing at the bit to fight Kurosaki. I'm surprised you haven't used half the Shinigami as punching bags yet."  
"Its mutual." He growled before swinging a kick at her. "I'm surprised you haven't forged your own way into Soul Society and uncovered whatever excuse for a past you think you have."

Kira used Sonido to get out of the way. "I can wait on that one. I'm actually having fun. Humans are…disgusting, interesting, weak and courageous."  
"Reminds me of you."

"You think I'm interesting and courageous?"

"No, I think you're a brat."

"Ah, but I'm your brat."

"And what am I to you?"

"You curious then?" She smiled under the force of another blow.

"Don't flatter yourself."  
"You're Grimmjow. Quick to anger, resolve and determination, slow to logic, rest and sobriety."

The man laughed before delivering his final blow. He drove the girl hard into the ground, flattening her beneath the hit. She lay on her back panting, smiling. She was the Novena. She was there. Right nearby. Maybe she was right to there being more to their existence, but they already existed within that capacity. They didn't know it even though they lived it.

She'd climbed into her darkest fear, lived in it as herself and got out to be who she was. She'd gone to hell and back and still held fast that her origin was not that place. She'd chased her mind and never been able to keep up, but she kept trying.

He'd withheld against his darkest loathing, clenched his jaw when it was near. He'd gone to earth to find it, to get rid of it, and instead had come across an even deeper hate. He'd chased a cause he believed in and found a step he had missed. And he waited.

0

They only returned home late at night. Their faux bodies were in need of a shower and their real bodies had already been warmed, washed and cleaned of accidental, or maybe not, blood loss.

Grimmjow went to the fridge first, so Kira went to the bathroom. She climbed into the shower and looked at her human hands, feet and scars. They were hers. Her own. Part of who she was explained physically, evidently. She still shivered at the thought of what she stood in, but she relished the idea of what she was aiming for too much to force herself out. It was a tipped impasse.

It had been a good day, she guessed. A little dull, maybe, but good. There had been humans, human experiences and moments where none of it felt out of place. Maybe there was more to living than being alive. Maybe there was more to society than a group of individuals.

Kira stepped out of the shower thoughtful but content. Her new pyjamas were resting on a stool beside the sink. They were comfortable, easy to move in. Humans had special clothes to sleep in. To let them know they were dressed to relax. It was a nice idea. It was neither formal nor casual nor anything else. It was unto itself an entire entity. It seemed everything had its own place.

The Novena stepped out of the bathroom with her cloud of steam and was confronted with the figure of Grimmjow entering the room at the same time. He held a bottle of sake in his one hand.

"Oi, you done?"

"Yeah." Kira tossed her damp towel into a wicker basket just inside the bathroom.

When she turned back, the Sexta Espada was right in her face. Her back found the wall just as his hand did. It flattened beside her head. He looked her in the eye silently. He was warm. His expression didn't change. He didn't soften; become angry, falter or pause. He just stared.

"What are you doing?" Kira said easily.

"Whatever I bloody feel like doing."

The Novena was about to reply when she was cut off. His mouth was on hers. It was very unexpected and yet, at the same time, somehow made sense. They had been together for so long. They didn't owe it to each other to see if they could be more, but you don't have to owe anyone anything to offer a little time.

Kira didn't know what to do. He'd thrown her off and nearly crushed her when she'd tried her little 'experiment' on him. This was different. Their dynamics hadn't changed a bit. They didn't change one bit. They evolved continuously, but somehow so close that it was creepy. Like something linked them far back.

They'd never fought it, but they'd never explored it.

This event was neither. It just…happened. It wasn't by any means romantic. It was spontaneous and unanticipated like a new mark on the map, a new place on the path. They'd always seen the same view in different ways. Landmarks are a little different.

Kira found her fingers on his shirt front and his warmth seeping into her. It made her lightheaded in a way she had never felt. In a way that somehow linked to the girl from before.

They parted. Grimmjow still stood there, his hand by her head, his eyes right on hers. She stared right back.

The Novena reached for his other hand and took the bottle of sake. "You've had enough."

An amused 'csh' noise brushed against her cheek before an unaccompanied silence spread. The door to the bathroom shut. Kira put the bottle to her mouth and hesitated at a new sensation. The feeling of hard plastic against her teeth was unexpected, surprising, but not in the way she had felt before. The bottle was sealed.

The girl laughed once, lowly, before shaking her head and leaving the room.

* * *

'Oh no he didn't' you say? I wouldn't go there if I didn't think I could keep the characters in character (if I ever slip up on this please tell me). It was not a planned thing, but the relationship just flowed to that place. Evolution, if you will.

If you want to see anything in the coming chapters, let me know. Your opinion means a lot to me. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please let me know what you think; constructive criticism welcome.

Just a message to let you know I won't be able to access a computer for the next week. Chapter 7 will therefore be posted late. I'm sorry if this is inconvenient or distressing in any way; I know it is for me( .) but it cannot be helped.

Have a wonderful week; the next chapter will be up as soon as I can post it.

Blessings,

-P.


	9. Chapter 7

_"Most species do their own evolving, making it up as they go along, which is the way Nature intended. And this is all very natural and organic and in tune with mysterious cycles of the cosmos, which believes that there's nothing like millions of years of really frustrating trial and error to give a species moral fiber and, in some cases, backbone."_

_Terry Pratchett _

**Chapter 7**

**

* * *

**

It was the middle of the night when the door opened and clicked shut. Footsteps preceded this act, dropping without care down the stairs. Kira had been staring at the ceiling and half turned her head to look at the figure leaving the house.

Though it felt like he wasn't wearing a faux body at all, it was evident that he was. His aura was brooding and not nearly as comfortable with boredom as it usually would be. Grimmjow skulked out of the house, down the steps and onto the street where Shinigami watched him from the shadows. He walked to the corner and turned it, heading towards some place he didn't know about but knew the way to.

Kira sat up on the sofa, one arm holding her up the other laying idly against her stomach. The girl stood, her blanket pooling on the floor. She was tired. She hadn't slept a solid night since arriving in the world. It was better now that she was no longer a little captive for the Shinigami. They knew that the Espada were there on their own accord, and that they had abilities they would need to know for the time Aizen returned. They had no idea when it would be. He needed to build an army again, and for that he would have to delay the transformation of his power. He would no longer need his pawns once he had turned into the god he thought he was.

The Novena Espada walked to the fridge and opened it. Yellow light spilled over the small house, drenching it as the girl removed a carton of milk and shut the door with her foot. Kira moved to the window above the sink and looked out. The lights of the house next door were off.

And so was the milk. The rank smell was horrible. The taste filled her mouth and got between her teeth. The Novena nearly gagged before the sound of liquid hit the sink. She turned on the tap and cupped water into her mouth before pouring the remnants of the carton down the drain.

Kira put the box in the rubbish and lingered. She didn't want to return to sleep. She never slept as deeply as she once had. She never quite felt okay.

When Orihime had come to Las Noches she had fixed Grimmjow's arm. He was the Sexta again by ability and thus, she healed the scar over his tattoo as well. Kira…well, she was different. Her tattoo was still there but she was injured. The scars were the reminders of what had happened. The nightmare that lasted a month.

The girl closed her eyes and leant heavily on the counter. She hissed sharply and turned her head to look at something other than her own hands. Her hair slipped into her face. It had always been tied up.

Now she wore it down because she hadn't been fighting. She hadn't been functioning as what she was. Kira knew she was evolving again. But she was still the Novena. Her rank was not changing, nor her potential. It was her. She was moving forward tentatively, looking over her shoulder as she went.

The girl knew that she couldn't go forward unless she picked up the pieces she left around the place. The scars remained. They chained her more than the fear of recession had back on the sands.

Kira stood straight. No. She hadn't been afraid then. She remembered sleeping top to toe with Grimmjow, their backs nearly touching as they faced different directions. Her tail would tap gently against the sand as she thought while she rested.

Of course, this annoyed Grimmjow severely and was probably the reason he never let her near his room when they reached Las Noches.

One time, in pure annoyance, he'd bitten her. Nipped the side of her tail harshly as a warning. Out of instinct, she had twisted and pushed him onto his back before spinning onto her feet and hissing at him. Grimmjow had pounced at her, growling. Kira had simply blinked and lightly shoved him away before turning in a circle and lying down again. The warmth of her friend was nearby soon after and a minute later, she was tapping again.

They were like magnets. Sometimes pushing each other away, sometimes flying together without even knowing it.

Kira smiled and let out a short, breathy laugh. She headed upstairs, her tongue sliding over the awful 'off milk' flavour that filled her mouth. The humans had something crazy called mouth wash. It hurt and if you swallowed it, it gave you heart burn. Or at least the one that the Espada had received did. But the end result was nothing but the sharp taste of mint and the subtle hint of bleach or something equally as bad for your health.

Kira pulled the green liquid out from under the sink and poured some into a small glass beside the sink. The mouthwash was downed like a shot. The girl had to pause a moment as the harsh taste hit the underside of her tongue before she did the human gargling thing and spat it out.

Now her mouth stang with minty freshness. Well, it was better than being fuzzy with poison milk.

The lights in the bathroom were out. The Novena could hear and see and smell with her original sharpness. It was sometimes painful in the human world where everything was noise and motion.

Kira padded into the bedroom and sighed as she sat on the end of the bed. Going downstairs meant wandering around in endless circles before ending up on a sleepless sofa, staring at the ceiling and maybe entering a nightmare she had to throw herself out of. The idea was not relished.

The girl dropped onto her back, her feet still hanging off the edge of the bed. She stared at the new ceiling. Out the window. The student next door was studying. The sound of his music, something rough, drifted lightly through his glass window and through into his neighbours. He thought only he could hear it. If only he knew what else could.

Kira unconsciously let her hand slide to her scared skin. The ridges of damaged flesh felt ugly under her fingertips. It wasn't her. It was an unfortunate event that had happened to her. That shouldn't have happened.

The Espada should have ruled Las Noches on their own as they had before Aizen. They had freedom then. They had breath and life and now they had war and the inconceivable idea of captivity, of being bound to a being that they thought was their drug, their anti-drug and their saviour.

Grimmjow would be king of the castle and she'd be the dirty rascal. This thought made the girl smile faintly. Ulquiorra would be the Spartan and Yammi the big guy that took down half an army before taking a hit. They'd be like the Greek gods, invincible until death.

And then everyone started believing they were dead. That their flesh was not flesh, their blood was not blood and their lives were just particles of the Shinigami incompetence. No wonder they were enemies.

Kira didn't believe it. She felt that there was more. A missing link. Something else.

The girl closed her eyes briefly and exhaled. She took her fingers from her scars and pulled her shirt over the raw marks.

0

As the sun rose, the door opened and shut. A lesser form of the lately brooding Grimmjow wandered to the kitchen and found it lacking in supplies. There were still bottles in the small pantry cellar, but it wasn't even midday.

Hell. It wasn't yet midnight either.

The Sexta Espada rolled his neck before putting his hand on the nape and staring blankly at the house that was visible from the kitchen window.

A very elderly man was filling a small mug with water. Someone else was awake at an ungodly hour. The wrinkled figure took his mug to a little plant on the windowsill and poured it in, carefully, doting almost. He then put the mug down beside the pot and tightened his bathrobe. Shortly after, he was taking things from the fridge, his motions slow and elderly. The old man made his old wife breakfast.

Grimmjow scoffed before turning away from the sight and stalking his way upstairs. He sat heavily on the side of his bed, his elbows on his knees. A nearly inaudible noise alerted him fully to the girl at the end of the mattress. He'd known she was there. She wasn't on the sofa.

Kira was half curled on her side in the bottom corner of the bed. She was dead asleep.

Grimmjow stared at her. For a long time, he just wanted to shove her to the floor and tell her to get out. This was his room.

But he didn't. If she got kicked in the head, then it was her fault.

The man was half under the covers with his eyes shut, his expression characteristic, when a sensation climbed his foot. Grimmjow glanced down and saw the Novena shifting. Her head rested on top of his foot, in the dip between his heel and his calf at the end of it all.

There was a long, long pause before the Sexta decided that no, that wasn't okay and flicked his foot in her face. Kira opened her eyes groggily with a low growl and stared at him. Her hand extended toward him and her fingers indicated that she wanted something.

"Dream on." Came the reply.

"Uhuh." She made the motion again. "You're not using it. Give."

Grimmjow threw a pillow at her, nearly knocking her off balance but hardly waking her up. Kira gripped the sides of the object and planted her head firmly on it. The pillow she now claimed landed on the Sexta Espada's foot.

"You know, you don't look any different without your mask or eye tattoo, discolouration things. Not one bit."

"Csh."

"Do I look different?"  
"Shut your freaking trap, Brat. You're so close to copping a final blow right now. I ain't playing around."

There was a slightly humoured silence. "Thank you."

Grimmjow gave the ceiling a long suffering look. Half an hour later, he was giving it the same look. He'd done the same thing to various sand dunes across Hueco Mundo. But it was okay, being pissed was part of who he was. At least there was a legitimate reason.

0

Kira woke up to a sharp voice.

"Oi! What the hell do you think you were doing?"

Familiar voice.

The Novena came out of sleep quickly to the goose-bumps on her arms and the image of Kurosaki Ichigo in the doorway.

Grimmjow hadn't even got up yet. There was no denying that every cell within him wanted to walk right over to the young man, smile, maybe even laugh, and pull him apart.

Kira put her chin on the pillow she'd commandeered and stared at the Shinigami.

"Grimmjow, I'm talking to you!"  
"He's busy." Kira said lazily.

"I wasn't talking to you."  
"You weren't invited." The Novena said smoothly. "Go away, Shinigami. You will regret overstaying your welcome."

Ichigo paused a moment. The girl was resting against the calves of her comrade as he lay on his back. The image of a Sunday School story told by a school missionary popped to mind. There aren't many Christian stories circulating Japan, but rather stories about something. If only that something that could me remembered.

"Oi, Grimmjow, the hell were you doing at my house?"

The Sexta smiled mischievously, an arm behind his head. "Just havin' some fun, Kurosaki. I cant beat you up yet, I gotta entertain myself somehow."

"Do not go near my family again, got it?"

The Espada gave the Shinigami the finger. "Gotcha."

"I'm serious, Grimmjow."

"Where's your little whore, Kurosaki? She was in your closet last night." He was stirring. "Your sisters were sleeping soundly and your daddy was drinking beer in front of the tv. I almost joined him. Nearly. Your game is dropping, Kurosaki. You're getting soft. I'm very disappointed that I wasted my time to find that out."

Ichigo clenched his fist before pointing at the other man. "Stay away from my family. How would you feel if I watched your little friend as she slept?"

"Violated." Kira replied. "I think you should go, Shinigami."

There was a long silence before Kurosaki turned and slammed the door behind him. The Novena stared at Grimmjow, her head on her arms. He'd made his point. He'd stalked around the Kurosaki household, made a threat, invaded another territory. He'd gone and reminded the man he hated that he was still loathed. That one day, when this war with Aizen was over, he would come for him. He would come and he would finish what they had started.

"Get the fuck off me." Grimmjow said flatly.

"You went to his house?" She didn't move. "And you didn't do anything?"  
There was a growl.

"I'm glad. You might not be such a hot-head. I mean, you are a flipping volcano of anger and destruction but hey, volcanos are cool. Maybe you're not up for destroying the town yet." He could flip his lid at any moment. He was practically waiting to blow, consume every pathetic excuse for a soul in the town and satisfy his need. But no one would ever be truly fulfilled unless Aizen was dead.

Grimmjow rumbled lowly, displeased.

Kira shifted and put her head back on the pillow. Her voice became stubborn and egotistical. "Almost everything here is your territory, oh alpha male, but not me. You haven't kicked me out yet but you keep allowing me in. Just don't mark your territory in the way shown on the Discovery Chanel. I'm here not to piss you off but to avoid pissing myself off with my own nightmares."

"You'll be in a nightmare soon."Grimmjow pulled his leg out from under her head and planted it against her side, shoving her roughly. The girl tumbled off the bed and landed on her rear on the floor.

Kira sat there for a stunned moment before thinning her eyes at him. He was in one of his 'one breath away from strangling you to death and smiling about it' moods. Actually, he was there already.

The girl threw the pillow she'd fallen with at her friend. It landed right on Grimmjow's face. He ripped it off sharply and threw it back. Hard.

"Piss off." He hissed.

Kira caught the object and held it to her chest, her legs crossed. "I'm not moving."His territoriality could get over it. Or she would die. Either way, she'd have actually slept in a bed. Rested. Been comfortable.

"Then fucking stay on the floor."

"No."

He glanced at her coolly. "Excuse me?"  
"No." She looked at him, her expression wide and nearly curious. "Like I said, I'm not just another girl, another Arrancar, another person, Grimmjow. I am not your subordinate."

He hissed threateningly at her. The Sexta was in a seriously dark mood. So dark that there was no entertainment in it.

Kira sighed and clambered onto the mattress. She planted herself right beside the bottom of his ribcage and sat on her feet, staring down at him. The Novena's head cocked slightly sideways and she tucked the hair that fell in her face behind her ear.

"Grimmjow?"

"What?" He shot back.

The dark circles under her eyes had nearly faded from a half night. "You're not such a selfish brute."

The Sexta stared flatly at her. "What's it to you?"

"I didn't ask you to save me, but you did. No one told you that you had to keep Kurosaki alive for the meantime, but you haven't ripped him apart. You had so many opportunities to kill me, but you haven't." The person she should be the most unnerved by was the only one she could find solace in. not that she'd say it out loud or admit it, even to herself.

Everyone needs something constant, something they can trust. Kira just found it in what everyone would call an inconsistent untrustworthy brute. And that was okay.

He put his hand over her face and shoved her away with a hiss. She nearly tumbled off the side of the bed again but caught herself just in time.

Kira knew if confronted by the young redhead, her blue-haired companion would rise up in all his maleness and ego and start something that would end in them either dead or back in Hueco Mundo. He was a selfish brute in that respect, but something in all of them had been human. Just once. Maybe more than that. That little ounce of what people call 'respectability' is present in every soul. Every soul.

Maybe there was more to Grimmjow's life than destruction. Maybe there was more to his destructive plan than explosions and blood.

Kira heard him fuming nearby. It was unnerving. He was a volcano. She was a tornado. He was a constant threat. She was unpredictable and yet well observed. They were forces that neither opposed each other or worked in unity.

"Can you tell me something?" She asked him.

"Csh."

"When you lost your arm, was it anything like when I lost my skin?" She folded the bottom portion of her shirt up to reveal the scar by her hip. It wasn't her skin. Her skin wasn't like that. That wasn't who she was, but it was stuck.

Grimmjow grunted at her.

"You lost a whole limb. It kind of feels like that for me too. I'm missing something."

"Shut up, it ain't like that. You got taken out." There was a difference between scars and injuries.

"And your scar? That's part of you; your hate for Kurosaki. Mine symbolises the same thing that you losing your arm did. That you were no longer an Espada."

"You're pathetic."

"When I get fixed, I'll fight you properly."

Grimmjow was silent. He propped himself up and stared down at the girl. His free hand landed on her scar tissue. Kira didn't hesitate at the touch. He was not being intimate or forward. He was being Grimmjow.

"Fix this? You're dreaming. You don't fix defeat. You were weak. You're pathetic. You don't deserve to be the Novena."

"No, I deserve it. I'll fix this."  
"Yeah?" He was condescending. "How?"  
"The red-head girl."

0

The Shinigami watched as the female Espada stepped out of the house, raking her hair off her face with her fingers as she did so. She started to walk down the street, her steps long and even, before she stopped, closed her eyes and became still as a statue and yet totally aware.

She was searching for something. Something specific. She moved again, her line straight as the crow flies. They had been able to move above the houses, above the obstructions. Now, they had to move around them. This seemed to be a confronting thing for the girl.

The Shinigami nearly shot out of their places as her reiatsu grew, as if she would move off away from her faux body and into her natural world where her abilities were not subject to humanity. Instead, the Novena stepped around the corner.

Two dark figures shot off after her. One was Soi Fon, the other a man with his face covered by a covert ops mask. The same pair had followed Grimmjow. It was in their orders not to interrupt the Espada unless they were harming anything. In the case of the trespassing on Kurosaki's territory, it had simply been a matter between two men. A staring down, a checking out, a reminder. Their hackles were raised, the move at night was just a deep throated growl.

Men.

They did dumb, justified things.

Girls.

They did stupid, verified things.

Kira strode down the sidewalk, her eyes ever forward. She didn't notice landmarks, temperature or people. She just walked. Her mind was set. The little feeling of the little red-head drifted over the roof-tops, through the streets and right into her skin. It drew her like a magnet.

Maybe it had been the cause of her restlessness. She wondered why she hadn't done it sooner. Maybe she liked being reminded that she was more fragile than she last remembered. That part of what this soul was, was soft and breakable and sometimes vulnerable. Not weak, just…human. A person.

The Novena rolled her neck slowly and payed attention to one thing. The reiatsu of Orhime Inoue. There were other powers around her. Familiar ones, unfamiliar ones too. Karakura Town was dense with humans who possessed inhumane powers. Then again, power doesn't make you human.

The day was cooling. Summer was fading out. The summer that the Shinigami had prepared for. Dreaded. And now it was passed and another was coming. What was worse than knowing when an attack would come was knowing what the power was but not knowing when it would arrive.

In many ways, it was much, much worse than Aizen's original plan. Hence the tension of the Shinigami and the slowness of Soul Society's decision regarding the Espada. They could be spies, assasins and a variety of other sinister things.

Kira brushed those thoughts aside as she reached a waist high fence holding back thick strips of grass and laughter. The front of a school always looks better than any other part. The Novena rounded to the gate, walked onto the property and searched again.

The building was a moderate size. Orihime was not inside. There was a large piece of land behind the school, there were a lot of noises coming from there. The one thing about the human world Kira had never got used to was the lighting. It changed so constantly. It was midday and it hurt her eyes.

The girl aimed for a line of trees and walked in their shade. Behind the school was a large dirt track and students dressed in gym uniforms running around it. Kurosaki Ichigo and two others who had come into Hueco Mundo were there. Kuchiki Rukia too. And then a small group of low reiatsu humans, girls mostly, two guys, and Orihime.

Apparently it wasn't their turn to pound dirt. Only Kurosaki was running. Everyone else seemed done. The Novena knew nothing of student punishment. The red-head had been tardy. Kira was surprised he hadn't noticed her yet.

The Novena leant against the tree she stood under, crossed her arms and let her reiatsu slip for a moment. She watched as Orihime, Kuchiki, the two men from Hueco Mundo and Kurosaki stopped in their tracks and turned to the source of power.

Kira raised a single hand in acknowledgement. The other people around Orihime stopped and stared after her gaze.

"Who is that?"

"Its not important." Rukia said, trying to get them to move off.

"No, it's a friend of mine." Orihime said in her small voice. "I'll be right back."

"No." Rukia said flatly.

"What?"  
"It's Kira Sato. You are not to go near her."  
Inoue blinked. "Kuchiki-san…"

"Why do you want to deal with her?"

"Because I'm here to see her." Kira was right there. She'd come up so swiftly, so silently. Her eyes were the same frank green, her hair the same dark colour, her skin just as pale. "This does not concern you, Kuchiki."

The little raven haired girl stiffened slightly.

"I need to speak to Orihime." Kira glanced at the humans around the girl. They seemed to catch her drift and gently called to Rukia to move off with them. "It'll only take a minute."

"I'll be okay, Kuchiki-san." Orhime smiled. "I know Sato-san."  
"No, you don't." The Novena turned and took a few steps back to the shade of the trees. "Are you coming?"

"H…hai." Orhime quickly followed. Rukia stood planted where she was. She could feel the reiatsu of Soi Fon drifting around. If anything happened, Espada would have numerous forces collapse onto her in a second.

Kira stopped just under the shade of the tree. "Sorry if you do not like the shade, I am not used to the glare you people seem so accustomed to."

"I don't mind the shade." Pause. "You wanted to…speak to me, Sato-san?" Orihime clasped her hands in front of her self.

"Yes." Kira glanced over to Kurosaki as he approached Rukia. "Is there anything you want?"

"What?"  
"Like, something I could use as payment. Last time I didn't know if you liked books but there isn't much to deal with in Las Noches as far as trinkets go."

"Are you hurt, Sato-san?"

To Kira's surprise, the girl sounded concerned. Concerned about her. "I am in need of your powers, yes. It would be much appreciated. But I will not allow you to do it out of kindness or as a favour or anything like that. Understand, that is not how I work. I would rather have nothing fixed than not be on equal ground."

"I understand, Sato-san." There was another small pause. "How…how long have you been in Karakura Town?"  
"Nearly a week."

"I wonder why…"  
"Do you really wonder?"  
Silence. "Sato-san…If you come to our school Spring fair, I will help you."  
"Fine." The girl nodded. "What's a fair?"  
"Come see."  
Kira paused. "Okay." She exhaled. "I will uphold my end of the deal. Uphold yours."  
"What do you need me to do?"

"You will do nothing." Kurosaki Ichigo yelled as he walked up to the pair. "Orihime, get away from her."  
"Kurosaki-san…"  
"No, get away."

"She needs my help."

The young man stopped. "Your help?"  
Kira eyed him. The other students had gone back to class. She slowly rolled her t-shirt up to reveal the tortured skin beneath. Kurosaki was the first to stop what he was about to say and look. His eyes shot up to the Espada's. Rukia was silent.

Orihime turned and looked at the injuries. The scars had ridges in them like pathways. They were a purplish red, deep and damaging. Whenever the girl breathed out, her healthy skin would be restrained. It seemed as if she would rip if she took a deep breath.  
"What happened, Sato-san?"  
"Well, apparently this is what you get for swapping teams. I need it gone."  
"H..hai."

"Why do you need it healed? Scar tissue is healed tissue." Kurosaki said blankly.

"I don't think you understand, Kurosaki. Since I obtained these injuries, I have not been able to fulfil my…prowess as Novena Espada. It is a matter of self."

"So if Inoue heals this, you'll be back to full power?"  
"No. If she heals this, I'll be back to myself."

"Kurosaki-kun…" Orihime said quietly. "She and I have a deal."  
"I hope she didn't sell her soul. You wont get much from that." The man said as he turned away sharply.

Rukia stood near as Inoue Orihime called on her powers and created a yellow dome over the Espada's torso. The woman was healed as she stood on her feet. Not lying down, not resting. She was upright and ready all the time. It had been that way for a long time.

After it was done, Kira turned from the girl and walked away. She folded her shirt down and headed out of the school grounds. She headed away from that place. The Novena did not feel like she had cheapened herself asking for the service, nor that she had done any wrong or evil to herself.

No. She felt okay. For the first time in one month, one week, she felt okay. She felt good. And all she wanted to do was run and not be held back my physical or psychological ailments; both of which came hand in hand. Kira wanted to run. A simple desire. An aching hunger. Her last pain.

She wanted to run. So she did.

* * *

_Hi all, I did plan to have this chapter out much sooner (especially since I was away all of last week), possibly by Wednesday, and then another by Saturday. I know I dislike waiting for chapters, instalments, episodes…and I am so sorry if you have been put off by the long wait. _

_Please understand that since I left you last week I have been trying to work overcome a concussion, post-concussion syndrome, torn neck ligaments, a sprained spine and a bruised skull. Gravity picked on me and won. I fell. My neck though it could catch me, realised it was wrong and called upon the back of my head. They were both wrong. The rest of my body was out to tea and apparently too busy to notice. _

_So. I can console the gap between chapters by saying "it was an epic stack, and I wish you'd been there to see it". _

_Anyway. About the story. Please let me know if you liked the chapter, it was longer but I put some of it in the next instalment. _

_Blessings, _

- _P. _


	10. Chapter 8

_"It's better to look at the sky than live there. Such an empty place; so vague. Just a country where the thunder goes and things disappear."_

- _Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany's_

**Chapter 8 **

**

* * *

**

_A sharp cracking of glass tore the night open. A table was thrown from its feet and onto its side, cutlery, cups and plates sliding into a cracked mess on the floor. They lay in the puddle that a broken vase had cried onto the floor. _

_Yellow roses spewed their petals all over a pasty carpet. _

_A paperweight flew across the room and into the wall beside the door into a kitchen. The next thing to be picked up was a picture. All black and white and sentimental and all that. Pictures weren't quite commonplace, not outside of newspapers and big stately homes anyway. _

_The image was of two people. The gaze at the picture flicked away and the eyes shut off. The light going from them. _

_0_

Kira started slightly at the loud bang that exploded beside her. A hand pressed on the kitchen counter and a face stared closely.

"Flick, don't do that." The Novena put her hand in Grimmjow's face and pushed him away. Whatever he wanted, it could wait until she'd finished eating breakfast. "You're not so obvious when you're completely bored. Get angsty or something so I get a little prior warning."

"You look like shit."  
"You snore."

"No I don't." He replied apathetically.

Kira drummed her fingers on the counter and watched the man destroy the contents of the fridge. "No, you don't. But you are no big-protective-scary-as-heck nightmare ridder either."

"That ain't my problem, Brat."

"Well, make it your problem because I will wake you up next time."  
"Just stay on in your corner and don't move until I say you can and we won't have a problem. That includes moving your mouth, Brat, so don't try it." Grimmjow had half accepted the fact that his friend was now quite determined to sleep on a bed and not a couch. He was quite determined to maintain a majority of the mattress, all he could occupy in one moment, as his own. She could have the edges. Someone always ate the scraps.

"Well, good luck with that." Kira stared at him across the counter. "I'm going out. Feel free to sit on the couch and brood."

"Like hell I'm going to do what you recommend."  
"Just to piss me off?"  
"Obviously."  
"Fine." Pause. "Okay, I have something to ask you." The Novena leant forward on her elbow and pointed vaguely at the Sexta. Her expression was curious, mischievous, and something else."Why then, did you kiss me?"

Grimmjow watched her from the corner of his eye as he finished a carton of milk. He was smirking smugly, laughing so lowly it was a barely audible grumble. He told her, amusedly, to eff off.

0

Half an hour later, Kira was wandering towards the front door as she pulled a vest over her otherwise plain white t-shirt. Humans called it the 'militant' look. Little black accessory with little gold buttons and woven details. Kira called it a vest and a shirt.

Frankly, she was feeling a little bland. Since coming to the human world, she'd noticed that they had such a high standard for appearance. Some of the girls in some of the advertisements on TV didn't even look natural. It was perplexing. Kira knew it was nice to make an effort to look nice, but everyone seemed to be trying to look like everyone else. She always thought you should dress to what suits you best, not to what suits a designer in a glass building.

The Novena paused just before the door. "Oi! Are you coming or what?"  
The front door opened and Grimmjow glared at her. "I was about to ask you the same question, but not in such a polite manner."

Kira stepped past him and pulled the door shut. "I thought I told you to stay home and brood."  
"I thought I told you I ain't doing anything you recommend."

"I don't recommend jumping off a cliff."  
"How high is this cliff?"

Kira half smiled and shoved him in a nearly playful way. "No, you don't get it."  
"Csh."  
"I'm doing this for Orihime Inoue."

"What?" He nearly growled.

"She fixed my scars and said that to make us equal; I had to come to this fair thing."

"What's with you and equality?"  
"No one is equal in ability, but they're all equal in life. We're all alive."  
"Okay, you shut your face now and I will consider not beating you into a faceless pulp this afternoon."  
"Didn't you hear, Grimmjow? I'm fixed. I don't think you'll come close to creating pulp of any sort."

"Dream on, idiot."

Kira smiled to herself. It was amazing how much an injury can destroy your confidence. It could completely destroy what you knew yourself to be, rob you of your ability through the belief that those abilities no longer existed. The Novena had been limited by her wounds, but she was still powerful. She didn't believe it though.

"Which Shinigami pair is following us?" Kira mentioned vaguely.

"The white haired boy and the bitchy, PMS affected woman."  
"Hisaguya and Soi Fon?"  
"Call them what you want, that's what they are to me."  
"Right." Pause. "And I'm a brat to you?"  
"Baka. Yes."

"Oh, you are so getting a fist in the gut."

Grimmjow reached his hand out sideways and planted it on Kira's head. She stopped and stood with a suffered expression on her face. Her eyes slid to him and she waited. The man shoved her slightly and Kira swatted him away as soon as his grip left her skull.  
The Novena smoother her hair down. "You'll call me my real name soon enough."  
"Which is?"  
"Don't play the ass."

It was silent for the rest of the way. Not uncomfortable, just quiet. The fair was being held on the Karakura High School grounds. The front of the school was laden with people with flyers, booths with food, cultural exhibits, stalls selling novelty items and entertainment. The back was a twisted mess of a cheap rollercoaster, a Ferris Wheel and a carousel with red, blue, yellow and black horses. Games had been set up and a man on stilts wandered around with a small wooden flute.

Kira had never quite seen anything like it. There was so much colour and life crammed into such a small place. The little pathways were all filled with bits and pieces of broken grass, the people were all affected by the colour and music spewing from the place. It was lively. It was fun. It was fun but it was not destructive.

The Novena was thinking about this when a person dressed in a large bear suit toddled over and embraced her. Kira stiffened and wondered at the sudden closeness of an individual who smelt of mothballs and musk. The bear let her go, waved silently and moved off to its next victim.

Grimmjow put his hand out and flattened it against the chest of the large figure. "Don't even try it." He hissed.

The bear rubbed is face, pretending to cry, and moved off quickly. The Sexta watched it, his hands in his pockets, his face apathetic.

"I just got assaulted by a large plush toy." Kira said flatly. "I just got assaulted by a stranger in a bear suit."

"Get over it, its your fault." Grimmjow replied sedately. "Where's Kurosaki?"  
"You want him to know you're here?"  
The Sexta smiled. "Oh yes." His voice was rough, entertained. "I do."

"I have my eye on you. If you get me kicked out of my chance with Soul Society, I will rip your liver out."  
"You're such a little lady."  
Kira glared at him sharply.

"Sato-san! You came!" Orhime's bell-like voice carried through the crowd. "I'm so glad!" The red-head wore jeans and a shirt that couldn't help but be tight fitting in places.

"I said I would come." Kira replied steadily. "How long do you expect me to be here?"  
"There's fireworks when it gets dark. You have to stay for that."  
"Right." Pause. "You know Grimmjow."

Orhime hesitated at the name. "H…hai. I'm glad you both came."  
"Seriously?" Grimmjow scoffed. "Don't worry; I'm not here to kill your boyfriend. Yet."  
"Um…"

"Ignore him. His moods give everyone whiplash. Just let him be an ass today." Kira said more to him than to her. "He wasn't even supposed to come."  
"You practically invited me."  
"By telling you to stay home?"  
"Baka."

Kira gave him a long suffering look. "Well, if this goes till dark you don't get to beat me to a pulp this afternoon. So ha."

"Oh, ouch. You're pathetic."

"Um…so…you guys should just explore and have fun." Orihime said carefully. "I'm sure the Shinigami are around, so you shouldn't do anything rash. I have to be at the Photo Booth for a little while, but I'll come find you later. Everyone else is around here too."  
"Wait." Kira stopped the girl. "You're leaving?"  
"No, Sato-san." The girl raised her hands defensively. "I'll still be here. But I need to run a stall for a couple hours to gain extra credits. I didn't think you would be here until later, so I signed on for this time…"

"Credit?"  
"To get good marks."  
"For what?"  
"School."  
"Oh. Why?"  
"So I can get into a good college and get a good job and make my brother proud of me."

"Your brother?"

"Hai." There was an awkward pause on Orhime's part. "Did…do you…know him?"

At this, even Grimmjow raised an eyebrow.

Kira hesitated. "Is he in Hueco Mundo?"  
"He…well…"  
"Is that why you're more accepting of…our kind?"  
"Inoue!" A girl with glasses called over the crowd, breaking the conversation. "Hurry up! We need you now!"

"Hai! Coming." The red-head turned to the Espada and bowed quickly. "Sorry, I will see you soon. I am so very glad you came." And with that she vanished.

Kira crossed her arms and watched the girl go. Whether or not her brother was still an occupant of Hueco Mundo, she knew something. She had known him as a Hollow or as an Adjucas or as something other than a regular soul or a Shinigami. She'd known him as something from their world, recognised him, maybe even had him recognise her…if that sort of link was possible for a recently deceased person, then surely…

"Oi, Brat. Shut your frickin' mind off. I've told you before, it pisses me off."

Kira cocked her head slightly sideways and surveyed the fairground. "She had a brother."  
"Yeah. I heard. If you're going to hang onto my heel and whine about it all day, expect a kick in the face."

The girl was silent. Contemplative. Nearby, Rukia Kuchiki, dressed in her gigai, had been listening. Kira knew of the Shinigami's presence. She was part of the crowd, a smell one couldn't help but miss. So pure it burned. The Novena glanced over her shoulder at the raven haired girl and caught her eye.

She'd heard. Possibly even remembered. The expression on her face said that maybe, she wished she hadn't.

0

It had been early afternoon when Grimmjow and Kira arrived on the school grounds. Ten minutes later, Kurosaki knew they were there. He was furious, frustrated and tense. He confronted Yoruichi, Urahara, Soi Fon…anyone he could find. They were all silent on the topic, as if they thought the Espada should be there; no matter how risky.

Kira had wandered a few feet away from Grimmjow and was eyeing a table of fake tattoos. They stuck on with water. One said 'diva', another said 'bad boy' and the rest were all just as generic. Black flames, love hearts, Hello Kitty…etc. The young man behind the table smiled.

"Anything catch your eye?"  
"These come off over time?"  
"Hai, they do. So your parents wont kill you and your friends will think you're cool."  
"Tattoos are cool?"  
"Well…if you don't think so then no…" He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Huh." Kira glanced up at him. "Thank you."

She stood straight just as Grimmjow loomed up behind her. She knew he was there by the expression on the young man's face.

"They do fake tattoos here." She mentioned.

"There are no numbers."  
"Well, you can't fake that."  
"Csh." Grimmjow pushed Kira lightly on the shoulder. "Move on."

"Hey, we're not here together. You're just here and I'm just here and we just happen to be in the same place." Kira responded.

"Get over it."

"No, wait. He was kinda cute anyway."  
"The boy at the tattoo table?"  
"Yeah, some sweet charm. I don't experience sweet charm at all."

"It comes off in the wash, just like the crap he's pushing."

"Well, could you stop pushing me?" She didn't actually think the boy was attractive. She hadn't even looked really. Kira turned sharply and smacked Grimmjow's hand off her shoulder. "Do you have money? I'm thirsty and the blood of humans is quite off limits."

"Get your own freaking money and lay of the theatrics. You don't even like blood; you just poke your enemy and walk away."

"Poke them? Like with my sharp sticky thing?" She mocked.

Grimmjow grunted and was silent.

"I'm going to find a Shinigami and get money. Get lost or something, alright?"

"Piss off."

"I'm glad we understand each other." She smiled and vanished into the crowd.

The Novena walked towards the school, where crowds were thinner and where it was easier to threaten to yell 'Shinigami!' and not get instantly cut down for it. Matsumoto appeared before a word had been uttered. She was in a gagai. Half the crowd were probably Shinigami.

"You need something, Sato-san?"  
"Money."

"How much?"  
"Are we on an allowance or something?"  
"Well…what do you want?"  
"Money for here. You Shinigami are wonderful at stocking the fridge but really horrible and ensuring that we have enough when we go out."  
"Well, it's a subtle hint." Espada going out on the town? Not such a bright idea.  
"Hint taken. I'm doing this for Orhime."

"Inoue-san?"  
Kira extended her hand and waited quietly, not prepared to indulge the vice-captain with the details.

The other woman pulled out a few notes and folded them into the pale palm. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off.

"Thank you." The Novena replied steadily before walking straight back into the crowd.

Matsumoto stood where she was left and stared after the dark haired figure weaving in and out of the throng. No one moved to avoid her, but people did seem cautious. She did look different, the green eyes and the sharp features though not as obvious as Kurosaki's orange hair, made her different. Not that her character didn't already scream that.

You cant change the nature of someone who has lived in an environment as harsh as Hueco Mundo. They become wired, they evolve and adapt. And then when they come to a new environment, they maintain that original mould and change it just a bit in order to survive the new place. Or they cease to exist. It was not a complicated situation or solution.

Kurosaki had been hunting for the Espada since he had heard that they had arrived. He knew the girl was coming, but he didn't know Grimmjow would be there. Rukia had told him of their presence, she could sense reiatsu better than he could and theirs practically seeped above the crowd. It was lighter, it was overpowering, and it was turned on low. It was a low growl, letting the Shinigami know that they were not relaxed.

The colours of the fair, the laughing the whirring of mechanics, the smell of sickly sweet foods; it was all lost on the knowledge that the Espada were there.

The substitute Shinigami spotted Kira first. Her eyes caught his attention first; she was glancing around and taking the environment in. The green was striking, he'd never quite noticed before. It was not a feline green or a human green or something from a catalogue. It was…natural.

The Novena had just purchased a drink from a vendor and was peeling the plastic wrapping away from a straw. Her face was open and she was taking everything in, absorbing it like a sponge. Watching and observing as if she were reading a book. She walked right past the young man.

Kurosaki reached out and grabbed her arm. His touch instantly lessened and his grip turned into a simple hand on the elbow. The change had happened the moment he realised the contact. She hadn't blocked him and she obviously had the capacity to. The girl had let him reach out to touch her.

"Yes?" Kira turned slowly to him.

"I…um…" Kurosaki had to stop for a moment. "What are you intentions in this place?"

She lifted her eyebrows slightly. "I told Orhime Inoue that I would come."  
"Why?"  
Her expression fell. "You know why."  
"So you have to pay back every deed done to you?"

"Don't you pay for the services you obtain?"

"Well, most of the time. But there is such a thing as a favour."  
"Not between our worlds."

"Why don't you go back there?"

Silence. Kira ran her fingernail around the rim of her drink bottle. "Kurosaki, you frighten me." She turned her eyes straight on him. "You are unlike any other being I have ever encountered, and in my line of…work…I come in contact with a lot of creatures. Humans, souls, hollow in every stage of their development, Shinigami…but you are none of those and you possess the powers of every single one."

"What?"He stepped back unconsciously.

"I don't think even you know what you are, that is why you can't work out what I am."  
"Then tell me, what are you?"

"I'm the same as you. Halfway between two very different worlds."  
"That isn't all you are."

"I'm a girl." She said smoothly, without conflict and without hesitation.

"And Grimmjow, what is he?" The young mans voice was bitter.

"Grimmjow's a jack-ass. You know that." She half smiled.

"Then why do you stay with him?"  
Kira laughed once quietly. "I get the feeling that your abrupt and pig-headed behaviour gets on the nerves of some people, even those who are around you, and yet you still find a lot of friends willing to invade your personal space. Maybe even if just to have them invade yours too."

"What are you to him?"  
"Kurosaki Ichigo, I might be frightened of you, but I don't dislike you. Please, withdraw all your previous judgements of me and start afresh. I am not your enemy."

"Then what the hell is with the cold, distant, killer-type demeanour?"  
"What is with that being all you allow yourself to see?"

"Oi, Brat." Grimmjow's voice sandpapered itself from behind. "If even a whiff of Kurosaki gets to you, I will pull you apart and destroy all the pieces." His eyes were on the Shinigami's. "Savvy?"

"Well, that's disappointing. He and I were just beginning to understand each other." She replied, her gaze also on Ichigo.

The redhead was tense and glaring and instantly angry.

"Don't play your mind-games on my victim." Grimmjow rumbled.

Kira crossed an arm over her waist. "I'm not saying sorry."

"You will be."

"He'll be at the fireworks tonight, with Orhime, wont he?" She asked Ichigo, not Grimmjow.

"I'll be there." The young man replied steadily. His eyes shot to the Sexta Espada's. "I don't step down from a threat."

"Good." Grimmjow hissed. "Piss off, Kurosaki."

Very quickly, Rukia was there. "Move." She pushed her friend away, muttering things at him as she went. "Step away now, Ichigo."

Grimmjow rolled his neck and shoulder blades as he watched the pair leave.

Kira sipped her drink through a straw, only to have it abruptly taken from her hands. The straw got put between her fingers a moment later, shortly followed by the sound of empty plastic being crushed.

Grimmjow threw the bottle after Kurosaki. It hit him in the back of the head, earning a fuming reaction that the Sexta Espada could cherish for the rest of the day. He was delighted by such…little things.

Kira turned around sharply and threw the straw in Grimmjow's face. "Seriously, if you want your own juice just say so."

"Shut up." He replied gruffly before turning away from her and walking the opposite direction to Kurosaki Ichigo.

The Novena trotted after him like a little curious fox following a stormy wolf. "Want to do something?"

He glanced at her.

"They have a Sideshow Ally."  
Silence.  
"They have a sling-shot."

"Then get in and don't bother to strap up."  
"I've been in the Real World for longer than you have. I know things that you don't, like how to work a juice-box. I even know how to use Google."

"Why are you so…bouncy and annoying right now?"  
"Adrenaline rush. I thought you were going to kill Kurosaki and destroy all hope I have of finding out just why you and I are stuck together. Then you did something childish like throw a bottle at his head. It wasn't even glass."  
"We ain't stuck together."  
"No, that's right. You keep telling me to push off but I don't see you leaving either."  
"Why should I have to leave?"  
"If you don't like it, then you leave. You've always done that. Well, you destroy it first and you didn't do that to me, you dragged my sorry arse to an old warehouse."

The Sexta growled at her.

"I once read something that said 'Go unto all the world and preach the Gospel. If necessary, use words.' It was in the front of one of my stolen books. I don't know what the Gospel is, but they do have a point about not having to use words."

"Then shut up."

Kira smiled and slid into silence. The pair walked side by side for a long time, just in and out of the stalls, pathways, stages and rides that the extremely limited school fundraiser. The lights of the gaming arcade, the people smiling from the Ferris Wheel; it was very lively. Life seemed to relax everyone.

Kira and Grimmjow didn't play any games, ride any rides or buy any merchandise. They were just there, just at the show, just watching.

Orihime found them sitting under a large tree on the edge of the school grounds just as the sun began to slip down. She'd been searching for a while, especially after being told by Kurosaki to watch herself around the pair. The girl had seen Shinigami flitting in and out of the crowd, some in gigai some in uniform.

Inoue approached the Espada cautiously, like a deer the moment before it's trapped by a set of headlights. Kira was sitting with her hair twisted over her shoulder, one leg straight and one leg bent, her head resting against the trunk of the tree. Grimmjow was a short distance away, ninety-degrees to the Novena with his knees up and his forearms resting on them. Both of them watched the human approach.

"Sato-san, I've been looking for you. The sun is about to go down and I was worried you'd left before the fireworks."

"I said I would stay." Kira replied as she exhaled.  
Orhime let out a very awkward laugh. "Um, so, the show will start as soon as it's dark. If you want good seats they…"  
"Don't fireworks explode in the sky?" Kira said, not breaking her gaze with Grimmjow.

"H…hai?"  
"Then we just need to see the sky, right?"

"Well…um…yes." Orhime tucked her hair behind her ear. "But don't you want to come and meet some people?"  
"Who will be there?"  
"Ishida-san, Chad-san, Kurosaki-kun, Rukia-san…"  
"Kurosaki knows we'll be watching the show. It would be more interesting if he didn't know from where. You can go live your life, Orhime. I won't bother you again."

"I…Sato-san, I hoped that…that maybe we could be friends."

Kira moved her eyes slowly to the girl, her tone was quiet. "Maybe in another life."

"H…hai." Orhime bowed quickly before scurrying off.

Grimmjow let out a "Csh" and crossed his arms.

"Don't say that was pathetic." Kira stated evenly.

"I haven't said a word."

Silence.

"You seriously going to stay for the fireworks?"  
"I said I would."  
"You're not the sort of creature who has to keep their word."

"You kept yours."

"Eh?"  
"You promised you wouldn't die. You even went as far as letting make sure you kept that promise." Pause. "And vice-versa."

Grimmjow said nothing.

"It just goes on and on and on, doesn't it?" Kira watched the orange sky as the sun set. "It's just prettier than the one we knew, isn't it?"  
The man grunted.

"Apparently some of the colour comes from pollution. The hazy pinks and oranges. Maybe sin, once forgiven, can be something beautiful." Kira glanced down at her fingernails. "Did you ever actually think about what I said a long time ago? About us maybe having known each other before any of this?"  
Silence.

"It's a nice thought. It means we each got someone who would invade our personal space when we needed it to be."  
Silence.

"I know I go the long and thoughtful way about it, but I'm trying to say I'm glad I met you, whenever that was."

Grimmjow made a small noise. A near-snort. He had resumed his arms on knees characteristic posture, his face was blank and his eyes remained the colour of ice. Somewhere in that demeanour slid the idea of 'Ditto', not that he would ever, ever, ever say it. Even to himself.

0

Kira stood two minutes into the fireworks show and stretched her arms above her head. She started to move off easily, taking long steps toward the school boundary. A thunk reached the ground on the other side of the fence before she did.

Grimmjow stood there in his jeans and white shirt. "You're slow." He mentioned.

"I'm not trying to keep up."  
"Then you're taking it slow, and that's even worse."

Kira drove her shoulder into his arm. He didn't even stumble. He just diverted his path sideways for a moment.

The second after, Grimmjow shot his arm out and shoved her. The Novena caught herself with the fence they had just climbed over. The other Espada was sauntering along ahead as if he had never been with anyone in the first place. Solitary animals are like that. Always alone, even when with someone. Always independent, even with a mate.

Kira glanced at a noise behind them. Two men and a woman were laughing, their tongues loosed by alcohol and their moods eager and free. The Novena heard one call out.

"Oi! Lady!" The one said.

The girl stopped walking and half turned to them, waiting. She was in an easy mood, not relaxed, but calm.

"Hey." The first man said warmly. "You're not from around here." His words were a little long and fuzzy.

"No, I'm from far away."  
"Is poetry big where you come from?"  
"What?" Kira blinked.

"I got a poem for ya."

"Oh." She saw the other man and the woman standing a few steps back, chattering to each other wildly.

"Yeah. Okay." He readied himself, obviously still in the bar in his mind. "'Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six if you'll be the nine'." He winked. "How about it?"  
Kira frowned. "Wait, what?"

"I'll be number six, number nine."

The girl was a little confused. "You're number six?"  
"I sure am." He smiled drunkenly.

A short, malicious laugh erupted behind the Novena. "Like hell you are."

"Who are you?" The man gave Grimmjow a once over.  
"I'm the Sexta and you're a joke." He was plenty delighted at the vague territorial dispute.

"Eh? Dude, I don't think you understand what I'm saying. Anyway, it's none of your business."  
Grimmjow's smile gleamed. "Oh, you threatening my number is every single ounce my business."

Kira crossed her arms as her friend continued to get himself involved.

"You were right about one thing though, Kira's the ninth. She shouldn't be, but the standards dropped and she slid through the cracks." The man seemed to enjoy teasing the drunk human with his words. They wouldn't understand. The Shinigami nearby weren't doing anything.

Grimmjow gabbed the man by his collar. "I'm going to stick my hand down your throat to retract your little poem, savvy?" He was pleased. He was so overjoyed at the idea of a small punch up. A little release of his bottled up fury.

Kira had not quite realised how long he had gone without fun until that minute. It was the only reasons he didn't intervene. He wouldn't kill the man. Somehow, she was happy for him. He deserved fun, even if the human didn't deserve a knife in the gut.

"Oi, punk. Put me down." The man yelled. "You think you can take me on?"  
"You want to fight?" Grimmjow's teeth gleamed.

"You and me? It won't be much of a fight." The opponent spat on the ground.  
The Espada laughed heartily. "You got that much right." He let the man go. For a moment, the stranger became Kurosaki and Grimmjow felt like he was going to enjoy himself thoroughly.

The moment the human was released, he launched a punch at the blue haired man in front of him. Grimmjow caught his fist in his palm and clamped down around it with his fingers. The man made a short cry of pain before swinging around with the other fist.

The Sexta Espada simply moved his head out of the way before planting his fist against the human jaw. The man landed on the sidewalk just as the woman he had been with screamed and wobbled over. It wasn't even mid-evening and they were already drunk. It was pitiable. The other man, the friend, came charging at Grimmjow.

The Espada caught him by the throat and cast him a sideways, laughing. "Don't you even think about trying to be above what you are, you're all pathetic."

Kira had already started walking away, leaving him to his little moment of decadence. The minute into her own solitude, Grimmjow's footsteps were behind hers. Just as bored and apathetic as ever. "Have fun?"  
He sniffed distantly. "Hardly."  
"You said my name." She stepped in and out of the light of a lamp-post.  
"Yeah? So?"

"You didn't call me Brat."

"Csh."

She elbowed him before quickly wrapping a friendly arm around his torso. Grimmjow thought about breaking it before twisting out of her grip. Before Kira could even glance at him, his arm was draped over her shoulders. The girl scowled and ducked under and away from him.  
There was a short pause before she went to put her arm around him again. He'd already got his back around her shoulders. Kira sighed and shook her head lethargically. The bastard always wanted to be first. She laughed shortly and he shoved her away.

Kira smiled. By the time they had reached the house, she hadn't said anything else. The girl stopped on the porch before opening the door.

"I don't know what that man was saying, but I'm glad you punched him."  
"You're getting to weak to get into a fight."  
"No. Just too polite."

"It's the same thing."

Kira put her hand on the door handle and hesitated. When she looked up, Grimmjow was right in her face. His mouth against hers and his hands on her waist. The Novena kissed him back as she opened the door and somehow ending up inside. Her back was against the inside of the closed door before she how it had happened.

It wasn't because she was nice or because he was in a half-decent mood. It wasn't that they had been together for so long that they owed it to themselves to see if they could be something more. No one was seeing. They were just feeling, or at least Kira was. Though she had never once thought of ever having anything to do with Grimmjow beyond a basic sense…it just…slipped and now she was sliding down a path knew but didn't want to stop venturing down. It was the way she was going and his path was parallel, just closer than before. So close it was almost like one big road instead of two separate ways.

But her mind got to her first. Kira inhaled shakily as he broke away from her. She shivered as his teeth brushed against the curve of her neck and waited for her head to settle. It came close, but never quite got there.

"Grimmjow…" She said into the unlit house. "Grimmjow, stop." Her voice was soft and low.

He didn't stop. They were so close. He was warm and right there.

"Grimmjow, how many girls have you been with?"  
That stopped him. "What?"

"In the Real World, they have this animal called a penguin. When it realises it's found its partner, they stay partners for the rest of their lives. You'll never be held accountable by me, but you'd be my partner and I don't think that..."

"What the hell is a penguin?"  
"It's like a bird." Their voices were hardly whispers. The lights in the house remained off. "And we're more like cats. You're a big jaguar and I'm a flimsy cheetah. And…"

He cut her off by pressing his finger against her lip. "You want to make it all official and put a ring on it?" His tone was sarcastic.  
"You've never…" His arms were now beside her waist, trapping her between him and the doorway. "This is very out of character."  
"Doing whatever the hell I want is very in character."  
"But you've stopped to listen to what I want."

He stared at her. "What? You want to be Brat or you want to be Kira?"  
"Aren't I both?"

"So you want to be a penguin?" His eyes were just as flat and his voice just as rough.  
She didn't stand down from him, she kept level. "Well, you'd be my penguin too."  
"I don't belong to anyone."  
"Neither do I."

"Csh."

"I thought I pissed you off?"  
"Why are you still talking?"  
Kira's voice dropped gently as she exhaled. "I don't know."

"Shut up." He kissed her again.

"I just…" She leaned away from him a minute later. It all made so much sense and yet so little at the same time.  
"I see you telling me off, but I don't see you getting your hands off me."  
The Novena paused. "Grimmjow...why are you…"

"I told you to shut up."

"I don't take orders from you, you stubborn ass."  
"It ain't an order, Brat."

"It just doesn't seem like you and me."  
"It's never been you and me. It's been you and then it's been me."  
"That's the…"

"Kira, shut up." He hissed. "I'm going to pull you apart if you don't shut your whiney trap and turn your freaking thought track of. Hai?"

The Novena blinked slowly. They'd known each other for years upon years upon years. This…all seemed a bit fast. Everything else had been progressive, but they'd never really had to say anything about it. It just happened.

And now this just happened. But this was above and beyond camaraderie. This was something more. It meant something entirely different. They would actually be a pair. Like what humans were when they got married. Married. You had to love someone to get married. No one had said anything about love.

Until death do us part, maybe. The Espada were different to humans. Grimmjow had probably seen his fair share of girls in the past, Kira wasn't going to be just another. She'd always been there and he couldn't make her leave, it never happened. They always came back.

Romance this was not. It was a whole new dimension. On an island somewhere in the world exists a culture where you can marry a person by saying "I marry you, I marry you, I marry you" and you can divorce them by saying "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you."

Grimmjow growled at her hesitation and bit her ear. Kira pushed his face away before planting her hand in his chest.

She wouldn't be his little girlfriend. If anything, she would be his mate. They would come and go and come and go but always end up with each other. It would be as it always was, just with that extra depth. The trust was there, just not spoken, the understanding, the everything else. None of it verbalised. A lot of other things were there too, unconventional things. They weren't human and that whole matrimony thing would not go down with them at all.

But there were cases where individuals found another and did not trade them for anything else; they found the other and stayed with the other by will or otherwise. Kira and Grimmjow had already reached that point, they reached it long ago whether they realised it or not.

* * *

_Well, I hope you enjoyed this instalment of Au Fait. Please let me know what you thought, all reviews are much appreciated. I will try to reply to all of them. Also, if anyone is out of character let me know and I will endeavour to fix it as well as I possibly can. _

_Quite often the characters write themselves, I just put words to the actions. I find it very difficult to force a story to the direction I want it to go and thus, every 'notable' event has a purpose. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge. He he. Right?_

_To those who have reviewed and haven't received a reply from me, I am incredibly sorry. My recovery is not going quite as well as I would hope, but it is no reason to leave reviewers hanging. I really do love reading and replying to each message and I hate that I haven't been able to do much this week. I promise to get on top of it ASAP. _

_So, smile and review and I'll smile and reply.  
Thanks for reading. _

_Blessings, _

_-P. _


	11. Chapter 9

"_Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 percent of all your happiness or misery."_

_- H. Jackson Brown Jr._

**Chapter 9**

Morning.

Kira stretched her feet down and her hands up, her spine flexing as she stretched herself awake. The motion lasted a slow second before becoming still again. The Novena slid her feet to the floor and rolled her shoulder blades slowly. It felt like she had slept forever. It felt nice to be rested for once. For once in such a long time.

The girl stood and lifted onto the balls of her feet swiftly before dropping back down and walking downstairs. The living room smelt musky; the window hadn't been opened since yesterday morning. Kira moved to the kitchen and lifted the glass, letting the cool air in.

She ran her fingers through her hair and opened a cabinet above the stove. The rustling of plastic revealed a loaf of white bread. This was shortly followed by the sound of the toaster locking itself down and trapping its gluten filled victim between two glowing red grills.

Kira found a glass, a bottle of milk, a tub of margarine and a pear. By the time this was done, her toast popped up and was set on a regular looking white plate. The sound of a knife scraping condiments onto cooked bread grated around the room. A sharp clang rang out as it landed in the sink.

The Novena turned the TV on and leant the corner of her hip on the kitchen bench to watch morning television. All it was, most of the time, was people trying to sell cookers and makeup and gym equipment. It made her wonder what was wrong with going to a store and getting them outside the four walls of a house.

A minute of morning shuffle later, the second figure emerged from upstairs. He went straight to the for her glass of milk, leaning past her with the other arm and dropping the other beside her as he did so, creating a human barrier she had to cross to get away.

Kira had been holding her toast casually aloft. It got bitten into by Grimmjow and nearly destroyed in the process. She looked at him as he took it easily from her.

"Get your own food. This is my food." She grumbled.  
"Say what you want. I don't have to believe it." He leant in and pressed his mouth to the top of her neck, just below her ear. For someone with such a stony attitude, be it landslide or landscape, he was surprisingly lifelike.

Kira closed her eyes and inhaled slowly for just a moment before ducking under his arm. She slid her breakfast easily from his hand as she wandered over to the sofa with a mischievous grin on her face.

"I'm putting money on the Shinigami coming to us with their decision today." The girl said casually.

"You haven't got any money, Baka."  
"Want to bet?" She glanced at him and folded herself into her seat.

Grimmjow shook his head once to dismiss her before going about feeding himself. "Don't get all perky and joyous just because you think you'll get into Soul Society. It's giving me a headache."

"You just gave me an invitation to be perky and joyous."

He glared flatly at her, the rest of his figure apathetic. A minute later, his weight redistributed her claim of the couch and put her in a corner.

The girl paused, brushed a crumb off her knee and watched the carpet. "You know…"  
"Shut up."

Kira blinked regularly. "I get it." She sat up straight and tucked her feet under herself. "I'm not your punching bag."  
"Shush, Brat." He wasn't annoyed or anything, he just wasn't the type to express some things out loud.

The Novena put a hand on his arm. He didn't react. "This is how it always was." No one had noticed. No one. "Can you tell?"  
Grimmjow was silent. He was watching the television, his body leant comfortably back against the back of the sofa.

Kira turned herself sideways to face him. She slid her hand up the side of his jaw and turned his head to her lightly. He hadn't killed her. He'd killed or discarded everyone who had been anything close to her. Even in the months hunting on the sands with nothing but hunger, he hadn't consumed her even then.

He was right about it never being a 'him and her' thing. There was him and there was her. There was his path and hers. There was his life and there was hers. He would wander where he would and she would venture to her adventures. And in the end, they'd always found themselves on the same stretch of highway heading in the same direction, just watching. Travelling and watching and letting the silence stretch until it was comfortable.

Kira kissed Grimmjow silently. They were so close now that he could just blink and eliminate her existence. The way her breath was cool against his skin didn't calm his wicked temper, the way her body was warm didn't melt his heart and the thoughtfulness of her function didn't change his character at all. Rather, it was understood better. Or not even that. It was simply accepted.

That was the freedom of a relationship. Any relationship. If there is part of someone's character that causes detriment, then it should be mended without limiting the person. If there is a part of someone's character that cannot be mended, that is their character, then they are a soul.

Urahara and Ichigo stepped onto the small concrete porch of the matchbox house. Rukia was a few feet behind with Hitsaguya, Matsumoto and a small escort of black-clad Shinigami. They were silent. They waited.

Kurosaki was the first to snap the quiet. "This isn't right."

"This is what is best." Kisuke replied calmly. "This is the decision of the Goeti 13 and of Soul Society."  
"This is wrong." The boy hissed.

"Maybe. But if it can set things right, then surely its okay." The store-owners voice dropped to a decibel above a whisper. He put his hand on the door handle and opened the house.

The Shinigami walked into the hallway, they saw the lounge and smelt the air of the neighbours garden through the kitchen window. The fridge was humming continually and a cardigan hung itself on the railing that lead upstairs.

"What do you want?" Grimmjow's rough voice grated through the room. He didn't even look at the Shinigami, he just stood beside the kitchen bench, his hands in his pockets and his eyes locked on Kurosaki.

"Where is Sato-san?"

"Here." The Novena's voice appeared from the bottom of the staircase. She hadn't even been heard coming down. Her spidery fingers were busy twisting her hair over her shoulder as she watched them openly.

Urahara turned to the girl. "We have news from Soul Society."

"What kind of news?"  
"Well, that's for you to interpret."

"Right. Go on." She wandered past the black clad group and towards the kitchen.

"You've been allowed restricted access to Soul Society." Urahara said steadily. "You will be under the care of Mayuri Kurotsuchi, Captain of the 12th Division and president of the Research Institute. If we're going to be honest, it was his interest in your theories that pushed the decision to its outcome. That and the possibility of your skills being used to prepare Soul Society for the return of Aizen. You are very fortunate to have been offered this by so few, many were opposed."  
"Not enough, apparently." Ichigo said viciously.

Kira met Urahara's eye. "What other access do we have to Soul Society and what sort of research are we talking about?"  
The shop-keeper held her gaze. "You will be given a house just outside the Research Facility, all your food will be provided for you and the supervision of a Captain their Vice-Captain will be provided at all times. As for the research, you'll have to talk to Mayuri."

The Novena got the feeling that the Shinigami was hiding something about the 12th Captain, but somehow disregarded it easily. "A Captain in my company at all times? That idea I am not fond of."  
"They won't be in your presence; they will be stationed nearby along with other seated-member Shinigami from their division monitoring your reiatsu."

Kira nodded once, silently. "And this one?" She motioned Grimmjow with her head. "What will you do with this one?"  
"It depends."

"Depends on what?"  
"Whether or not he'll go to Soul Society too."  
"I ain't got no interest in your truce." Grimmjow said flatly.

"Then you will be removed from the Real World." Kurosaki said sternly. "All traces of your existence here will be erased."  
Kira held a hand up to still the red-head. "With all due respect, Kurosaki, you cannot erase Grimmjow."

"He can try." The Sexta said darkly, mischeviously.  
Kurosaki ignored him and addressed Kira. "Why is that?" He hissed.

"It is my belief that he is a crucial part of whatever idea I have formulated about the origin of a Hollow's soul."  
"Hollow have no soul."  
"Prove it." She threatened.

"I don't care what none of you say. I ain't taking part in some Shinigami science project unless I get something out of it."Grimmjow took his hands out of his pockets.

"Then you choose to die." Ichigo stared right through Kira and into his enemy without realizing he'd just given the Sexta plenty of incentive.

The Espada's eyes narrowed momentarily. "Don't jump to conclusions, Kurosaki." Grimmjow grinned. "I won't die before you, and you'll die pleading for me to kill you. Until then, I'd like nothing better than to piss you off. I'll be in Soul Society making my presence known just as I did the other night." His tone was threatening.

Ichigo clenched his fist and took a sharp step forward. "I wont allow it."  
"I'm sorry, Kurosaki. If they both choose to go to Soul Society, then you cannot challenge the final decision of the Goeti 13."

"Watch me." He was livid. "This is wrong."

"Bring it on, Kuroskai." Grimmjow smiled wickedly, taunting the Shinigami.

Kira turned to the Sexta Espada. "The deal is to go and be part of the Research, whatever that entails. You can't come unless you do that."

His icy eyes locked right onto hers. The man's chest vibrated as he growled silently at her. However, that was the option. Go through the door that had just been opened or die in the room you would lock yourself in for not having moved forward.

"If you're going to be there to piss Kurosaki off, you might as well entertain me by pissing me off too."

Grimmjow's expression lightened and became delightedly sinister. He laughed.

0

An hour later, Kira sat in the middle of the house's only bed. Her legs were crossed and her back was arched over as she focused on a book that sat between her knees. The girl hardly glanced up as a cloud of steam seeped out of the opening door of the bathroom.

Silence.

The mattress sank slightly as Grimmjow sat himself down and stared blankly ahead.

"What are you brooding about?" Kira mentioned as she turned the page of her book.

"Csh." He warned her off.

"You don't want to go. You hate not being in control. You hate having all the odds stacked against you, even if you'll take them on anyway. You hate Kurosaki and Shinigami and most of all you hate the idea that maybe they won."  
"No one's won anything yet."  
"No one's fighting." Kira exhaled slowly. "But, even though I'm going for selfish reasons and reasons that annoy you beyond life itself, I'm glad you're coming."  
Grimmjow growled lowly. He'd been in a dark mood ever since leaving Las Noches. The Real World was not their world and Soul Society wasn't a viable option. Displacement will throw the strongest person.

"You'll get to fight plenty of Shinigami." Kira mused. "They'll want to fight us to prepare for the other Arrancar they'll have to deal with."  
"You're pissing me off."

The Novena was quiet. She put her book aside and shifted herself. Grimmjow didn't respond at all to her when she leant herself against his back and hooked her chin over his shoulder. Her arms slid around his torso as her forehead fitted itself against the end of his collarbone and the beginning of his throat.

Kira knew she was overstepping so many lines and probably shortening her life. But honestly, she was anxious and it felt like she was about to walk into her nightmares properly. And she couldn't stop. The only time she'd ever been able to survive her dreams was when she was close to him. Close to the scariest, deadliest, angriest, most destructive son of a bitch in the universe. She didn't know what he felt about her, probably nothing he'd every say unless it was something to do with ripping her arms off.

Grimmjow's chest rumbled. "This is how you get killed."The news about Soul Society had sunk deep into him. Gosh how he hated the idea of working with the Shinigami. He wanted to thrash the nearest soul into oblivion.

"You've never killed me."  
There was a sharp, quick moment as the Sexta moved himself out of the Novena's grip. Kira ended up on her back, staring right up at him. His expression was unmoved.

"I'll kill you right now." His fingers wrapped around her throat. "I'll rip your windpipe out."

"Do you do that to all of your mates?" She said honestly. "Do you kill them all and put them in the recycling?"

Grimmjow locked his eyes on hers. "They're not good enough to be recycled."  
"You have had so many chances to discard me, not that I was ever yours to discard."

"Well, maybe it's your time."  
"Maybe it's time you climbed out of your foul mood and saw an opportunity to grasp that wasn't someone's throat." She shot back. "If they find something about us, things will change. We'll never be friends with the Shinigami, we'll always fight, but it will be different. You'd have your own world and you'd build an empire."

His nails sunk into the skin of her neck before he let her go. Kira lifted her face upward and pressed the corner of her cheekbone the hollow of his cheek and fitted the side of her forehead against his temple.

She was silent. Her hand slipped behind his head and rested there. Neither of them wanted to accept the Shingami's help. But sometimes…sometimes discomfort is required for whatever it is you ardently seek. Kira sought understanding, not knowledge or wisdom, just understanding. Justification even.

Grimmjow sought whatever took his fancy. He sought to destroy those who looked down on him and disrespected him. Aizen had disrespected them all the most. No one throws the Sexta Espada away. And Kurosaki…the very thought of him made Grimmjow growl. Gosh he hated that man. Hated him and wanted nothing more than to enjoy himself as he destroyed the red-head completely. But not yet.

Plans aren't smooth. They have bumps. And if you're not used to the road, and you shouldn't be, then those bumps will sometimes hurt. They'll make you quiet and angsty and they'll bring out the worst in you. The side of your character very few people know.

Grimmjow was restless, furious. Kira was restless, misunderstood.

The Sexta Espada leant away from the girl. He stared at her.

"This is the chance we've been given to show everyone what we really are. You're no monster; you're just a stubborn, quick-tempered brute. Sadistic too, but that won't go down well with the blood-saving Shinigami. We are more than dust, blood and emotions. There's more to living than being alive."

"Why do you always have to talk about shit?"

"Because you don't make a big enough effort to stop me."  
"And what sort of effort would that require?"  
"Taking me apart and burning the pieces. You can either call me mad and leave me, kill me like an enemy or accept me."  
There was a low rumble to the usual roughness of his voice. He was agitated and tense. He needed a good fight. "And what would you have me do?"  
"You've already done it. You didn't choose me and I didn't choose you but somehow, in some twisted and retarded way, we can't get away from each other. Some days I just want to shove you down a really deep pit with spikes at the bottom and others I don't mind that you're always around invading my space."

"Csh."

"The people who are around at the end of the day, those are the ones you make promises with and make them keep those promises even it if means going out of your way to do so. You already said you were my friend and comrade. I'm just saying it out loud for you."

"You've got a big mouth, you know that?"

Kira smiled. "Shut up."

"That's my line." He hissed; his eyebrows knit close together.

If she'd had to choose anyone to be her mate, it wouldn't have been him. Grimmjow was not the sort of person one decided was future bliss material. And he sure as hell wouldn't have picked her. If they'd lived in the modern world, she'd have her studio apartment with its books and its notebooks all filled with the thoughts she had no one to speak to about. He would have whatever he could live in somewhere distant. Somewhere he could come from and go to. And they'd both be quite content.

And then they'd ended up in a small house in the Human World, set up for a trip to Soul Society with their life blood enemies, stuck together like dried superglue and not quite complaining or having too much of a tantrum about it.

Life doesn't work out as planned. Characters don't change just because they find another that won't leave them alone, for better or for worse; they stay who they are because otherwise the other wouldn't stay with them. That wouldn't be the same person and it just wouldn't work.

But for years upon years upon years the empty nights had been not quite so dull and the angry bouts had always been expected, deflected and concluded with a bottle of sake.

They were not the same.

But no two souls are.

0

The Shinigami came the following morning to escort the Espada to Soul Society. The house was silent. Arrancar were used to constant night, they slept when they were tired and awoke when they weren't. The day light hadn't seemed to affect that routine.

Urahara along with Ukitake and Yoruichi made their way upstairs where a soft mingling of reiatsu could be felt. They were sleeping. They knew that the Shinigami were there, but they didn't care to get up and address them. The offer would be open until they took it.

Ukitake was the first to open the door. He looked inside, a very small smile touching his eyes at the sight he saw.

The Novena Espada's tattoo was the first striking contrast, followed by her hair as it tumbled down and across her shoulder-blade's and down her back, just under the fine line of her spine. She was facing away from them, waist down wrapped in a cocoon of manchester.

A heavy arm had forged its way under her waist and climbed up so that its hand could rest on her hip. It was almost a territorial sort of hold. A dominant stance; like he was marking something as his and only his. The man's other arm was behind his head as he lay on his back, facing away from the girl. Her fingers had crossed the width of his chest and latched onto the shoulder opposite to the one the curve of her nose was folded against.

It was a sight no one should have ever seen. Ukitake closed the door quietly and told the others that they weren't quite ready yet. When opposition was met, a gentle word on respect and privacy was raised.

As soon as the door clicked shut, Kira flexed her shoulder blades. Grimmjow's grip on her was tight and the space she had on the mattress was small. Most things never changed.

The Novena stretched her legs, pointing her toes down and lengthening her spine as she did so. Grimmjow growled at her movement.

"Move over." She hissed.

"I told you to stay in your corner, didn't I? So shut up."

Kira planted her hand on the side of his face and pushed him. The few centimeters of pillow space were hardly worth the effort and the response was quite painful. The Sexta Espada pinched the skin on her hip hard.

"You're defiantly not the cuddly type." Kira mentioned flatly. "Of all people, I had to end up with the mattress hogging bastard that threatens to rip my throat out."  
"What do you want? Breakfast in bed? Shut your trap."

"They're here. They're waiting." Kira pushed herself away from him. "Let me go, I'm getting up."

He hissed at her and tightened his arm around her waist.

"Grimmjow." The Novena twisted. "Let. Go. I want to start this wretched thing so it can end and I can know exactly what I want to know and then learn some more without the help or restraint of the Shinigami." Aizen included.

"I am going to crush you like a match if you don't stop moving. Savvy?" He grumbled at her. He knew she couldn't overpower him and, though fast, her speed wouldn't help her in the current situation.

"You selfish brute." Kira glared at him.

He promptly put the hand that had been behind his head over her mouth and told her in plenty of impolite terms to be quiet and stop moving, arguing and being a pain in the ass. She smacked his hand away and buried her face into the pillow with a sigh of disdain.

Kira turned her head to him a minute later, her face level with his shoulder. Grimmjow had his eyes closed, his expression characteristically one of apathy. He wasn't sleeping. He was half brooding, half just doing nothing at all.

The Novena pondered for a moment before deciding that although she was quite comfortable and warm, there was a group of Shinigami waiting downstairs for their departure.

She bit the Sexta Espada on the shoulder. Not hard, but not softly either.

He hissed at her, swore and shoved her away from him. Kira grabbed the blanket as she slipped off the side of the bed and half took him with her as she did so. With a slight scowl of amusement on her face, the Novena stood up and clutched the part of the covers she had in her possession to herself.

"I'm going to have a shower. Don't kill any Shinigami just yet."

"Are you ordering me around?" He was royally pissed.

"No. I'm just…firmly suggesting." She smiled. "Get off your arse."

"And you wonder why I call you a Brat." He said dully, his expression blank.

Kira responded by closing the bathroom door.

When the girl came out of the bathroom, Grimmjow was sitting on the side of the bed, his gigai lying on the floor in a little puddle of abandonment.

It wasn't surprising that the Novena wasn't in hers either. The thing still gave her the creeps.

"Question." Kira stated as she got comfortable in her old Arrancar uniform. "Do you have to brush the teeth outside your mouth as well as those inside?"

"You're so full of shit."

She smiled. "They're going to kill us for taking the gigai off."  
"They're idiots if they hadn't known we would."

Kira exhaled. "They're waiting."

Silence.

"Soul Society is waiting."

Grimmjow's expression turned dark, and then slightly amused. The sixth most powerful Hollow of Huedo Mundo was going to enter the one place they should never go. His game had begun the moment he left Las Noches. He only started seriously playing it the moment he stood from the mattress, sunk his hands into his pockets, rolled his shoulders and grinned wickedly.

He crossed the room easily and wrapped his arm over the shoulders of the single person he could not get rid of. She was like a tattoo. They don't have laser removal in Las Noches. And probably not in Soul Society either; not that they knew anyway.

Kira shoved him with her shoulder. His hand lifted from where it hung above her collarbone and found its place on top of her head. She didn't quite duck away in time and nearly ended up in a headlock.

Things were as they had always been. He was always trying to beat her up, always reminding her that he was more powerful, always mistaking her view of equality as a look of disdain. She was always recovering from his moody whiplash moments, trying to remember exactly why she was friends with him and then trying to realize why they shouldn't be.

They had remained the same through so many evolutions. He was living. She was living. They kept living nearby. They both found their reasons for being alive in their own individual motives, choices and outcomes. And once you find that, you can't un-find it. Not that the other was a reason to live, but it there was that promise not to die.

0

The Shinigami were waiting, some with their hands on the hilts of their swords, some lingering while the Captains calmly standing there.

The girl was the first down the stairs. The sliver of a mask on her face stood out to them. And then the man. The hole in his torso proved that he was a Hollow.

To Kira, it proved that the Shinigami hadn't got to them in time. They owed it to them to see if there was more to their apparently wretched existence.

"Are you ready?" Urahara said evenly. No one in the room was at ease.

The corner of Kira's mouth lifted. "Are you?"

* * *

_And so ends another chapter. The coming chapters will be quite…mentally adventurous. Since starting this story, I have started to form many theories. These theories seem to end up being Kira's, or rather, they are hers to begin with as she is a lot more certain about them than I am. _

_I never intended a relationship to really happen in this story. It's not a fluffy fanfic by any means, Grimmjow lacks that gene entirely. Writing romance makes me feel a little awkward, it's not really my forte. _

_Everything will be tactful. I will not write smut. Ever. Please don't ask._

_If any character is ever out of character, kick me in the skins and make me realize I've gone wrong somewhere and need to go right._

_Please let me know how you've enjoyed the story so far. I really value your input and enjoy replying to all my reviewers. Constructive criticism is more than welcome, an author can always improve and I already know I have a lot of improving to do. _

_Thanks for reading_

_Blessings, _

_P._


	12. Chapter 10

_"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them."_

- _Galileo _

**Chapter 10**

**

* * *

**Senkai Gates, strict security, a procession of Captains and special ops agents. It was all part of the 'transportation' of the Espada to Soul Society.

Grimmjow was walking with his hands his pockets, completely detached. Kira was half a step behind him, the nails of her forefinger and thumb rubbing against each other in anticipation. No one said anything. All that could be heard was the empty sound of footsteps.

Kurosaki was there. Kuchiki, Matsumoto, Yoruichi, Soi Fon, Hitsaguya, Ukitake and then the silent agents under Soi Fon's orders.

A light opened up ahead, the other side of the gate was open to them. Kira took a long stride towards it without consciously realising. It took her shoulder to shoulder with Grimmjow. He didn't look at her and she didn't look at him. Kira could feel his warmth and closeness.

He was hard as stone all the way though. There was no soft spot and trying to find one would be futile; you'd die first. That didn't mean he didn't feel or understand or think or function. It didn't mean he was un-savable or that he needed to be saved at all.

In the silent moments in the time before leaving for Soul Society, Kira knew she wouldn't change him even if she could. Just as she wouldn't change herself. If he was different, he wouldn't be Grimmjow and then she'd have never met him. Which, for a brief moment, actually seemed like it could have been a much better idea.

The light of Soul Society grew larger and brighter as the group grew closer. The outline of paved streets, traditional houses and blue sky. The air was cool and smelt of Jasmine. Spring had arrived.

And then they were amongst it all. The sun was high, there were trees peeping from behind the high walls of various home sites and everywhere the Shinigami stood. Black clad men and women lined the street, staring, waiting, watching.

Kira glanced at them. Some looked as if they were champing at the bit, holding themselves back from raging forward. Some were meek. Some were disgusted. All were opposed. And they'd all come for the arrival. One of them spat at her feet while plenty of them yelled things about war, displacement of peace and monsters. It was ugly.

The Novena then turned her attention to the place she was in. Tall towers, clean buildings, day light, privacy, sociability, road-ways, walk-ways and walls that weren't the colour of egg-shells. It was a complete juxtaposition to Las Noches. The Real World was the space in between, in so many ways it incorporated both worlds in its own.

A bird flew overhead and the number of one of the Divisions barracks was painted elegantly onto the side of a tall entryway. There was order, but not restriction. Discipline, but not unjustified punishment. It was a place to grow and flourish and, above all, it was a place to defend, not attack.

Kira exhaled steadily and looked at Grimmjow. His jaw was clenched tightly. The reiatsu of so many Shinigami surrounded them. The reiatsu of Kurosaki oozed unchecked, teasing him, angering him, amusing him.

His blue eyes shifted to hers and then slid away.

The Espada were led to the main headquarters of Soul Society. Its centre. Where the captain of the first division resided. Captains from every other division were there too, you could feel their presence. It was awing. Nearly.

Two doors were opened to reveal a long, rectangular room. Captains in their white coats stood in two lines facing inwards. An old man with a gnarled wooden cane stood at the end of the room, waiting. Soi Fon, Hitsaguya and Ukitake moved into the gaps in the lines of Captains. Three more spaces were left. Empty.

One face caught Kira's attention. Dark hair, white symbolism tied to it, hard and distant expression. She remembered him. He had been there that day. He had seen her dragging Grimmjow. He had seen her covered in blood, sweat and desperation. That man.

The other Shinigami who had been with the Espada fell back at the door and waited outside, staring after the backs of their enemies as they were shut out of the room.

"Espada." The man at the head of the room said in a strong voice. "Welcome to Soul Society."

Both Kira and Grimmjow were quiet. They waited. They stared.

"These are the Captain of the Goeti thirteen. You are their number one priority starting now. You are not here to promote an alliance between Hollow and Shinigami, you are here so that the Shinigami may study the Hollow and learn to better overcome them."

Silence.

"You will be brought all your meals. You will only be allowed outside of your house while in the company of a guard containing a Captain or at least a vice-captain. You will be required to participate in research. You will be required to participate in teaching Shinigami to overcome opponents such as yourselves. Do you understand?"

Silence.

Kira looked around. "I know what you have me here for. But I am here for a different reason. I am here to find out whether or not the soul I am is the same as the soul I once was before you failed me. Once that has been found out, you may have to rethink whether or not you want to alter your ideas about Hollow, Menos, Arrancar and Espada."

"You suggest yourself to be different from a Hollow at its basic form."  
"Are you blind, old man?" Her tone was thick and smooth.

The first division captain was still for a long moment.

"We are obviously different already, or can you not see the presence of inhibition, restraint and self-respect? Discernment, intelligence, understanding and emotion? If you are going to cast me aside as a simple Hollow, then you must cast aside Kurosaki too, because he has the same power only his comes from another angle."

"Your origins are in Hueco Mundo."  
"Prove it." She looked him dead in the eye.  
"What?"  
"Prove that the person I was before you Shinigami didn't come to save me isn't the same as the person I am now." Kira was actually annoyed. She was confused and stressed.

"Csh." Grimmjow scoffed. "They don't give a damn about your opinion. They're selfish bastards, the lot of them."

"Oh, you're one to talk." Kira crossed her arms.

A low, nearly creepy chuckle came from the ranks of the Captains. A man with a discoloured face, blue hair, irregular fingernails and an eager expression. He had a skull like visage.

"So this is the girl." He peered at the Novena. "Oh, she's very interesting. Her theories are quite…twisted and her physical state is quite in-tact."

Kira glanced at him.

"And the man. Well, he will be hard to work with." Mayuri was smiling broadly. "I am quite pleased with the specimens. A lot of data will be gained from their…time with me."

Grimmjow smiled slightly, wickedly and slid his gaze up to the 12th Division Captain. He didn't say anything.

Yamamoto peered over the room. Every soul seemed prickly, every hackle was raised. "All I must ask is for your co-operation, Espada. Your lives are not in danger." He turned to Mayuri. "And should anything happen to your physical state, then there will be consequences. You are vital to the defeat of Aizen, whom I believe you are just as determined to take down as we are."

Kira said nothing. Her mind had slowed. She had slowed. She was at the goal she had waited to reach and now all that was left was to carry it out until the next goal revealed itself. The Novena closed her eyes briefly and swallowed her tension.

"Just…respect our presence here. It is not an easy thing."

There was a still quiet.

"Hai." Yamamoto replied. "You will be taken to your house by Ukitake. I believe you two already know each other. You will be introduced official to each captain as they take their turn monitoring your occupation here. Understand that this is unprecedented and has never occurred before. Whatever you are enemy or no, will be found out and dealt with."

Grimmjow was lucid beside the Novena. Calm, easy, content even. He was surrounded by potential fights and no doubt he would be able to get in some form of combat…to teach the Shinigami how to fight an Arrancar, of course. Oh, that was a pleasing thought.

As they turned to walk back out of the room, the Sexta draped his arm over Kira. "And so the grand adventure begins."

"Don't be smug."

"I'm going to kick a lot of Shinigami arse, and they're going to let me." He smiled. "Maybe you're not such an idiot."

Kira punched him and he laughed deeply.

0

The new house was small. Just as small as the old one, but it had a small garden too. A little willow tree, a wooden bench and a bubbling fountain. It had high walls and seemed to have been specially built - no other houses were nearby. The Shinigami who had come to watch them arrive were no where nearby, they did not know where to be near to. The dominating research building loomed down the street. It was tall and full of secrets. Shinigami came and went.

Already at the entrance of the Espada house, as it would come to be called, stood two guards with long spears and their own swords. Seated members of a division apparently.

Ukitake opened the door to the house. "I hope you find it to your liking. Most of our buildings here are traditional, so futons are slept on and tables are low. The house has three rooms; a single large living area, a bathroom and a bedroom."

The house had a low square table in the centre of its main room. Four white pillows were placed at each side to sit on. The floors were wooden and smelt of slight polish. There were two cupboards and another low table with a kettle and a small heater. A box of tea sat beside it with two white cups beside that. There were two sliding doors beside each other, one smaller and one larger. The smaller one led to a bathroom with a porcelain tub and the large one led to a bedroom.  
"One bedroom?" Kira had already been discarded by Grimmjow's arm. He'd done it more out of territoriality than anything else; she was annoyed a bit about it.

"There are two futons inside." Ukitake smiled easily. He seemed so comfortable and accepting. "There will be Shinigami outside the walls of the property monitoring your reiatsu. We will be able to track you thanks to a new system put in place by Mayuri-san. He has found a way to pin-point your location and reiatsu level."  
"Oh good." Kira said evenly. "Well, so long as there aren't camera's inside. I like my privacy."  
"You don't like anyone else's." Grimmjow hissed.

"There are no cameras." Ukitake mentioned. "We want you to function as yourselves and not as captives." He didn't have to say they were. It was un-implied. It was nearly true. "We need you." The Captain said with a gentle gesture. "Just as much as you need us."

"Hai." Kira turned to the house. "Thank you."

"You will be picked up by an escort to take you to the research institute tomorrow morning. Your meals will be delivered and there are snacks in the cupboards. Settle in well." Ukitake slid to the door. "Sayonara."

It had all happened so quickly. Kira's head was spinning. She was suddenly in this place, in this dimension with these people. It didn't feel like it was happening and it didn't feel like she was grasping it. She wanted to understand it now.

And her head began to work again. Full pace as it hit her like a freight train.

"Oh, shit." Grimmjow rolled his neck. "You go do that in some other room, savvy? I am not in the mood."

"You're in an unusually good mood."

"Piss off."  
"Better." Kira slid the paper door to the bedroom open. She paused. "Do you think I'm chasing a dead end?"  
"As far as the Shinigami are concerned, we are dead." Grimmjow spat.

"I think there's one thing I need to prove. If it's not right then, so be it. But I believe that maybe some relationships are so strong they can even transcend lifetimes; that souls that pass on in tact can find the ones they once knew, even if they don't think they know them at all." She had her gaze set on some point ahead of her feet, she nearly seemed embarrassed. Like maybe it was all just retarded.

"I told you I wasn't in the mood for your shit." Grimmjow replied smoothly as he sat at the table and balanced his elbows on it. He didn't look at her.

Kira half smiled and took hold of the door as she stepped into the separate room, closing it solidly behind her. There was a lot to process now that things were still.

Things were never still.

0

_The heart dies a slow death. Shedding hope like leaves, until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains…The rest is shadows. The rest is secret. _

_(Memoirs of a Geisha) _

0

Kira awoke to a dream she couldn't catch. Another dream she couldn't catch. Years and years and years of chasing souls across sand, catching them…and she couldn't catch a dream. Years and years and years she had been chasing them and she had never quite caught up. Just glimpses of light and shadow and sometimes little words.

But it was real. She could feel it. The first time she felt it was in the sand. It was her first memory of Hueco Mundo, the first time she breached the surface. She saw the moon and remembered something she could feel but not understand.

So fleeting. So quick.

The Novena stared at the ceiling of the Shinigami house. It had long wooden details, beautifully crafted. Such beautiful things were everywhere. Such simple little things.

The girl exhaled and closed her eyes. Sleep eluded her for an hour. Night followed her through the main room and out to the garden for an hour more. The stars were bright. The air was cool and even. There was grass, no sand. And plants that were alive. But it was not alien. Not at all.

The Novena wandered back inside. Back to the bedroom. There were light scuffling sounds as she dragged her futon over a few feet, a few little shoves as it was aligned in place. She straightened her covers and climbed under them, created a cacoon for herself to rest in. It was warm and safe and nothing was going to hurt her. Not anymore. They couldn't try to devour her anymore.

She proved her existence.

Kira rolled over and let the tips of her fingers touch the side of Grimmjow's torso. He didn't scare the nightmares and daydreams away. They were still hard to face, still hard to grasp, remember…but somehow they weren't hard to miss.

The Sexta was sleeping on his stomach, his arms crossed under his pillow and his expression exactly the same, only sleeping. His eyes opened slowly with an annoyed shape to their edges. The blue was changed by the lighting, but it was still blue.

Kira was asleep, her futon a few centimetres from his but still a separate entity. Her one hand was under the side of her face reaching from her cheekbone to her forehead, her fingers half in and half out of her hair. The fingernails of her other hand had woken him up. She shifted in her sleep. Small movements, tiny as breath. Her fingers had flexed out ever so slightly and settled, they'd drawn over his skin.

They were both in their Arrancar Uniforms, their swords within reach. They were both still. Grimmjow exhaled in what might have been a slightly annoyed manner and turned his head to face away from the girl.

0

The morning came clear and cool. The Shinigami came armed and with official sounding words. They found the Espada in the main room, the man sitting at the table with his chin propped in his hand as he gleefully watched them enter. The girl was at the door to the garden stretching her arms above her head and alternating her balance from the ball of one foot to the other.

It was time to go.

The one thing Kira knew she would find in a research facility was a collection of specimens. What she did not expect to find were some of the corpses of the Espada and their fraccion that had fallen in the Real World. It made her sick and angry.

Grimmjow had his usual poker face on, his just walked by.

Mayuri had met them at the door, smiling wildly at his new experiments and their potential. He led them through special rooms to the deep centre of the research institute. It was where his current works were being performed.

Kira glanced at the body of the Third and then slid her gaze over to the mad scientist in front of her. "What are you doing with them?" Her tone was a little warning.

Mayuri tapped his fingers together in the horrid, dull greenish lighting. "It is easier to study the parts of a specimen when they are still." He was quite pleased. "We know a lot about your bodies; all that is left is how they work. Fortunately for you, your comrades have provided enough data…for now. You are different to them as they are different to each other, but there is use for you before that."

Kira hissed at him. "These people are not your puppets! They should have disintegrated by now and moved on. They shouldn't even exist."

"Ah yes. That was difficult. You Hollow like to fall to pieces upon death. Some of you take more time than others; all of these were found in the dirt, some already frayed." Mayuri said as he turned from the Espada, his Vice Captain watched the newcomers as he did.

Kira noted, at that moment, the fingertips of Starrk. They were dusty and darkened. He had been frozen as he fell. He was suspended in his moment of defeat. It was disgusting.

"They need to pass." Kira said to the room.

Hitsugaya, the Captain who had escorted them from the house, spoke up before Mayuri. "They will. They won't remain here forever. They have a cycle to continue in. Every Espada here was killed by a Shinigami blade; they will come here as new souls when they are done."

"Its disgusting."

"Well, you've eaten souls, haven't you, Novena?" Mayuri peered at her. "That, I would say, is disgusting."

Kira clenched her jaw. Grimmjow stood, as per usual, with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders bent ever so slightly forward.

The scientist continued. "You have passed the first of our tests. Nemu, did you get the data?" He said to the small girl beside him.

"Hai." She replied easily.

"Good." Mayuri turned to the Espada. "Do not think that even your slightest breath is unmonitored in this place." He did not tell them what data he had collected, but rather that they were under his continual monitoring. Not just a security watch, but a studied watch.

"Novena, I understand you are interested in memories?" Mayuri turned on her.

"Hai."

"Well, I am interested in your brain waves and thought patterns. Your reaction to electro-stimulation and other…experimental tests." He said this as he walked out of the room and into another.

"Nemu, take the Sexta with Hitsugaya and do as I have told you."

The girl nodded and looked at Grimmjow. "Come."

He growled at her. "If you so much as tempt me to rip you apart and I'm already tempted enough, I will."

"Sexta." Mayuri cautioned. "You will be doing the same as the Novena, just in a separate room."

"It doesn't change the ripping part." Grimmjow's eyes shone.

Kira noted two doors in the new room. They were about twenty feet apart, two different rooms. Grimmjow went into the one and she went into the other.

It was lit with a hard white light and decorated with nothing but silver high beam lights, small machines with sticky plugs to attach to the skin, monitors and a tray with small utensils on it. A tall black wall stood at the end of the room, the rest was one colour. The colour of Las Noches.

Kira was told to put a white robe on. She didn't feel defenceless as her sword was placed over her folded clothes. She did wonder what havoc Grimmjow was reaping with his attitude. Probably none, he was probably just going with it as he imagined how he would crush Kurosaki's skull when it was all over, rumbling with anticipation as he did. 

The Novena was asked to lie on a waist height bed with a white cover. It was bare of anything else, naked to the monitors that lined the one wall and the machines that drifted over on metal wheels. Kira felt a small, cold touch against the side of her head, against the pressure points in her neck, arms, legs and spine. And she lay there, calm and clear minded; determined and battle ready.

"This may hurt a bit." Mayuri stated without remorse as he walked over to the machine that collected the wires from the little stickers on the girl's body. "Your reiatsu is about to be invaded…if all goes to plan. If you are not what you think you are, then Soul Society will have data to destroy you. If you are, then we will still have that data but we will be prepared to collect more."

Kira didn't respond. Her mind reeled. If she was wrong, then she would die that day. It was easy. If she was ever so slightly right, she wouldn't. This was the hardest test of all; the one that decided if it was worth the effort. But she would know. It would be okay either way. She would know. And if she was wrong, then she and her friend were not connected by anything other than friendship; goodbyes were easy when the bonds weren't hooked in. Still…it just…

Mayuri paused in an amused way. "As I said, this may hurt. Just a bit."

As he finished his sentence his finger strayed to a small button that was barely visible against the mechanics of the machine. A sharp pain shot through each sensor on the Espada's skin, firing what felt like scorching metal through the most sensitive, powerful and necessary points of her reiatsu.

Kira blinked hard against the sensation, but the moment she opened her eyes all went white and everything became still.

The pain brought forth little more than words. Little more than remembered words. No images, no nothing. They sounded like they'd been dragged through sand, air and blood.

_"You would survive just fine without me. You would be just as strong and just as pig-headed. And me, I would go on living and breathing and going to the places I want to go to. But I wouldn't know you, and I don't know if I would trade all the years I have with you for a life of flexible solitude because this life is individual, it is just bound to another without causing them any harm or restraint."_

And then, when it was over, it fleeted. It ran away and she couldn't catch it.

The Scientists Vice-Captain stood there. Time had drifted away. A man in a white coat was beside the machine, his hand on the button. He hit it again.

It felt light electricity. It collapsed every vein and artery; it burned through ever fingertip and tried to find an escape. But it didn't. Things flashed white again, then cleared and then the intensity heightened and engulfed the Novena. It tied itself to the feelings she felt when she dreamed and then it dragged her down to drown.

_There was a balcony with a view of a small waterfall, fragile looking trees and buildings crafted by fine carpenters, builders and stonemasons. In front of the view was a silvery-blue seat. It was long and elegant, bench-like in structure and placed in a room with large windows, a bed that lay flat on the floor in a traditional style, its mattress surrounded by a smooth mahogany. _

_On the seat was a woman. She was looking at the room and not the view. The front of her hair was pinned back to a place just behind the top of her neck. It was held in place by an elegant comb. A pile of books lay in a tumbled heap nearby, they had been cast sideways. Pushed. Discarded. _

_And the figure didn't move. She was still as a statue. Drenched in some emotion so deep that it didn't even fully register on her face. All she did was sit tall and still. _

_The woman's breath shuddered quietly as she inhaled. Her eyes stared straight forward, though all things physical, though flesh and blood and stone. They were flat and green as a precious emerald, trimmed with sadness and lined with a smooth thread of water. It slid down her cheek as her mouth trembled from some sudden grief. _

Kira swallowed and opened her eyes smoothly. She was staring at the same blank ceiling but it was different this time. A cool, drenched sensation had touched the corner of her eye and escape toward her temple. The girl reached her hand up and touched it; she felt it, brought it forth and saw it. A little piece of liquid glass that smelt of salt. She noticed her breathing steady and wondered if it had not been normal before.

Kira blinked and glanced to the side. The Captain Mayuri stood there, a wide smile on his face.

His finger was on the button of the machine. His long fingernail hanging over the corner of its surface.

"You don't die today, Novena."

Her body quickly settled into a new sensation. It became heavy as lead and deprived of energy. That had been no sprint, and she was a sprinter. Her muscles themselves felt overworked and she wondered what they had done, but only briefly.

Kira felt hands on her body, fingers pulling the stickers off her skin. She felt drained. Her mind felt empty, exhausted. Hands lifted her shoulders up and allowed her to sit up. Hands picked her up, put her on a stretcher and carried her in the dead of night to the small house.

No healer was there at all. She was not injured. She was drained. Drained beyond comprehension. Beyond what she knew.

Drained so far she couldn't remember what it was she had seen in those moments. But they'd found something, they'd found her sliver of light.

* * *

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

It is a bit shorter than I'd like, but I am still injured and now busy. Nonetheless, I did move some of the chapter into the next. So it was longer, but it felt unfinished with the other pieces.

Please review, I will do my upmost to reply to each of you. I very much enjoy reading what you thought of my story and all constructive criticism is accepted.

Blessings,

P.

Just to clarify; the italicised line "_The heart dies a slow death. Shedding hope like leaves, until one day there are none. No hopes. Nothing remains…The rest is shadows. The rest is secret" _is from Memoirs of a Geisha. Its one of the few stories where I prefer the movie to the book. But both are worth it.


	13. Chapter 11

_There's a patch of blue in the stormy sky,  
A memory of a brighter time.  
When everything was new, and less watered down,  
Before the summer turned to brown._

- _Sherwood, Song in My Head._

**Chapter 11**

**

* * *

If the Shinigami lifespan is ten times longer than that of a human, where one earth year is the equivalent of ten in soul society, then how does one age a creature who has lived in a world with no method of measuring time? You need the sun and the moon to determine the hours and the age of a face is often measured by many things, time being only one of these.**

Time had no meaning to the Espada. It meant something, but it was not a registry or a clock. It was simply there. It did not count down to their passing, but rather didn't count at all. When they passed, they passed. So be it.

But someone somewhere had to have passed at some time for them to exist. From information gathered by the research institute, it had been a long time ago. Long before the War to end all Wars, long before tradition had been abandoned.

More had to be investigated and the captain of the 12th Division was very eager indeed to continue what he had started. Originally the Espada were to be tested on their physical aptitudes, their strength, speed, response times and such. They were to be measured and quizzed, but now that the first of the tests, the one that was planned to settle the female into the rest, had provided results that no one had expected.

The images in her mind, the ones they had caught, were not from a world of sand and darkness. The first memory they had of her life in Hueco Mundo was of her emergence on the sand. She had known her name, her place, her form.

She had pulled herself to the surface, shaking her body as she emerged. The feline had long legs and a lean body. She was more of a willow tree than an animal. The first thing she did was run. And she kept running, every step allowing her to take in new information about her surroundings.

Nothing before that could be found. It had only been one day of testing, but everything between the sight of her on the sand and the soul in the world that was not Hueco Mundo…it was blackness. That is why they had drained her so much in that first experiment. She had been sleeping for a whole day and a half, little burn marks touched against her skin at the points where they had probed into her reiatsu.

As she rested, the male Espada had been resting too. They had done the same thing to him, though with much less co-operation. He had hissed and growled and threatened before settling himself into the same demeanour he had been in as he hissed, growled and threatened; but only this time in a non-verbal manner. He was not pleased.

The first time they had sent the pulse through him, he had thrown a Shinigami across the room. That had seemed to settle him some. By the time they were done, at least half an hour after they had finished with the female, he was just as exhausted but completely determined to move himself home. He scowled at the Shinigami, his mood dark indeed, and he walked back to the house with his hands in his pockets.

Mayuri was pleased with the opposition of their personalities. Though both stubborn and quick, her manner was smoother and his was more unpredictable. He was faster at losing his temper, though it was not because he could not keep it. She was faster at speaking her mind; like an AM radio it just kept going and going and going, ideas the same and new ones continually rolling around.

When Grimmjow had arrived back at the house and thudded his way through to the bedroom, he found the Novena asleep on top of the futon she had shifted nearer to his. No one had shifted it back or put her under the covers.

Bare feet, long fingers, untied hair, dressed only in her singlet and pants…she didn't even shift in her sleep. She was tired, so tired that she could not mask her expression at all. Kira was content. She was okay.

Grimmjow rolled his neck and took his jacket off, throwing it across the room as he sat on his futon. The man lay on his side, facing away from the girl. He too, did not remember anything from what had happened inside the research institute.

After a minute of dead silence, he rolled over. He stared at the Novena and then he put his hand on the side of her futon and pushed it away from his before rolling back over and falling asleep.

0

Mayuri came to their house to formulate the questions he had yet to ask the specimens. Their house was clean, very basic and there was little clutter. The bathroom was as it had been when the Shinigami had finished readying the house for their arrival.

The bedroom, however, was not. The one futon had been moved. It had been pushed away from the other, the way the blankets untucked on that side were evidence of that act. It had been against the other wall, so it was not the first transport the little mattress had experienced.

Nemu waited at the door as the scientist wandered over to the sleeping forms. He was certain they would not wake. The way they had left the night before had assured him that they would not want to wake up for a few more hours yet.

The male was on his side, facing the female. He had his forearm under his head, his elbow bent forward. His figure was not curled or straightened. It was somewhere between. The female lay with her spine aligned along his torso, her pillow placed vertically down her front as her one hand rested just below where her head was. The under hand was under the item, curled up and around to the bottom of the pillow. It stopped somewhere near her belly-button and was met, almost, by his.

The Sexta had his arm placed over her, his shoulder leaning forward toward her. And she didn't seem at all threatened.

But there was something odd. Though there were two futons, neither was used. Rather, the gap between them had been filled somehow.

Mayuri put his forefinger and thumb to his chin and thought a moment. He was very interested; not in the closeness of the Espada, but rather in how it had come to be. It opposed both of their natures entirely. It seemed to be something that would not occur.

When he left, he still pondered this and then the words the Novena had spoken about her belief about her soul.

0

What had been gathered about the individual personalities of each Espada.

_Sexta: An apparently scruffy, laid-back individual with a lethal temper and complete disregard for formality, authority and respect except when applied to himself. It is assumed that he became an Espada through strength, speed, expert combat interpretation and a lethal sadistic touch. _

_Novena: A willowy type with a quick, often outspoken thought pattern and mischievous streak that comes and goes with a fairly calm mood. It is not known how she became an Espada or how she survived life below the sands of Hueco Mundo._

That's what one file said. There were many. Mayuri was collecting data from individuals under his command. His own interpretation of the pair was not yet complete.

They sat across from each other on high metal tables. He was without his jacket and so was she. Apprentices were measuring their Hollow Holes, their masks, inspecting their teeth, their hands, their form, their posture…

Grimmjow just sat there with this distant look on his face. Kira was slightly awkward, she moved every time someone went to touch her and tried to watch everyone all at once.

"Relax, Novena." Mayuri mentioned as he entered the room, Nemu at his shoulder. "They are not searching for your weak points."

"Well, if they are they aren't very good at finding them." Kira had to fight an instinctive reflex to kick the middle aged woman who was measuring the size of her feet. "Is this not a bit like when Hitler measured the features of the Jews for World War Two? It sure feels a lot like that."

Mayuri closed his eyes and laughed in a very amused manner. "No, Novena. In fact, if we were to try and single you out on face measurements, we would probably catch a lot of our own in the process. The only measurable difference found so far are the masks and the holes." He turned to Grimmjow. "Sexta, do you know why your Hollow Hole is where it is?"

"Eh?" The man turned to the Scientist. "I haven't got an effing clue."

"Novena?"  
She looked down at where her hole was. "Well its not where the heart is traditionally found, is it?"

"Hm…" Mayuri pondered. "I wonder how your internal organs fare with such an invasion. I wonder if it is true that you do not have hearts? We could only find out by cutting you open." He grinned. "But your comrades have already taken that experiment upon themselves."

Kira stared. She didn't know what to say. To have taken a knife to any form that could not defend itself…it didn't…but then again…

"We found every organ, artery and nerve that we would find in a Shinigami or Human. They were just…evolved around the hole. Placed like a puzzle. Like clocks." The Scientist was pleased, proud and curious of his findings. Mayuri put his hands behind his back. "Leave." He said flatly, his tone entirely different from before.

Everyone except Nemu and the Espada left the room quickly. The Captain approached the two he was interested in and stared at them equally in their turn.

"I have a theory." He said easily. "Your holes were thought to be the places where your hearts were ripped out, hence your inhumanity. But no, it was rather where your chain of fate was ripped out, and that alone. It seems your souls recovered enough from this in your move to Hueco Mundo in order to survive with a full set of functions." There was a long pause. "Today, I will be looking right through that hole. Prompting it like the memories of the other day."

"Memories?" Kira said smoothly. "You believe they are memories?"  
"Well, you don't seem quite imaginative enough to have created such well aligned stories."

Grimmjow groaned boredly. "When do I get to punch some Shinigami full of holes you can study?"  
Mayuri continued to smile. "In due time."

The Sexta narrowed his eyes at the Captain. "Don't crap on then."

0

Kira found herself, once again, laying on a table with the familiar machine nearby. Mayuri himself placed the stickers on her. The Novena had to refrain from squirming as the cold touch met the wall of the inside of her Hollow Hole. It felt weird. It felt nearly ticklish, freezingly so.

"This is probably going to hurt." The Twelfth division Captain said as he left the room.

"Aren't you going to be here?" Kira looked up as he walked away, leaving only one other. The same person from the last experiment.

"I'll be behind that wall." He nodded at the large black expanse. "One way windows." His smile was seedy. "The only way into a one way soul."

The Novena glanced at what she had thought was a wall. People were behind it. Watching. Recording. It sent a small chill through her fingertips. She felt like some animal at a Zoo.

While she thought of this, she was thrown aside and tossed into that world she couldn't quite remember. It was cold, chilling. Like the cool breeze of death itself. Unpleasant, creepy and very familiar.

_The spirit of a woman in a long white kimonostood at the balcony that framed a familiar looking view. The long sleeves moved in a slight wind, her hair lifted lightly. She was waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Just waiting. Her skin was still smooth and young. Her hair unaware of the colour grey. _

_Her eyes quickly shot down to a noise below and her hands dropped to the stone of the balcony. She leaned over and looked, searching. A dark black force shot upwards, causing her to stumble back from fright. It perched on the balcony, its dark black talons crushing the structure and crumbling it to below. _

_The beast was all white except for its feet, the feathers on its arms, the beak on its face and the claws on its fingers. They were black. A giant hole was punched in its stomach, right in the middle. _

_The woman's hand instantly strayed to the broken chain that hung from her body. Right in the middle. Right there. The animal screeched at her, spreading out two bat-like wings as it leaned forward and sniffed. _

_The woman was quick. She moved out of its way swiftly, her eyes never leaving it. The animal screamed again. It was an awful sound. But then there was another. The sound of stone crumbling again. It moved along the balcony, following her. Stalking her. _

_The woman flattened her back against the wall and stared. She had reached the corner. She had run out of room. Her eyebrows knit together just as the Hollow lunged at her. She drove the side of her hand against the monsters beak, throwing its strike off course and unbalancing it with its own momentum. _

_The woman ran toward the door only to feel a firm grip on the back of her robes. She landed heavily on her elbows, her chin smacking against the floor. She rolled onto her back, tangling herself in her own clothing. The animal had its talon concretely planted on her dress. The other stepped forward, landing just beside her hip. The woman's eyes shot to the movement and then quickly back to her attacker. It screamed again and she had to close her eyes for the noise. _

_In a movement she couldn't remember, the female pulled herself away from the Hollow. Her clothing ripping in long lines where the nails of the animal had been. It followed her as she stumbled to get up. _

_The eyes of the woman turned to the room the balcony entered as she tried to get upright. A white lantern sat without light on a low table. It too, waited. It was not yet empty. It was still waiting. _

_The woman twisted sharply to avoid the attack she knew was coming at her. She couldn't go. Not yet. She was still waiting. _

_Yet as she moved herself out of the way, something more important got ensnared. _

_There was a dull tug at her chest. The Hollow clamped its jaws around the chain of fate that hung from the woman's chest. It tugged sharply, hauling her towards the hook at the end of one of its pale wings. The female gasped at a burning pain. She wanted to scream. Instead of defending herself, her hands went to her chest. _

_The Hollow, in its attempt to pull her closer, stumbled backwards; unattached. The chain still in its mouth. _

_The woman looked at the gaping hole in her chest. It hurt so much she wanted to scream. It felt like it would devour her. It took her breath from her and made her cold. So cold. _

_Her vision shot white and in her last earthly memory, she looked over the balcony. She watched, just in case her waiting had ended. _

_0_

Kira gasped and sat bolt upright. Her breathing was uneven and her hand was on her chest. A place just below where her hole was. Maybe where the original hole had been. She couldn't remember what happened, only that she could recall the pain.

It felt like she had just fallen through some ice, her blood vessels constricting cruelly and hurting her immensely. It knocked the air out of her and all she wanted to do was feel warm. But she was warm.

Mayuri was standing at the end of the table, his hands folded into his sleeves. "Did you remember?"

Kira swallowed. "I saw. But I don't remember what it was that I saw."

"I thought so." He strolled around to her side and unplugged her from the machine. "You're trembling."

The Novena glanced at her hands. Her fingers vibrated slightly. She closed her hand into a fist. "What happened? How did this happen?" She indicated her Hollow Hole.

"Like you have said. The Shinigami didn't reach you in time." Mayuri grinned ever so slightly, teasingly.

Kira blinked a few times. She didn't know where her next words came from. "Who was I waiting for?"

"Novena, it's the second day. Be patient." The Captain walked towards the door. "You have an escort to the Academy. The other Captains want to see your methods of combat. Your friend is already eagerly waiting."

Nothing more was said.

0

Kira found Grimmjow and Ukitake standing at the door to the research institute. A band of Shinigami stood around, all of them with seated member reiatsu.

The Novena stood to face the Sexta, she opened her mouth to say something but didn't get anything out before his palm fell heavily on the top of her head. She gave him a long-suffering look and smacked his hand away.

"Are you ready to go?" Ukitake smiled warmly.

"Hai." Grimmjow replied, returning his hand to his pocket. He was eager. Brimming.

The steps to the Academy were few, the streets were empty and all was quiet. Kira wanted to ask Grimmjow if he remembered what had happened earlier, if he remembered things like she did but couldn't remember them afterwards.

But she didn't. Not in front of the Shinigami. Even then, not out loud.

The Academy building was big. The Espada were led around the outside, away from the classes, and to a large training space at the back. There stood Soi Fon and Ikkaku. Kenpachi would have been put up against Grimmjow, but one of them would have ended up dead. Ikkaku was put in his place instead.

The area was wide and flat. Where were high walls on three sides and a building on the other one. It had a balcony where high ranking Shinigami stood and watched. Others sat on the steps that led down to the training area.

When the Espada arrived, they became quiet.

Ukitake was the one to break the silence, even though the First Division Captain was there. "You all know that this is just a demonstration battle. There will be no killing. Wounds are to be kept to a minimum."

Kira had to elbow Grimmjow to keep him from laughing at the probability of that last request. He glared sideways at her before grinning.

"Grimmjow." Ukitake said easily. "Ikkaku is the one you will be fighting against. Please refrain from using your released form at this stage."

"Oh, I don't think that's going to be a problem." The Sexta said as he stepped forward.

The bald Shinigami eyed his opponent smoothly. "Hello, Espada."

Grimmjow spat on the ground, his hands still in his pockets. "Yo."

"You wanna fight?"

"It wont be much of a fight." Grimmjow gave the man a once over. "Is this all Soul Society had to offer me? Wont be much of a demonstration."

Ikkaku scowled deeply and began the fight with a strong charge, a quick sidestep and a sideswipe at his opponents torso. Grimmjow vanished and re-appeared behind the Shinigami, grinning maliciously. He smacked the man on the back of the head and sent him sprawling across the grounds, creating distance from the observers.

Mayuri took his place on the balcony at that moment, Kira noticed as she looked at those watching. Some had notebooks and were recording things. This was an experiment as well as a way to see how the Espada fight.

Soi Fon had her arms crossed and was not looking at her opponent.

Grimmjow was heard laughing as he blocked the punches of Ikkaku. When the Shinigami swung a foot up to catch him on the shin, the Espada caught him by the ankle. Instead of tossing him sideways, the Sexta hauled the man upwards, tipping him upside down.

Ikkaku grabbed Grimmjow around the shin and forced backwards. The Espada stumbled for a moment before throwing the Shinigami down hard. The fight went on.

Ikkaku was a good combatant. He was a good fighter. He would not lose. But Grimmjow wasn't going to lose; not to Shinigami that weren't even Captains. The Sexta was enjoying himself. He toyed with his opponent. Let him get a few hits, actually got hit a few times, before using Sonido to throw himself at the other man, wipe his sword away with one hand and latch onto his throat with the other. He kept going, driving Ikkaku into the far wall of the training ground.

A whistle blew. Enough.

The Shinigami panted, glaring at the Espada who hadn't let go. Grimmjow laughed lowly. "Learn that, punk." He spat at the man's feet before letting him go quickly.

As he walked away, Ikkaku charged him in a rage.

The Sexta noted and ducked at the very last minute, forcing his back upwards into the Shinigami as he passed over. Ikkaku had expected this and swung his blade down at the Espada's face.

Grimmjow caught it in his palm and rolled the man off his back, twisted him and pulled his arm behind his back, forcing him to drop his blade. "Don't tempt me, Shinigami." He hissed. "I am the sixth Espada. You didn't stand a chance."

A small group of Shinigami had to run in and separate the two. Grimmjow had to be put in an area filled with other Captains and Vice-Captains while Ikkaku was sent to the balcony where Mayuri would keep him from destroying the specimen.

Kira's fight, on the other hand, was against a real Captain. A leader of a special operations corp. The Novena knew she was not as good as she had been, but maybe she was better. Maybe she had been changed for the better.

The idea of a fight actually stirred her up in a good way. She usually fought Grimmjow, but this time…she would be learning to take down a Captain. In that moment, Soi Fon became Gin and the Novena became furious.

But her head cleared and she was there in the middle of the ground facing a woman. The Novena was taller, but they were just as lean. Soi Fon stared at her opponent flatly. She did not like her. At all. Not one bit. Espada were scum. Hollow. Monsters.

But they had to fight them. They would have to when Aizen returned.

Kira nodded once at the other woman in a gesture of respect. The moment her eyes slid from the Shinigami was the moment she attacked. The Novena expected this and leapt sideways, kicking her leg out as she did so. Soi Fon used Shunpo to avoid the hit and reappeared behind the girl.

Kira used Sonido to vanish. She appeared above the other woman and drove herself straight down, head first, like a spear. Soi Fon went to step out of the way but the Novena used Sonido for a fraction of a second and threw her timing off. She grabbed the Shinigami by the collar, planted her feet and used her own momentum to haul the other woman around.

Soi Fon landed on her feet, her gaze steady. She charged the Espada. Kira dropped down onto her haunches, let her fingers touch the ground briefly as she tightened her muscles, and then she exploded off the ground.

Soi Fon dodged the attack and Kira had to stop herself by latching onto the wall. She glanced up and then used the spirit particles in the structure to climb it swiftly. She sensed the Shinigami coming up in the same manner and let go, falling away.

As soon as she was parallel with Soi Fon, Kira dug her feet into the wall and pushed off and shot away swiftly. The Shingiami followed, suspecting something.

What she did not expect from such an agile and quick opponent was for them to stop suddenly, turn sharply and reach out.

The Novena grabbed Soi Fon by the wrist and lifted her over her head in an arch. The fight had to end soon. It was a dead out sprint and Kira was starting to run out. She had to use another tactic. One she had been forced to fight and learn.

Brute strength.

Once the Shinigami had done 180 degrees, she lined up for her attack. Kira felt the sharp scratch of the woman's sword as it slid across her shoulder. It didn't stop her. It burned, it was a blow designed to make her let go and not risk a similar attack.

It didn't work. Kira waited one moment after the sword had left her skin before using Sonido to head straight for the ground. She stopped just before and listened as her opponent landed heavily on her side.

The whistle blew. Enough.

And everyone knew the Shinigami had held back. Even Kira. And it pissed her off a bit. But it had felt so good to fight, even if for just a short period of time.

The Novena rolled her neck and flinched as the broken skin stung out. She looked at her shoulder. Her jacket was slit diagonally across the joint, the skin underneath penetrated in a thin but deep line. Like a sting.

The Shinigami went to Soi Fon first; the Captain told them she was fine in a rough tone as her eyes settled on the Espada. She had not been beaten. The battle had been ended by a whistle, not a win.

A kind looking woman with a weird hair-style walked up to Kira. She had a captains robe on and a plait down her front.

"You may want to think about tying your hair up in a fight, Sato-san." The woman smiled.

"Hai." Kira replied.

"I am Retsu _Unohana_, I have been assigned to heal your injury."

"Its nothing."

"Mayuri would want you in the best possible shape for tomorrow, and it will only take a moment. I can even fix your jacket."

"If she got hurt by that woman's sword then she really has degraded in her ability." Grimmjow's rough voice neared.

"Well, at least you had fun." She half ignored him as the Shinigami went to work on her shoulder. It wouldn't take long, it was a small wound.

Grimmjow smiled easily.

"I get the bath." Kira shot-gunned.

"After me." The Sexta raised an eyebrow at her, still smiling before walking off. "Have fun fixing that."

"Bastard."  
"Brat."

Kira scowled at his back.

_Unohana had a very small smile. "So are you two a pair then?"  
"What?" _

_"You're evidently friends in a very primary school fashion. Though without the safety net and parental support." _

_"That's one way of putting it." Kira watched the woman use her healing powers on her shoulder. _

_"Well, if you are then it'll show."  
"What?"  
"As unconventional as your relationship with the other Espada seems to be, it also seems to be quite enduring."  
"Well, enduring each other has been part of it."_

_The woman laughed very lightly. "I think your injury is quite healed now. You need to go home and rest. An escort has probably already gone with your friend, so I will find one for you now."_

_"Hai." _

_Kira watched the woman go and leave her alone. She looked at her shoulder, even the fabric was in one piece. And it hadn't hurt. Not even a little bit. Not even at all. _

_The friend who will hurt you and heal you to help you for the better, the one who can be silent in despair and be there in grief, who can tolerate you, understand when you are powerless and who can make misfortune seem just that little bit less unfortunate; that is a friend who cares. _

_Grimmjow…well, he'd beat her up. He'd healed her. He didn't walk away from her, even though he told her to shut up. He knew when she was at her weakest. He could see it clearly. And now…if things were different…_

_Well, Kira didn't know what they would be like they were. It wouldn't be what it was. And what it was could still be open to debate. _

_0_

When the Novena got home she found Grimmjow in the main room laying flat on his back, one leg bent up casually.

She had to step over him to get to the bathroom.

"Its already mine." Came the smooth voice from the floor.

"You're not using it." Kira replied easily as she started to run a bath.

"Doesn't matter. I will be."

"Are you seriously trying to pick a fight over the bathroom?" The Novena put a hand on her hip and stood in the door.

"You're the one who wont leave it how it should be."

"Oh, bugger of." Kira waved at him lazily and turned back into the room. From under the sink came a smooth smell, the girl knelt down and opened the door to the little closet. Inside was a box of powdered milk. She turned it over in her hand, curious at it. There were instructions to put it in the bath. Why, she had no idea.

As she read the back of the box, Kira let her kneeling go and dropped into a very easy seated-on-bathroom-floor position. When she opened the box, a puff of powder came out and attacked her nasal cavity.

She sneezed and nearly threw the box across the room. A long streak of powder now lined the bathroom and dusted the sink and just about every other surface. The Novena stared at the box again, then at the bath. She stood, stepped over the mess she had made and promptly tipped the entire contents of the product into the water at once.

It said two to three scoops per bath, but she hadn't been able to find a scoop…until it floated to the surface of the water. She fished it out of the white water and set it in the sink before sliding herself into the warm water.

Her muscles reacted smoothly to the temperature, unwinding slowly. She'd never had a bath before. Ever. Or maybe she had, but in Las Noches she had only ever used the showers. It felt…relaxing.

Kira reached for the milk box and read it over again. It said it was not for consumption. Milk for sitting in. Her one eyebrow rose as she sank below the water, submerging herself right to her collarbone.

There were new things to find every day. Weird things. People bathed in milk; cow lactation. In the thing you put on breakfast food. Kira lifted the ends of her hair and ran her fingers over them. It felt no different. The steam made everything damp, but not uncomfortable I-just-turned-my-bathroom-into-a-sauna kind of way.

It felt…nice. Letting your guard down. Just…for a moment. To be still and unthinking.

The water shifted easily around the girl as she lay there with her eyes closed. She let her fingers trace a lazy outline on the waters surface and shifted forward to allow a space for the water to flow over her spine.

When she leant back again things were different but entirely the same.

"You know, that's entirely unfair." Her tone was relaxed. "I'm being feminine and you weren't invited."  
A firm sensation wrapped around her waist and leant her back easily, aligning her spine against the line of a sternum, pulling her head back onto a shoulder.

"I told you I would be here. It's your problem now." The familiar apathy of his voice was so close.

"Fine. I have problems." Kira hadn't opened her eyes. She did not feel threatened or undermined.

Grimmjow ran his palm across the side of her ribcage as he shifted casually to be comfortable.

"What do you remember from what they did to you in the Research Institute?" The Novena asked, opening her eyes.

The Sexta immediately splashed her in the face. He didn't have to say shut up, but he did anyway.

Kira exhaled slowly. "Fine."

0

_There was a large room with a large table. An elegant tea-pot and smooth white cups. Two places set across the table from one another. An elderly woman seated in the very far corner; a chaperone maybe. An aunt. A misplaced relative. A wrinkled misfortune. _

_There was a young woman sitting tall at the table, her feet folded under her. She wore a sky blue kimono detailed with the patterns of clouds in silver thread and navy blue along all is edges. She had her hair up in a traditional style, a white bone comb the only ornament in it. From it hung small, pale white beads that moved as she did. _

_The sound of a door opening did not cause her to stir or look up. The sound of someone sitting opposite her made her bring her chin up so her face could be viewed by him. _

_He was tall, broad shouldered and he appeared to be completely apathetic to the situation. _

_"You know who I am, so I won't bother with that introduction. I know who you are, so please don't feel the need to tell me your full title." His voice sounded like it ran through a thin layer of sandpaper before it came out of his mouth. _

_"Hai. I do know your name and you know mine. We have known each others names since we were small, even though with did not know each other." Her tone was quiet, maybe timid. "Tea?"_

_"Hai."_

_She poured it as she had been raised to. "What is your favourite tea? I will need to know for future reference."_

_"I don't have a favourite."  
She smiled as she passed the man his cup. "Then we will drink my favourite."_

_"I don't know if it's a pro or a con that you are not like the other women."_

_"I know you have met others to see if they ticked all your boxes. But I fear they tick too many, including that of fear." She paused. "That box will have to remain empty in my case. So long as there is no reason to make it otherwise."_

_"You are not superior to me. You are not above me in any way."  
"I am different to you."_

_"And what do you know of me?" Despite the words, the conversation had no tension, no ill-ease. It was…seemingly normal. Natural. _

_"It is true that I don't know you. But I want to."_

_"You know who I am."_

_"It is true. You are in a high stress, high risk position that would cow any normal man. But you are not cowed. You are faced by many demons and you risk becoming one yourself."_

_He smiled widely. "You think I am a demon? I am greatly amused."_

_"If I will be honest; I had hoped to meet someone who had the stars as their hands and hearts. But that is pure fancy, if such a person were to exist, what would the point of starts, hands and hearts be? They would be one thing and not the same and we would have to join them with something else to make them any sort of beautiful."_

_"You are not unhappy then?"  
"No. I am not unhappy." She was silent for a long moment. "Are you?"_

_He rolled his neck. His tone had no emotion. "No."_

_" I never asked to meet anyone silent, brooding and apathetic; I have never asked to meet anyone because I fear I would be unhappy or ungrateful of that person. There is one thing I am very happy with though. You have a library that contains more than novels so I might not make the mistake of trying to create a person out of cosmos and basic anatomy?"_

_"Your father was right." He muttered. "You do think out loud. A lot." _

_The young woman folded her hands in her lap. "Think of it as music."_

_He was silent. _

_"Please may I ask you something?"  
"Hai." He met her gaze. _

_"May I be your friend?"_

_He was quiet. He rose from his seat and set his cup down. He peered down at the young woman, his expression easy. "That's a stupid question because you know the answer."_

_The girl half smiled. "But you'll never say it."_

_The man rolled his shoulder easily and glanced back at her as he began to leave. "Don't ever expect me to."_

_The girl's gaze drifted to her hands as he walked away. She bit her lip and noticed her fingers tremble slightly. She breathed, closed her eyes for a moment, and then smiled. "Hai."_

* * *

So, a little romance at the end to tickle your fancy. Lord knows Grimmjow isn't the type to hand out roses or do anything like that. At all. Ever. I cannot make him a gentleman because he is not, so whatever transpires does so because I have found that his nature will go that way in that manner.

Honestly, I do get a bit uneasy writing romance but I often find that it is a facet that a story can use to its advantage, even if it's a story of exploration and not one of love. It's a perspective unlike any others and, those who know my writing know I like perspectives.

Yeah…

But I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please do let me know what you thought; I very much value your opinion and views. Constructive criticism is more than welcome.

So, go crazy

Blessings,

P.


	14. Chapter 12

_"Hunger, love, pain and fear are some of those inner forces which rule the individual's instinct for self preservation."_

- _Albert Einstein _

**Chapter 12**

* * *

Mayuri paced back and forth in front of a large one way window while long reams of paper spilled from his hands. They spewed all sorts of data, reports, results, conclusions, hypothesis, re-hypothesised hypothesis, still images from footage that reeled on the screens behind him, spoken words…it was all there. All of it.

Every single thing that the Novena Espada had wanted to prove or disprove…it was a phenomenal find. So rare; just like the Espada themselves. But there was more to it than that, so much more. The relationship between Hollow and Shinigami would always be the same, but now it seemed that Arrancar weren't Hollow. They were the full process of evolution without a generational gap, with natural selection but by their own adaption…

And yet…

The view from the window was of two rooms, separated from each other entirely. Both were whitewash. In one was the Novena, in the other was the Sexta. There were futons to be unrolled and slept upon, tea to be drunk, mats to sit on and every other basic comfort. The last experiment. The final one.

Such curious creatures. Such curious thoughts. Such curious lives they had led. It was like a riddle when you already knew the answer. And that was the most complicated unknown.

In the background, behind the scientist, screens rolled images by.

_The same balcony. The same view. The same woman. _

_"My Lady, you should be in bed." A small voice came from inside. _

_"No." She wrapped her arms around herself, holding her elbows in each palm. "No, it is my duty to wait."_

_"…hai, I understand."  
"But you still don't approve?"  
"No."_

_"How long have you been my teacher? You have guided me, shown me the art of conversation, of art, of calligraphy, of music, of dance. You have even shown me self-defence and allowed me to wander and ride out on my own. This person, standing here and standing against what you propose is the person you shaped from infancy."_

_"I did teach you all of these things, but I also taught you about self-preservation."_

_"You are not my mother, though it often felt like it. My mother is sleeping beside my father. I must wait before I can sleep too."_

_Silence.  
"Please, I brought you here because you are dear to me and because it is quiet and solitary, your aging bones would find rest here. I will find no rest until this wait is over."_

_"Hai…" Pause. "Would you like me to bring you tea or a book?"_

_The young woman turned around. "The book. One I have not read. One that is not a novel. Then you must go and rest yourself." _

_There was a small nod and then silence. _

Mayuri looked at the fuzzy vision as it faded out. The memories or dreams or whatever they were…they had a sequence but not a coherent one. It was as if only important pieces were there, but the pathways to them were missing. It was like looking through a photo album and not knowing where the pictures were taken or what it had taken to get them.

The next set of images clicked into place. They always started hazy, got clear and then just faded out like the sad end of a sad movie.

_It was the woman again in her platform seat by the balcony. She was leaning against one side, her legs bent neatly against the back of the chair. The pale cream of her kimono was light enough for summer and graceful enough for sleep. _

_And asleep she was, her head resting against the corner of the arm of the seat. In one of her hands was a book half in and half out of her grip. _

_The sound of footsteps did not stir her. Their pausing didn't either. The book leaving her hands didn't cause a change. The young woman was lifted from her seat and placed carefully under the folded blankets of a futon. _

_And there she was left. The sounds of water splashing and the padding of bare feet drifted around. The footsteps wandered away and then back again. There was a soft noise of something being placed nearby. A large white lantern. _

_The girl stirred. "I've been waiting a long time."Her voice was husky. "I nearly got worried."_

_No reply._

_"Should I be worried?"  
The mattress of the futon shifted as another weight entered the bed. "Only if it kills you."  
The woman smiled. "And you?"  
"I can't be killed."_

_"I will drag your stubborn body across the country before I let you come close."_

_A low laugh broke the early morning. "Go back to sleep." His words were hard. Basically a 'shut up'._

_The woman rolled over. "I will keep the lamp lit so you can see it from the road. I'll make you feel guilty if you're late."_

_"I told you to go to sleep."_

_"That's why you bought it, isn't it?"_

_"Hush up." His one arm manoeuvred its way under her shoulders and bent her into his side. _

_"Thank you."  
"Shhh."  
Silence. _

They had become increasingly interested in tracing the past of the Espada. They had found little evidences, little proofs that maybe the life of a Hollow was not a life separate from the soul they had once been. It was different to that of the souls that had been saved which retained their Chain of Fate and the chance to start a new life in a new world. It was different, it was…worthwhile.

Kira ran her fingers though her hair and sat at the side of the table in her solitary room. She poured herself some tea and thought. She felt calm, she felt alright.

She wanted to know what they had found. She knew it was close.

Kira put the ball of her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes. The days had seemed to blur, though they could not have been many. They had been fighting Shinigami and each other. They had denied the researchers permission to see their release form; there was no need outside of battle. The force of the release itself would take down the entire research facility. And the Shinigami understood, finally, the force they were dealing with; how this force was able to create havoc but was not. The only thing they had destroyed was the training ground.

Grimmjow and Kira had both fired very large Cero at each other. The Novena had been thrown against the far wall after tumbling head over heels through the dust. Grimmjow had simply skidded back a few feet, his smile gleaming as he did so.

The balcony and staircase of the building where the Shinigami watched had to be repaired and the healing centres were full of bruises, cuts and other minor wounds caused by the force. After that, fewer spectators came by.

The Novena shook her head, the moments they had captured fleeing past her entirely. She knew she was seeing something; memories or dreams. But they were not yet hers to see.

Not yet. Not yet. Not yet.

Gosh, she had been chasing them for years. Trying to just taste or smell or see or hear the slightest comfort of the life before. The same life as now, just in its different form.

The same life as now. No.

No. It…no.

Maybe.

Kira picked her cup of tea up and sipped it slowly. There had been a lot of different experiments. One had been conducted in a dark room, pitch black. A lot of little balls would be shot out from different directions and the point was to see if the Espada could sense them.

Grimmjow caught every single one.

Kira got every single one except the one that she caught with her shoulder-blade.

0

Mayuri continued to watch, Nemu his pair of back-up eyes.

An hour passed. The Espada went about their solitary lives in their very solitary, single room environment. The Novena drank tea before standing and stretching her form out. It was nearly an elegant routine, the way she lengthened the muscles in her back, the way she moved her arms; it was like Yoga. But not the same at all.

In the other room the Sexta sat. And sat. And stared. And sat. And brooded. And otherwise remained a solitary, unmoving pain in the ass to observe. He did have a drink, but only after requesting Sake. He did roll his shoulders, his neck and move his hands into his pockets when he got bored of having them on his knees.

But the time for sleep was nearing.

The Novena went to fetch her futon from where it was waiting for her. She picked it up, looked around the room for a suitable place to sleep, found one and set the mattress down. She brought over the blanket and the pillow and set them down. For a moment the woman stood above her bed and where it was located. Once satisfied she lay down in it.

Nemu, a small hand-held remote in her hand, turned the lights of the room down. Not out, just down.

Kira was tired of the research now. Or rather, she was tired of not having an answer. She was so tired so felt relaxed. The same thoughts drifted in and out of her head. She knew they were either right or wrong now, but no one was telling her. She didn't know why.

She didn't know.

But then, she did. She did know. She knew it all, but…the girl rolled over. She couldn't find it. What was hidden…she couldn't find it. She couldn't catch it. She didn't know where to look.

Kira stared across the room at the source of light that had been left on. It had been there all the time, but now she really noticed it.

It was a white paper lantern.

She stared at it and felt an emotion that had no name for her. Though it was the same white as everything else, it stood out. It was there.

Mayuri, standing high above, smiled every so vaguely and asked to be read the data of the moment. Sensors around the room were monitoring the physical functions of those inside. They knew how the body was reacting. The Novena's heart had sped up momentarily; she seemed nervous, anxious and sad for a fleeting second. And then it was gone.

The Captain of the twelfth division took a step back from the window to see both rooms down their centre edges.

On one side, the Novena Espada lay in near sleep. On the other side, the Sexta did the same. Without knowing that their comrade was in the room opposite, they had both lined where they would rest alongside where the other would be.

They lay beside each other, even though it was through a wall and beyond their conscious comprehension.

0

_"Are you not nervous?"_

_"Of course I'm nervous."_

_"Today is one of the days all women wait for."  
"Just one of them?"  
"The others all follow this."  
"I don't believe that. Today is not the start of my life. My family had me betrothed to this man before he or I even came into being. Before conception. Such is the tradition of his family and mine. They were not to know his temperament then and I am glad that they have accepted it now. A woman may love a man after seven minutes or a woman may not love a man after even seven years. I don't know if we even had seven minutes, but I was not afraid. I was not afraid then and I am not afraid now. If I do not fear him, then I will not change him. He knew that the first time I spoke. And I…I knew that if it were not him it would be no one else. Not the peasant, the prince, not the journey man or the apprentice . Not even the Emperor himself. I don't have to like him, I will have to learn to love him and I'm going to be with him. Neither of us had a choice. Neither of us argued against that either."  
"You'll have to move away."_

_"And you will come with me; you will be near me as you always have. I hear the house is on the side of a hill with a view of the mountains. There is snow on the balcony in winter and sun in summer. And there are Sakura Trees to read the books from the library under in spring."  
"His family is very powerful. He has inherited their power."_

_Silence. "I know…and…I fear that his power, the threat that poses to other powers may just…"  
"Don't think of that sort of thing today."  
"We are human. All we do from birth is fall and fall and fall towards death. Soon we learn to glide, to pretend to fly and the best thing we can do is enjoy the view and enjoy holding the hand of those who are pretending to fly along side us."_

_"You have always had a strange train of thought."  
"Maybe I should have been born a man."  
"But then I would never get to dress you for your wedding day."_

_0_

Kira woke up, sat up and sighed. She felt fuzzy, like she needed a toothbrush, a hairbrush and a body brush. The Shinigami had only provided basic sanitary items for the evening; basically camping items. Everyone feels fuzzy on the mornings they wake to on a camping trip.

The Novena scratched arm unconsciously and stood. She walked straight to the door, banged on it and waited.

Nothing.

She banged on it again, a sleepy expression on her face. Sleepy and long suffering.

Finally the door opened. Mayuri stood there with the same creepy smile plastered on his face.

"I'm going back to the house." Kira said as she stepped past him. "I am going to have a bath. I am going to eat some real food, and by that I don't mean one of your men. If you need me, come in an hour and a half. I'm out to lunch."

"Hai, hai, Novena. Our research is done. All that is left for you to do in Soul Society is await the results and train the Shinigami. They wish to know how to fight from you. This observation technique takes down buildings." He laughed in a crackling tone. "An Espada to be a teacher of their mortal enemy."  
"Glad to know you're mortal." Kira replied as she walked down the hall. "Do I get the cavalry to guide me back or are you finally aware of our power?"  
"We're aware of your power. We're turning a blind eye."

"You're not blind."  
Mayuri's smile grew sinister. "No, we are not blind. But you are not a baby. You can walk alone."  
"Right." Shinigami crawling on the rooftops, hiding behind corners and standing outside her front door was not 'alone'.

"You will find the Sexta there already, if he has not taken down half of Soul Society."

"He was here overnight?"  
"You're not so special as to inherit individualistic treatment."

Kira waved the man off and turned a corner, she walked down a hallway, through a door and into the sunlight of early morning where things were visible but not quite understood.

0

The Novena dully walked past the Shinigami posted at the entrance to the house they were lent and shut the door with a very normal thud.

"Yo."

"That's my line." Grimmjow said from where he sat at the door leading to the garden. He wasn't looking at the view; he just had his back to the wall beside the door, his head easily resting back.

"How long have you been back?"  
"Longer than you."  
"Thank you, Captain Obvious."  
"You're welcome, Lieutenant Sarcasm." He half grinned, still in a lazy mood.

Kira raised a half amused eyebrow at him. "What sort of tea do you want? I'm going to make a pot and I won't finish it."

"I don't care."  
"Okay. My choice then."

"Csh."

Kira smiled as she headed over to where the tea was. She glanced over at the Sexta Espada as she lit a small fire and put the pot of water over it. It was quiet. It was quiet until the tea was made, poured and carried over. The Novena handed a cup down to Grimmjow before lowering herself down against the wall beside him.

She put her head back and closed her eyes.

"You chose jasmine?" Grimmjow said gruffly.

"What would you have chosen?"  
"Not jasmine."

Kira laughed once. She was tired. He was tired. The research was over and it had been quite a draining experience. The time they had now was the time they had to breathe in space.

"Sake?" She said smoothly.

"That's what I would have chosen." Grimmjow replied.

"Its not tea."  
"I don't care."  
"Are you going to get it?"  
"No."

"Well I'm not going to get it."

Silence.

"Go get it."

"Piss off."

He growled at her.

"Ooo, scary." She glanced at him.

He put his hand over her face and shoved her lightly away. Kira recovered herself after nearly landing on her side and folded her legs under herself so she could face the other Espada.

In a smooth movement, she slid her hand behind his neck and leant forward. She didn't kiss him, she just lingered there, her eyes shut, the sides of their noses touching ever so slightly. Kira felt his hand on her hip. The girl pressed the side of her cheekbone against his jaw and moved herself ever so slightly closer to him.

Grimmjow hadn't even turned to her. But he'd acknowledged her.

The Novena breathed easily and let her fingertips slide silently through the back of the man's hair. She could feel him breathing normally against her neck. It was warm and it drifted through her collarbone.

"When did this happen?"  
"About a minute ago." Came the smooth reply.

Kira smiled and leant back. She met Grimmjow's eye and held it steadily.

"Are you getting the sake or do I have to dislocate your hip?" The warmth of his hand could so easily be a threat.

She shook her head. And she kissed him.

0

_It started out as a feeling, which then grew into a hope, which then turned into a quiet thought, which then turned into a quiet word.  
And then that word grew louder and louder until it was a battle cry. I'll come back when you call me.  
No need to say goodbye_

_(Regina Spektor, The Call)_

0

"Shinigami." A very pleased voice called over a group of black clad, uneasy looking souls. "You want to know how to fight an Arrancar? Well, you're going to learn with the best. Just pray you don't die." Kira crossed her arms and watched Grimmjow very happily threaten the group they had been told to instruct for the day. Soi Fon, Byakuya and Ukitake watched on from close by.

They were in an open area, green grass, blue sky, spring breeze turning chill for winter.

"You don't know when Aizen will come back, or what he will come back with." Kira said coolly from her place. "And we hate him just as much as you, so if you can bring him down, and whoever he has recruited to try slow the process, then I think we'll be even."  
"Even for what?" A Shinigami spat angrily.

Kira drew her eyes to him coldly. "For not getting to our souls in time. You wouldn't have to fight Arrancar if you just stopped souls from becoming Hollow." She smiled at him. "Got it?"

The man was silent. All the Shinigami there were seated members, some Vice-Captains and all quite strong in their own right. The Captains themselves had already dealt with Espada and Arrancar, but they would not risk their men to learn in the same manner that they had.

"So, who thinks they can take this ass on?" Kira thumbed Grimmjow.

Ikkaku stood up and stared down the Sexta Espada. "Oh, I do."

"Fine. Go." Kira stepped away slightly.

"What? Aren't you training us?" Ikkaku said curiously. "Train us to fight your type? I can take him on, but you're supposed to treat us the proper way."

Grimmjow laughed.  
"What proper way?" Kira was also amused. "What way do you think we learnt? Not in an Academy with fine classrooms and controlled sparring environments. We learnt by fighting over and over and over again. Nearly all of them fight's to the death. Then, after that, we tend to spar to keep the boredom at bay and to extend ourselves. But first you have to fight. Just fight."

"In what posture? With offence or defence?"

Kira shrugged. "Go crazy with whatever you want. Just. Don't. Die." Pause. "You were going to fight Grimmjow?"

Ikkaku narrowed his eyes. "Hai."

Less than ten minutes later, the Shinigami lay in a small heap against a tree. Grimmjow was rolling his neck. It had been boring, that one. A nice Shinigami to toy with, but he wasn't being cocky enough.

And so it went on throughout the day. Kira put men, women and small groups of attackers into states of surrender. Grimmjow nearly put them six feet under, but he smiled as he did it and that had to count for something.  
The Sexta was thrashing Shinigami by permission, and gosh, did he enjoy it. He enjoyed it immensely. He hated them and they hated him and he got to firmly put them in their rightful places, face first.

Kira had a slice through her jacket by mid-afternoon. She took the item off and peered at it, then at the Shinigami that had done the damage. The little woman stared straight back. The Novena smiled warmly and nodded in acknowledgement.

The woman blinked as the Espada turned away from her again.

Only the Captains were left.

Grimmjow crossed his arms and eyed them. "Is that all Soul Society can bring to the table."

Byakuya Kuchiki, who Kira only remembered as Rukia's brother, hardly acknowledged the other man. "You know Soul Society can bring much more to the table. Whether it would be worth the while is open to debate."  
"Are you saying that you don't think I deserve to fight the best, or that you don't want to?" Grimmjow grinned.

"I'm saying that it's not worth the effort. We have already fought the Espada." The man's voice was controlled. Slightly condescending. "You are just another."

"Oh?" Grimmjow's eyes thinned ever so slightly. "Are you saying you're better than I am?"  
"I am saying that you are no better than I. That sparring would be pointless."  
The Sexta roared with laughter. "Time you enjoy wasting is not time wasted."  
"I never waste time." Byakuya said evenly as he turned to walk away.

Grimmjow scowled. The Captain was high and mighty. He was one to be crushed. "Scared then?"

"Don't taunt me." The Kuchiki said as he continued on his way.

"Entertain me." The Sexta said in a ruthless manner. The moment before Kira could even blink, he had already lunched at the nobleman.

Byakuya turned, drew his sword and met the Sexta's blade deftly. Soi Fon and Ukitake stood aside, the woman bristling and the man wanting to break the fight up.

"I will not waste my time with you." Byakuya swung his sword and broke Grimmjow away.

"Oh, this is no waste of time." The Sexta grinned. "Right now, you're wasting my time by not bringing anything to the table."

Kira sighed and walked over to where Ukitake stood. "Didn't anyone tell his Kuchiki-highness not to give Grimmjow even a thread of a reason to draw his sword?"

Ukitake half smiled.

Byakuya didn't sheath his sword. Grimmjow laughed and went at him again, using Sonido at the last moment to appear behind the Captain. Just as the man moved to block, the Espada vanished again and came at his open side. The attack was met with the cool ringing of metal on metal.

Byakuya shot a bolt of Kido at Grimmjow.

The Sexta dodged it and used a very obvious attack. He lunged straight forward. At the last moment, when one would usually take a different direction, Grimmjow did not. It was an unpredictable move. He managed to drive the captain back a few steps, chuckling as he did so.

"I am not a waste of time." He said thickly. "I am of a higher rank than you, Kuchiki. I am better than you and I always will be."

"Don't flatter yourself." The Captain drew his sword back and shot it forward. Grimmjow blocked easily but the force caused him to skid slightly.

Just as the pair parted, Soi Fon stepped in. "Enough." She said angrily. "This is not a time for Shinigami and Espada to bicker."

"When is there not a time for Shinigami and Espada to bicker?" Grimmjow mused.

"The time between Aizen's disappearance and his return."

The Espada growled.

Byakuya sheathed his sword.

Kira nodded once at Ukitake and took her leave. By the time she reached the house, it was raining. Grimmjow didn't come until the middle of the night. He was soaking wet and still fuming.

He was brooding, he was hot with rage.

"Kira!" He yelled.

The Novena pulled the covers she was under over her head as he stepped into the room.

"Get out." He hissed.

The girl rolled onto her side and ignored him. He wanted to be alone. He wanted his territory.

"Get. Out."

Kira sighed. "No."

"What?"  
"No. I'm sleeping."

"I'm going to kill you if you don't leave."

"Don't take your anger out on a territorial uncertainty." The girl sat up. "Don't take it out on me. You called me by my name, you are not mad with me. So do not give me cause to be mad at you for being misdirected."  
"Shut up."  
"You lost, Grimmjow. You lost to Kurosaki. You didn't get to even start a half decent fight with Kuchiki. Yeah, it sucks. Build a bridge, grumble and hiss as you do it, and when you're done with that – walk over it. I'm getting really pissed with you being pissed about crap that can be dealt with later."

Dead silence. "What did you just say?"  
"You lost. We've been through this before. I lost too. I took a fall and I fell for a hell of a long time. Sure, its in your nature to be destructive and violent, but please, just…" She stood up. "Please just take this one step at a time. Right now the step you're on is the one that reads 'Defeat that son-of-a-bitch Aizen'. Read it."

Grimmjow stared flatly at her. He was dripping wet. "Csh."

"Look." Kira dropped her tone. "Please, I need you. I know I'm stubborn and seem to be able to think my way into and out of a plastic bag, but…if it weren't for you in Hueco Mundo I would have never made it to Las Noches. So many times I pissed you off, but you didn't kill me. And now I'm here at the end of the world as we know it and you're still pissed, but you haven't killed me. I needed you to be there with me. I need you to be with me now, here. It sucks, it smells of Shinigami, but you are king. You are and I'm your jester. Please, just…use me as your punching bag and try to understand…"  
"I understand." He hissed. "I know what this is all for, and I'm not here for you."  
"You never were there for me. But you were there. That's what mattered."

"What are you saying?"  
"You're a stubborn, egotistical, unnecessarily violent, fight provoking, bastard. I would rather have you kill me before you became anything else and I would rather that you were an ass here, but I wish you would just say it."

"Say what?"  
"Say what you want to say to me."

He stared at her. He'd never, ever, ever, ever, ever say anything she wanted him to say.

Kira closed the gap between them and stood right in front of him. "You don't have a gentle heart at all. You are a stone with no soft spot. But stones can be warm once they've been in the sun. Its been raining and you're not warm and those closest to you are getting cold. You let Kuchiki rain all over your parade with his arrogance. You'll show him. Stop raining on my parade though."

Grimmjow growled.

"Please say it? Just once."

Silence. He was still just as mad. He was just less direct about it. Grimmjow put his hand on her shoulder and moved her out of his way. He peeled his wet clothes off while the Novena just stood there, staring at the space he had been.

The man was in bed, silently brooding, his jaw clenched and his eyes set. He needed to punch something. His anger and his mood had not changed. No one could change him because then he would not be who he was, and then here would be no Grimmjow.

Kira waited in the silence. Waiting. Nothing came. She waited. He wouldn't say it; so she did.

* * *

_I hope you enjoyed the mid-week chapter. I know I enjoyed writing it. _

_I think you may have worked the memory/dream riddle out, even if you haven't worked out whether its reality or not. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I know there is more romance and the usual violent fit of Grimmjow-esque rage; everything is leading to a point. Wait for it. You're nearly there. _

_Please review the chapter and let me know what you thought. I would appreciate it very much and I value all comments and accept constructive criticism. _

_Blessings_

_P. _


	15. Chapter 13

_"People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them"_

- _George Bernard Shaw_

**Chapter 13**

**

* * *

**

It was time for Kurosaki Ichigo to come back to Soul Society. News of Aizen had reached the ears of the Shinigami and they knew things were drawing close. The noose was tightening.

It had been found out that after the Fall, when the bitter chill of Winter came about, that was when Aizen would strike. How did they knew? An Arrancar had come to Karakura Town, a rouge. He had been captured and brought to Soul Society and his loyalty had been found not to lie with Aizen, but with his survival.

The creature sat in a reiatsu compression chamber. He had dark hair, dark eyes and a sloppy smile.

"No. I don't know who he is. Never seen him before." Kira stood at an observation window above the room. "He's new."

Yamamoto exhaled in an elderly way. "Then he is building an army."  
"He has to get through the Shinigami somehow. Doing it himself isn't how his character works. He's making Arrancar footmen. Again."

"Csh." Grimmjow's eyes thinned as he glared at the Arrancar below. "Son of a bitch."

"For making an army as he did before?" Mayuri queried.

"Nah." The Sexta half grinned. "For thinking he could replace me."

Kira tapped her forefinger against her elbow. "What will you do to him?"

"I need a live test subject that is not under the protection of the Goeti 13." Mayuri said eagerly. "I promise he wont be in pain…for long."

"No." Yamamoto replied flatly. "Keep him there. He may be of use yet. He may be able to tell us more. Send the Espada in. He will talk to them easier than to us." The first division captain turned to the Novena. "Find out if there is another group of Espada and what they are capable of."

Kira stared at him silently. "Is that an order?"  
"Yes. It is."

"I do not come under your command."  
"So long as your are in Soul Society, I am your command."

The Novena clenched her jaw. Curiosity to find out the same overcame her urge to defy the Shinigami and she turned away from him sharply, grabbing Grimmjow by the elbow as she left the room.

"Eh?" The Sexta looked at her with a curious anger. "The eff you think you're doing."

"He said we were both to do it."

"I ain't doing anything he said."  
"You can punch him if he doesn't talk."  
"Can I punch you?"  
"I cant believe you just asked that."  
Grimmjow smiled and pushed her off him. The pair went down to the room below where Nemu waited. The door opened and let them in. It did not close behind them. The Shinigami knew how the Espada would react to that, and it was not good. The suppressing abilities of the room did not extend as far as their power.

The Arrancar looked up at them from where he sat on futon against the wall. "Who are you?"

"Sexta Espada, Grimmjow. Novena Espada, Kira."

"Ha. You're not the Sixth or the Ninth. They're very different to you."

"How so?"  
"They're better looking."

Grimmjow let a small twitch lift up the corner of his mouth. "You're cocky. I like that. Got a name?"  
"Leo."

"No number, Leo?" Kira said vaguely.

"Not one between one and nine."  
"Well, since we outrank you then, it is your duty to serve us."

"You do not serve Aizen."  
"Neither do you." Kira replied coolly.

The man sighed. "You know what Las Noches is like. Boring, white, dark."

"And Aizen?"  
"Aizen is waiting."

"Waiting for what?"  
"For more bitches like you to show up."

In a deft motion, Grimmjow had the man by the collar. His fist found the corner of his jaw as he let out a laugh. "You're right about the bitch part, but you're wrong with the non-cooperative part."

Leo stretched out to hit the Espada but missed as he was hauled across the room and into the far wall.

Kira padded over to him and knelt by his folded side. "Now, you've already spoken about the when. We know the why. We need to know the who. Who are the new Espada? What are their abilities?"

The Arrancar growled and grabbed her by the collar, just as he bad been grabbed moments before. "I'm pissed off now."

Kira broke his grip on her easily and drove the tips of her fingers straight into the man's stomach. He groaned at the sharp pain and gasped for air.

"Did you not hear? I am the Novena Espada. Aizen cannot replace me until I'm dead. You will tell us the details. You will tell us so we can bring that bastard to the ground."

"You think you can overthrow Aizen?" Leo laughed breathlessly. "You are truly stupid."

Grimmjow picked the man up by his hair and brought his face close to his. The Sexta decked the man hard in the face. He then placed his forearm over Leo's collarbone and growled happily. "Ehhhhh." He hissed with a smile. "Baka. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. And right now, both work well for me since we haven't even reached 'easy' yet. Savvy?"

The man was silent, bruised, bleeding from a gash on his lip while more blood trickled from his nose. He breathed heavily.

Kira glanced at the ground. "Let's go."

"Eh?" Grimmjow stared at her.

"Let's go." She turned her attention to the Arrancar. "You will write down the names and numbers of every current Espada in Las Noches and you will tell us what their strengths and weaknesses are. You will tell us everything. You will because you are like us, you want out of Aizen's world and the only way to do that is to take Aizen down. You understand?"

Leo wheezed and nodded as Grimmjow dropped the force on his chest. The Arrancar dropped to his knee's as the blue haired man walked away smugly.

Just as the prisoner relaxed and thought he was going to be left alone, the Sexta turned around and spat the word 'BOO' at the man. The Arrancar flinched as the Espada laughed at his game.

"You got carried away." He heard the woman say to the Sexta as they left.

And just before the door closed, he saw him put his hand on her head in a manner that was not threatening. It was nearly fond. Grimmjow was in the last breaths of his laugh, rough and bitter but not still fully unleashed. He was not chained or tied or anything, he wasn't even settled or different.

Maybe it didn't take too much to make him content.

0

By this time the Shinigami had worked out where the Espada were staying. It was exceptionally confronting at first for the Novena to have a throng of people scowling with their eyes and mouths. Security had been put up around the area, but the occasional prowler got through. If Grimmjow got to them before a seated member did, the fourth division would have another visitor. So far only two young and easily angered men had been thrown onto the street.

The Shinigami populace was not happy with the presence of Hollow in their home. It was a threat. Their territory, their lives…those things. It was disgusting.

Kurosaki Ichigo could feel the tension as he walked through Soul Society. It pressed in silently. The young man had Rukia at his side. They had already been to see the Arrancar and the work Mayuri had done with him. He was newly created, new to his power. He was probably one of those who Aizen didn't watch because he had no further potential.

He was the pawn that got sacrificed first.

Which led to the idea; was he supposed to be caught? Was this part of Aizen's plan? It put everyone on edge.

"This is annoying." Ichigo muttered.

Rukia didn't reply to him.

"Is Grimmjow around?"  
"He's training."  
"Right."  
"With the girl."  
"Not with the Shinigami?"  
"Soul Society quickly worked out that taking down something as powerful as an Espada was not possible for anyone who is not a seated member of a division. Only seated members are fighting them now; those who didn't get any combat experience first time around."

"Fine." Kurosaki was grave. "How much longer do they need to remain here?"  
"Until Aizen is defeated."  
"What?"

"They will comply with our rules until then. They know that Aizen cannot be taken out without the aid of Soul Society. When he has fallen, we expect them to vanish."

"Vanish where?" Kurosaki spat. "Here?"  
"You think they'll die?"

"They cannot continue as they are."

"Mayuri-san has put together his analysis and is addressing the Goeti 13 this afternoon. Your arrival, and the arrival of the captured Arrancar have been timed quite well. Hueco Mundo has many secrets to spit out, and it seems we may have uncovered one of them."  
0

_A large gate heaved itself open, two insignia on each side separating themselves from each other to let a group of flighty horses through. _

_She had seen them coming from the balcony and had already run down, barefoot, to the courtyard. The white horse hadn't been the first in line. It had been near the middle, though it did press forward to be in front. _

_The young woman arrived just as the first of the men landed down from a large chestnut. _

_"Ma'am…" He stammered. _

_Another person dismounted, though their landing was not quite as firm as it should be. The woman reached forward and caught him as he stumbled. She had to kneel under his weight, the stones of the entry cold against her knees. _

_"What happened?" She looked at the first man. _

_"You have always known that he was not liked. You have always known that he stood higher than anyone else in a place they wanted to be."_

_"Shut up." Came a rough voice. _

_The young woman looked down. The man she was holding was bleeding from a wound to his side, a short but deep gash on his shoulder and a small hole in his torso. Her hands were covered in his blood. _

_"No you shut up." She said flatly to him. "I'm asking what happened."_

_"Five men ambushed us."_

_"What did they want? We are not at war. You were not carrying anything of value."  
"They wanted his life."_

_"Well they didn't try hard enough." The man laughed from the ground. _

_The woman twisted as much as she could to speak to those from the house who stood behind her. "Get the doctor." She turned back to the man who had been speaking to her. "Get him to his room."_

_"Hai." _

_She turned to the person in her lap. "And you, you're going to be quiet. Please?"_

_He growled at her. _

_"No. You're hurt. Just be still for a moment. Don't make it worse."_

_"Baka. You screwed your kimono up."_

_She glanced down and saw the front of her clothes soaked with blood. The woman laughed the tone breathy and relieved. "It'll wash out." _

_Ten careful minutes later and the man was in the room with the balcony, laying on a mat with a doctor kneeling beside him. He had his shirt off, revealing that the gash and the hole were arrow wounds and that the wound on his side had been inflicted by a heavy blow. _

_The doctor dipped a cloth in a bowl of water. It had been stained with herbs with antiseptic properties. The moment he put it on the first wound, his hand was caught in a vice and his ears rang with the curse of the man he was treating._

_The young woman, who was kneeling on the other side, took the cloth from the doctors captured hand and met the injured man's eye. She held it as she pressed the linen to his injury, nearly trembling from the thought that he could just strike out and stop her at any moment. _

_He hissed sharply. _

_"Shh." She replied to him. "You're all cocky when someone hits you with a sword but you're a big baby when it comes to pulling yourself back together."_

_He didn't reply. They both knew that wasn't true. _

_By the end of the afternoon, the man was bandaged and under orders to not put any strain on the wound to his side. This turned out to be a difficult task as it was the side he bent and stretched when rising and sitting at the low tables in the house, the one he used to open doors, to lift things. _

_The woman called the carpenter and ordered a high seat, long enough to recline on and elegant enough for permanent use. It would be her reminder to him that he was not a god and that she was going to force him to keep his promise to her. _

_A week later and the item arrived. Through initial loathing, the man grew to use it, even after his injury was healed. The woman read on it and waited for him in the early afternoon. _

_Soon after he'd returned with the white lantern, she'd sit by its light into the darkness if he continued his solitary life. It was okay. They were both solitary. But they both came together. _

_Her family insignia was on the one side of the gate and his on the other. He was away most days, sometimes for days at a time, conducting business. During these times, she would venture out and explore. She would go and be with the people; she would go and talk to the men on the docks who had just returned from exotic places. _

_And then when they both came back, the light of the lantern went out and the waiting was over. _

_0_

0

Kira caught herself with her hands and forearms just before her face potentially smacked into the ground. She had to twist sharply to avoid being crushed by Grimmjow on his way down.

The Novena swung her body around tightly, straightening her leg as she crouched onto the other. She kicked out and caught the Sexta just below the knee as he landed. He stumbled forward and it left her just enough time to launch up onto his back.

Grimmjow laughed and simply dropped his whole body weight backwards. Kira scrambled to get out of the way and not get crushed into the dirt by his spine. Just as she got out of the way, his fist came down into her stomach.

The girl gasped for air as her body doubled over. Grimmjow stood over her with his hands hanging loosely at his sides. "Now you suck as much as you did in Las Noches."

Kira scowled up at him. "I'm still the Novena."  
"And I'm still the sixth. Don't forget."  
"Yeah." She inhaled deeply and quickly stepped forward.

In a quick motion, she dug her shoulder into the soft skin just below his ribcage and used his own bodyweight to topple him.

"And now we're even." She said with a smile. He wasn't even winded.

Grimmjow shoved her off him. Kira balanced away and sat down easily as she tried to catch her breath.

"You run out of gas so fast. It's weak."

"Not if I take my opponent down fast."  
"You can't take me down fast."  
"Yeah, but you're an ass."

Grimmjow let out a short laugh. "Get up."  
"No." Kira dropped onto her back. "No more. Don't bruise me any more and I won't scratch some skin off your arm." His first hit, her first hit.

"Csh." The Sexta stood.

"Oh. Bathroom is mine. If we're doing the whole 'Shinigami' thing, then I need to not be covered in dust and blood."

"And me?"  
"What dust and blood?"  
He grinned.

"Help me up." Kira lifted her hand up.

Grimmjow turned and walked away. "Come on."

The girl groaned and staggered to her feet before letting them drag her all the way back to the house and into the bath. By the time she came out, her muscles were still sore, her shoulder was bruised, her hip, her knuckles, her ankle…but she looked better.

"So this thing today...Mayuri is going to reveal his results." The Novena ran her fingers through her hair. "We will know if we're souls or something worse."

"Eh." Came the disinterested reply.

"It'll be nice to know if we are still the same basic soul as the one before we died and went to Hueco Mundo. It would change things. Now how Hollow and Shinigami fight…but rather…how they see the level of soul we are. Maybe we've regained what we lost the day we lost ourselves."

"I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times; shut up with the jibber jabber on mind crap."

"Do you think we lost ourselves?"

Scowled silence.

"I don't either. I think we just found the side of ourselves that had to survive. Retained our core instincts and characteristics and if they were strong enough – we survived." Kira wandered over to where Grimmjow stood at the door to the garden. "And I don't think…well…I know I wouldn't have made it without you. We'd have survived, but I would have not been able to appreciate how far I've come."

"I told you to shut up." He glanced down at her.

Kira silently wrapped her fingers around his forearm and put her other hand on his shoulder. "Better?"

"Better." He said lowly.

0

_Months after the first incident, the man returned home with bruises and a few cuts around his shoulders. They had tried again, and he had won. The blood on his shirt was not his and the smile on his face was one of victory. _

_The woman's hand-maiden, with a worried expression, hurried up to the room where the girl was serving herself some tea and waiting for him to get his own on his own. _

_"Excuse me. I am sorry. I need to speak my mind." She was flighty. _

_"Hai. What is it?" The young woman said easily. "You are troubled."_

_"Yes. Yes, I am. I have known you since you were a baby and I have grave fears. These people who try to usurp this family…they will not stop. Don't you see? His power, his determination, his character; they are a danger to those around him, he is a threat. And you, your quickness, your mind, the way you conduct yourself is an influence on whatever life you will one day bare."  
"What are you trying to say?" The woman was still calm and easy. _

_"Alone, you two are separate. You two are still two different people who will not be tied down. You are stubborn and free willed. You are like wild horses, going where you please, ruling those around you without consciously doing so. But if you bare a son, he will be influenced by your individual traits. He will be as powerful as the two of you at your peaks, but combined."_

_"Again, what are you trying to say?"  
"They will come for you too, my lady. The risk of your two households producing an heir to carry on both legacies, to carry both strengths…it is too much for your competitors. It is too much. You have always survived, you have always come through, but they will not just attack him. They will come for you."_

_The man glanced sideways at the wrinkled woman. "The son of a general and the daughter of a merchant? They will not destroy this household."  
"The son of the general closest to the emperor. The daughter of the advisor to the royal family itself. You control the highest level of high. You are elite. You are above all except the Emperor himself."_

_"We are not our titles. You know that." The woman replied. _

_"But they don't. They don't know. They see the facts, the possibilities, the chance that they will be snuffed out; and they will take every chance to stay alight. Just as you do."  
"They will fail."_

_"How do you know?"_

_"Because I will not fail on my word." She met the eye of the man across the table from her. "Don't die." _

_"Yes, but…" The old woman stammered. _

_"I've heard enough." The man said flatly. "Quite your chatter. Its annoying."  
"Sir, but…" _

_"I said enough." He drew his eyes coolly to her. "Leave."_

_"H…hai." She bowed quickly and scurried out of the room. _

_"There was no need to be so harsh." The woman said smoothly. "She means well."_

_"Pointing out the obvious is supposed to be a good thing?"_

_"Only if you think that those you are telling are blind." The woman leant across the table and put a hand on the man's. "Because of you I, don't know if I have been changed for the better but I know I have been changed for good. With you, I can be who I am without restriction. I can evolve. It would be easier on my own, but running into you every now and then would not be horrible. I know I am able to be who I am because I know you. Before that, I had no memory. And I do not want to remember." _

_"You're never turn that think off, do you?"_

_"No." She smiled.  
"Turn it down then." _

_The woman laughed. "You and I have always supposed to be together, but we are not in the conventional sense. You are so much your own creature and I am so much my own. We were always supposed to collide with each other, and maybe we will do so again and again if we separate."  
"Oh, joy."_

_She smiled. "Just…keep your promise. I'll wait to make sure you keep your word just as you keep coming back to make sure I keep mine."_

0

The Captains had all been assembled. Kurosaki Ichigo was not present, but Grimmjow knew he was in Soul Society. He had known since the moment the red-head had walked in. His apathy remained consistent in his expression, but the way his hands occasionally shifted as he smiled to himself were the near-invisible evidence that he was still oh-so looking forward to fighting the Shinigami again. It was like waiting for the end of a final game when you have all the confidence that your team will be the one that will win.

The Novena and the Sexta were met at the door to the meeting room by Mayuri and Nemu. The scientist was beaming in a sinister manner.  
"You have been wonderful specimens." He said with too much ease as he walked past them and opened the door. "Come now, I will not wait for you."

Kira glanced over at Grimmjow. He had his arms crossed, his expression bored. He rolled his neck and told the Novena to move. She rolled her eyes at him and followed Mayuri into the room.

The line of Captains always tasted like a threat. It always would be a threat. They were standing there, on either side, watching, waiting, perceiving, observing…they were a set of 13 eyes that stared straight through you at every angle.

The door shut with Nemu just inside. It was silent.

Yamamoto, leaning lightly on his staff, waited patiently for things to settle. "Espada." His voice penetrated the nothingness. "The time has come for us to decide what to do with you. We have experience fighting you, we have studied you physically and mentally and we have seen that you can live among us without being a destructive force." He opened his eyes slightly to them. "And I believe that all of these things are things you are opposed to, that go against your nature and instinct. Would I be right."

Silence. Yes. It had all been invasive. Privacy had been discarded without their consent and secrets taken and kept from them without them even knowing.

"Hmm." The first division captain settled his voice. "Mayuri, what have you found?"

The sinister voice of the Scientist drifted over the room like nails over a chalk board. "Many, many things." He mused. "The first thing I uncovered was that, when comparing the structure of Hollow and Espada, they were found to be completely different. The former has no mental awareness other than that of instinctive reaction; the latter has all the mental functions of a normal Soul, functions like Shinigami. In fact, the similarities between them and us are astounding. Brilliant. They nearly touch our world but their rawness keeps them from it. They have every physical attribute we do; they have lungs, intestines, veins and a heart; the hole…that was a difficult riddle. Oh yes. Very difficult. Very interesting. It is indeed where the Chain of Fate was removed, but nothing else. This leads me to believe that when a Soul is in the human world and not passed on to Soul Society, they are neither here nor there. They have reiatsu, but they do not need food or drink or sleep; they just need to solve whatever it is that is keeping them in the world so they can pass on. This problem is countered by the resolution of that problem, a Soul Burial or the process of turning into a Hollow. They could be one and the same."

What this man was saying was…it was controversial, absurd, confusing, profound and everything other emotion conceived. He was suggesting that becoming a Hollow was likened to being sent to Soul Society.

"Now, as I have mentioned before," Mayuri raised a finger "Hollow and Espada are not the same. Just as humans are believed to have evolved over time, as have they. Their first form is the ape, then the Neanderthal, the first man, then the modern man. But they did this in one life span. It's remarkable. Remarkable. The data from all the Arrancar and Espada I have collected prove this. It is consistent. It is unheard of."

The scientist smiled creepily. "So Novena, you were right. You are not an animal. You are a soul."

She glanced at him. Kira felt a burden ease off her. That was what she had come to know. It was like the weight on her chest had been lifted and she could breathe freely. The relationship between Espada and Shinigami would change.

No.

No it wouldn't.

They were still enemies. Just as Shinigami could be enemies with each other.

"I guess you could say that the Arrancar are a hybrid of souls that, if in Soul Society would have become Shinigami, and the power of Hollow. They are the balance on the knife edge." Mayuri was lost in his own thought. He paused for a long moment. "Yet…there is one thing. One thing. I collected data that linked the Espada to the souls they were before they became what they are. Even into the human lives they had."

At this Kira paused herself. That had been something else for her. It had been a dream; one she could never remember.

"The Novena and Sexta have known each other since their Adjucas forms. But I have found that they may have known each other before they passed on in the Real World. It would have been around two hundred years ago when this happened."

Kira frowned. She and Grimmjow had always had this weird, inescapable ability, or malfunction, that drew them towards each other constantly. So much so that they had just continued to let it happen. But it was not a product of something else. Surely. Surely relationships…maybe they did transcend lifetimes.

"It is rare that a soul will remember its previous life. We already know that. But now I am led to believe that a soul, if bound strongly enough to another, may not have those cords severed. Even if they do not know the other in their next life, they may have been very close in the life before. Consciously or not. By choice or not."

"What are you saying?" Yamamoto was interested. The other Captains were listening, each with a different emotion. Some interested, some controversial.

"I am saying," Mayuri stepped out and walked in front of the Espada pair. "I am saying that…from what I have found, you knew each other. You were mates in a former life, just as you are in this life."  
"Hold up."Kira stopped him. "Mates?"  
"Partners, spouses, a couple."

She stared flatly at him and didn't say anything. She couldn't find the words for what she wanted to say because there were none. Couple? Mate? It was the same thing, wasn't it? It was…she and Grimmjow…it was…it wasn't something someone said out loud. It wasn't something someone confirmed. It wasn't spoken of. Not for what they were. Not for who they were.

"If what I have uncovered is true, you two were both part of important families liked to the Emperor. Before children were even thought of, you two were already engaged. You would always have been paired because of the power of your origins. And because of this power; the uniting of these two forces…it was a deep threat. From there your families could have been able to rule the Empire. Your line would have been rulers. You were part of the select elite. These things that line up, that are parallel to your life now; they are rare and un-thought of. And yet…because of this threat, you were snuffed out by those opposed to the idea. Why you did not pass on to Soul Society is something I cannot yet grasp. Whether you are the same people now is something I cannot confirm; especially since you have no memory of these events."

Kira nearly swore. She looked at Grimmjow who was just standing there with his hands in his pockets. She nearly hit him. He was being so suave and cool and…so much of himself that it bugged her. This news…this…whatever it was…holy shit. Kira didn't even know if she had wanted to know that.

"We...we were…?"

"Possibly." Mayuri said easily.

"Geez, you just wont piss off, will you?" She said to Grimmjow.

"Me?" He said flatly at her. "Csh."

Kira glared at him. And then she wanted to laugh. It didn't matter. She didn't care. Whatever. It didn't change a thing and it never would. It explained some things, but it wasn't going to alter them. That she knew for sure. Just as they wouldn't speak of what they were to each other, they wouldn't speak of what they had possibly been to each other.

"Now," Mayuri spoke into the quiet "I did some research and found some old records from the Real World. They report a young nobleman and his wife both being assassinated within the same week for reasons I have already suggested. Both had survived previous attempts, both were seemingly untouchable; but everyone dies." He smiled easily.

0

_"What are you doing?" An amused a shocked voice flitted through the kitchen. "That's not for you! Stick to the normal brew in-case the Master finds out." _

_A short laugh followed. "Its fine, I promise. The pot holds five cups and they always drink just two each."_

_"It's just the Lady in this morning."_

_"I know. I used the pot that makes three." The maid smiled. "She'll be happy. It's her favourite."_

_"Fine, fine. But I get the next uneven numbered item that comes out of this kitchen. Okay?"_

_"Even if it's the dishes?"  
"Anything uneven that tastes nice."_

_The other woman laughed as she watched her friend carry a tray out with the tea pot and a single cup balanced on it. _

_The young woman of the house was sitting at the seat in her room, holding a book as an Fall wind blew the curtains around. _

_"Your tea." The woman came in the door backwards. "You're reading again?"_

_"I'm always reading." The woman smiled. "When I'm not doing other things." _

_"Yes, but now you read things about places you wish to go to. I am an old lady now, my dear; I cannot travel far with you."_

_"Oh, I wont make you travel far. I want to work out the riddles though, the people and their secrets."_

_"You will become a regular gossip and matchmaker." The nurse poured the young woman a cup of tea. "And I will be very proud."_

_She smiled as she took the cup. "Thank you." _

_The older woman leant forward and kissed the girl on the forehead. "I have chores to attend to now, but I will come and talk with you later. Lord knows that you need someone to reel your thoughts off to."_

_After a happy moment of silence later, the door clicked shut. The young woman drank her tea and read her book and thought about the things she wanted to know. _

_An hour later, the woman's old nurse walked into the kitchen to collect a light lunch when she stopped dead in her tracks. The kitchen maid was silent on the floor, just laying there in a grotesque manner. It was as if she had tripped and forgotten how to get up. _

_The nurse quickly dropped to her side and shook her, calling her name. But then something caught her eye. They had received new produce the day before. New rice, new meat, new tea. The packaging was the same, but the seal…the woman fingered the seal…it had been opened more than once. _

_With a short intake of breath, she took off from her place and ran through the house. She pulled the door to the young woman's room open with a sharp tug. _

_The figure on the couch was light, she was sitting with both her feet on the ground and her back slightly arched at the shoulders. Her hair fell over her back and her eyes were on the open book balanced in her hands. It slid forward to her fingers and landed silently on the floor. Dead silent. _

_She blinked very slowly and looked over at the woman who had known her from birth. _

_The nurse rushed over and caught her just as she stumbled forward. The young woman was still breathing. _

_"My Lady? You need a doctor." _

_She made a small noise in reply. _

_"What?"_

_The young woman's eyes travelled to where the white lantern sat in its place and back to the old woman. She told her without words to light it when it started to get dark. Light the lantern. _

_The old woman nodded. "Oh, my little girl…" She stopped as a cold hand found her arm and then went statue still as the figure she was holding became nothing more than a body. _

_That afternoon, the lantern was lit. _

_That afternoon, the one after it and the one after that one. On the fourth evening, a man on a horse rode up. He dropped to the ground as soon as he dismounted. In front of him, the weight that pulled him down, was a man. The body of a man. Bloody and covered in dirt. _

_Silent as his wife._

0

The pair wandered around Soul Society silently for a while after that. Kira got what she wanted, and now because of the captured Arrancar, Grimmjow was closer to getting what he wanted.

The Shinigami had been ordered to give them space for the rest of the day. They were nearby, but not right up close with their reiatsu up to borderline threatening.

"So, that was weird."

"Csh."

"I mean, it was interesting, and ha 'I told you so' that we were souls. Ha ha ha ha ha." She said to him in a slightly cocky manner.

"Yeah? So?"  
"And if Mayuri was right, you and I were married. Do you know what that means?"

"What?" He answered gruffly.

"I could file for harassment, physical abuse, verbal abuse…"  
"I could file for divorce." He stopped her short, his expression and posture unmoved.

Kira half smiled as his hand reached out to clamp over her scalp. She elbowed him and pushed his grip away. It simply dropped over her far shoulder.

"You are such a push over." The Novena pulled her hair out from where the weight of his arm was pulling it out of her head. "You're giving me whiplash on a minute-to-minute basis."

"Shut up."

"I never shut up."

He glared down at her. "Are you following me around like a sick little puppy?"  
"You know, I wanted to go for a solitary walk too. You're just always there and its…its okay. Grimmjow, I don't care what we were to each other whenever we were human."

"Well good, because I don't give an effing damn." Pause. "Now shut up or push off."

"If I push off, you're going to walk around a corner and right in to me." She ducked out from under his arm. "And your little dominating yet lazy headlock will just wrap its way over my shoulders again. I am not yours, Grimmjow."

"Well, I'm glad you know. I wouldn't have marked any territory near you. You're just a little brat."

"Well, consider me a freebie with your 'Stabby McStab' meal."

"Stabby McStab?" He laughed mockingly.

"Fine, all hail the Sexta Espada and his little pathetic brat of a mate." She mocked right back.

"Now, was that so hard?" He grumbled at her.

0

In a room above Soul Society sat Ichigo, Renji, Rukia, Matsumoto and Ikkaku. They had just heard the news that had come from the meeting.

"Bull shit." Renji said flatly.

"Renji." Rukia shot him a look.

"No, he's right. Its bull. This is bull." Renji spat. "There is no way an animal like that; who eats souls and delights in destruction is a soul."

"And the research?" Matsumoto mentioned.

"Screw it." Ikkaku replied.

"Guy, wait." Kurosaki glanced out the window. "I hate to say it, but they were right. The goddamn Novena Espada was right."

"And Grimmjow?" Renji rumbled.

"Grimmjow is no different. My view of him is no different to the view I have of his mate. My relationship with him; that will end the day he or I ends."

"We have no choice now." Rukia said as she looked at her hands. "If they…are what they are truly suggested to be, this will not change how we deal with Hollow or Arrancar. They are still the enemy. We just know more about them. We know that…at the highest level…they deserve respect."

Silence.

* * *

I really hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please let me know what you thought. Constructive criticism is always welcome and I do value and reply to my reviewers.

Thank you so much to those who have been reading and reviewing so far. You are wonderous. Quite wonderous indeed.

I've said this before and I'll say it again; if I ever let an original character out of character then you have permission to kick me in the shins and force me to right that wrong.

Blessings,

P.


	16. Chapter 14

_"We are not long here; our time is but a breath so we better breathe it."_

- _Brooke Fraser, C.S Lewis Song_

**Chapter 14**

* * *

Kurosaki Ichigo was under a cloud of displeasure and anxiety. It had formed overnight shortly after he was told by Byakuya that he and Rukia would be part of the escort that would take the Espada to a new house closer to the Academy and First Division Barracks.

Kenpachi had been assigned the duty, but the Captain had proved more eager to get into a fight; hence why he had not been selected earlier. Byakuya had then been the next choice; he had agreed.

This is what the Novena and the Sexta had been told; they would be relocated. And yet…they had already been told that all the training and research was over. That there was no more. Unless they were being moved under a higher watch, to a prison or to their deaths nothing else made sense.

They would not be trusted in a battle against Aizen. That battle they would have to fight on their own. As a temporary ally to the Shinigami; just for the duration of the battle, and then no one knew.

Kira had found some solitude in the garden and thought about it all. They had not broken any Soul Society law, but they were still the natural enemies of the Shinigami. They were still seen as a threat. They were still deadly. They were still Espada.

Nothing in her mind settled. It just floated there as she left it in space, waiting for her to return to it. She now knew that she had once been alive and human and that she had always been an individual of power. She knew that she was not simply a Hollow anymore. She knew she was a soul. And yet…knowing, understanding and comprehending are different things.

What to do with such information was difficult. Kira knew it wouldn't change any relationship she had, it didn't change who she was. It just made the next step a little more difficult. It made it a real step, not one taken by an animal or a monster.

0

Byakuya, Renji, Rukia and Ichigo stood outside the front of the house the Espada currently occupied. Their reiatsu was resting yet listless. It was like watching a lion on the edge of a game park; a wild animal discovering a fence that hadn't been there before. It paced, settled and walked back towards its territory. They had their world, their space, and it was more than enough.

But the presence of Shinigami; that was their fence. The thing that stopped them in their tracks and let them know the world was not theirs.

"Kurosaki Ichigo." Byakuya's voice was calm, in control and in character. "You and Rukia go inform the Espada it is time to move."

"What?" The redhead stared at the captain. "Sending me is a dumb idea, Byakuya. It will cause a fight with Grimmjow."

The man sighed. "The Espada will not attack you until he wishes to."  
"Which is all the time." Came the mumbled reply.

"Are you disobeying orders?" The Kuchiki put the Substitute Shinigami under the direct force of his gaze.

"N…no." Ichigo said. He regained his composure. "I'm just telling you it's a dumb idea."

"Just get them." Renji mentioned.

"Hai…hai…" Kurosaki mumbled. "Rukia…let's go."

"Hai." She said easily as she followed the young man up the path. "Pull yourself together, Ichigo. You're the one who told Grimmjow that you would fight him anywhere, anytime he wanted. Orihime was there, she told me. It's your own fault." She crossed her arms.  
Ichigo sighed as he pushed the door to the house open, his expression moody.

"Oi!" The man said to the empty living area. "Oi! Its time to go!" Pause. No reply. "Eh?"

Kurosaki slid the door to the garden open. No one was out there. He slid the door to the bathroom open. No one was there. Rukia stood, arms still crossed at the door to the sleeping quarters.

"You really need to get better at sensing reiatsu." She said with a small smile.

Ichigo stubbornly and silently admitted that the girl was right and slid the door to the bedroom open easily. "Oi-." He stopped.

The number nine was the first thing the young man saw, followed by the line of a spine, the contours of a pair of shoulder blades, the slight curve of a waist and then its disappearance below the covers. Her hair was pulled over her shoulder, spilling over in the opposite direction to the one she faced.

A heavy arm rested over the small of her back, holding the female in place on top of him. She was laying with her stomach against his, her head on his chest, her one arm up and behind his neck and the other near her side, the fingers reaching up closely to the Sexta's shoulder.

The hand Grimmjow had embedded under the pillow moved up, lifted up and told the Shinigami in none to polite terms to eff off.

Kurosaki reacted more to the one-fingered salute than he did to the sight of the Espada resting. "Oi. We're leaving now."

"Good. Eff off." Grimmjow grumbled.

Kira's eyes were now open. They had both been awake since the Shinigami had come near the house.

"You know you're being relocated today."

"Excuse me, Kurosaki?" Kira mentioned easily. "Do you not see an invasion of privacy when you see one? You should knock on the front door of a house and wait for the occupants to reply."

"You're giving me a lesson in manners?"  
"Has it worked. You should try from the beginning. Kuchiki, please take Kurosaki outside, close the front door, knock and wait for us to reply."

"What?" Ichigo said. "Why?"  
"Its called respect, Kurosaki." Kira said flatly, closing her eyes again.

There was an exasperated sigh, the sound of footsteps receding and the front door shutting. Then there was a knock.

"How long before they realise?" The Novena said quietly.  
Grimmjow growled. Kurosaki's voice had made him pleasantly angry. His grip around her tightened.

The knocking continued. Then the queries, then the 'I know you're in there', then the insults and the yelling and finally the opening of the door.

Ichigo stormed into the room where the Espada were still resting. They hadn't moved an inch. "What the hell!"

Rukia, arms still crossed, was also unimpressed.

Grimmjow shifted his arm, grabbed the blanket and pulled it up to Kira's shoulders. He then sat up sharply, causing the girl to slide beside him and land on her back on the edge of the futon. The blanket had moved up under her nose in the process and she sneezed deftly before moving it out of the way; she too was unimpressed.

"Piss off, Kurosaki." Grimmjow said in a nails-on-chalkboard voice. He was on the verge of laughing at how he had managed to push the Shinigami's buttons without getting within a meter of him. How much fun it would be to punch him. "We got your message."

"Get out of bed." The Shinigami waited.

"You want me to get out of bed?" Grimmjow said questioningly, smiling slightly. "How easy is it to make your girlfriend blush?"

Light bulb lit. Kurosaki quickly retracted his statement. "Okay. Okay. We're waiting in the main room. If you're not in there in five minutes…."

"Yeah. Yeah. Push off." Grimmjow growled.

The door slid closed. Kira had to stop herself from laughing. She was still slightly displeased about being toppled onto the edge of the bed. "Not cool." She said flatly. "I know you're all angry and such but just ask me to move. I'll move. I don't want to start the day with a bruise."

"Csh."

"But well handled otherwise. Not letting me answer the door; good move."

Grimmjow smiled wickedly.

0

_It was winter. Winter morning. When the sun is white, not yellow and the tree's had already put on their white garments. Up in the country, things got quite chilled. Fires and doors and hot water kept the cold at bay, but the first moments of morning are always the worst. _

_That first moment when the covers slip of your shoulders and you realise that the world isn't quite as warm and comfortable as you thought. _

_A figure shifted and half lifted their shoulders off the futon. The man propped himself up on one elbow as he turned to look at the darkness that shut off the balcony view. Doors and thick curtains had been closed over the outside. _

_A sleepy, displeased sound stirred up beside him. A hand found the top of his shoulder as a dark head found its place against his shoulder blade. _

_The man turned his head slightly to her. "What?"_

_The young woman turned his torso to her and pressed her cheekbone against the firm skin bellow his collarbone. She made a hazy noise. "Uh uh." She disagreed at his movement. _

_The man stared down at the top of her head before letting himself down into his back. The girl pulled the covers up right over her head. Her breath was warm through her husband's shirt. Her fingers held onto it slightly. _

_He pulled the blanket down to reveal her head and placed a hand on top of it. _

_She pulled the covers up over her entire self again, covering his arm up to the elbow in the process. "If you leave it won't be warm."_

_"It's not my problem."_

_"I don't care." Her voice was muffled. _

_"You're so soft. You'd break so easily."_

_Silence. She peeled the covers down slightly. "I still envy you. You get to go on adventures and all I get to do is think about them. Think about life. Life is an adventure. Here I have a life and I can be alive, this here is an adventure. But I still envy you and your horses, your maps and your ability to wander in more than a garden."_

_"Ha." The man scoffed. "You think you'd survive an adventure? Any adventure, even this one?" He was smug._

_"I promise I'll survive."  
He sighed lethargically and moved his hand from her head to her shoulders. "You're so full of shit."_

_She stared flatly at him. "Just because you're from a high up family doesn't mean you're a gentleman." _

_"Did I ever claim to be a gentleman?" He eyed her.  
The young woman held his gaze. "No, because then you would be the one that is full of shit." _

_The man laughed at her abrupt curse. It was seemed so misplaced but it was also so fitting; she was defiantly unpredictable. Delicate, impossible and a pain in the arse. _

_0_

"The seals are malfunctioning." A small voice entered a dark room.

It was lit by monitors. Monitors that were watched by an eager face. "Then fix them."

"We are trying."

"Nemu, why are you bothering me?" The voice changed to maliciously curious.

"The seals that keep the Espada from opening a Garganta are not working properly."

"They do not know that such a precaution has been taken."

"Captain…"

Mayuri smiled widely. He knew. He knew that the seals were malfunctioning. He that creatures such as Espada would, if they had the need to open a portal into their world, go to the best place to do so without even realising. They would instinctively know.

There would be a place where the seals would be at their weakest; where malfunction would cause them to be soft and easy to break. It would still be hard, but it was possible.

The 12th Division captain watched his monitors. He watched them. And he knew. And he waited.

0

The Novena and the Sexta Espada were walked easily through the streets of Soul Society. Shinigami would stop to look at them. Grimmjow would occasionally meet the eye of one of them and dismiss them easily, earning anger or disgust as a result. He would smile a few steps later.

Kira watched all the people watch her. She didn't feel like a gold-fish, but rather one of those birds that they use to do fly-over's at zoos. She felt like she was going from one place to another simply because someone had taught or told her to. The Novena could fly, her wings weren't clipped…but it wasn't quite the same as being free.

Since meeting Aizen she had been a display bird. When it was no longer needed, it was no longer used.

The girl blinked that thought into the forefront of her mind. They had been told they were no longer needed in Soul Society. One Shinigami had already used them, discarded them and treated them like complete garbage. One who valued them.

Shinigami who knew their worth…

It all felt a bit like a rerun. The purpose had been filled. The need to find out, to fight, to survive and to explore had been satiated for both sides. The Shinigami objective had been achieved with them. But last time…the next objective did not involve them at all.

At all.

Kira stared at the back of Byakuya's head. Of all the people in the group they were with, he would know. The others might or might not. The Novena's instincts told her to act. Told her muscles to tighten in preparation, to sharpen her senses just that bit more, to let her reiatsu go up in challenge. The girl had to hold back the short snarl she felt as the threat built in her mind.

They wouldn't.

But the trust was already broken.

They wouldn't.

They couldn't.

But the trust had already been broken.

What made Aizen different? He was not an Arrancar or a Human. He was a Shinigami. But they all had souls. They were all souls. So, was a human just as likely to do the same thing he had?

Kira glanced at Kurosaki. It didn't seem like it. But it didn't seem like Aizen either; not in foresight.

A normal Shinigami? One unlike Aizen? The other two in the group seemed so normal.

And yet.

The uneasiness had settled on the last day of research. Only now did Kira let herself dwell on it. The girl closed her eyes slowly.

No. It wasn't what humans or Shinigami or Arrancar could do; it was what the individual could do.

Still…something wasn't sitting right. It just…it raised her senses and put her on alert even though nothing had been lifted to cause alarm.

A tall tower grew in the distance. It was near all the important places of Soul Society. It had a view of the large plateau of rock that lifted above the city. Soon the group was up near the tower, the academy and the first division barracks.

The threatened feeling pressed in around the Novena. She glanced at Grimmjow. He just strolled along with his hands in his pockets and his shoulders ever so slightly rolled forward.

And then he glanced over and met her eye. Everything about him was apathetic, bored, normal. But maybe he felt it to.

The blue of his sight shifted off the green of hers. Kira stared straight ahead, down the road, between the buildings, at the path they were taking.

A rope bridge hung up ahead. A bridge, a guard and a tower. Rukia, Kuchiki and Renji seemed to fleetingly recall a bad memory. The little raven haired girl looked over at the Novena and then looked up at the top of the tower.

And Kira knew.

They'd forgotten one thing though. They'd let the Espada continue on as normal. With their normal clothes. With their swords. They'd let slip the idea that the Espada would catch on to the technicalities of their new environment and its laws; its belief for 'the good of the people'.

They wouldn't trust a creature from Hueco Mundo, a resident from Las Noches. They might not mistreat them, but they wouldn't trust them.

What would the Espada have done if it was a reverse situation? Once all was done…once all was done they would have put the Shinigami somewhere safe. Somewhere safe for both parties, but better for just the one.

Kira was silent. She could feel something coming. It was coming. It was building up.

Byakuya Kuchiki stood aside at the bridge and motioned for the Espada to go forward.

With an easy expression, Grimmjow lifted his hand. With an easy voice he commanded "cero" and a bright ball of red smashed into the wood of the structure. There was a wheeze, a groan and then the cracking of gravity as the bridge gave way and fell, leaving a hole.

The Shinigami waiting on the other side ran up to the edge. They were cut off.

Byakuya met Grimmjow's eye smoothly. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Ehh?" The Sexta said boredly. "I could ask you the same thing."

Kira stared at the towers. "The story of Kuchiki and Ichigo did reach Las Noches. Aizen was with you then. We know of this place." She glared flatly at Byakuya. "You miscalculated."

Before anyone could react, the Novena had vanished. She headed straight for the Captain. He drew his sword at her. Kira was swift, she lifted the leg he swung at and dropped the ball of her foot onto the metal of the blade. She pushed off and up and used Sonido to shoot up to the side of a nearby building.

Grimmjow laughed lowly and glanced at Kurosaki. "See ya."

Before any response could be made, he too was gone. The figures of the Espada could be seen shooting upwards through Soul Society. Right up to the plateau.

Kurosaki, Renji and Byakuya took off after them. Rukia went quickly to raise the alarm.

Kira could sense the Shinigami behind her. She could feel Grimmjow pulling up nearby. In a deft movement, she turned and shot a cero at the nearest building. It crumbled, caused a thick cloud of dust to form and distracted the Shinigami for just that one moment.

They flew through the cloud and out into the open. No one was there. Kurosaki was the first two turn around and see the Novena standing behind them in the space the dust was clearing.

"Do not take me for a fool, Shinigami. You just did the same thing Aizen did." Her tone was cold.

"You can't run." Byakuya replied. "All of Soul Society will be after you."

"Ehhh?" An eager voice cut in from the side. "Who said anything about running?"

"Then what would you be doing?" The Captain turned to Grimmjow.

"Delaying the inevitable." Kira shot at him sharply. "We're waiting for you to kill Aizen. We're not waiting for you to kill us, lock us away. We will not bow to Soul Society. We will not go into your box and sit and wait for you to come back in victory or for Aizen to appear in your defeat. This is not about running. This is about fighting. All the time. All the freaking time."

The girl drew and swung her sword quickly, firing a long cero at the trio in-front of her. There was no way they would out run Soul Society. From the side, Grimmjow shot his own Cero.

The defence against the attacks involved Byakuya's shikai. When the smoke cleared, the Espada were out of sight. Their reiatsu gone.

Kira found the foot of the plateau. She didn't know its name, but she knew what had happened there. Instead of following the path, she dug her feet into the rocky edges of the wall and clambered up, throwing herself onto even ground when it appeared and launching upward always.

She could sense Grimmjow's delight nearby. This was a game of cat and mouse where the Shinigami had not quite yet worked out their role.

They reached the top at the same time. Kira glanced at her friend and stopped using her Sonido. She smiled and took of at a dead sprint.

He smiled wickedly and followed her. He was full of vindictive glee. His vendetta would soon be fulfilled. It was so close.

Grimmjow pulled up with Kira after four hundred meters, she was not a distance runner. She was not all for endurance, though she was a lot fitter than she had been a while ago. The Sexta laughed as he took over.

The presence of Shinigami was now close behind. The were shooting after them, firing Kido. Trying to stop them. Sōkyoku Hill was once again a battle ground.

Just before reaching the far edge of the rock, Grimmjow turned and launched a massive cero. The force pushed him into the air that hovered high above the ground below. Kira glanced back and went over just after him.

She pointed her finger and prayed the plan worked.

A sharp tearing noise made the Shinigami stop dead in their tracks for half a second before rushing to the edge of the plateau. A large black hole had opened just below the Espada. The Novena entered it easily, the Sexta already out of sight.

It snapped shut as they vanished.

Kurosaki swore.

How easy it would have been to stop them. Especially if Soul Society had taken the proper precautions. Of course Soul Society would have done so. They would have done the research and gone over and above the call of duty.

Byakuya was silent. He knew what they did not. He knew. He knew, so he simply turned and walked away.

0

_"I ain't teaching you." Came a strong voice. _

_"Should have said that first." Came a female voice. _

_"Should have realised that first, baka." Came the reply. _

_The sound of dancing hooves on paved ground closed the gaps in the speech. The man sat on a steady, strong white stallion. The woman sat on a flighty chestnut with tall white socks and a smart white star in the middle of it's face. _

_"What do I do?" She asked as the sound of her nurse's voice dropped down into the courtyard. _

_"Stay the eff on." The man replied. _

_"How!" She asked as his horse galloped out the gate. The young woman had seen men ride before. She had seen how it was done. So she did what she thought they did. She nudged the horse in the sides. _

_It walked on. Okay. Good. Not good enough though. _

_"My Lady! What are you doing? Where did you get those clothes? Get off that animal now?"_

_The young woman glanced over her shoulder and smiled. She sat deep and kicked the horse hard. It took off under her and she had to use every instinct to grip on and to decide what to do next. _

_What was she doing? What was she wearing? Well, she had decided to take the young stable-hand's spare set of pants, shirt and shoes. She had taken the new horse in the stable and copied what the man had done as he saddled up his animal. _

_He had come around to her and silently pulled the girth tighter than she would have been able to. She watched him return to his horse and mount up. _

_She did the same quietly. Not saying anything to him. In the courtyard, she had finally broken her silence and asked how to ride a horse. He had laughed at her; she said she envied his adventure and she sure as hell wouldn't sit around being jealous. _

_The little woman had gone out and done what her mother would have murdered her for. _

_The girl gasped as her horse pulled up beside the big white one. The ground was flat and open. _

_The man laughed at her concentrated expression. She was leaning to far forward, her leg strength was not up to the ride, but somehow she was holding on. Her seat was nearly steady and her hands were in the right place. _

_"Are you running away now?" He said smugly. _

_"I'm choosing a life that is mine." She replied happily. It felt good to be riding. The wind, the thrill, the adrenaline…the fear. _

_After a few long, terrifying minutes the man slowed his horse and stopped it at the crest of a hill. He sat steady as he watched the woman's horse pass him. She had no idea how to stop it. She knew how to turn it and did so. It was a little to sharp a motion for such a flighty animal on such terrain. _

_The chestnut slipped for a moment before doing as it was asked. The young woman lost her seat and slid off its side and landed on her stomach in the grass. _

_There was a long moment of silence. She smacked her hand against the ground in frustration and looked around for the horse. _

_The man at the top of the hill had it by its reins, he hadn't even dismounted. He was just looking at her with this face that lacked emotion entirely. It didn't mean he lacked emotion, just that he didn't waste it easily. Maybe. _

_"You promised to stay on." His tone was mocking. _

_"Well I promise not to make promises anymore." She sat up on her knees. Her whole body felt stiff from the fall, but nothing was broken. She could keep going. _

_"You should have made that promise before you made ones you couldn't keep."_

_"Well maybe you should have followed suit." She shot back. _

_"Are you saying I can't keep my promises?"  
"Why do you think I made a promise to make you keep them if you couldn't?" _

_Silence. _

_The man dismounted and walked down the hill. They were surrounded by grass on three sides and viewed by a tall cliff on the other. There was a small, clear lake at the base of the rock with a ribbon of stream running to it from nearby. _

_"Is this where you come?" The young woman asked, not looking at him as he sat down nearby. The horses were both grazing a few feet away, indifferent and relaxed. _

_"No." Came the normal reply. _

_"Do you go home then, instead of coming here?" Or did it not matter where you were, so long as you could stay alive?_

_Pause. "Baka." He put a hand on her head and turned her to face him. "Landing on your skull didn't change the loudness of your mind."_

_"I didn't land on my skull."_

_He gave her a short look. "No. You landed here." He dropped his hand from her head and to her shoulder. The shirt was a little too large and when slipped down revealed a red mark in front of her shoulder. "And here." He lifted the corner of the shirt up to reveal the bruising on the woman's hip-bone. There was a long pause. "But maybe you would have been better off landing on your head."_

_She gave him a long suffering look._

_Sure, he had his little moments of 'nice'. But they were heavily diluted by everything else. He was who he was and he didn't go out of his way to please anyone, only himself. Not that he was a selfish person, just that he didn't care for others. If they survived, then sure. He did enjoy being alone, but when with people he wouldn't simply live for himself; he did give a little. Sometimes. Depends on who it was. So…mostly he didn't give at all. Ever. _

_And then this woman had come along. She promised to survive. So he'd promised back. She had said she would make him keep that promise if he couldn't. So, somewhere, he took it as a challenge and did the same thing back. _

_Like all souls, they both felt. And feelings of something other than apathy…well...they lead to different outcomes. Sometimes they lead to lives that are being led parallel to each other onto a wide road that fit them both perfectly and didn't invade them at all. It just let them know someone was there and that when it was dark, when things were annoying, when stuff happened – someone else would know about it. _

_And because of that; the chances of survival increased. A shared load maybe. Not quite. _

0

Kira exited the darkness to more falling. She put her hands forward and landed hard in the sand. The Novena glanced sideways, Grimmjow was already on his feet.

"Neat trick." He mused.

The Novena was exhausted. She knew that Hueco Mundo was accessible from Soul Society. Aizen had left that way. So, one of power could leave that way too. Maybe. But they didn't want Hueco Mundo.

Yet, from there, an Arrancar could access the Real World.

Two portals, one directly after the other had been exited.

Kira tasted salt on her lips and glanced at the sea as she manoeuvred herself to sit on the sand. "I didn't think that would work. I thought Soul Society had some sort of barrier…but maybe not where things are barren."  
"Don't flatter yourself. Your Garganta was pathetic."

She turned and stared at the Sexta.

"You broke through the first layer. You were too weak to go all the way to Hueco Mundo from Soul Society."

The Novena was silent a moment. She turned back to the sea. "Well, thanks for the booster power."

"Booster power? Ha!" Grimmjow closed his eyes and shook his head. "Baka." He'd been the main power of that move.

There was a long period of silence. "Do you like the ocean?" Kira asked quietly. "Its like the sand in Hueco Mundo. It just goes on and on and on. It keeps shifting."  
"Shut up." The Sexta saw the hill behind the beach.

"That's the place I was at." Kira mentioned. "Its not close to Karakura Town, but with Sonido, we could be there in not long at all. The Shinigami wont look for us here."

"What makes you so sure?"

"Why would I come back to the place that I taught myself, and subsequently them, to hate?" She half smiled. "Shinigami don't know that sometimes disliking something, sometimes suffering…it can be used for better purposes than the one it was originally designed for."

* * *

_A new chapter and an early post. I hope this makes you happy. You can thank Moni, for whom this chapter is for, for the push towards earlier posts. I will try hard to put chapters out as often as I can because I do know how annoying it is to wait for a post. _

_Please review; let me know what you thought. Constructive Criticism welcome. I really value all of your input. _

_Blessings,_

_P. _


	17. Chapter 15

_"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."_

- Nelson Mandela

**Chapter 15**

* * *

Sand and dried out branches. Cool winds. Ever changing terrain. The beach and Hueco Mundo had a lot in common.

Kira had climbed over a sand dune to protect herself from the chilly air that the ocean brought in. The constant noise interfered with her. It reminded her. When she had been in the rehabilitation house, she had closed all the windows and doors to make things silent. But the sound of waves and wind and sand scraping on glass still got through to her senses.

A small avalanche of sand slipped down the hill and onto the Novena. She grabbed a handful and tossed it backwards, hoping half of what had been thrown ended up in Grimmjow's shoes. She growled at his invasion of her territory; her little dry safe-haven for the night. Not heaven, but somewhere. Better than other places.

"Go away. I found it first." She hissed at him as she brushed sand out of her hair.

"Eh?" Came the smooth reply. "Does it look like I give a damn?"

By this time the Sexta Espada was standing over the girl. She lay with her back against the slope of the dune that protected her from the sea and faced the one that buffered the wind. Grimmjow let himself down easily nearby. There was space, and if there hadn't been someone would have to give.

The man leant his head back against the sand and closed his eyes. His hands were still in his pockets. His entirety unmoving for a long second before his chest rose for breath.

Kira glanced at him and shifted closer. She peered curiously at his figure, filled her palm with sand and lifted her hand above his head. She let the grains dribble out slowly. Before even one second had passed he had locked her wrist in a vice, his eyes still shut.  
"I will rip your hand off." He said apathetically.

Kira dropped the remainder of her sand on his other side, leaning over to get it there. Silently she half moved back and slid herself a little lower than he was. The girl let herself rest sideways, her shoulder just under his armpit and her head on the curve of his chest. She pulled her jacket tighter around her. The memories were cold. They were just cold. They hadn't flooded back or been a nightmare yet. They were just…cold and dark.

Grimmjow opened his eyes. "Csh." He mentioned sharply, glaring down at the Novena.

She waved a dismissive hand up at him.

The Sexta clenched his jaw for a moment before exhaling and letting his arm move to wrap loosely around where the small of her waist turned into a hip-bone.

She might be a woman, she might be annoying, she might even be the death of him; but she was there. Not for him, he didn't need her to be, but she was just present. She was just living to justify every reason she had to be alive. One was enough, but the more the merrier. The girl collected thoughts and ideas and chased them like quests.

It had been a while since the pair had separated and walked along a different road. There didn't seem to be any other pathways open.

If all the Espada had been around, they would have all been walking on this same route. All at different paces and rates and places. But Kira and Grimmjow were walking across the divide from each other. Coming closer, drifting away but never vanishing. Independent, reckless, selfish…they lived at different altitudes; not invading one another or inhibiting them. They lived on the same land but flew at different levels. Sexta. Novena. They all flew at different levels.

But they were walking right now. There was no sky, no cloud path, no air highway. The road just went on. This one road. This one passage that led to one end.

It had come to this.

0

_"How are you feeling today?" A wrinkled face sat across a young one.  
"Mischievous." The girl replied with a playful glance. She was practicing her calligraphy in the study room, her one hand gently holding her sleeve away from the ink while the other wrote. _

_"I know that look. Your mischief always got you bruised or in trouble."_

_"It hasn't since I got here."_

_"Yes, because fortunately you're in a house where you're sudden moods of indecency are tolerated."_

_"They're not indecent." The young woman pouted. "And they aren't tolerated; they're enjoyed."_

_"Is that so?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Has he told you this?"_

_"No."_

_"Then how do you know?"_

_"I know." She replied, leaning forward to dip her brush in a pot of ink. _

_"You need to tell each other things." The old woman sighed. "You need to tell him that he needs rest, that you enjoy being in this house, that it is a nice day…"_

_"He knows when he needs to rest because he will be tired. He knows I am enjoying the house because he has never seen me doing otherwise. He has eyes so he can see if it is a nice day."_

_"Yes, but to articulate what you are thinking…"  
"I do that quite a lot."  
"I mean what you are thinking about someone else. Affectionate thoughts."_

_"You can articulate things without saying them." The young woman painted her letters onto the page smoothly. _

_"Some things should be said."  
"Like what?"_

_"I love you. I care about you. Stay safe."_

_"We don't talk about such things."_

_"Never?"_

_"I didn't say never. I just said we didn't talk about them. He can be quite verbal, but never about the things you are suggesting. It goes against his character and if he did one day bring me a bunch of flowers 'just because' I think I would have to leave him because it would no longer be him." _

_"Don't you want flowers though?"  
The young woman breathed in slowly as she lifted her pen away from the page. "I am happy." She smiled at her old nurse and dear friend. "I am content. I feel satisfied with my relationships. They lack nothing. They might not be conventional, but I am not regular and I hope never to be. Where would I funnel all my curiosity if not through myself? Without my irregularity, I see the same world a conventional person sees – and I would rather be blind." _

_"You are such a strange creature." The old woman laughed. _

_"I am a very solitary type of person, as is he and we don't make time for each other but somehow time makes space for us. Its not invasive, its just there. Life goes on with all its bumps and turns, but if someone is walking on the other side of the road that you are travelling on, then it might as well be smooth. Even if you never talk to them. It's a stability. A grounding almost."  
"You are grounded?"The old woman scoffed.  
"My feet are." Her mischievous look intensified. _

_"And your head?"_

_The young woman half smiled and didn't reply. _

_"Well, I am glad you're happy." _

_"I am happy." _

0

Kira woke up to a sleeping Grimmjow and an ominous storm cloud. She could smell the rain coming. Feel it in the distance. It raised the little hairs on her arms.

The Novena arched her spine to stretch it before shifting slightly and sitting up. She stared at the sky and the dark patterns it was making. Just as she woke up a drop of water plummeted and landed on her cheek. Kira put her fingers to it. The rain drop was cold. Fall rain. The whole environment had become cool; not unwelcoming.

The girl shifted to get up and put her hand on Grimmjow's shoulder. He growled at her. She shook him and told him they had to move and earned a very sharp glare for her efforts.

Just as his eyes met hers the sky opened and dumped its full contents downward.

Kira stood up quickly and climbed up to the top of the sand dune. A wind picked up and slid wet sand and salt into her pores. It was early morning and the rehabilitation house was silent. The Novena slid down the opposite side of the dune and made her way towards it. She knew that there was a gazebo in the garden somewhere.

The Novena felt gross. She was soggy and soaked all at the same time. She had sand in her hair and everything tasted of salt. It was cold and wet and she wanted to hiss.

The girl reached the grass of the house. Though in a state of displeasure she kept her pace to a walk. By the time she reached the gazebo she was soaked through.

Grimmjow was just behind her. He looked very normal. Dripping wet, but otherwise totally apathetic. Kira stared at him as she twisted some of the water out of her hair.  
"What?" He said unevenly.

"Nothing." Her tone was a little annoyed. She usually liked rain. She just didn't like being out in it, especially in a place where uncomfortable things like sand could attach themselves to the dampness.

The Sexta turned to face the house. It stood over a trimmed garden with a pool, veranda and other pleasant lifestyle furnishings.

"You're scared of this place?" He glanced over at her and laughed mockingly.

Kira was looking at the sea. It was angry. "I'm scared of what happened in this place. There's a difference. Just because the setting of your nightmare is pretty doesn't mean you're enjoying it."

"Nah. You're just too weak to wake up."

"Okay, I was feeling playful earlier but now I'm not going to tolerate your mischief."

"What mischief? I'm telling you the truth. Too hard to swallow?"

"Grimmjow, just…leave it. Okay? I don't want to talk about this place."  
"Then don't talk. It would be nice if you shut up."

Kira crossed her arms as she continued to watch the water. Her mood had turned dark very quickly. The rain, the discomfort, the churning of the ocean as it smashed up against the beach over and over and over again achieving nothing; it was all to familiar. And the smell of that house. That place. It triggered memories that had been locked away in dark corners. It let them out to dance.

The Novena closed her eyes for a long moment. "Grimmjow?"

"I thought you were shutting up?" His tone was rough.

"You know how we're friends, right?"

"Csh."

"And then we're mates too…"

He didn't turn to face her. His voice became slightly irritated. "What's your point?"  
"Does that mean that we love each other?"

"Ehhh?" He turned around this time. "What the heck are y-."

"I know you'd never say that. Ever. Never ever never. Ever. If you did it would be so weird and I'd probably have to kick you in the shins." Kira held her elbows. "I mean, it's not all soppy and romantic and crap. But it's something. It's not conventional in conventional terms, but…it's not nothing. So therefore…it's something."

And she went there. She went to that place that they just didn't seem to ever go to. That verbal place that seemed so vital to some people. It just didn't fit well with them. Little actions let them know enough; true movements, proper motions. The mouth can lie, but an instinct cannot.

Maybe a different language would work. Te Amo. Je t'aime. Ndinokuda. Te Quiero.

No. Not even then. It didn't cut it. It didn't fit.

Though…Sometimes some words need to be spoken; even uncomfortable ones. Why? Because people have minds and mouths and they like to use them in tandem. And words are like actions and they can trigger very similar feelings.

Kira and Grimmjow…well, they hadn't killed each other. They'd both gone to lengths to make sure that the other wasn't dead. They'd gone away from each other, but not left. It was…it…it couldn't be put into words. Hence why it never was. Hence why the Novena's little monologue didn't exactly roll like water off a duck's back.

"Sorry." She said flatly.

He growled mockingly at her. "You're pathetic."

"Yeah." She smiled. "And you're an ass."

There was a silence which turned into an amused pause which turned into a laugh.

0

_A man sat at the tall seat, he was reading a letter with a fairly distant expression on his face. _

_The young woman wandered up and ran her fingers up from the base of his neck, through the sides of his hair and to the back of his head. She kissed him right near his temple. "We have a dinner party tomorrow and you need to be there." Her voice was a whisper in his ear. "My parents are coming so be on your very worst behaviour." _

_The corner of his mouth lifted. _

_The girl rounded the sofa and sat down beside him. Not touching but still close. She lifted the paper easily from his hands. He had already discarded it. It was a note, a simple note regarding his work. It was about a garrison moving a few miles west and that was all. _

_"Is this important?" She asked. _

_"No. It's a seasonal change for a group of old men who refuse to leave service." _

_"One day you'll be one of those old men." _

_"Csh." _

_The young woman smiled, folded the letter and set it aside. "And I'll be an old hag writing stories about the adventures I had in my head."_

_"Now I really hope someone assassinates you before someone else has to suffer what goes on in your mind."  
"It could be a military secret." She put her finger in front of her mouth. "Shhh."_

_The man rolled his neck and leant back against the seat. _

_"I hope I get to have real adventures before I'm old. I don't want to live in a cage like some exotic animal."  
"Do you want me to throw you out? Because I will." He eyed her.  
"If you were going to throw me out, you would have. And if I was going to run away, I would have done that too. So ha." She said near his face. "This place is like being on an island. So vast, so much to do, so much to see…but I will end up craving more. I'll come with you to somewhere exotic like India and get lost and somehow end up back here. I'll always end up back here. Its like a magnet." The young woman sighed, leant back and stared at the man. "Maybe in another life, hmm?"  
"Hmm." He rumbled distantly. _

_"Or maybe you're the magnet?"_

_"Ha." He smiled in amusement. "Wouldn't it be mutual then?"_

_"Yes. Yes it would be." _

_0_

"Shhh." Kira said as they rounded the side of the rehabilitation house.

"What, like they can see us?" Grimmjow mentioned in an offhand manner.

The Novena scowled and continued. It was still raining. The gazebo wasn't much of a cover and their clothes were soaked and uncomfortable. The sand and salt had washed away in the move from one shelter to the house, but it was now cold.

Kira found the door to the laundry locked. She looked around for the key before realising that the house keeper was better at hide-a-key's than your average maid. There was a small cat flap built into the window of the laundry. The Novena put her hand through and felt the wall beside it. Her fingers found the key inside, not outside as most people would think.

"Ah ha." She said in victory.

Grimmjow was just standing there.

"Victory." Kira held the key up for a moment before sliding it into the door and unlocking it. The thought of dry clothes appealed to her greatly.

The laundry was fairly spacious…as far as laundries go anyway. It had two washers and a dryer. The Novena went to a closet against the far wall and opened it. Inside sat neat rows of rolled up towels. She threw one to Grimmjow and took one out for herself.

The girl petted her face and hair before taking her jacket off and putting it in the dryer. She glanced at Grimmjow. "Turn around."

"What?" He had a hand flattened against a towel flattened against his head.

"I need my clothes dry. They go in there. All of them. If you want yours done, do the same."  
"And I turn around because…"  
"Because…it's just…turn around."

"Give me a reason."  
"Will it make you turn around?"  
"Nope."

"I need to undress." She said honestly as she crossed her arms.

"So?"

"So, I don't want to do it in front of you."

He seemed confused. "Ehh?"

"It's different." She said to his expression.

"You usually sound like an idiot but now you're just being one."

"For not wanting to change into my commando suit with you watching?"

Grimmjow just stared at her. She knew what he was thinking.

"It's different. Turn around."

"Csh." The Sexta turned and peeled his jacket off at the same time. By the time he had turned back, the Novena was wrapped in a towel, one hand on the wall as she took a soggy sock off and tossed it into the dryer.

Grimmjow had also, by facing the back of the laundry door, found something much more useful in a towel.

Kira stared at the bathrobe in a long suffering manner. Though it did not suit him at all, it was much better than a towel. The girl shook her head and started the dryer. It would take about twenty minutes. They could sit on the washing machines and wait.

The Novena looked at Grimmjow to suggest this and then laughed. She stopped herself only to do it again. "Sorry. But you in a fluffy white robe?"

He stared flatly at her. "And you in a little white towel?"

Kira's laugh vanished and turned into a suffered expression. Twenty minutes of machine noise later the clothes were dry. Five minutes of bickering after that, they were both dressed. Rain lashed against the windows outside.

Returning to the beach was one big fat to-don't. Staying in the house…well, the Novena was fidgety. She kept running the tip of her forefinger over her thumb as she made the decision to go further into the house. They couldn't sit in the laundry for the duration of the storm and unless someone had a high reiatsu, which was very unlikely, they would go unseen and unheard.

"I'm going to snap your fingers off, savvy?" Grimmjow said in a blasé tone as Kira pushed the door to the house open and peered out.

The Novena glanced back at him and shot him a look of 'yeah, sure'.

The laundry led onto a hallway. Off this hallway sat kitchen, the dining room, the living room, the study and a few rooms that had been turned into counselling areas. Already the smell of breakfast wafted through.

Kira walked down the hall glancing into each room that she passed. She might as well have been totally alone. Grimmjow just cruised along in no direction at all, he just walked and if she hadn't been walking slightly faster than he was he would have passed her.

The Novena turned into the dining room and went and stood over by the window with a view of the garden. It was raining hard. It was unusual weather for the time of day and year that it was present.

Some residents of the house were setting the table, chattering as they did so.

"Good morning." A warm voice said to those in the room.

Kira turned and looked as a familiar woman walked through the dining room and to the kitchen. She reappeared a minute later with a cup of tea. Laura. The Novena watched the woman as she talked to each person in the room happily. It had been a while since she had left and the mark she had made on the place had slowly faded out. Kira was glad. They would do better to forget she had been there. She would do better to forget that she had been there.

The Novena made her way to the living room as the dining room filled for breakfast. Grimmjow was sitting on the sofa and didn't even acknowledge her coming in. Kira sat cross-legged on the floor beside his feet and leant her head back against the seat.

"How long before the Shinigami track us here?" She asked rhetorically.

"Not long." Came the easy reply. Grimmjow's mood lifted at the thought. "If they know what's good for them, not long at all."

"I'm avoiding them until Aizen comes back. Karakura Town looks like the place to be this winter."

"You're just going to end up dead or back here."

"You'll be in Karakura Town too. You want to hit Kurosaki the moment he takes down Aizen to remind him that you're still wanting to kill him. You'll give him a day or so to recover and then you'll get to do what you've been wanting to for all this time."

There was a content silence.

"Just don't let him win this time." Kira said smoothly. As the words came out she realised that she didn't want Kurosaki to loose. She didn't want Grimmjow to loose either. But if she had to choose a winner, it would be her friend and not the person she felt she should have befriended.

"You think he has a chance of winning?"  
"You think you'll beat a punk that can beat Aizen?"  
The silence was no longer content. Grimmjow needed a session. He needed to fight something. He needed to destroy something. His character was being starved of its main supplement.

Kira turned her head toward the man. Her forehead rested against the side of his knee. His pants were still warm from the dryer. They smelt faintly of lint and jasmine washing powder, like he had walked through a bush in clean clothes. It would fade off quickly.

"I'm tired." The Novena said with her eyes closed.

No reply except the sound of rain.

0

Back in Soul Society a meeting of Captains was being held. Kurosaki was there too. They knew Aizen was coming back in Winter. They knew he would aim for Karakura Town. They knew he wanted to make the King's Key.

They knew the Espada had left Soul Society.

"The garganta they opened led to Hueco Mundo." Mayrui mentioned.

"They said they wouldn't go back there." Ichigo was in a dark mood. His arms were crossed.

"They didn't go back there. Not for more than a few moments." The scientist remarked. "I believe that once in the atmosphere of Hueco Mundo that they opened another garganta and went to the Real World."

Yamamoto made a long noise of contemplation. "This is something we did expect."

"They won't be hunting souls." The twelfth division captain continued on his way. "They're waiting."

"For what?" Kurosaki looked across at the scientist.

"They're waiting for you, Kurosaki Ichigo. They're waiting for Aizen."

Hitsaguya glanced up. "Those who fight against Aizen may not be allies of ours, but they won't be enemies for the duration of the battle."

"Unless they are found before then" Soi Fon was in a concentrated mood "they will join the fight. They cannot do that. They will not fight their own."

"Then who are we fighting, Soi Fon?" Yamamoto asked generally. "Aizen is not a god yet. Gin and Tousen are also Shinigami."  
The woman glared hard at thin air at this point. They all knew it. "They must still be found. They are unstable."

Byakuya's authoritative voice joined the conversation. "They will be found but it is no longer alright to interfere with them."

"And if they start attacking souls?"  
"Then it will be alright to stop them." Came the strong reply. "They will be allowed to fight Aizen but they will never do so alongside Soul Society. They do not possess that ability and they wont be allowed to."

"Then we will find them and watch them." Kurosaki said in a determined voice.

"Find, find, find." Mayuri was very sing-song. "All this talk of finding…why look for something when you already know where it is? They are in the Real World. They will be in Karakura Town for Winter. Right now, they are not close by but they are in a place where they will wait and prepare."

"What place?" Ichigo nearly yelled.

"If I tell you, you will go there." The captain met the young man's eye. "But rest assured; they are not unknowns."

0

As evening fell Kira wandered to her old room. It smelt the same, musty and salty. She felt like she was poised on the edge of a battle. Every sense was prepared to fight off whatever was coming. She was uncomfortable. She was afraid of the place.

The Novena looked around the room. The bed was made. The cupboards were empty. The bathroom was dry. But there was something else. There was a small picture on the bedside table, there were a few small candles and a small vase with a single white rose in it.

Kira peered at the image. She could not see it for the way the light fell on the glass of the frame, but she knew. The girl walked up to it quietly and watched as a picture of her face emerged. It had been taken on the day she had arrived. The person in the image looked tired, but there was something else. They looked determined.

Kira thought she had lost all hope during that time, but looking at the picture she realised that by simply thinking about things returning to how they were meant to be…that was hope. She had been fighting that nightmare and it had been terrifying. But she had been fighting and that was the main thing.

The Novena remembered feeling so alone, in so much pain. But pain and solidarity…they were not new. It was the uncontrolled nature of the situation, but she still had control of her mind. She still had control of what she knew was right for her. And that meant she was stronger than she had ever thought she had been.

Kira glanced up sharply as the door to the room opened. It was past dinner time and all the residents would be watching tv or reading books or relaxing or something.

The Novena stepped back as Laura closed the door and looked around the room slowly. The woman moved to the picture and lit the candles before kneeling down in-front of it.

"Today it was raining." Laura's voice was just as the Novena remembered it. "It was unusual weather but it was nice. Life was never supposed to be just sunshine and spring breezes, but you knew that better than me. I remember the day the police came back. They took me to where you had gone and then they took me to the hospital. It seemed like just moments before you had been standing there on the beach like a statue and then you were in a morgue. They told me that they thought you had been attacked, but I didn't believe it. You looked like you were sleeping. I know I've said this before to this empty room, but it really hit me that you were gone. It was like a light had gone out, a light that no one knew was there but that was very special. It was life. I just wish I had known you better. I wish I had been there with you so you weren't alone. If you couldn't stop death, then I know I wouldn't be able to either. But I would have tried, Kira. I would have for you."

Kira stood silently. She felt…her throat had tightened up a bit. She felt that if the house stared to fall down, the first thing she would do was get that little human woman out.

The room was blue with night and gold with candle-light. And it was quiet. Laura looked quietly happy. She was glad to have met the Novena. Kira felt something about it. She didn't know what. But in that moment she knew that nightmares were only as bad as you let them be. As bad as you remember them.

This was not a place to forget. Painful memories that have a purpose, those should be just as remembered as the ones that make you smile and laugh and enjoy life because those memories make all the others just that much better.

The Novena stepped over to where the woman was kneeling. She blew the candles out. The candles were for those who had passed, she was still alive.

Laura blinked and looked up. No window was open. The woman lit a match again and put it to the wick. It went out before it reached lighting the candle.

Kira sat on the bed beside the human. She reached her hand out to touch the woman, to brush the back of her fingers against her cheek. They would be as warm as each other. At the last moment the Novena paused. She extended her middle finger and touched it to Laura's cheek and collected the little drop of water that was there.

The woman had cried for her.

* * *

Well, I hope you enjoyed the new chapter. Let me know what you thought, constructive criticism welcome.

Hopefully I'll be able to post a little more often now. :)

Blessings

P.


	18. Chapter 16

_"Today, I search for the person that's right for me again; A person that will like me for who I am. A person that will like me even if I cant make his dreams come true…. Does a person like that exist? It would be nice if that person exists. Will that person really like me and only me? It would be nice if it were true_… _It would be nice if that person could find the things that I can do and cannot do because I am who I am. I would like that person to find out, and also I would like that person to like me for who I am."_

- _Chobits_

**Chapter 16**

* * *

Kira Sato climbed over a sea-bashed rock and dropped onto the sand around it. The girl had been walking, wandering down the beach where nothing was silent but everything was sacred.

She had found a shelter that wasn't made of sand or memories. It sat with a roof and had a view of the sea. It was a place where rough edges were supposed to be smoothed. But some rough edges shouldn't be removed at all. No, they weren't there to be smoothed.

The Novena had spent the first night in a dune, the second night in a house she would rather forget; the third would be spent in the small holiday cottage she had broken into just down the beach. Kira knew it was a gift to a rich man's daughter on her 21st Birthday. She also knew it was never used in the cooler months; that was when said rich-girl was skiing or hovering on the edges of some warmer country. And even if someone came; they wouldn't see those who broke in. They'd just be spooked by the presence of a ghost. Human superstition; it could be a blessing.

And then there were the gods…and those who thought they could achieve that status and not be born into it. Kira knew you were born to your power, but gods were born gods. Anything else was fake. It left destruction that would leave scars no matter how hard you tried to heal them. Even Orihime Inoue wouldn't be able to fix it.

The Novena ran her hand over her stomach. Her shirt rubbed the back of her hand while her palm found her skin smooth. She had to close her eyes and inhale slowly to come to a place where what had happened had been okay.

It hadn't been okay. She hadn't been okay. She was good enough to be the Novena Espada, but…she wasn't good enough to do much else. The girl had to evolve; maybe she already had. Her physical state was stronger and faster after her time with the Shinigami. She was different slightly in her fighting technique; it was better. Her head had leapt over some major hurdles, albeit only to discover more. But her strength, her endurance…it was where she fell every time. Every time.

A cheetah can't take on a lion.

Kira exhaled and ran her fingers through her hair.

The Novena walked up a small sandy and grassy path to the house. You could see the roof of the rehabilitation centre from its garden. The place was a shadow of a doubt. It just hovered.

The girl stepped up onto the traditional Japanese veranda and slid inside. It was a traditional house with modern frills. Sliding doors, special slippers for indoor use, white leather sofa and a multicoloured hammock.

Grimmjow had scavenged the Kira's find and taken the house as his own. He walked around it as if it were his and looked at anyone who entered as if they hadn't knocked.

"Don't give me that." Kira half smiled. "I found this place so consider yourself lucky I let you stay."

"You let me stay? Ha!" He was fiddling with some dice, rolling them around a bottle of sake. "Consider yourself lucky you're not six feet under."

"Oh, go drown in the ocean." She took his little white cup of potent liquid and finished it before taking the bottle away to the veranda and sliding the door shut with her foot.

The Sexta suffered the act for half a moment before lifting himself up and prowling across the room to the outdoors. He stood in the doorway and waited.

Kira was sitting on the top step that led to the garden, looking at the view. The sun was about to go down. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" She glanced back at him. "I'll miss this the most about the real world. Daylight is good and well, but it's the shift between day and night that I like best. It's just not translucent enough to let you see its secrets."

"Is there like…a book for the spew that you talk or do you just make it up?"  
Kira saluted him with the cup she had stolen. "Just sit your ass down."

"Piss off."

"You piss off." She said back smoothly.

Grimmjow raised an eyebrow at her and went back inside.

It was ten or so minutes later when the girl came back inside. "I need to ask you something." She sounded a little nervous. Maybe embarrassed.

"I said piss off." The Sexta was sitting on a cushion against a mahogany wall, his one leg stretched out in front of him, the other bent up as an elbow prop.

Kira ran her thumb nails together. She had been seriously thinking about Aizen…she had been doing that for a long, long time. But now…she was thinking about what the silences had uncovered in the rehabilitation house. That shrine. That…belief that she hadn't been so lost.

There was a clunk of porcelain against the floor. The Novena had brought the sake back. She was being genuine and open and she knew she was going to get hit in the guts and bruised by it. But…sometimes…you have to let your weak spots show even if it's to make them stronger.

"There's a shrine for me in that house." Kira stood nearby. "Candles and everything. I don't believe I was as far gone as I felt. I think in that situation you feel so much pain that nothing makes sense. I couldn't make sense of anything, I couldn't even grasp a single idea. I was not in control, but…last night…I wasn't out of control either."

Grimmjow groaned and glared at her.

But Kira didn't stop. She felt like she was evolving again, coming out of the sand, finding new power through the understanding of her weakest, most tormented moment. "It wasn't that I had stopped fighting; it was that…I couldn't. All I could do was breathe and blink and blame myself. There's nothing more terrifying than that, nothing scarier than having what you think is all the information and the guilty verdict, pointing the finger at your own face, when you yourself are innocent. It's not fair and it's not right. Some things disappear. People, they fade away. I didn't go away, but I thought I had…and in a sense that's both worse and better. Worse because I was wrong, better because I could be found." She bounced slightly on the ball of her foot. "And then there's Aizen. I cant stop fighting, but I can be put into a state where I cant do anything. And that…that's worse than anything else. Facing someone who put you in a nightmare, who discarded you like rubbish…being able to be in control and not loose sight like I did before…I just…I want to be able to value a sunset and not be lost in my weakness again." She wrapped her fingers around her elbow, her arm across her body.

"You know, you rant and rave and spill crap all over the place but it never has a point." Grimmjow said roughly.

"No. No, I'm getting there. I said I had to ask you something."  
"Then ask, damn it. You're seriously being a little shit right now."

Kira flexed her fingers and hesitated. "Grimmjow?"  
"What?"  
"Saying all that…and thinking about it…I need to adapt a little. Natural Selection, survival of the fittest. I would have died if it weren't for you. If I had maybe been a bit more physically able to endure such a long battle. You could do it. You'd be pissed off royally and eager to bash a whole building down, but you wouldn't have ended up in a gutter like me. So…Could you…maybe help me…get stronger? Like…not buff or anything, just able to take on someone very much bigger than me?"  
"Eh?" Grimmjow looked at her.

"I'm asking you to help me train. It's been a singular, survival thing all along and you and I did sparring to pass the time and build our own natural traits. But…I'm not naturally strong and it's where I get taken down. And…you know that promise to stay alive…you could uh, help me keep it by helping me not get bashed into the ground when I get tired like I always do if the opponent wont go down like Bambi's mom."

The Sexta laughed greedily. "Oh, this is rich. If I get what you're saying…what was it again?"

"Your survival skills are better for what we are about to face. Aizen will be a bigger nightmare than any I have faced before. Seeing him and knowing that every other horrible moment after meeting him was because of…Gosh I hate that man. I won't let him discard me. Don't you see what I'm asking? I survived barely before in a life for life situation. In a life or death situation of the same intensity, something like just seeing Aizen again, I can't do it. I won't be able to do it. I need…I need your help"

"Say it again." Grimmjow mocked.  
"What?"  
"Say it again." He was ginning.

She sighed crossed her arms and stared away for a moment. "You are better in a situation like the one we're about to face. Can you help me?"

The man inhaled happily, running a hand up his arm in contentment before exhaling with a flat "No."

Kira kicked the sake cup at him. Her build up had been popped like a refusal to a date. "I don't mean you're better than me in anything other than combat. You're six, I'm nine. Don't get cocky."

"You're such an idiot." He was still smiling.

"Okay, fine. Whatever. I'll just run with my natural abilities. It's worked so far, even if barely. Admitting defeat is a strength, you know?" She was defensive now. And actually a little amused; she got so full of air and stubborn awkwardness that it had to escape somehow. No was no…for now. "I don't need guns. Why did I think I needed guns? Now that's pathetic. Strength to win a fight?"

Grimmjow was now vaguely entertained. "What do you use to win a fight?"

"Besides speed and brutal accuracy?" Kira sat down right in front of Grimmjow, legs crossed, hands on knees. "Strategy."

"Oh, and you're a great strategist?" Came the sarcastic tone.  
"I might as well have gone to the Yagami Light School of strategy."

Grimmjow frowned. "Who the eff is Yagami Light?"  
"You'd like him. You'd get on." Kira nodded and smiled.

The Sexta growled lowly and planted his hand on her head. "Get out of my face." He shoved her back.

The Novena lay on her back on the hardwood floor and stared at the beams of the ceiling. They were touched orange by the sunset coming through a window. It had been like that every day she had been in that house, and she'd never realised. She couldn't see. She didn't want to be blind again.

0

Kurosaki Ichigo lay awake in his bed in Karakura Town. His home, this place…

The young man closed his eyes.

"Ichigo, stop being depressed." A deep voice broke the silence.  
"I'm not depressed."

"You sure look depressed."

"Oh, shush, Renji." A female voice. "His home town, family and friends are being threatened by Aizen, a pair of Espada who had been dead set on killing him are out there somewhere and all we can do is wait."

"Thanks, Matsumoto." Ichigo said flatly. "Why are you all still here? I can handle this."

"Of course you can." Rukia was sitting in the closet. "But we're going to help you. We're here to make sure Karakura Town is in a state where it can be moved or protected with as much ease as possible. Mayuri-sama has Shinigami all over the place setting up barriers. So just relax."

"I can't believe you just let them go." Ichigo said deadly. "They should still be in Soul Society."

"And be what?" Rukia questioned. "A secret weapon? That wouldn't go down. We're lucky they didn't cause more trouble than they did."

"I liked them." Matsumoto mentioned lightly. "I think they make a great pair."

"They're a pair?" Renji sat up straighter and laughed. His tone became mockingly romantic as he micked Grimmjow "'For it is with every word you speak that I fall deeply in love with you'." His face went dead serious. "Yeah…No."

"Oh don't be such a man, Renji. And anyway, he hates it when she speaks."

"Huh." The red-head crossed his arms and leant back down. "I'm with Ichigo on the 'letting them go' thing. Dumb idea. Its just created two more people to fight."

"To fight for who?" Rukia's voice was quiet but firm.

Ichigo was silent. He stared at the ceiling.

Good question.

0

Kira walked out of the bathroom and into the lounge. She petted her face with a small white towel as her hair sat in a loose twist over her shoulder. The girl put the towel down and went over to the fridge and looked inside. It was empty. The pantry had a few cans of…canned things. None of which looked pleasing.

Earlier that day Kira had ordered take-out and taken it from the hands of the delivery guy as he stood on the porch. He had been in his car and down the road before she had even entered the house with the food.

The Novena glanced at the TV. Grimmjow was watching a movie with lots of explosions.

"I don't know who the heck James Bond is, but he's got nothing." The Sexta mused evenly. "His hair doesn't even move and all the chicks are seriously dumb."

"Wow. Sounds like your life." Kira replied.

"Yeah. You're pretty dumb."

"I'm not a 'chick'.' The Novena wandered over to the sofa and sat on the side. "I'm the Novena and I'm not dumb."  
"Could have fooled me." Came the grunted reply.

"And your hair hardly moves. I mean…its bed hair all the time."

Grimmjow glanced at her and dismissed her in the same moment. Kira looked around the house. It had smooth panels, crisp settings and elegant features. It was small but not uncomfortable. Yet…with the lights on, the tv going and deliveries being made; soon people would assume someone was there. It might take a while in a sleepy little edge of nowhere, but it would happen.

"I call the side of the bed that has the window." Kira stretched as she stood and wandered off to the bedroom. Obviously rich man had not wanted his daughter to have many people in her private abode. One bedroom, one bathroom and a view of the sea; it was more a place to retire quietly than anything else.

The Novena closed the bedroom door and took off her jacket. She hung it on a chair by the window and climbed under the covers of the bed. It was raised up and for a moment the girl wondered if she would roll off onto the floor during the night. It wouldn't leave a bruise on something like her, but it would still hurt a bit.

It didn't matter though because ten minutes later she was asleep. It was not known how long it took for the other side of the bed to be filled, but when the young woman rolled over and basically faceplanted into the side of Grimmjow's face. She shoved him away and earned a shove back. Kira sat up and rubbed her eye.

"For solitary creatures, we kinda suck right now."

"Then leave." His tone was dull.

"No. You can leave." She was sleepy. Her nose hurt from planting against a jaw-bone.

"Piss off."

Kira blinked hard. "After spending so long with you now, I don't think it would be easy to fall asleep in another place all on my own. It's become a habit."  
"Ditch it."

The Novena nearly smiled. She slid her hair over her shoulder and leant down. She kissed Grimmjow quietly before backing up half a breath and meeting his eye. "Nah." She said stubbornly.

The Sexta growled lowly.

"I'm going to keep walking the way I'm walking. You change directions if you want." She said softly. "But chances are that we'd end up faceplanting again. You have a really hard face."

"Shhh." He said roughly.

Kira shook her head and kissed him again. "You go away if you want silence."

"You're such a brat." Came the sharp reply.

The Novena hardly had time to blink before Grimmjow had flattened her onto her back.

"You just don't shut up. I'm going to stitch your tongue to the roof of your mouth if you annoy me any more."

Kira smiled. She stretched her neck up, pressed her forehead to his and closed her eyes. "Maybe you would." She put a hand between his shoulders. "Maybe you wouldn't."

The Sexta pressed his mouth to hers and bit her lip in warning.

The girl glared at him, only moderately amused. "Ow. Don't call my bluffs. You know not to call my bluffs. I will die."

"If only."  
"Shut up." She kissed him non-lethally.

Grimmjow laughed lowly. It was like an earthquake; dangerous, sinister and rolling.

Sure they had been together without break for a little while now. But they had been together for longer before that. Just wandering, getting sand everywhere. And yes, he disliked many of her qualities and she knew it. She disliked many of his qualities too, and he knew it. Yet they kept going on and on and on, just rolling with it. Getting angry like the ocean, getting quiet but never stilling, smashing into rocks, going deeper than every before, taking life and throwing others up on the beaches. They had seen death and sunsets and so many nights…it just went on. It just kept going.

Time passed. It went by. It just continued and continued to take them with it. But they had found a way to manipulate time to their advantage. They took it head on and ignored it deftly. They went their own way. Always their own way.

The agenda of an individual does not way for another. It would defy their existence. But if two individuals, though with different agendas, found the same road, the same runway, the same mountain climb…they couldn't ignore each other like they ignored time. The other could affect them. Destroy them. Or better them without putting any of themselves into the other person's clothes, any of their scent into their lives.

They stained the memory like every other significant existence, but in a different colour.

It was rare. Genuine moments often are. They might have seriously jagged edges, but it didn't mean that they were bad. The world can't run on smoothness alone. It needs friction. It needs people with agendas.

Aizen had an agenda that would end the world. Kira had one to watch that man end. Grimmjow had something similar but in a totally different colour because it was seen with a totally different set of eyes in a totally different head. Even the Shinigami wanted Aizen gone.

And then there was the next depth. The shot after that one. Learning and evolving and going on and on and on and on as before.

Though this time, hoping slightly that agenda's didn't become so different that they split the road in two just yet.

0

Kira woke to a slow morning. The seasons were changing. The trees were turning orange. The days were getting shorter. The light slipped through the slats of the blinds and onto the floor.

The Novena felt a steady weight up against her side. Grimmjow's shoulder was on top of hers, his arm casually draped across her torso. His face was pointed toward where she slept. Kira felt the joint in her shoulder moaning from the pressure it was under. She rolled onto her side. Grimmjow ended up neatly balanced on his opposite hip and shoulder, his body still wanting to sleep on its stomach.

Kira shifted slightly, moving herself into a comfortable position. She stretched her legs down and her spine up before settling into stillness.

If they had been human, they would probably have rings on their left fingers. Kira knew that their relationship was friendship, and then it was something more. They didn't talk about such things, but they knew. Obviously neither was the type to go down with the rings and the vows and whatever; that worked for some people. That was someone else's dream. Someone else's fairytale.

Fairytales don't exist for Espada. Just thought. Just thought, emotion and function. They had dreams, but no knights in shining whatever, no damsels to save, no long monologues about freedom. Gosh that would be awful. They'd be practically medieval.

No. The way things were was how they always would have been. The only way things could be different is if one of them had died before reaching the sands.

Kira yawned and closed her eyes. They had always been awake at night, but now they moved in daylight. There was no time of day for what they were. Nothing but night, sunrise, day and sunset. And then it all rewound and did it again.

Grimmjow half growled as he woke up to discomfort. His shoulder was being pushed in the wrong direction by the position he was laying in. The man rolled onto his back and rolled the joint until it cracked and settled into dull normality. Better.

The Novena was asleep on her side of the bed. Good. She knew her territory and stuck to it. Grimmjow turned his head and looked at her. Her face was so close he could nearly see the veins in the corners of her eyelids. His expression was very normal, very unmoved. He was unmoved. She was quiet and asleep. It was still. It was like no one was there when she wasn't moving. It was like the first period of time on the sand of Hueco Mundo, but it was no less independent. Even when she woke up it would be no less independent that time completely alone.

Grimmjow could feel her for a few moments every couple of seconds. As she breathed her stomach would very nearly brush against the side of his torso. She breathed deeply. She took in a lot of air for someone who wasn't very good at endurance. At all.

The Sexta stared back at the ceiling. Five minutes later he had a sitting girl beside him. She sat up and looked around, ran her fingers through her hair and stretched her arms above her head before letting herself back down again. Her ribcage aligned with his and she breathed against the side of his neck.

Grimmjow moved his arm and scooped it under her shoulders. He let his hand fall against the top of her stomach. In a way it was like marking his territory. In a way it was like saying 'if you even think about her, I'll rip your face off'. Kira didn't much like the slight domination that came with it. He was man. She was woman. She tended to tell him she could look after herself just fine and he would laugh and tell her she would die in a moment if she tried to protect herself against something like him.

It was true. But it didn't mean he was protecting her. At all. Ever. She could do that herself. But in a way, though she was entirely her own and belonged to no one; she let part of who she was rest near to him.

"Teach me to take on a big brute like you today." Kira said.

"No."

"Why?"  
"Because I don't want to waste my time."

"Maybe I phrased that wrong. Hold on while I start again. Use me as a punching bag today?"

Grimmjow laughed once. "You're so full of shit."  
"That means 'yes' right?"

"No."

Even so, by midday Kira and Grimmjow were fighting on the beach. The Novena launched herself forward at him and drove her shoulder into his torso, forcing backwards. Nothing happened even though she kept pressing forward.

Grimmjow grabbed her by the back of the collar, lifted her upright and planted his knee in her stomach before driving the butt of his hand into her sternum.

"You can't take on something like me." He said to her winded body. "You can't be like me. You're not strong enough."

"I know." Kira wheezed. She'd scratched his lower back and forehead during their sparring.

"Then why bother? You're pathetic."  
"Because I have to."  
"Have to get beat up? Have to prove you're a little weakling when it comes to real battle strength?"

"Prove I can survive." She struggled to her feet. "Again."

"You asked for it." He swung his fist hard at her face, smiling all the way.

It wouldn't make a difference. Kira was not built to fight to hold her ground. She was built to get in and out quickly and lethally. Against long haul battles…she would loose. But she couldn't. She couldn't loose. Even if it didn't make a difference, even if it didn't change a thing – she couldn't loose.

Up in the Rehabilitation House Laura stood at the window of the dining room. She knew that Kira wouldn't loose. She'd never lost anything in her life; even if she thought she had. She hadn't gained much either, she'd just opened her eyes a bit further. It was an evolution of sorts.

And it was leading up to the colder weather.

Winter was coming.

It was coming cold like fingers of death.

It was coming.

And it brought with it a very dark cloud that came out of an eternal night.

_

* * *

_

So, another chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. The move to Karakura Town will happen in the next instalment, so hang tight. Aizen will reappear very soon.

_Please let me know what you thought. Constructive Criticism welcome. _

_Blessings,_

_P. _

_I know it's not the 11th, but I didn't want to let the month go by without giving its scars a moment. _

_So, in honour of those who passed on during 9/11, may you Rest in Peace. And for those of you left behind, may you Be at Peace. _


	19. Chapter 17

_"A great many people think they are thinking when they are really rearranging their prejudices."_

- _William James_

**Chapter 17**

**

* * *

**

A pair of pale fingers traced lines on the table in the room that looked onto the sea. A set of long legs carried a figure through the room. It was a dark night, no moon and just the stars for light.

Kira glanced at the view. She could hear the sea crashing on the shore. So continual with no set pattern. Or rather, with a pattern set on the mood. Pathetic fallacy.

The Novena closed her eyes and inhaled steadily. She was calm. She was at ease. Her instincts were on alert, but her throat was open and she could breathe. She wasn't suffocating; it was a pleasure she had sought so ardently in days gone by. Even in Las Noches. The power…no, that wasn't binding. It was the blindness and the realisation that one couldn't breathe until one was near death.

Green eyes opened to a night world. They glanced around; their movements always quick, always sharp. Kira ran her fingers through her hair and lifted them above her head. She stretched easily before moving through the house.

A resident was awake on the upstairs balcony. They were talking with a friend, whispering thoughts as not to wake anyone up with the truth.

Kira ignored their voices and came to an open door. It was always open that door. A seven year old boy slept in the room. He had been abandoned and one of the workers at the house was a foster carer. The boy liked to be by the sea; he hated very much to be alone.

The Novena peered at him. He disliked his dreams as much as she once had. Kira felt her chest tighten for a brief moment, her mouth tasted acid for a second. The memory of her dreams, the memory of the other human soul she had once had contact with as an Espada.

One. Just one. That was all it took to bring remorse. To someone who valued the integrity of a soul…for them to do what she did that one night in Karakura Town…Kira walked over to the boy's bed and stood over him.

He was sensitive to her presence and maybe to a bit more. He stirred, blinked and set his eyes upon the creature in front of him.

Kira put her fingers in front of her mouth silently as the child sat up.

"Are you an angel?" He whispered in his unbroken voice.

"No." Came the quiet reply. "And you have nothing to fear. You should sleep. Dreams are just dreams and the only ones that really happen are the ones you make happen."

"Are you a demon then?"

"No." Kira said smoothly. "No, I am a soul just like you. I have been weak like you, but there's a way out."

"Where is it?"  
"You should start looking." The girl turned away. She put a hand on the doorhandle as she glanced back. "It's only scary to think about. Doing is quite different."

There was a dull click as the door shut behind the Novena. Silence. She let the handle go and glanced at her hand. There. There. It was okay. It was overcome. It was terrifying and desperate and so cold one was in pain…but it was overcome. It was but a child's fear. So real, so truthful and so individually suffered.

It was done. Kira swallowed. There was just one more door to close.

The girl found her old room, the little shrine with her picture and the bed that didn't allow any rest. With quick and quiet precision, Kira collected all the candles, the rose and the picture and put them in the rubbish. That person was dead. That person had never been alive. That person did not exist.

The Novena then sat on the bed and pulled the side-table drawer out. A small pad and pen were inside. The girl picked both up and held them hardly before writing.

_Laura, _

_There is more to life than being alive. _

_Kira. _

The Novena folded the paper in half and put it in the place of the shrine. She put the pen and paper back in the drawer and sat dead still for a long moment with her eyes closed. There. That was it.

No.

Kira opened her eyes. She walked over to the rubbish and lifted her picture out. She glanced at the bed-side table. She carried the image over and set it down. One by one she set the candles out again and then the rose.

Her fingers found the note and lifted it from the table. It drifted into the now empty bin and sat there.

There. Now it was done.

Goodbye. A thousand times goodbye.

0

Days, maybe weeks later when Laura was walking through the corridors of the house she noticed the door to the old room ajar. She looked inside. All was the same. All was still.

All the same, she stepped inside and stood there in the unmoving place. The woman took her time slowly walking around the room, slowly taking it all in.

She stopped short at a plain object. She leant down and lifted its contents, its single contents out, and wondered at how it had come to be there. It had little pieces of wax on it, tiny fragments. But no candle had been in that place.

No, candles were not rubbish. But then…some things that are rubbish are another person's treasure.

0

There was a flurry of sand as Grimmjow smashed his fist into the beach. Kira had just slipped out of the way. She grabbed his elbow as he planted his attack and tugged the joint into its natural direction. The man dropped onto his shoulder as his arm gave way but recoiled by rolling sharply and pinning the girl to the ground.

Kira met his eye and bent her knees up into his torso. She flattened her shins down the sides of his body and forced the one up, shifting the Sexta by his hips and giving her room to flatten her shin firmly against the side of his body.

Grimmjow was smiling. He hardly moved from her strike and lit a cero in his palm. Kira glanced at the red ball and quickly made her own, forcing her palm against his. There was an explosion and then two separate bodies.

The Novena was on her haunches covered in sand, Grimmjow stood and made a long, mockingly amused noise. Kira had a cut in her hairline. It dribbled blood over her eye. The only injury he had was a small bruise to his shin from where she had planted her foot against it.

She was getting better. Her style was a little different. Faster, more agile and yet less predictable. Some of the Sexta had rubbed off. His brutal way of fighting had forced her to find a way to combat his attacks. The only way was to fight a little like him. To not do anything expected. Still, she couldn't match him. Obviously.

"That all you got?" Grimmjow laughed. "Is this all there is to a Novena?"

Kira rolled her eyes. "I am not opening my released form on you."  
"HA! Why not? Scared I'll bring mine out to?" He might not even have to.

"No. I don't want to hurt you."

"Eh? You're fighting me and you don't want to hurt me?"  
"No. I'm fighting you. Fighting comes with hurt. Bringing out my release form would trigger a battle and battles hurt. You fight me to keep yourself all victorious and toned and in shape and whatever. I fight you to know how to fight someone as good as you…and to stay fit and whatever. But because this is not a real fight, I will not hurt you."  
"That's really pathetic."

"You haven't hurt me."  
"Yeah? Don't look now but you're bleeding." He was still smiling.

"Its just realism. And yes, it does hurt but it's different. Your muscles burn when you run, that hurts. Your lungs hurt when you go far. Your knuckles hurt when you punch someone hard enough. Your arm hurts when you have to hold your sword for too long; but all that improves your skill."

"Ah…" Pause. "That's shit."

"Then why haven't you kill me?" Her tone was teasing. Taunting.

Grimmjow laughed as she launched herself. He caught her palm in his fist and turned as she planted her other hand on his shoulder and followed over his head, trying to end up behind him. The man caught her by her throat but missed by a millimetre. He got her collar instead.

"Nah. I won't kill you." He mused. "Not today."

"You won't kill me ever." She smiled.

"Don't bet on it."  
"I don't have any money." Came the clipped wit reply.

Nah. He wouldn't kill her. She wouldn't kill him. If they were going to do such a thing, they would had done it already. Their senses would have told them to do it long ago and now their senses were still waiting for an enemy, but none was around. Nothing was there that was to be killed, even for sport.

Die another day, right?

0

_Is this another death by misadventure?  
Tell me what you got what you really got…_

_Is this a life left just to remember?  
Tell them who you are who you really were._

_(Anberlin, Godspeed)_

0

Kira lay easily on the hammock that the house she had commandeered boasted. She was reading a book. An easy book. A plain book. A thoughtless book. In fact, she was not reading at all; she was ignoring the words entirely and using each place that they took up on paper as a place for a word in her mind.

"We need to move on." She said in an easy tone. The sun was warm on her bare feet and the shade was cool over her face. An inbalance of seasons.

A low grunt came from beside her. Grimmjow was lazing beside her. His eyes closed and an arm behind his head.

"You're getting too relaxed. You need to see Kurosaki. You need a good fight."  
"Damn right." He shot back. "And you're getting to casual."  
"Casual? No. I would say that I am as I always was, I am just more sedate when I am around you."

"Eh?"  
"Except when you're having a go at me."

Grimmjow put a hand on her face and shoved her sideways. She was a lot more relaxed around him, but not so much around others. She was still exactly the same, just not quite so tormented. Still stubborn, still a god-damn pain in the arse, still Kira. She'd evolved a little in her mannerisms and character, but it was still the same person. The single individual had undergone so much evolution that this time it was hardly more than a light tan on already olive skin.

Kira pushed his hand away. She had invaded his space by coming onto the hammock when he had already taken it as his own. She'd gone and sat down and slid into the dip his weight had created.

She got growled at as she shifted, but his eyes didn't open. Not once.

"Well, I'm going to Karakura Town."

"Bugger off then."

"Are you just going to be an old man and lay here?"  
"Ha!" His eyes didn't open. "I'll be in Karakura Town before you get your sorry arse there."  
"Is that a challenge?"  
"Obviously not. You'd never be able to meet such a challenge."

Kira was silent. She turned onto her side and pressed the bridge of her nose against the underside of Grimmjow's jaw. Her fingers found his mask and stopped against it. The girl lifted herself up slowly and kissed the man before standing to her feet and walking towards the house.

Without looking back, she used Sonido to get to the roof of the house. The Novena stood there for half a moment before vanishing again. She left. Just like that.

Grimmjow smiled in a rudimentary manner. No challenge whatsoever. She was just an agitated little brat. The man opened his eyes and laughed before going into an amused growl and vanishing himself.

It was time to move. It had been time to move for a long time. Kurosaki was waiting. Oh, the game was on. The Shinigami would be good and anxious now. He would be waiting for the Espada to appear.

The idea of materialising in his little sisters bedroom and shouting a proverbial 'Boo' was more than entertaining. The reaction that would get. Kurosaki said he would fight anytime, anywhere. But he needed a reason to fight other than to please Grimmjow. No, that would be no fight. That would be a pity battle. That would be a gratuitous play-date.

Nah, Kurosaki had to have a reason to fight. Grimmjow entertained himself with ideas as to how to get the red-head hot blooded and ready for battle. The Orihime kidnapping thing had been done, and it had worked a charm.

Kurosaki was so much more than a point to prove, he was a soul to remove. He would go down for looking down on the king.

0

Ichigo swore as he stood on the roof of a house in Karakura Town. A hollow had appeared and its reiatsu had flared violently in the area. The young man's first reaction was that the dark aura had to be that of the Espada. He didn't measure it, he just felt it. And he felt disappointed, furious and on edge when it wasn't.

He had to know where they were. He had to know. They were such a threat to him and Karakura Town.

"Ichigo, they'll come." Rukia stood a few steps behind.

"They better not."

"And if they don't? What will you do?"

Ichigo was silent.

"They'll be here. Winter isn't far off. It's getting cooler." The girl looked off over the town. "Aizen will be here."

At this, Kurosaki settled. There. There was where his mind should be; removing Aizen. Personal angst had to be put aside for the meantime.

Aizen. Aizen. Aizen.

Ichigo closed his eyes. "Aizen."

0

_A figure walked through a snowy path between what would, in spring, be a lovely green garden. The young woman's skin was white in the cold, her mouth pale and her fingertips a light shade of early red. Steam came from her mouth when she breathed. _

_She stood in front of a naked tree. It had its own private view of the world beyond. It was the woman's valued place. _

_The girl pulled her clothes tighter around her. She was fond of sky blues, pastel greens, creamy whites and deep reds. Her closet was open to tailors, designers and traders of silk. Yet on that day she wore a plain navy kimono over her layers of warm clothes. There was white trimming and a hood that hung down the wearer's back. _

_The young woman heard a deep crunching noise behind her and smiled. In a swift motion she turned and threw a snowball at whoever was invading her silence. She raised her hands quickly to her mouth, not to cover her horror but rather to cover her smile. The man of the house was staring flatly at her with snow melting its way into his hair. _

_"You actually went to the effort to make a projectile." His tone was not humoured. _

_"I saw you here on my way down and thought I would surprise you. Then I got distracted but made a snowball anyway. I haven't done that since I was a kid. I'm going to do it again." She knelt down and began to scrape snow in between her palms. _

_Just as she was getting up a loud noise hit the tree behind her. The woman glanced at the man and then lost sight of him as a drift of snow unstuck itself from the branches of the tree and dropped onto her head. _

_"You will come off second best." The man said fluidly. _

_It didn't stop her from throwing her snow at him and missing completely. His arms were crossed as he watched her move to make another projectile. _

_Before the girl could though, her hands were caught and she was lifted upright. The man had her fingers clamped between his palms and his eyes right on hers. _

_"You WILL come off second best." He repeated. _

_"Are you trying to protect me?" She was half smiling. "Because if you are, it won't stop me. You won't kill me and the saying goes 'what doesn't kill you makes you stronger'."_

_He raised an eyebrow at her. _

_For a moment she looked like a child in trouble before her expression became indignant. "Let my hands go."_

_"No." He said firmly. _

_"Let. Go."_

_"No."_

_"You might be all strong and mighty but I need my hands to do more than throw snowballs at you." Long silence. She tried to pull away and found his grip quite strong indeed. "I am not yours to command. Let go." _

_"Nope." He half smiled. _

_"Do you like tormenting other people?"  
"Yes."_

_"What can I do to get out? What do I have to do?"_

_"Well, you could kick me in the shins, knee me in the stomach, head butt me…the list goes on. Be creative." _

_"I don't want to hurt you." She replied stubbornly. _

_"Then you are not going anywhere."_

_The young woman glared at him. She then dug her toe into the snow and lifted her foot up above his, dropping snow into his shoe. The man gave her a long suffering look. Just as he got distracted with the cold seeping into his skin she kissed him warmly. The girl slid her hands out from between his as his one arm wrapped around her waist and tightened dully. _

_She then stopped abruptly. He was grinning wickedly. Now she was actually in his vice. His arms were stronger than his hands and she was stuck. The woman sighed after trying to find a weak point in his hold. Nope. The more she moved the tighter the grip got.  
"It was a good plan. Mine was better." His voice filled the air above her head smugly. _

_"Okay. Fine. You win." She said. "You win. The end." _

_"Better." He replied as he loosed his grip on her. _

_Just as she stepped back her hand found his wrist and her fingers slid up his. She gripped his middle digit and pulled it backwards. The man reacted as any human would. He leant into the sharp pain that ran down the back of his hand and couldn't focus on much else except for it at that moment. It was a temporary hold, but it would give you the advantage. _

_"See?" She said in his ear. "Brute strength isn't the only way to victory." She let his finger go and held his hand between his own. "I don't want to hurt you, but I will if you're being an ass or if you want to sharpen your instincts." _

_The man laughed brutally. "You're such a brat."_

_"And you now know what that little move feels like and next time it happens, you can do something about it. But don't expect me to do it because I expect you to not be weakened by it."_

_"Smart girl." _

_She smiled. _

0

Kira found her way to the highway in a short amount of time. She knew which way to Karakura Town but she knew she couldn't use Sonido all the way; she would run out of energy too fast. She also couldn't just walk the whole way. It would be so incognito, so without purpose to wander around waiting for winter.

The Novena waited and waited on the side of the busy road. She watched cars shoot past with a keen eye. When a gap in the traffic came, she took her place and faced the oncoming vehicles. A large truck was heading straight at her.

Kira rolled her shoulder blades and leapt forward and up at it.

The driver started when the windscreen made a soft thudding noise. He was too taken aback by it to notice the slight deviation in his side mirror placement.

The Novena used the object as a foothold to hoist herself onto the roof with. Once there she had to duck down behind it to stop herself from getting blown off by the force of the wind. The truck didn't slow at all. The driver didn't stop. Good.

The girl smiled as she found a footing at the back of the cab. Easy. A free ride to Karakura Town. She looked down at her legs and felt them throbbing slightly. She'd hit the windscreen pretty hard with her shins and knee's and they may be suffering the consequences. That or she was wound up about heading towards the battle ground. Or both.

Kira exhaled slowly. It wasn't yet winter. Fall had reached its mid-point and the year was rolling by. It was getting cooler. The battle…the town…she had to be prepared. The time before she thought she had been and she wasn't. Maybe this time around would be the same; but she wouldn't let it. It couldn't ever be the same as it had been that time. Never again. Defeat should mean death for someone like her but she was alive.

She would win or she would die. Who she was going to win against was still up in the air but by the time her sword came out the target would be fixed. It would happen.

And Kurosaki…Kurosaki would do what he had to. And then Grimmjow would do what he wanted to. Before Kira had wanted to see Grimmjow kill the man who was such a threat, such a force that it made the hairs on the back of her neck rise and instantly made her taste defeat, taste death. Now though, now it was an acquired taste that was nothing like departure. The Novena didn't delight in the thought of Ichigo's downfall but if she had to pick a survivor, it would be the one who had promised to survive.

It was not her fight. It was not hers to interfere with. It was not her place. Her fight was with her survival and with the being that had tried to discard it. Whatever stood in the way of that man being taken down; she would remove it.

Kira growled at the thought of Aizen. Aizen-sama. Bastard, Shinigami and player of souls. They were all as fragile as glass and he thought he was the sledgehammer. Well, he was wrong. He was just a thicker piece of glass than some of the others. But not all. Not all.

The Novena glanced over the cab of the truck. Her hair shot backwards as her head lifted into the open air. She had to thin her eyes for a moment to stop them from being assaulted by the dust and debris of polluted air. Her instincts picked up a bit as the presence of reiatsu flicked up in places. Just ahead she could see the shapes of the town. A few minutes later and she had crossed into its territory.

_Welcome to Karakura Town_.

Welcome indeed.

0

Inoue Orihime reacted to the sound of knocking with pleasant surprise. Her face was surprised indeed when she saw who stood at her door.

"Kurosaki-san." She opened the door wider. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, Orihime. I'm fine I just wanted to check up on you."

"Oh, I'm fine too, Kurosaki-san." Inoue smiled.

"Well, I also came to tell you that Grimmjow and Kira will be heading to Karakura Town soon." His eyes were dead on her. "You should not let them into your house no matter what they say. Promise."

"They're coming here?"  
"Hai. Promise me, Orihime."

"Why are they coming?"  
"To face Aizen or us. One of those two." Pause. "Promise."

"H…hai." She replied to his serious, dark demeanour. "Kurosaki-san?"

"Mm?" He had already turned away.

"You don't need to worry about me. I know I've caused you a lot of trouble but…"

"Orhime, you're too nice. Don't be so nice as to break your word, okay?" He smiled as he glanced over his shoulder.

The girl nodded firmly and when she was done the young man was already down the stairs and heading toward the street. Big things were coming, but Kurosaki was Kurosaki. When he was at school and with his friends he was normal. It was when he was thinking about what was to come, and though it was not often, he acted on it to make sure everyone he knew would be safe when the time came for them to be in danger.

This made his friends smile and appreciate him more. It made it so that he could be himself. His dark days were only fleeting. Ichigo was Ichigo after all. He had a support group. He had strength and he had attitude. He would be fine.

He just wanted everyone else to be too.

* * *

_I know this post is late. Some personal things came up and had to be attended to. This means the chapter is shorter than usual. Sad Face. I'm sorry for the inconvenience. I will try to write a longer chapter next time to compensate. :)_

_But I do hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please let me know what you thought. Constructive criticism welcome. _

_Blessings_

_P. _


	20. Chapter 18

_"As heaven and earth move…____we shall continue walking together, down our own paths."_

- ___Unknown_

**Chapter 18**

Kurosaki Ichigo had trouble sleeping. According to reports from Soul Society the Espada had moved. Their rough location had been monitored but they had quickly vanished off the map. Their reiatsu's were easy to find when they were together, but apart it was more difficult; especially when trying to monitor a whole town and prepare for Aizen's coming.

The teen lay under the covers of his bed. The weather was cooling swiftly. It had only been a short time since the Espada had moved and no doubt was raised as to where they were heading. Karakura Town. Though they said they would do no harm, or at least the woman had, they were still a threat.

Ichigo was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice the figure on the rooftop next door. Normal humans wouldn't notice it at all and even those that could see souls would have trouble.

Kira Sato peered down at Kurosaki's house. She could feel the spiritual pressure of the teen oozing out. It tingled. She felt like she should feel threatened, but she swallowed that instinct and slowly let herself down.

The Novena created foot holes in the air with her reiatsu and quietly made her way to Ichigo's window. She closed her eyes and inhaled steadily before opening them and tapping her forefinger on the glass.

The young man glanced over, his eyes meeting a pair of green staring back at him. He sat up quickly and stopped himself from releasing his Shinigami form when the girl swiftly raised her finger to her lips. She indicated for him to open the window.

Kurosaki watched her flatly. A long moment passed and Kira unhooked her sword from her belt and held it up. Though her hands could do a significant amount of damage, it was the thought that counted.

Ichigo let the window up and leant back as the Novena slipped inside, stepped once on his mattress and then landed easily on the floor. She turned and dropped into a cross-legged position on the floor with her sword in her lap.

"Kurosaki Ichigo." Her eyes were flat on his.

"Sato Kira."  
"Just Kira." She held a hand up to him. "I am here to talk to you. I cannot agree with everything you do as a Shinigami but we must no longer oppose each other with insecurity and nerves."  
"Oppose each other?" Ichigo twisted his torso to face her.

"Hai." The girl tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Kurosaki, the reason Ulquiorra came to the Real World was to see if my report was right. I told Aizen you should die, I was the first one to come and see what sort of threat you were. To me, you were a threat. Ulquiorra was wrong; you should have been disposed of. But I cannot bring myself to agree with that idea now. Aizen needs to be disposed of and you're the only one who can do it. I have been afraid of you from the first, afraid of your power, but now it is needed and I can only see it as a blessing that gives me the shivers. So, accept my apology for once trying to have you killed."

Ichigo stared. "When did you…"  
"Does it matter?"  
"No…I guess not." Kurosaki was on edge. Ready to fly into action. "Kira, I value your honesty. We cannot be on the same side."  
"But we do not have to be opposed." She said in a smooth voice. "We have a common enemy."

"And Grimmjow?"  
"Kurosaki…if you can defeat Aizen where Grimmjow cannot, how can he defeat you? You must not let him unnerve you right now. It does please him greatly but he wont touch you until Aizen falls."  
"Why are you with him?"

"Hmm?"

"You are his mate."  
"That is a private matter. But he and I have been around each other, not together, for a long, long, long time. Many lifetimes. And eventually our paths stopped being parallel and merged."

"So you love him?"  
"That matter is even more private and will not be spoken of."

"H…hai." Ichigo watched the girl. "So you are here to offer a truce?"

"No. Not at all." Kira stood easily. She extended her hand. "Just to offer you my encouragement even though I cannot support you and to tell you that though I once wanted you dead, you are needed alive much more than that desire could ever comprehend. If you survive we all will, Kurosaki."

The young man stared at the girl's hand. There was a long moment before he clasped it with his own and shook it.

The Novena nodded at him once and vanished from sight.

Ichigo remained sitting up. He was not at ease at all. His discontent had not grown either though. She had come and gone and said things. She had said things that made it so that he had to win against Azien, not just for Karakura town but for the survival of everything. Of whatever could survive.

The souls could no longer survive on their own strength, not against Aizen. If they were to go on they needed him. Those who had seen him as a threat to their survival now needed him. Those who had wanted him dead would see him live so that they might as well.

The wind that came through the open window was sharp and cold. Kurosaki shut the glass and stared out. They were in Karakura Town.

And they wanted to be left alone and alive for as long as possible. Maybe that was all they had ever wanted from anything. Maybe. No one knew, not even them.

0

Kira wandered through the town unevenly. Something inside her had settled like a rock at the bottom of the ocean. You couldn't see it and it was forever out of reach; but it was there. It was getting smoothed by a current, it was going places without knowing.

That's what life had been like. It had been a process of evolution, a slow and gradual change from the rough form of a Hollow to the sleek figure of the Novena Espada. It was a glance at what had once been before the fall.

Kira stared up at the sky and wondered which star Huedo Mundo would be. A little pale one far off in the distance? One that was separate from all others? Surely it was not a hell beneath one's feet. It was a whole separate entity and yet those from it could dwell in alternate worlds within the same universe.

The Novena ran her fingers through her hair as her feet found the cold and dusty concrete of a familiar warehouse.

A figure sat on one of the crates, elbows on knees and head hanging loosely in apathy. "Yo."

Kira made the peace sign and loafed her way over to the opposite side of the crate. She sat down and lifted her feet up, pulling her knees to her chest and pressing her back into Grimmjow's. Her head leant back and he didn't move.

"It's cold." The Novena mentioned. They hadn't arranged a meeting but once again they had met.

"What 'cha going to do about it?"  
"Wait for it to get even colder and then watch Aizen die."

There was a low grunt of a reply.

"Until then maybe the house the Shinigami leant us will do. There are blankets and a heater. It was always cool in Hueco Mundo because there was no sun, but it was never as cold as true winter in the Real World."

Grimmjow didn't respond. Telling her to shut up didn't work and made him more frustrated. If he killed her then there would be one less person he wanted to kill and that would destroy the fun. If he removed her then she would be gone and that too would be a bit of a shame.

"Urahara Kisuke isn't fare from here. He's got spare beds and crap" Kira mentioned more to herself than anything. She unfolded herself from the crate. "See ya."

The Sexta Espada watched her move towards the door of the warehouse. He just sat there as still as stone. He was waiting now. The game was a waiting game and he was going to win.

The girl vanished from sight. Silence.

A few minutes later Kira was on the edge of the Urahara Store. She broke in through the back window, sure that Kisuke knew of her presence. She found the futons and blankets that were in a closet in a hallway and quickly exited out the same broken window as before. It was so easy, so quick, so silent. A perfect assassination of an unplanned event.

Kira carried her goods to the dusty concrete room with its wooden crates and squatter occupant.

"What are you doing?" Grimmjow asked gruffly.

"Making a bed."

Grimmjow was staring flatly at her. Kira ignored him and stood, examining the futon on the dirty floor. It was alright. It would do. It would be warm enough, hopefully, and at least it wasn't concrete. Comfort and contentment are desired by all species no matter where they come from. They all have a purpose to live and be alive.

Kira didn't look at the man. "You're being distant and lazy. Your whole reiatsu is 'bleh'. What's with the lack of motivation?"

"Csh."  
"Powerful guy like you could have killed Kurosaki in a single blow. You like to play the game of destruction though. Find a weakness and manipulate it until you're satisfied. But this time you haven't got a game, you're waiting your turn and it pisses you off right into a state of distance."  
"Fuxk off."

"Kill the Hollow that appear here. Taunt them."  
"What the heck is your problem?"

"I'm bored." She said flatly as she wandered over to the Sexta. The girl sat down on the edge of the crate beside him. "I'm here in the same place you decided to be in while here and I know you're to much of an egotistical pig to move and I'm too stubborn to allow you to throw me out."  
Grimmjow laughed and shoved her away. "Bloody hypocrite."

Kira buried her hands in her jacket pockets and looked out the door. Mist rose from her breath. She closed her eyes and inhaled. "It's going to snow this season. Smell it; it burns in a refreshing way."

The Novena didn't open her eyes when a heavy hand fell on her head and tried not to smile when a very serious voice told her to shut the eff up. Footsteps meandered languidly towards the entrance of the warehouse.

It was quiet. It was all a bit misplaced and misunderstood and hard to explain. And yet, here they are. Here they are in the same space as the other once again; and once again they had accepted it. Two individuals just moving forward. Not following, not being with, just moving.

Kia sighed and made her way over to her futon. Grimmjow would not come back for a long while. He was going to collect his own private storm cloud and bring it back to brood under. At least it would be more characteristic.

The Novena lay on her back and stared at the ceiling high above. She'd never experienced winter as what she was. Maybe when she had a life before, but not one that she remembered. The girl knew what to expect; cold, wind, dryness, ice. But she'd never been there. That was the difference.

She had known what a Vasto Lorde was. What an Arrancar was. What an Espada was. She'd understood it all, thought through it all; but she'd never been there until she'd arrived. And once she left she hadn't gone back. She could never be an Espada again as Kira Sato. She could not recede to a weaker form. The things she had gone through she couldn't return to.

And maybe it was the same for that winter.

Kira hoped not. She came to a realisation in her head; it was not that she didn't want to go back to Hueco Mundo, but rather that she didn't want to go back to Aizen. Las Noches would be a good place to reside once everything was over. Soul Society didn't work well, it had been tense and coiled. The Real World mistrusted them, couldn't see them and didn't acknowledge them.

An Arrancar belongs where it feels safest. Where it is content and comfortable. And for Kira, that was Las Noches. The freedom, the fights, the sense of forever that went on and on. It wad daunting, but it was where she was.

The Novena breathed out slowly as she rolled onto her side. She stared at the wall for a long moment as she waited for her mouth to get used to the taste of dust. Then Kira drifted off.

Many, many hours later she was awoken by a cold touch. It was her turn to tell him to bugger off.

"Its mine. I found it. I got it. Go away." Kira rolled over and pushed her hands into Grimmjow's chest. He didn't move very much and the distance gained was because the girl had slid herself towards the edge of the futon.

"No." She hissed sleepily. "Piss off. Get out. This is my bubble."

Grimmjow laughed lowly at her lethargic anger. His found its way around her waist and under her ribcage before tugging her closer.

"You're cold." Kira said flatly.

"Shh." He replied gruffly.

"No. Go away. I want my personal space."

"You once told me that an invasion of personal space can be exactly what a person needs."

"You just want the futon."

"Correct." Pause. "Now shut up."

Kira scowled at him for a long and dark moment. He had come in with his storm cloud and happily invaded her clear skies with the rain. Damn it. Bastard. Sometimes she just wanted her own bed and he knew that full well. He wanted his own too. And they were both to stubborn to give in and go and steal another.

The Novena pushed her forehead against the man's collarbone. He was warming up and her instincts told her to get nearer. Kira nearly smacked herself for letting survival overcome emotion but relaxed instead. To hell with it.

"Don't snore." She threatened.

"Shut. Up." His tone was more serious.

"Or what?" Kira questioned mockingly. "You going to find my weakness and manipulate it? I'd rather not get beaten up in my sleep."

Grimmjow's voice was thick and menacing. "Oh, I'll find your weakness. I'll find all your weaknesses and I'll manipulate them until I'm satisfied."

Kira looked up at him. "Like I'd let you find them."

"Like I haven't already."

0

_Storms. The young woman was afraid of storms. Or rather of thunder. The huge claps that you could feel through the furniture you were sitting on…those freaked her out. You didn't know when they were coming, how loud they would be, how long after the blinding flash of light they would arrive…It was unnerving. _

_When she was younger a lightening bolt had hit a tree in the garden. It had been so loud and so bright that the then child had ducked under her covers to hide from it. Afterwards she heard the male servants rushing outside with thick blankets to help the rain smother the flames. _

_Years after that all that was left was a white, dead, leafless tree. Eventually it was cut down for firewood. It couldn't get away and it didn't know so it died. It burned to death. For a young person that can be quite frightening; especially when you yourself don't know much. _

_Maybe that's where her desire to learn and think and understand sprouted from. Maybe it was because she never wanted to be caught unaware or from a different angle. Because she was afraid that something she could only hear and see but not avoid would strike her. _

_In the end it was something she could neither taste nor see nor smell that took her. Hidden within everyday life. She had known after she had drunk her tea. She had looked at the empty cup as her head lifted from her shoulders in a dizzifying way. Her vision swam and the woman broke into a cold sweat. She had to breathe through her mouth as her limbs began to tingle. _

_It hadn't hurt. It hadn't been a prolonged death. But she had died. She couldn't not keep living with her destroyed system. She was the tree that got struck by lightening. Nothing that the young woman could have done or said or been aware of could have stopped such a lethal, unpredictable, previously unseen and misunderstood form of lethality. _

_Maybe it was that day that she stopped thinking about how to not die and rather how to survive._

0

Kira woke up on the floor. Her shoulder and hip hugged the concrete while the blanket loosely hung over her. Grimmjow was in the middle of the futon, his arms under the pillow and his stomach flat against the mattress.

The Novena shifted back onto the bed and used her shins and torso to try and move him as her hands clung to the blanket. It was freezing. The sun was just rising and the frost from the night before was apparent on the already shrivelled and partially frozen shrubs growing from between concrete cracks.

The Sexta growled.

Kira was silent in return. She curled up into a small ball near his ribcage and put her hands between her knees. Her spine ridged against his ribs. It had been a little while since they had arrived in Karakura Town and things were getting chilled.

The Novena had been to see Kurosaki one more time. She had been there to find out news on Aizen and then she had vanished. They could not find them. Or rather, they did not want to. Soul Society was not interested in the rogue Espada for the meantime. That would be dealt with after they had played their part in what was soon to unfold.

Grimmjow lifted onto his elbows and stared down at the figure beside him. Half her face was covered in blanket. Just the one was not enough for a single. Sleeping nearby had become a warmth thing when they wanted to be alone.

The man stared at the wall in a long suffering manner before lying back down. Kira shifted, rolled over and pushed her shoulders into his chest and her head into his neck.

"If you kick me off the futon one more time you will be awoken by my disturbed and cold awakening." Pause. "Take it as a threat."

Grimmjow growled sharply.

"It's cold." Kira continued. "It's got really cold. We need more warmth."

"We?"  
"Saying 'I' is useless now. You just keep appearing and stealing my stuff and I take your stuff and its all just continual. Your road, my road; same path."

"Csh."

"I might visit Orihime Inoue. She would be nice enough to spare another blanket."

Grimmjow glanced at her. "Go freaking crazy."

"Kurosaki probably told her not to let us into her apartment. Or for her to help us…"

"And why is that even a problem?"  
"Right, I forgot. Kurosaki doesn't matter." Kira looked up. "How on earth are you going to take on the kid who takes on Aizen?"  
Grimmjow's expression became dark. "I'll kill Kurosaki."

"Because he looked down on you?"

"I am the King."

"I know." Kira mentioned. "You're the King. Kurosaki knows. He doesn't want to kill a monarch."

"You're so full of shit."

"Well, if you take him on in a death fight, then make sure you get him quick. No playing or letting him get his freaky mask out."

"Csh."

"You can toy all you want with my weaknesses and everyone else's. But Kurosaki is only weak when he's not all victory-suited in his mind." Kira exhaled. "You didn't kill him before and that's a good thing. He didn't get you and that's also a good thing. But after all the Aizen business…"

"Could you stop talking? Just once?" He snapped sharply. "You're such a filthy little brat and I don't give a damn about your thoughts."

The Novena half smiled. "Just…be careful."

Silence.

"Maybe not careful. You aren't careful. Just be…precise."

"Count on it." Was the gruff reply.

As the sun rose, so did Kira. She wandered over and stretched herself up. It was cold. She could feel it all the way through her skin. It was penetrating.

The girl blew warm air onto her hands and stepped into the sun. That was a bit better. It had snowed lightly a few days earlier. Kira hadn't seen it but it had been there. Part of her wanted it to snow heavily and properly; just for a bit. Just for a moment before Aizen came.

The Novena stomped her feet and started on her way. She found Orihime's house with ease and ascended the stairs smoothly. She didn't hesitate before knocking on the door and didn't feel anything when the red-head opened the door.

Inoue gasped and stepped back in a surprised manner.

"Hey." Kira said normally. "I was in town and thought I'd drop by." That bit was a little sarcastic.

"Sato-san…"

"Hai." The Novena remained at the door. "I know you're probably under orders not to help us, but I need a favour."

"What is it, Sato-san?" Orhime held the door with one hand. She was dressed warmly and a heater was on nearby.

"Its cold."

Inoue looked at the other girl. She was wearing what she had always worn. The jacket though was thin, the pants not for winter wear and the boots hardly snow-proof. "Where are you staying?"

"In a stolen bed." Was the only reply given.

"I could give you a few blankets…" the girl vanished inside "and maybe…do you have electricity?"  
"I doubt it."

"Do…do you have a roof over your head."

"Yes."

"Okay." Came the timid reply.

Orhime was delving into a closet on the edge of the room. Kira remained outside. She watched as the red-head grabbed a blue woollen blanket and brought it to the door.

"Here, Sato-san. This is a very warm blanket. Put it under the one you already have and its supposed to trap your body heat or something."

"Don't you need it?"

"No, I have two. I'll just have to use the dyer at the laundry instead of taking a new one out when I change sheets."

"Oh. Hai." Kira looked at the item in her hands. "Why are you so willing to help?"  
"Because I would want to be helped." Her voice was small and honest. "Because you deserve to be helped if you need it."

Silence. Kira glanced over the town quickly. "I have nothing to give you right now but expect it soon."

"No, you don't have to do that. It's a favour."

"Not in my world." With that, the Novena vanished from sight.

Two days later Orhime found a clean book in front of her door. It was new and freshly bound. No store reported any thefts, but maybe they wouldn't notice one book and a swift entry and exit thief. Especially one no one could see.

The red-haired girl stared over the town and wondered where Kira was. She wondered if she was warm. She didn't wonder why she was thinking about the wellbeing of the Espada; just that she was. Just that she was dealing with them as if they were like her, like they were souls with emotion. Like they were not evil, they were not black and the Shinigami were not white.

They were people.

They.

They.

Orihime hoped it was a 'they'. Thinking of Kira alone was a bit daunting. Thinking of Grimmjow alone was a bit frightening. Together they were more of a threat statistically, but they never attacked together, never worked as a team, never did something to aid the other's plan if it took away from theirs.

But if they were together then they were at least not alone.

0

That evening the blue blanket was in the object of a tug of war between egos. Kira knew she would never win so in the end she just accepted defeat before she had it beaten out of her.

"Ha! If only you did that more often." Grimmjow rolled over and took most of the blanket with him.

"You want me to do it all the time."

"You're catching on." He was mocking.

"That would be boring though."  
"Shut up."

Kira folded her hands over her stomach. No scars. Not physically. She closed her eyes. It wasn't scary to close her eyes. The dreams she had lost she couldn't remember and those she could she was able to face.

Her strength grew. Her confidence swelled. But it never surpassed her friend; that kept her in check. She would never be better than him. Not even if she tried. Not even if she wanted to.

The Novena turned onto her side facing away from Grimmjow and pulled the warmth she had around her. Outside it began to snow. Kira watched it fall. It was so beautiful and so simple and so clean. And when it hit the ground it was just the same.

"_I said follow me, not to trust me. But you were weak; you had to trust me because if you didn't you'd have died a long time ago as a powerless, insignificant beast."_

_"Weak?" Kira gave the man in front of her a once over. "Hardly. And I didn't trust you, not even a little bit. You're a Shinigami. Trusting you, now that would have been weak. But trust in itself…its just trust. It can get you broken or it can protect you. It's an impasse. It's just trust."_

_"Your mind lies to you." Aizen's eyes locked onto hers. "Just lies."_

The Novena opened her eyes quickly and sat up so fast that her head swam. That dream she remembered.

It had stopped snowing outside. There was a thin layer of white around the building. Ice formed on the metal work.

Kira didn't feel it; she didn't notice that it was just the same. Nothing would be the same for very much longer.

He was coming. He was just a breath away.

He was coming.

0

I promised a chapter ASAP. Sorry it took so long.

Hope you enjoyed it. Leave me a review to let me know what you thought. Constructive Criticism is welcome.

Blessings,  
P.

P.S) If anyone knows the author or origin of the quote for this chapter then please let me know. Many thanks to spaceisforstars for bringing the quote to my attention. J


	21. Chapter 19

_And the dogs were barking at the new moon, whistling a new tune hoping it would come soon_

_So that they could die._

- _Nelly Furtardo, All Good Things._

**Chapter 19**

Kira Sato sat on the roof of an old warehouse in the middle of winter. She had a blue blanket wrapped around herself but she had ceased to notice. Her eyes were on the sky.

She could feel it. Things were moving. Things were being put into motion that could never be undone. Aizen's treasure would accept him and he would either rise above all else or fall. Fall with a lot of others.

The Novena felt the cold sting of fresh snow on her face. It was an overcast day. It was breezy and dry. It was peaceful.

Kira smiled slightly and wiped the water off her face. She stood and walked to the edge of the roof before stepping off the edge. The ground thudded with the landing but she was unharmed. An Espada. Tougher than anyone had ever predicted. Deadlier than anyone thought possible. And maybe, because of that, more human than any other being in the entire universe and beyond.

Grimmjow was sitting cross legged in the middle of the futon. He had been away for days at a time, Kira too. They came and went, flowing in and out like a tide. The Novena often went near to Kurosaki's, to the park where she had been hit by the Hollow, to the school, to Orihime's and then around. She watched people, she watched families indoors at night, and in dead silent moment she wished that she could join them. Just for a second.

And then there was Grimmjow. Just sitting there. No lights, no music, no movie on TV. No mother and father and sister and brother. Just him. And it felt…just fine.

The Novena threw the blanket she had taken onto the one side of the futon.

She ran her hands over her hair to get the little pieces of snow out of it. "When did you get back?"

"Tsk. You were that far gone?"

"Basically, yes."

He glanced up at her. "What the heck were you doing?"

"Just sitting."

"Good."

"And thinking." She added with a half smile.

The man glared briefly at her.

"Can you sense it?" Kira walked over and dropped her knees onto the mattress. "Aizen is moving. He gave us power and now we can feel it shifting and coming."

Grimmjow simply put his hand flat on her face and shoved her to the side and away.

The Novena lay on her side and shifted so her body was slightly curved around his knee, her face looking at the side of his hipbone. "So this is nearly it then?"

"Nearly it? What the hell are you talking about?"

"The end always comes upon you fast. Time is the same but always in fast-forward." Her voice was low.

"You're absolutely pathetic." Grimmjow scoffed.

"For dying?"

"Nah, baka." He looked down at her. "You're just pathetic."

Kira lifted herself up and put her chin on his shoulder, her hand on the other. "Don't you die."

"Csh."

"It's not that stupid." Pause. "And…about Kurosaki-."

"Shut your freaking trap." He hissed.

"Just…be okay. Alright?" Her spare hand slid around his torso.

Grimmjow was silent. He wasn't going to return the question. Like hell he would. He wouldn't have to. He didn't give a damn whether she kept her promise or not. Maybe if he made or keep it, but not if she did. People don't maintain that sort of deal. It's impossible. 'Don't Die'. Now that is pathetic.

Kira exhaled and dropped her forehead to the place her chin had been. Just for a moment. Just long enough for Grimmjow to turn into her and drop his arms heavily on either side. The girl leant back slightly out of instinct as he moved forward.

His kiss was warm. It was moments like those when Kira thought that maybe she did talk too much. Too many things could be communicated in other ways so long as you know the other persons method of communication.

The Espada of destruction. Maybe she had been the muse for that. Driven him so far into wanting to punch her that he had to do it to just about every other thing; even her some days. Abuse was something she would never tolerate, that no one should ever tolerate. Every time he moved to her in a threatening way was like a training session. The adrenaline was there, but there was also a safety net somewhere.

Kira felt as safe as a first time base jumper. There were risks in all things and they were the scary bits. Get past those and everything will go swimmingly.

The Novena shifted slightly and moved her mouth to the dip at the top of his throat, just between the jaw and the back of the ear.

Grimmjow growled lowly at her. She bit him lightly and got a hefty smile.

He might not feel like a base jumper. He was more of a hiker. It just went on and on and on but you just kept walking to get to wherever you were going. Trudging past views and vistas, lakes and valleys; each could be a destination but all were rarely camped at.

Whatever. Each to their own adventure.

Though in real life Grimmjow would probably hike to the top of a base jumping site and Kira would just hitch a ride and walk to some picnic ground after. Again, each to their own. Roll your eyes if you please.

0

Kurosaki received a message from Soul Society to say that the Espada were indicating signs of change. They had begun to move less and head to specific destinations. These indicators correlated with predictions for Aizen's arrival. It wouldn't be long.

Ichigo was normal during school; he had become relaxed about it. They were coming and he couldn't change that. He could, however, change the outcome of their plans. He would change that outcome.

Rukia seemed to have accepted the idea. The Shinigami in Karakura Town had steadied themselves; every preparation possible had been made. They were quiet. Everyone wanted to talk about it but no one did. Every conversation path faded away with background thought.

The presence of Hollow in the town had decreased substantially. The Espada had not been seen since Kira visited Kurosaki. Grimmjow had been around Kurosaki's house, Ichigo knew that much. He could feel the brute sitting nearby just waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

His mate sometimes came close and veered away. Ichigo wondered about her. About the winter. Everyone was wearing thicker clothes, boots and gloves. The Espada didn't have that. All they knew was that the pair was wearing what they had always worn.

Orhime did admit to helping the Novena out with a blanket. It was a little better. She had made no contact after that.

And then one day much later, on the way back from school, Kurosaki stopped.

A lean figure was standing near a lamp-post. Her hair was down; it seemed it wouldn't be tied back for a while since it had been free so long. Her hands were in her pockets.

"Kira?" Ichigo queried as Rukia pulled up beside him.

"Hai." She replied and stood straight. "I came to let you know."

"Let me know what?" He didn't move closer.

"Las Noches is stirring."

"How do you know."

"I know." She replied steadily. "You Shinigami predicted right. He's coming."  
"When?"

"Soon." Kira met his eye. "Now. Concrete yourself, Kurosaki. Tsunami's don't break on rocks, they drown them."

"Hai." Ichigo said firmly.

Rukia watched the Novena. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Her voice was quiet. "I'm sure." The girl turned to leave.

Her hostility to Kuchiki had vanished like summer rain. She had found her tastes in enemy and ally over the past months. She could identify friend from foe without looking at what clothes they wore, where they came from or what they did. They were equal. Kira respected Rukia, didn't trust her and didn't want to kill her.

"Safety and peace." Were the last words she said before walking away.

0

_"Your cold character does not freeze all the way to emotion." A young woman said to the early, early light of morning. _

_Silence.  
"I'm reading you. You don't hide anything. Not you. People are just like books. Every kind of book." Her tone was soft and low and suited to the time of day. _

_"Shhhh." His voice was sharp. _

_The young woman closed her eyes to the ceiling. "Okay."_

_Silence. _

0

How does anyone know anything? How does anyone know anybody else?

Seasons come and go, life's come and go, memories linger. People pass. Things that should be remembered are forgotten. Things that should be cherished are lost.

And it's all relative.

The young man who left the Real World early didn't know he was going to. The old man who left the Real World when he was supposed to knew. They were the same. They both went. They didn't know the exact time or hour and they both hoped for a bit more life and coherence. And they both died.

All the work put into life to be ended. Passed on. Continued. It just…it didn't feel weird or misplaced. It was right.

People died. People would keep dying. New life would keep coming. Good lives would keep getting memorial smiles.

Aizen was coming and people were going to die. Shinigami, Vizard, Arrancar, maybe even human. Blood was coming. Grab your life vest dignity and your loved moments. Leave behind your mistakes and broken hearts so that if you live, they would then be dead. And if you die, they would not be with you.

It was cold. It was a chilled winter. Ominous. Looming. Lingering. It was as if it knew something that no one else did. Cold can be good, beautiful, elegant. Or it can be bad, dangerous and deadly. It was both. It was both.

Kira closed her eyes as she walked back to the warehouse. All she could think about were those who would die. She couldn't see their faces but she wanted to, then she'd have the chance to say goodbye even if she knew she wouldn't.

She was ready for the fight to come. She was fit and her weaknesses had become tougher. She was faster and could last longer. She could hit harder, take bigger falls and leap at risks she wouldn't usually go for.

The Novena didn't even put the Sexta on the list of possible deaths. He was the only one not there. Even those who had no names were there when he was not.

Kira sighed. She didn't feel burdened, she just felt nostalgic. From sand to snow and hopefully back again. Back again. To the endless night, the white corridors and the quiet. To the end of an adventure and the beginning of another.

That would happen when Aizen lost. Aizen would lose. For the sake of all that was good, she would make sure of it. Every desire to see Kuchiki, Kurosaki and the Shinigami crushed had drifted away. It was just Aizen. Just that one threat. That one that would not be understood.

0

It first began with one Menos. Shinigami ran to their positions as the hole ripped open the sky and the screaming shadow emerged. They held their swords and prepared for a long battle.

It ended in a second. There was a long, rough, amused, throaty noise. The Menos shrieked and blew apart into nothingness. The Blue Haired Espada told the dead air to eff off as he grinned wickedly. He then looked at the Shinigami, his smile widening, before vanishing.

Kira was there when he reappeared. All was dead silent.

"The deep breath before the plunge." She mentioned. "Good breathing."

Grimmjow laughed. "What plunge? This is going to be a freaking party and I'm the king."

"Party? Well, if you want to be sadomasochistic about it…"

"Aizen is about to die. Kurosaki is about to become reacquainted with my fist. It's a good day."

"And the day after?"

"Las Noches will have a real King."

"Can I be the jester?"

"You can audition."

"Queen?"  
"Don't kid yourself."

Kira smiled. "Just keep your promise."

Over time she had realised that it wasn't him who was keeping his promise or her that was keeping hers. He was keeping her and she was keeping him. It was a pretty okay system until one side failed. Then it would just be one figure on a road that had been big enough for two. The wind on your back would be quite nippy indeed after that as it funnelled into the smaller path.

"Next one's mine." The Novena challenged.  
"I thought I said not to kid yourself."

"Don't underestimate me."

"No one is underestimating, you just suck."

Kira threw a loose handful of snow at him. "The sooner this is over the sooner we can leave."

"We?"

"Yeah." Pause. "We."

0

And so it begins.

And so it begins.

And so it begins.

0

Kira climbed to the top of a building that overlooked Karakura town. She perched on the top and watched and waited. Grimmjow was nearby, she could sense him. Dark figures loomed over the rest of the town. Screaming figures. Roaring and falling to the Shinigami.

The Novena hoped none of them had the potential to be like she was. She hoped they had lost their consciousness.

The girl sighed and brushed her hair out of her face. She closed her eyes to the cold air. Power was moving towards Karakura Town. The Menos were not an attack, they were just a taste. Things were coming that had been seen before, but things that had never been encountered properly. That power…that man…

Kira opened her eyes as a low ripping noise opened the sky some distance away. As far as she knew, the town had been moved to Soul Society again. It was an action replay. All that was there for them was a model to destroy like children.

The garganta opened the darkness of Hueco Mundo to the Real World and let out a group of figures.

Aizen, Tousen and Gin were at the head, followed by five Arrancar. It was apparent that none of them were tattooed; something had happened to the concept of Espada for the Shinigami. Aizen had changed that idea even though it wasn't his to change.

There was silence.

Kira examined the Arrancar. All of them were men. Two tall, one short and two in between. Blonde, brunette, black, brunette, brunette. Muscled, lean, stout, smiling, scowling. The final gathering.

Yamamoto addressed Aizen smoothly with unmarked displeasure at his altercations. He got laughed at in reply, chastised even, belittled and mocked.

Kira clenched her jaw momentarily and coolly watched the Shinigami who thought he was god. His eyes coolly turned to hers and even though there was some distance separating them he locked onto her with a long stare.

The Novena didn't waver. Maybe it was the distance that allowed her to do that, maybe it was her loathing of the man. The loathing of what he had done to them, used them, cheated them, led them to death.

'Follow me' he had said. He just forgot to say his path led to the end of all things.

Kira growled lowly in the back of her throat and watched. Her mind cleared of all else except that hateful man's hideous face. He was ugly. Everything about him was ugly. Maybe he had been attractive once, and his appearance had not changed, but now it was surrounded with his aura and stench.

The five Arrancar vanished suddenly as Aizen was surrounded by Yamamoto's flames. This had happened before. It was such dejavous.

Kira heard a pleased laugh nearby. Grimmjow had found something to play with while he waited. Something more entertaining than a Menos.

A dark haired Arrancar with a scythe shaped blade stood in front of the Sexta.

"Yo, Arrancar." Grimmjow said, amused.

"Are you one who abandoned Aizen?"  
"Hai, what of it?"

"It will be your most fatal mistake."

"Big words, little man." Grimmjow laughed. "Let me show you how fatal Aizen should have been with you."

Kira watched as the Blue Haired Espada shot forward at the Arrancar and drove a punch into his blocking arm. They skidded back.

"Oi, where are you looking."

The Novena glanced at the voice. The blonde was there. He had an easy smile and a slick expression. He was tall and strong and his mask ran in two straight lines down his face.

"You the Novena?"

Kira stood straight. "Yes. I am." She stared straight at him.

"Well, enjoy your last few moments in that rank. I'm about to remove it."

"And your name?"  
"Hachi."

"Okay." The girl nodded.

The man watched her vanish from sight. He turned to block her attack from behind and threw her sideways and away.

"Oh, that was sneaky. You're a little fox." He said warmly. "Don't worry, I'm a good hunter."

The Novena didn't move out of the way of his kick. Instead she did what Grimmjow had done to her so many times before. She grabbed her opponent by the ankle and stopped him. Then Kira put her free hand swiftly on his knee and sharply forced her strength back against the joint.

The sickening crack let her know that her move had worked. Hachi shrieked in pain and cursed her.

He breathed heavily after overcoming his pain. "No matter. It seems I won't go easy on you after all."

Kira paused. This man, this Arrancar….he was…weak. He looked strong but he was not anything near what the Espada had been. It was sad.

The Novena stopped his sword with her hand and met his eye. "You cannot beat me." She said honestly. "Go back to Hueco Mundo. Go back and be what you are and not what Aizen says you are."

Hachi growled. "You would say that, wouldn't you? You're a deserter."

"Is that what they told you?"

Stony silence.  
"Aizen discarded all the Espada in a battle against the Shinigami. You wouldn't be garbage when you're not, so I left. I confronted Aizen and got attacked by Gin."

"You were stupid to contest Aizen-sama!"

Kira was about to draw her sword and plant it in the man's belly when she stopped. She couldn't do it. Not to this man. A Shinigami had to do it. He had to be given the chance to start over and turn into more than nothing. He was blind permanently, she could see it.

The Novena took off towards the Shinigami. She could sense Matsumoto nearby and headed straight for her.

The red-headed Shinigami was watching the spot Kira appeared in. The Novena met her eye before vanishing up into the sky. Hachi landed straight after her departure and looked at the Shinigami. He smiled as he considered the woman easy prey. Be it upon the Novena when someone died because she had led him to her.

Kira could hear his wicked thanks as she shot back to her original spot. The building crumbled into dust as Grimmjow toyed with his opponent.

"Is this what Aizen replaced us with?" He was laughing. "You're pathetic!"

The man he was fighting lay in a pile of rubble, bleeding from the head, shoulder and lip. Grimmjow advanced on him aggressively until he stood over the Arrancar. He lifted a foot and put it on the man's chest. He glared down at him before lifting his shoe and planting it in his opponent's ribcage.

"You ain't no fun." He said as he walked after the tumbling body. "Release your sword. Show me what you've got."

Kira glanced back over her shoulder as Hachi did them same. He turned into a huge bee-type creature with a large stinger and creepy eyes. Matsumoto did not look to be struggling.

The Novena knew better than to interfere with Grimmjow, so she looked out over the battle ground instead. The three other Arrancar were battling Soi Fon, Hisaguya and Renji. Mayuri was having a bit of a go at Gin as another Captain, Kira couldn't see who, fought Tousen. Vice Captains had joined in on a few of the fray's.

Things rolled on like thunder. They broke upon buildings like the ocean. Shinigami fell in smoking heaps as the bodies of their enemies, Arrancar and Menos tumbled to the ground with them. So many foot soldiers. Such a dark mass. So few elite.

Aizen must think himself god. This was not how it should have worked. The whole plan was crumbling. It should be dejavous but it was something different with the same beginning.

Kira heard Grimmjow slice his sword through the man he was fighting, severing the head of a snake-figure that was his release. She looked down at him and saw him looking up at her.

He then looked over the battle. Smoke rose from the huge ball of fire that encased Aizen and his friends. The Arrancar that had come with the Shingiami looked around and saw themselve's greatly outnumbered. There were only two left, both of them gravely injured.

It had only been a short time. So short. It was too easy. Too easy indeed.

Kira watched the remaining Arrancar scramble away and vanish into a garganta. Good choice. If only their comrades had done the same.

The Novena easily made her way over to the Shinigami. Nothing stood in the way of Aizen now. No more distractions. It made her anxious and light headed.

The feeling of plummeting towards earth with holes ripped in her torso was so vivid and frightening. That would always haunt her. It would be her baggage.

Yamamoto smoothly put his staff down to disintegrate the flames. His eyes opened suddenly at the vision. There were three figures. A hollowfied Tousen, a sly Gin and Aizen.

The blind captain's transformation took everyone aback. Everyone except those who had already witnessed it. They were preparing to battle it once more.

Kira stopped in her tracks. So Aizen could give them Shinigami powers and he could give his men Hollow powers. And it didn't feel like someone had crossed over to the dark side by adopting the ways of Las Noches. The Novena minded, it was like an invasion, but she did not feel that by becoming what he had become that Tousen was evil or good.

He liked justice. Justification.

The blind captain vanished only to reappear with a blade drawn on Konomaru.

Gin turned to where Kira stood. "Looks like we're finishing what we've got to finish what we started, eh?"

The Novena watched him. "Don't flatter yourself." Her voice was flat.

"Ah, Sato-san." Aizen's calm and arrogant voice lifted to the girl's ears. "You look well."

She slid her gaze to him.

"I trust that Soul Society treated you well?" He gave her a once over. "You know this means we're enemies? I am very sorry that you decided to discard yourself in such a way."

"No, Aizen. You threw your men away and I just happened to realise before I joined them. You said follow me, but you could have had the decency to say where. Death and disrespect do not exactly top the travel list of Vasto Lorde."

Aizen smiled. "For you to follow me all the way to death would mean you trusted me. That is something I never asked."  
"And the only thing you never got from the two remaining Espada."

"Two? Ah, yes. Grimmjow." His eyes slid just behind the girl. "You have done well for yourself, Sexta."

"Csh." Grimmjow spat. "I'm going to do better once you're dead."

"Bold words."

The Sexta smiled wickedly and remained gleefully silent.

"At least you got a mate out of it." Aizen turned to Kira. "Isn't that right?"

"Are you wasting time? It feels like it to me. All those nights spent serving you, going on missions for you…such a waste. You are a waste of time, Aizen. You think you are a god, but you don't have many believers. A collection of strays as followers and no holy testament to speak of. You are just a Shinigami who decided to gain more power. That is what you will always be. Since leaving Las Noches I know that I will always have origins as a Hollow in Hueco Mundo, but I have origins as a soul dating further back than that. You are not dealing with simple animals with killer instincts, you are dealing with people; and you dealt them wrong."

"Oh? You have a history now? I am very pleased." He mocked her sweetly. "But you are right about one thing. We're wasting time."

Just as the last words left his mouth the sound of a blade sliding free of its sheath took over. The Novena stepped sideways and out of the way of Gin's blade. "What? Cant draw your own sword?"

"Not against you." Aizen turned away. "Gin, play nice."

Kira shot through the air quickly and drew her sword as she moved. In a singular, fluid movement she aimed a blow at Aizen. His hand came up, grabbed the metal of the sword and stopped it. His eyes moved to hers.

The Novena was not surprised. She knew he had the power to not be harmed by her. She was seething though.

"That was a bit optimistic." Aizen's voice was smooth. "But then again, you know where you stand and it is not close to me."

The Shinigami threw the sword sideways, casting Kira along with it. She skidded to a halt before turning sharply and shooting back at him.

Gin's sword stopped her and their battle re-began.

A menos roared from a newly opening Garganta. It was followed by many, many friends. Save time, create foot soldiers. No elites, just numbers. The hollow descended on the town, firing Cero at groups of Shinigami as they went.

Behind their vast mass stood a singular figure. Dark hair, dark eyes and no number. He needed no number.

Kira heard Gin talking. "That is Aizen's latest project. His name is Hama. He was created to destroy Kurosaki."

This new creation…Grimmjow's eye's locked on it and he smiled. "Kurosaki, eh?"

"He is a replacement for the Espada."

Grimmjow laughed. "Oh, bring it on." One life for the lives of nine. One to defeat one. The numbers were down, things were simpler even if just as hard. One for nine. One for one. What a poor investment. What a poor investment indeed.

The Sexta called out to the figure arrogantly and shot off. Gin was smiling slyly.

"See this?" The Novena turned to the man. "This is my fist." She drove her closed hand into the side of the captain's face.

He moved away just in time so that her knuckles just brushed his cheek instead of imbedding themselves in his skin. "Sato-san, you're much faster."

She stared at him in a deadly manner.

"And much more determined. Your rage from our last visit blinded you. Now it drives you. A pleasant change."

Kira heard the first clash of Grimmjow and his brand new opponent. The Sexta was laughing heartedly. The being created to kill Kurosaki so Aizen could go about his business without interference.

This new Espada creature, this was everything Kurosaki and Aizen was. If this thing could be killed, then so too could the Substitute Shinigami, and so too could Aizen. The two birds who had looked down on Grimmjow would be killed with one stone.

Kira latched her fingernails deep into Gin's robe and shifted her body weight sideways. The man lost his balance momentarily and the girl used the movement to create a momentum that would send him reeling sideways.

She followed him deftly and kept a close range. He would use his sword soon. And he did. It came seething out of thin air and slid over the skin of the Novena's forearm. First blood, first foul. Kira hissed and pushed his blade away with her own.

Before anything else could happen, the girl felt a sharp burning through her back. It came in from beside her spine and drove through her torso. She stopped immediately and looked down at the sword that had exited through her front.

"As you said 'waste of time'." A cool voice said in her ear.

Gin was smiling. Aizen pulled his blade out from the Novena and watched her stumble a step forward. She hadn't even sensed him coming. She could not comprehend his power.

"Gin, let's go." Aizen spoke as he opened a Senkai gate.

The timing was so perfect. All the Shinigami were occupied with the Menos, healing and monitoring.

"Ichigo!" Kira yelled. "KUROSAKI!"

Yamamoto was watching as Aizen stepped into his Senkai gate and closed it shut. The Shinigami in Soul Society should be able to hold him off the slumbering Karakura Town. Kurosaki was already in the world between, training and preparing in some secret corner. Waiting for the day when Aizen arrived.

Time had not been restarted there after the last entry of Aizen. They knew this day would come.

Kira gripped her stomach and cursed. She had not noticed. She was angry that she had not noticed. Stupid. Stupid. Damn.

The girl used the back of her hand to wipe a dribble of blood from the corner of her mouth as she stood straight. Her breath stammered for a second before she held it and controlled it. Kira closed her eyes briefly, gathered herself and returned to the battle.

She sensed Urahara coming up beside her. She glanced at him as he opened his own Senkai gate with Yoruichi just behind.

"I'm coming." Kira said to them as the doors to Soul Society slid open.

Kisuke looked at her, his expression saying no. "Hurry up then."

The Novena nodded and made her way into the Senkai Gate. She looked back just as the doors were closing and saw Grimmjow enjoying himself as he toyed with Hama. The battle hadn't even started yet. Kira had to smile for a moment before beginning a hurried journey towards Soul Society and the real Karakura Town within.

_Eish. I know this chapter has been A LONG TIME in coming. I am so sorry. I have been under a pile of work and other commitments and just haven't been able to get to it. _

_This was going to be the final chapter but I thought that you deserved more after my absence lately. So within the coming week expect the finale. _

_I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Let me know what you thought. Constructive criticism welcome. _

_Blessings, _

_P._


	22. Chapter 20

_"The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is."_

- _Winston Churchill _

**Chapter 20**

Kira stumbled into Soul Society, her hand pressed against the exit wound in her stomach. A metallic taste lingered in her mouth and she fought to ignore it.

"Sato-san." Urahara mentioned flatly as they hurried towards the presence of Aizen and the slumbering Karakura Town. "Sato-san, you are not okay to continue."

"That is not yours to decide, Urahara." She had her eyes set on the outline of the town up ahead. "I am not under your command, I am under my own."  
"Then listen to your head."

"Its too busy listening to other things." Kira replied, her heart screaming at her to be there when Aizen was brought down.

Yoruichi shot ahead as the reiatsu in the town grew. The presence of those who had hurried faster than them was evident. And then fading. Matsumoto was lingering and slowly disappearing. Gin was exploding and Aizen dominated. He was like a stench that got into everything. Into all your senses, into your hair, into your eyes, into your clothes. It was overpowering and hideous.

Kira stopped her advancement as she reached the outskirts of the town. She stood on top of a tall building and looked out over the place Kurosaki Ichigo was trying to defend.

It was a place full of people. A place full of souls. It was their home. It was where they belonged. People can move and survive, they can change their lives to adapt to their circumstances. But this place was being protected for its people. They hadn't moved the souls; they had moved their entire home.

Home was where the heart was.

Kira moved her hand up and pressed it over the hole beneath her sternum. Her heart was uneasy; it had been since coming to the Real World. There had been times where it could rest, times when it felt comfortable. But only now was she realising that it was not at home.

Not in Soul Society.

Not in the Real World.

Las Noches was not the equivalent of hell. It was just another dimension. It was just another place. Some people like the cold and others like the heat. Some like day and some like night.

In the moments leading up to the moment she hungered for the Novena Espada began to realise just where her Karakura Town was. The place she would transport to protect. Aizen had taken the souls from that place. He had destroyed them.

And now he was gone and those who got away would go back.

Those.

More than one.

There had been a time when Kira had wanted nothing more than to see Kurosaki slaughtered. He had been a threat and a danger and he had been against what she knew. But in the end, he wasn't a threat; he could be, but he wasn't. In the end it was Aizen. In the end it was the one who had blinded them all.

The girl felt the warm trickle of blood begin to slow as her body regenerated. She was not good at recovering during a fight; not like Ulquiorra. But her body could do just as much as it could to help her carry to the end.

Whatever end that may be.

Kira heard a noise below. A young girl's voice. A young boy's voice. The Espada's eyes searched the ground for the souls she could feel. So faint, like distant stars. But still souls. Even the black spaces of the visible universe housed lives that could not be seen.

The Novena's eyes locked onto the figure of some students. She had seen them at the festival, at the school. She knew that they were friends of Kurosaki, friends of Orhime. And she knew she owed both those people, even if she didn't know the names of who she was helping.

Urahara and Yoruichi had vanished to some place. They were waiting. Planning. Plotting. They had their fingers crossed.

The unintroduced students took a sharp step back when a feline figure landed between them and the man hovering over.

"Another one." A boy said in a disastrous tone.

"Ah, Kira." Aizen mused easily. "Being a hero?"  
"Didn't your mother tell you not to play with your food?" The girl replied with a small smile.

"Food? Well, yes, you could call them that. Sustenance to my plans, to the future of my life."

"You should learn to be more resourceful just in case there's a shortage."

"Just in case?"

"You never know what one who has been a Hollow will do." Part of Kira knew that her boldness lingered on the pain from her torso. Part of her knew they would be some of the last words she would speak to Aizen.

The man laughed in amusement. "You have come a long way, Kira."

"There's a long way to go yet, Aizen." Her eyes met his and she vanished.

She shot straight at the man in front of her. He grabbed her wrist as she came close and lifted it up into the air so her feet hung just above the ground. Aizen's hand shot forward to pierce the Novena's torso but she lifted her body up above the action. Her legs carried her around as the strength in her arm began to fail and she got a circular momentum around the man she hated.

Kira felt his grip loose on her wrist and she dropped her actions and hit the floor firmly with the balls of her feet before beginning to send the rest of her figure down. Her quickness got her heel against the back of Aizen's knee. The force made him stumble.

The students had begun to run. They were moving.

Aizen turned to the girl who now perched on the ground behind him. "You know you cannot beat me, so you save them? Interesting, Kira. I'm glad you lived long enough to show me the evolution of your mind and personality. But adaption stops here. Your boldness is a mutation that puts you in the most terrible of situations."

The Novena had to quickly leap out of the way as a blade came down at her shoulder. The moment she stilled was the moment she launched off again. This time she didn't head for Aizen.

One of the students felt a firm force wrap around the back of her shirt. It gave way as quickly as it had appeared and another body landed beside her own. Soon all those she had been trying to rescue and take away from the haunting figure were there.

The feline figure stopped just in front of her. They could still see Aizen in the distance. They could still sense him.

"Why didn't you kill him?"

"I might be more capable than you, but I'm not that capable."

"He was just talking about how bold you were!"  
"I am not bold. Brave, maybe, but never bold. I owe some people a debt." Orhime and her help that winter. "I have paid them back by moving you. I could not do it if you were that close to Aizen."

"Why haven't you moved us further away?"

The green eyes locked onto the human's. "So that you might see."  
"See what?"  
"What the truth is. That you might learn and not make judgements."  
"What are you talking about?"  
"I'm taking about me, I'm talking about Kurosaki."  
"Ichigo?"

"He will be here soon. You will see." Kira looked back at Aizen. He was watching them. "He will come."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because if I had to do something similar for my own Karakura Town, I would be here too."

"Where is your town?"  
"It's far away. Very far."

"You're hurt."

"It does not matter if you are hurt and know where you are. It is easy to find help. I have learnt that. If you are in pain and you are lost then there is no hope. But if you can find your way…then you'll be just fine."

"What are you talking about? Speak sense."  
Kira looked at the young human. "Not long ago I was put in a place of intense suffering. I wanted to hurt every single soul who had been involved in that harm. I hated myself for getting in harm's way. And I waited for something familiar to come along. It never did, so I had to find it. And now that I have, I'll never be in that situation again. You can't give up if you can't run out of hope."

"You're speaking so much shit." A cool voice entered the scene. "You think you could have channelled that into some ass kicking, but no. You're wasting your breath on some little human." Grimmjow spat. "Pathetic."  
Kira laughed monosyllabically. "You took your time, have fun?"  
"What do you think?"

"You're the one from…" The young girl said as she stared at Grimmjow. All her friends were silent in the presence of the two creatures.

"Yeah?" Grimmjow eyed her. "What of it?"

"You hurt Kurosaki."

"Just returning the favour." The Sexta grinned. "And I plan to do it again."  
"No you don't, you ass." Kira replied flatly.

"What the hell, Kira?" He scowled at her. "If you speak again I will rip your windpipe out."

She rolled her eyes and used Sonido to gain a higher viewpoint of the Town. Grimmjow was there beside her just as she landed on top of a building that overlooked the place Aizen stood. He was talking with Gin.

The Sexta looked at the girl. "What happened to you?"

Her breathing was short and her jacket was stained with blood. "I got backstabbed."

"You didn't back stab the bastard back?"

"Not my place." She looked at her friend. "Don't fight Kurosaki." She said honestly. "Don't do that. Be King and have an enemy to make it interesting. Don't end the game just yet."

Grimmjow raised an eyebrow at her. "What the hell are you trying to tell me what you do?"

"Just in case you take the advice."

"Promise."  
"I ain't making promises I won't keep."  
Kira turned to him. "You promised not to die. If you can keep that, you can keep this."

"Csh."  
"You will pass from here, but you will appear somewhere else. You. You get to live on, even if you have to start again with no memory of before. If you were an ass as a human, you'll be an ass as whatever you get to be after this."

"Will your sorry face be there?"

"Probably." Kira mused. "And I don't mind at all."  
Grimmjow was quiet.

Down below things were unfolding. Gin had driven his sword into Aizen's chest. Into his heart. The victim began a process of shock and pain before claiming a victory and slicing through his last ally.

And then he came.

They could see Ichigo but they could not sense him. His hair was longer, his eyes determined. But he felt like nothing. Grimmjow was frowning down upon the scene, watching and waiting. It was unknown what was going through his mind, but the Novena could only imagine.

She knew him. She knew him personally and emotionally and intimately. She knew what he looked like when he was sleeping and she knew he took no crap from anyone. She knew he was a violent hot-head with a lethally short temper and a sadistic sense of humour.

She knew she wouldn't change one thing. Because if she did, he wouldn't be Grimmjow anymore and that would be sad.

Kira knew she was in a bad place currently. When she blinked a couple of tiny white dots appeared in front of her vision. The bleeding had stopped but the damage inside was still working its way back to a state of survival.

The Novena felt the pain ease as Kurosaki took Aizen to a place secluded from the town to fight. She smiled. He had done it. The human had done it. He would be able to do it. It was all coming to an end. It was all coming back to the place it had rested those nights on the sand. Those endless, quiet moments of thought. The moments when they had turned away from what they had been and became what they were.

They.

They.

They.

Them. It meant two or more individuals. Two who had come together, who had chosen to be together. You don't just end up on a road you're walking down. You choose that road. They had chosen the same road. They had chosen paths parallel. They had chosen.

He had been with other women. He had always been alone. And now he was alone with someone. Being alone together was much better than being alone apart.

Being away from that person…it was more painful than being with them. Even though you could not meet their expectations, even though you hurt them and they hurt you; it was worse to have never known them.

Kira put a hand on Grimmjow's arm and lifted onto the balls of her feet to press her mouth against his temple.

"You were thinking about something crap, weren't you?" His eyes slid over to where she was.

"Yeah. Want to hear it?"

"No. Piss off."

Of course she wouldn't have told him. Souls like them…they don't kiss and tell. Not even each other. You don't have to tell, but the other does have to know somehow. Not telling when there was something to tell; that was just as good for them.

Ichigo was dead silent. He was taller, his hair was longer and his outfit had changed. His blade was different and though Kira could not feel his reiatsu she knew he had more power than she had ever imagined him capable of possessing. That young man, that human boy…he had triggered the events that had led her to where she was.

To where her current state of evolution rested.

The red-head spoke to Aizen, got a reply and responded by moving his enemy to another location. The physical act defied any premonitions.

The Novena took off after the figures. The pain in her torso had not eased, but her head was clearing as the situation began to lay itself bare. Things were getting simpler. Problems were getting removed. Those who lived were being narrowed down so that those who would live could.

Grimmjow was already standing near the battlefield. He had his hands in his pockets and his face was apathetic. It was as if it were the first time she was seeing him. He had not changed. His eyes slid over his shoulder to her. Okay, maybe he had changed a little. He had evolved too, but he was still the Sexta. He was still Grimmjow.

The Novena stepped up beside him and was silent as she watched the two distant figures face each other. Those in the town…they would be able to see, to sense…but they were out of dangers way. The town, its buildings, its houses, gardens and washing lines were all safe from the collateral the battle would cause.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, you think you can beat me?" Aizen's tone was puffed up. "You do not know my power. You cannot comprehend it."

"Maybe not, but I will beat you. It's not a matter of if I can; it's a matter of when I will."

Grimmjow's jaw tightened. Yeah, that pinched a nerve. The way the boy always thought he could win even when the odds were stacked so high against him…that pissed him off. Royally.

"I wonder where his reiatsu is." Kira mentioned quietly.

"Csh. He probably threw it away."  
That wasn't far from the truth. Not at all. But they didn't know that yet.

Aizen opened his mouth again, his eyes lightly gliding over the pair watching nearby. "The Espada you have faced, they were like a children. They could do things, but really they were just there. They had been born out of what there were and there was no more."

"You don't know them then."

"I created them."  
"They were around before you."  
"A lesser version of what they are."  
"And now there are two left."

"Hardly."

Kira ground her teeth together. He was mocking what he had used them for. Mocking them. Pitying them. Using them even then.

"The Espada…I told them to follow me but not to trust me. Those who did died. Those who didn't will."

Kira gripped her sword briefly before stopping herself. "Your short temper is growing on me." She mentioned to her partner, her mate.

"Csh." He dismissed her.

"Don't pretend you aren't roaring to go. Furious."  
"No one's pretending, you brat. Shut your ass up and be quiet or piss off."

Grimmjow didn't hold her hand or put an arm around her or even glance her way again. He watched the fight. Kira watched him watch it occasionally; when she ended a break from her hatred towards Aizen. She could see every movement in his dead expression. It was going well, then terribly and then well again.

And then Grimmjow's expression changed. His eyebrows came closer together. Kurosaki had said what he had done to get the power to defeat Aizen.

He had said it.

He had discarded his Shinigami powers.

All his powers.

After this battle there would be no others.

Kira turned to the battle. Grimmjow's eyes were locked onto Kurosaki. He was evidently angry. His hands were balled into fists. In his eyes the Shinigami was not worth fighting anymore. Not unless he leapt in then. And if he did that, the one man he hated more would live.

There was a shock of black and then a burst of energy. Kira lifted her arms over her face and felt it pelt against her skin. She was wounded, but not mortally. Not anymore. She had come so far. Where an injury could have killed her, now it she could bare with it.

When the explosion cleared there was no Aizen. No ugly hollowfied Aizen. No power stealing, hypocritical, would-be-god. There was just Kurosaki and a giant hole in the ground below his feet.

The young man turned to the pair on the hill and took in the town just beyond. They were not standing between him and his home, they were just somehow in the view. Part of the story.

Grimmjow growled a few words. "Aye, Kurosaki, don't look so relaxed when you haven't even won yet."

Ichigo's eyes grew slightly as he noticed the small reiatsu behind him.

"Shit-head." The Sexta spat. "He hasn't got anything else in him after that move. He cant beat me and he cant beat Aizen."

"He doesn't have to." Kira said silently. "Look."

Urahara was on the opposite horizon. He spoke to Aizen as he struggled. The fall had been so short, so built up. Nothing could compare to the build up. Nothing compared to the suffocated feeling before the storm. When it finally came it was almost a relief. When if finally came…it was never as bad as waiting for it to happen. Especially if you have prepared so much that every single negative outcome had already been mentally prepared for.

Of course nothing prepares you for the event, the actual leap over the edge. But knowing that even the worst isn't completely terrible is…its…alright. Still terrifying and painful and emotionally upheaving, but prepared for. Like the training one goes through before a marathon.

And now…and now it was over. But it wasn't. Something just doesn't end.

There was screaming and cursing and bursts of reiatsu. It was violent, it was loud and it overrode the entire battle.

Aizen struggling against what Urahara had done, something the Espada had not heard explained but could see…the power he had taken in was rejecting him. He was going back to what he was before. And he was furious. He was still, in his mind, a god. One does not take a god by the feet and chain him to a pole. You bow to him.

You give him your power.

You do not use your power to trap his own.

At the end of it all, Aizen lay on his back, his eyes and head still his own but his body his main traitor. Kira and Grimmjow made their way over to the Shinigami and his fallen rags.

"Yo." The Sexta said as he stood over the man he loathed.

Kira breathed unsteadily out of the nerves that took over. Every memory, every negative…it ran through her like adrenaline. And then it drifted away only leaving a lingering sting.

"I'm glad he didn't kill you." The Novena said smoothly. "I'm glad you get to suffer as a weak being. Killing you would have allowed you to be born again as a different person, as the same soul. Leaving you alive…that will be your hell."

Urahara was watching the conversation. Aizen began to laugh. "Don't be an idiot. Don't underestimate me."

Grimmjow spat, the wet glob landing insultingly on Aizen's neck. He got a sharp glare for his efforts.

Behind them Kurosaki stood with his sword hanging loose. He looked tired. He looked stiff.

"Are…are you okay?" He addressed Kira. "You've been wounded."

She closed the distance between. "I'll live, I assure you." She held her hand out. "Thank you."

What she meant was that he was no longer her enemy or her nothing. He was her ally. Grimmjow watched stonily from a distance, his jaw clenched and his fists balled up.

"You said you'd fight me any time I wanted, Kurosaki." His voice was rough. "And for months I've wanted to take up the offer. Today you became someone who would be worthless in battle." The Sexta laughed. "You have no power and I could rip you apart right now."

Kira looked at Kurosaki. The boy's face was set.

Grimmjow growled lowly. "But that wouldn't be any fun. You're just a pest."

Ichigo did not answer. He didn't even look at the blue-haired Espada. Instead he looked at the Novena. "Will you stay in Soul Society or…will you be in Karakura Town?"

"I'll be in Las Noches. Not only did you keep your home, Kurosaki, you gave mine back. We are not hollow, we are not monsters, we are just a different species of everything you've already discovered. We don't trust you, we don't want your world. We don't want to eat your souls. We just want, like you, to be content. Grimmjow, he'll be fine using me, and the coming Espada as a punching bag. Me, I'll be just fine putting a few bruises on him when I take a break from stealing books from here and the Real World."

Kurosaki smiled. "I never thought I'd say it, but I hope it works out for you."

"Safety and peace, Kurosaki Ichigo. You won't be seeing me soon." Kira knew that it was so. He would loose his power. They would drift away.

The Novena felt a heavy arm land around her shoulders. "Back off, Shingiami." He hissed.

"This isn't your world, Grimmjow." Ichigo replied. "Go be a king where I cannot look down on you."

"Are you giving me permission to take your eyes out of your head?" Came the ugly threat.

Kira exhaled slowly. Her torso hurt. A lot. It was making her light headed. In a slow motion she turned away from the Shinigami, turned away from Aizen, turned away from Urahara.

Her eye's caught Orihime's as she ran towards the small group, her friends in tow. The Novena held her gaze for just long enough to let her know all had been paid.

It was done.

It was done.

It was done.

This part of the take was done.

Happily ever after is just a mushy way of referring to the life that continues beyond a story. It isn't happy and it isn't ever after. It ugly and brutal and hard. It gets boring and dull.

There would be no Kurosaki to fight. There would be no Aizen to defeat.

But there was evolution to achieve.

Always evolving.

Every single soul every single day. Seeing things, experiencing things, altering themselves ever so slightly in ways both good and bad to achieve some sort of outcome; survival and a the acknowledgement that there's more to living than being alive.

Souls were souls. People were people. Different colours and foods and languages and music. But always people with hands and eyes and hearts and minds.

A garganta was opened to the Real World. The fake Karakura Town smoked and lay in ruins. And then to Las Noches.

Grimmjow was tense and angry. Kira was resting her mind.

It was silent. Dead silent.

And then it was night. Not dark, just night. Sand that just went on and on and on and egg-shell white walls.

And whatever came after that would experience the king and the jester and the world they had fought to achieve.

All along it had been a battle for home. Even for those who loved to fight, it had been a battle to be better. It had been a battle to prove one's self. To be denied and kinda be okay with it. To have survived.

To go to a state where one was moving forward but not knowing where.

That was the next adventure.

That as the next place to go.

You can look back but you can't walk there. All you can do is move forward. Kurosaki had lost his power. Maybe he would re-find it one day. He would re-find it and Grimmjow would get his fight. Aizen was not dead. Maybe he would be back. Maybe Kira would face him again.

She didn't heal the wound she obtained from Aizen during the battle. She let it close over on its own. And she left the scars. It took a long time and it hurt. She kept pulling it open, kept tugging the healing wound the wrong way. And then it healed. Went red and then white. And it stayed. It stayed where the others had not. It vouched for them. That double sided scar. That never-ending story.

Nightmares are okay. Everyone has them. Everyone needs them. Everyone should acknowledge them.

She went back to Karakura Town. Orhime and Rukia saw her occasionally as she snuck into houses and emerged with a single book. Just one. Always one. Her return gift to them was not having destroyed them. Was having helped protect their town.

The Novena did go back to the window to Kurosaki's bedroom. She watched him move around and laugh with his sisters and live. But he knew. He knew someone was there but he couldn't sense them. He knew they would always be there. Souls, all kinds, were there. Real people. Real lives. Not just would-be monsters but beings that had chosen to find themselves.

The one night Grimmjow was with her. They sat on the roof of the house next door with a bottle of sake and they watched. Dead silent. It just never ended. It just went on and on and on.

But at least you didn't have to be alone on the lonely journey.

"You had to settle for me. I'm sorry." Kira said distantly.

"Csh. Its not much of a settlement."  
"Its something." She handed him the bottle. "What next?"

"Wait for the brat to regain his powers."  
"Brat?"

"Csh."

Kira smiled.

0

_Yes, that was the finale. I may write an epilogue but I do hope you enjoyed the final official chapter. _

_I left the actual events of the final battle with Aizen a little hazy because the anime hasn't reached it and I know some of you watch and don't read so I didn't want to spoil anything too much. _

_The whole story has been this emotional ride so I thought I would finish it with less action and more finesse. Closure is sometimes more important than victory and I feel the story does go on, even if it has no defined plot, setting or author. Call it an open ending if you will, but I tied up all I could within the boundary of the Bleach plot. _

_Please let me know what you thought, what you honestly thought. Constructive criticism is welcome. Thank you to all who followed this story and thank you for every review. It means a lot to me and it really encouraged everything along. _

_Blessings, readers. _

_P._


	23. Epilogue

**What is to Come**

What is to come we know not. But we know  
That what has been was good-was good to show,  
Better to hide, and best of all to bear.  
We are the masters of the days that were:  
We have lived, we have loved, we have suffered . . . even so.

Shall we not take the ebb who had the flow?  
Life was our friend. Now, if it be our foe -  
Dear, though it spoil and break us!-need we care  
What is to come?

Let the great winds their worst and wildest blow,  
Or the gold weather round us mellow slow:  
We have fulfilled ourselves, and we can dare  
And we can conquer, though we may not share  
In the rich quiet of the afterglow  
What is to come.

_- William Earnest Henley  
_**_  
_**


	24. A word from the author

Hello all,

As tradition would have it I have been suffering writers block. The beginning of each year is the same and 2011 is no exception. I'm so sorry for my long absence.

Shadowsnow broke my lack of inspiration by suggesting I write a story about Kira and Grimmjow in their 'human' lives. I'm quite taken by the idea and I was wondering who else was?

I'd love to write something that you would enjoy and be interested in.

Let me know.

Blessings,

P.


	25. Short Beach

I was going to write a story about the pair in Amsterdam because I was recently there and all I could think was 'This is Grimmjow's city.' Not for the Red Light District and the "Coffee" houses but it just felt all...Grimmjow-y. Maybe next time?  
Anyway. I was asked to write a GrimmjowxKira short on my tumblr (peterpauper . tumblr . com) so here it is. It was fun to write an I hope you enjoyed it.  
Let me know if you want more. Hopefully it will lead into the future story (if there is one) when Grimmjow comes back (if he comes back).

Cheers,

P.

* * *

Sand. Espada seemed to deal well with it. Beaches and sand – it worked okay. It was better than the endless night and the over-eager Arrancar that were coming through all the time. They all wanted a space as an Espada, to fill all the empty seats, and they tended to attack each other or the last two existing members for it.  
Grimmjow liked to play with them a bit while Kira delivered a swift death. They were like revved up teenagers, like little pests swarming around. Most treated the Sexta and Novena with the respect that came with their status while the others ended up mangled and broken under the constant moon of Huedo Mundo.

Kira had been venturing to the real world often to get away from the mundane listlessness of it all. She had been exploring and seeking out missions to complete personally since there was no Aizen to give orders and no Shinigami to argue with. Sometimes Soul Society called on them for some information, some research, sometimes Kira watched Kurosaki for any changes in his non-existent reiatsu.

Grimmjow stalked the boy too. Just cruised along with his apathetic face. Sometimes it was like Ichigo knew that the Espada was there, most of the time it was because his friends could see the blue-haired man over his shoulder.

Kira decided to drag Grimmjow away from his stalking. Away from training in Las Noches and ordering the Arrancar around like the King he knew he was. He sent them away on missions to different cities to dispose of Hollow. Not souls, Hollow. He never said why he made them do it but Kira suspected it was so that the Shinigami were led into a state of security. She hoped he didn't do anything stupid to jeopardise their fragile relationship with Soul Society.

The Novena flinched at a sudden stinging on her arm.

Grimmjow was pinching the skin above her elbow and staring at her flatly. "Stop it."

She pried his fingers apart and rubbed the red mark. "Ow. And no." The Novena pulled her ponytail over her shoulder. "Stop paying so much attention."

"To you being an annoying brat?"

"Yes." She half smiled at him. "Its flattering that you notice me so often but seriously, if it pisses you off then get your own space. I brought you here but no one says you have to laze around. Go…get sunburnt."

He snorted and laid back against the sand, nearly tipping the umbrella as he rolled onto his stomach.

They had gone to one of the Islands off Japan. There was a nice breeze, a steady stream of sunlight and the constant sound of the ocean.

"I never really liked the ocean that much. Especially after that experience with the Shinigami gigai." Kira ran a hand up to her shoulder and back down to her elbow. "But its okay."

"Then why the fuck did you decide to come to the beach?"

"Because I didn't think you would adapt to grass that easily."

He roared with laugher. "Like hell you did."

"Well it wasn't because I wanted to wear a bikini."

The man raised an eyebrow at her. "You haven't taken your tent off once."

"It's not a tent. It's a beach shirt."

"It's a tent." He grunted.

Kira twisted and lay her chin on his shoulder and watched the ocean spinning back and forth. She kissed him there quietly. "We're cats, we don't like the water anyway."

He grinned mischievously. The Novena felt his mood change from lazy in an instant and sprang back. A gigai slows reaction times. By the time she had pulled herself away he had caught her ankle. Kira kicked sand in his face and scrambled to her feet to take off.

He was right on her heels, laughing that maniacal laugh of his. People looked at the pair shooting off down the sand. Mostly because Grimmjow had blue hair and a scar right down his chest. After a minute Kira felt him gaining. Her sprint had ended and his uncanny endurance caught up.

The girl stopped dead in her tracks and ducked as quickly as possible as she could. Grimmjow overshot her by an inch but caught her hair in the process, pulling it free and planting her on her back.

"OW!" Kira yelled as she lay staring up at his head as he hovered above her. "Stop smiling its not funny." She touched the top of her head to judge the damage. "Is it bleeding? If you gave me a bald patch I will destroy you."

He laughed and grabbed her by the waist. In a moment she was hauled over his shoulder and on the way to the ocean.

"No." She smacked his back. "No. I swear…Grimmjow." Kira touched her head again. It stung. "You're wearing white pants. White goes see-through in water."

"They're swimming pants that you picked. Whatever the world sees is your fault."

"I have no good comeback for that." She sighed and knew the water was coming closer. "Can I take my top off, please?"

"Its white." He said mockingly. "It will go see through."

"It will! Its cotton! Its not swimming material – whatever it is."

"Ha." He snorted and began wading into the water.

"Okay." Kira said flatly. She looked up whistled loudly. It caught the attention of a little boy. "Kid!" She wriggled her shirt up and over her head, hopefully giving Grimmjow a bit of fabric burn in the process. "Here! Throw this up there."

The boy caught the shirt with a blank expression. He stared at the black hair, black bikini and green eyes and then at the blue hair, tattoo and biceps before shooting off with a dumb expression. He went straight to his mother who was sitting under a red umbrella and started pointing and waving the shirt.

Kira twisted as best she could. "I hate you."

Grimmjow was too busy grinning to pay attention. He was enjoying her discomfort way to much for her liking. He knew she hated cold water and he knew she thought it was cold when her feet touched it and she bent her knees up to get them out.

"Last warning." She said flatly.

"Fuck that." Was the reply. Grimmjow dumped her off his shoulder and right into a wave.

Kira came up with a gasp and her hair plastered over her face. He stood there with his hands on his hips looking very pleased with himself.

The Novena splashed water at him before beginning to trudge back to the beach. Grimmjow grabbed her waist and pulled her back. Kira smiled at this and dug her foot into the sand behind his before twisting her body backwards. She felt her spine on his shoulder and took a breath as the water went over her head again.

When they came up Grimmjow gripped her wrist and growled deeply, his hair dripping with salty water.

"You deserved it, you brute."

He stared her down.

"We can both play the same games. You keep forgetting this." The girl draped her free arm around his shoulder and let a wave wrap around them. "You may be better but I can still make it a bit difficult."

Grimmjow rolled his eyes and pressed a hand to her hip.

"Can I have my hand back, please?"

After a sigh he lifted it up over his shoulder and dropped it there to match her other arm.

"Wishful thinking?" She smiled at him. "I don't think you deserve it."

"To hell with deserving it." He pulled her right to him.

Kira ran her fingers through the back of his wet hair. "You're so full of yourself. You're not that great you know."

"Oh, I'm better." He rumbled.

"Sometimes."

"All the time."

"Lets agree to disagree on this one."

Grimmjow laughed and kissed her. He tasted of salt and water. And then he picked her up by the hips and tossed her backwards into the sea.


End file.
